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The parking lot alone was enough to make Kyle regret saying yes.
The second he saw the giant faded shark sign and the towering blue-and-yellow slides twisting over the building, he stopped dead in his tracks.
“Nope,” Kyle said immediately, turning around. “Absolutely not. Last time I went to a waterpark I got traumatized by pee water and nearly died.”
“You did not nearly die,” Stan laughed, shutting the truck door.
“Kyle, we were like eight,” Kenny said.
“And Pipi’s got shut down!” Cartman added. “This place has regulations. Probably. Hopefully.”
“That is not reassuring!”
Stan slipped his fingers through Kyle’s before he could keep spiraling. “C’mon, dude. It’ll be fun.”
Kyle narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “You said that before the zipline incident.”
Stan grinned. “Okay but this time I’m bigger and stronger, and if you actually hate it that bad we bail.”
Kyle hated how much that actually worked on him.
Because unfortunately for Kyle Broflovski, his boyfriend had grown into broad shoulders, stupidly pretty blue eyes, and the kind of body that made Kyle’s brain short-circuit whenever Stan rolled his sleeves up.
And now they were at a waterpark.
Which meant shirts were eventually coming off.
Kyle swallowed hard.
“Earth to Kyle,” Cartman said, waving a hand in front of his face. “Your boyfriend’s hot. We know.”
Kyle immediately flipped him off.
The locker rooms were humid and loud, packed with the sound of slamming lockers and squeaking flip-flops.
Kyle tried very hard to focus on literally anything except Stan standing two feet away tugging his shirt over his head.
And failed miserably.
Stan’s shirt caught on his hair for a second before he pulled it off completely, revealing tan skin littered by beauty marks and moles. His shoulders were broad now, chest lean but solid from years of hockey and football and generally just being unfairly wellbuilt.
Kyle’s brain completely blue-screened. Short circuited even.
Because Stan looked good.
Like… really good. REALLY stupidly good.
Stan noticed him staring almost instantly.
A slow grin spread across his face.
“What?”
Kyle snapped his gaze away. “Nothing.”
“Yeah sure.” He snarked with sarcasm
Kyle yanked his own shirt off quickly before he could overthink it.
The silence that followed made him glance back up.
Stan was staring too now.
Kyle suddenly became hyperaware of everything at once. The freckles across his chest, the soft curve of his stomach, the little trail of damp curls disappearing beneath the waistband of his swim trunks.
Kyle then made the fatal mistake of turning around to dig in his locker for something, exposing the two indents on his lower back, his Venus dimples.
Stan looked genuinely dazed.
“Holy shit,” Stan muttered before he could stop himself.
Kyle’s ears turned bright red. “Shut up.”
“No, seriously.”
“Kenny is literally right there.”
Kenny gave them a thumbs up while struggling to untangle his necklace from his shirt.
Stan stepped closer anyway, eyes warm and annoyingly soft.
“You’re really pretty, dude.”
Kyle felt his stomach do a stupid flip.
Then Cartman gagged loudly from across the locker room.
“Oh my God, enough gayshit. We’re here for waterslides.”
Kyle fully intended to act normal once they got into the park.
That lasted maybe seven minutes.
Because the first thing Stan did upon entering the wave pool was grab Kyle around the waist and drag him into deeper water while Kyle shrieked loud enough for nearby children to stare.
“STAN!”
“You’re fine!”
“I CAN’T TOUCH THE BOTTOM!”
“Yes you can, drama queen.”
“I literally CANNOT”
“Baby…the water is 5 feet deep, bro forgot he can stand.” Stan joked while rolling his eyes
A wave crashed into them before Kyle could argue.
Kyle instinctively latched onto Stan immediately.
Arms around his shoulders.
Legs nearly wrapped around his waist.
Stan laughed so hard he almost swallowed pool water.
“Oh my God,” Kenny wheezed from nearby. “He’s clinging to you like a baby koala.”
“Shut up!” Kyle snapped, tightening his grip anyway when another wave hit.
Stan steadied him automatically, hands firm on Kyle’s hips.
“You okay?”
Kyle looked up at him, hair soaked and curls plastered everywhere, and tried not to notice how unfairly attractive Stan looked dripping wet.
“Maybe,” Kyle muttered.
Stan smiled.
And Kyle was doomed.
By the time they hit the lazy river, Kyle had completely abandoned pretending he wasn’t attached to Stan at all times.
It started innocently enough.
Kyle floating in a tube.
Stan swimming beside him.
Then Stan started spinning the tube every time Kyle drifted too close.
Then pushing him through waterfalls without warning.
Then grabbing the back of the tube and yanking Kyle forward fast enough that Kyle nearly flew off while laughing so hard he couldn’t breathe.
“Stan!”
“You said you wanted excitement!”
“I said this river is relaxing!”
Stan just grinned and shoved him through another waterfall.
Kyle sputtered dramatically while Stan laughed himself stupid.
“YOU BITCH! YOU TRIED TO WATERBOARD ME!” Kyle shrieked
“Maybe, maybe not, who knows.” Stan grinned.
At some point Kyle ended up lying across the tube on his stomach while Stan floated beside him, one arm draped lazily over the edge.
Then somehow that turned into Kyle absentmindedly playing with Stan’s wet hair while drifting under the fake palm trees.
It was weirdly peaceful.
Warm sun.
Cold water.
Stan right there beside him.
Kyle looked down at him floating in the water and felt his chest ache a little.
Stan caught him staring.
“What?”
Kyle smiled softly this time instead of denying it.
“I’m having fun.”
Stan’s expression changed immediately — softer, fond.
“Yeah?”
Kyle nodded.
“Way more fun than Pipi’s.”
“That’s a low bar.”
Kyle snorted.
Then another current pushed the tube sideways and Kyle nearly drifted away from him.
Without thinking, Kyle reached down immediately for Stan’s hand.
Stan intertwined their fingers underwater like it was the easiest thing in the world.
And for the rest of the lazy river, Kyle didn’t let go once, and why would he.
The lazy river had officially become Kyle’s favorite part of the entire park.
Not the giant slides.
Not the wave pool.
Not even the food.
Just this.
Floating aimlessly while warm sun hit his face and Stan stayed glued to his side like he always did.
Kyle was stretched across the tube now, laying flat on his back with one arm dangling lazily in the water. His wet curls dripped against the plastic while he squinted up at the bright sky.
Meanwhile Stan had taken it upon himself to chauffeur him around the river.
One hand on the back of the tube.
Pushing him through the current.
Occasionally spinning him just to hear Kyle scream.
“You’re abusing your power,” Kyle informed him lazily.
“You love it.”
“I tolerate it.”
Stan snorted. “Your ass literally scooted closer to me when I stopped pushing.”
Kyle opened one eye. “Don’t psychoanalyze me in the piss river.”
“It’s chlorinated.”
“Still probably has pee in it.”
Stan laughed and shoved the tube harder.
Kyle drifted forward with a startled yelp before dissolving into giggles again.
God, Stan loved hearing that sound.
Kyle had been tense all morning when they first got there, shoulders tight and hesitant every time they approached a slide. But now?
Now he looked completely relaxed.
Happy.
Stan would’ve stayed in this stupid lazy river for five hours straight if it meant seeing Kyle like this.
Unfortunately, after nearly an hour of towing his boyfriend around like a human tugboat, Stan’s arms started burning.
“Okay,” Stan huffed dramatically, “I’m tired.”
Kyle peeked over the edge of the tube. “Weak.”
“Fuck you.”
Stan let go of the tube for exactly three seconds before the current separated them slightly.
Kyle immediately reached for him on instinct.
Stan grinned tiredly.
“Clingy.”
“Get back over here,” Kyle muttered.
Stan laughed before diving partly under the tube instead.
Kyle startled when he suddenly felt weight beneath him.
“What the fuck-”
Stan resurfaced underneath the back half of the tube, floating on his back in the water.
His shoulders and chest were directly beneath the tube while his legs trailed behind him under the water.
More specifically-
His knees had ended up pressed against Kyle’s ass to keep the tube balanced.
Kyle immediately choked on air.
“Stan.”
“What?”
“Your knees are in my ass.”
“Yeah,” Stan said easily, clearly exhausted. “I got tired.”
Kyle could feel the vibration of Stan’s laugh through the tube itself.
It was ridiculously warm, was it the sun or something else? Kyle genuinely did not know.
Kyle looked down between his knees where Stan’s wet hair floated in the water beneath him, eyes half-lidded from the sun.
Stan looked up at him lazily.
“You comfy?”
Kyle tried to stay sarcastic.
Failed completely.
“…yeah”
Stan smiled softly.
“Good.”
The current carried them around another bend in the river, the tube drifting slowly while Stan floated beneath him like some kind of lovesick sea otter.
Kyle rested his head back again, unable to stop smiling.
“You know,” Kenny called while drifting past them on another tube, “you guys are disgustingly codependent.”
“Jealous?” Stan asked.
“Violently.”
Cartman floated by immediately after with nachos somehow balanced on his stomach.
“This is the grossest thing I’ve ever seen,” he said flatly.
Kyle flipped him off without even lifting his arm. “Kill yourself.”
Stan just adjusted slightly underneath the tube, knees bumping Kyle’s backside again as the current carried them forward.
Kyle felt heat crawl into his face instantly.
Stan noticed.
A smug grin spread across his face.
“Oh my God,” Kyle groaned, covering his face with both hands. “Do not fucking start.”
“You’re blushing.”
“It’s hot outside!”
“Mhm, not that hot, it’s 74 I think.”
Kyle lightly kicked the water at him.
Stan laughed so hard he nearly slipped fully underwater.
And somehow, despite every childhood memory of Pipi’s trauma, Kyle realized this was probably the best day he’d had in a long time.