Chapter Text
Who on earth would have the audacity to just use her name! It had been weeks since Colin had come into their bedroom carrying the counterfeit Whistledown. When Penelope set down her pen, she assumed that at some point someone would attempt to take her place as Mayfield’s gossip writer, but she did not expect for them to use her name! A name she had worked so hard for. A name that almost cost her everything. It had almost cost her Colin.
Colin… She gasped as came back to the present. Colin was currently inside her. She looked up into the eyes of her husband. There was a hint of concern on his face. She let out a moan of pleasure that seemed to reassure him. She was right there with him. Her mind had only wandered for a moment. She was not even thinking about Elliot who had been extra fussy earlier. When she handed him off to Rae tonight, he had let out a cry that made her heart ache. Rae had assured her that he was fine, but she should have taken him to sleep herself. Maybe she should go check on him, maybe…
“Pen”
Penelope focused back in on Colin, his voice was desperate. He was close. She knew it. He rolled his hips pushing into her in the just the way that she loved. She allowed herself to revel in the feeling, she grasped at his back to encourage him. Colin’s pace quickened his breathing becoming shallower. He could not hold out much longer. Before she knew it Penelope was doing something she had never done before. She closed her eyes and started breathing rapidly. “Colin.” She cried out.
Colin let out a groan of pleasure, thrusting into her as he came deep and hard. His breathing slowed back to normal, and he smiled at her kissing her softly as he pulled out and fell beside her on the bed.
“Are you alright my love?” He asked pulling her in close.
Penelope hesitated she had never done that before, faked her pinnacle, she had never had to. She had never even entertained the idea. She wasn't sure why she had done it tonight.
He was turned to her now his deep blue eyes searching hers.
“I'm well.” She said forcing herself to smile. It wasn't a lie she was in such a happy place in the arms of her loving husband.
Colin did not seem convinced. “Was it all right?” he asked.
Penelope's mind wandered back to a conversation she had with Francesca a few weeks before John's death she had encouraged Fran to talk to her husband about any issues in the bedroom. She and Colin had never had any issues discussing their love life even their first time Penelope had boldly asked Colin what to do. Yet in this moment she could not bring herself to admit to Colin that she had faked her climax. Looking into the concerned eyes of her husband she could not bear the thought of him knowing the truth.
“It was wonderful Colin.” she smiled gently grasping his face and pulling him in for a kiss
“You can tell me if anything is wrong.” Colin said.
“I know love.” Eventually Colin drifted off to sleep as Penelope’s head continued to race with thoughts of Whistledown, Elliot, dear Fran, and now the guilt of being dishonest with her husband.
***
Portia had headed off to Dankworth house early that morning to visit Prudence, so Penelope and Colin had the rare opportunity to break their fast without her presence. Colin had brought Elliott from the nursery to share breakfast with them and was currently feeding his son.
“I’m afraid I won’t be able to accompany you to Francesca’s this afternoon.” Colin said.
Penelope watched as Elliott reached for the plate of biscuits that Colin had just moved out of his reach. They learned very quickly that Elliott much like his father could not be trusted around a plate of biscuits.
“Oh, Why is that?” Penelope asked.
“A tree fell last night, no doubt because of all the recent rain. It fell onto someone’s roof so I will go out and access the damage to try and get it repaired as quickly as possible.”
Managing the Featherington estate had not been a role that Colin had asked for but once it was thrust upon him, he had taken it without complaint. Colin had been so devoted to managing the estate and making sure the tenants were treated fairly. Penelope knew that he did it for the people he served and to make sure that their son’s legacy was secure.
“Oh well of course. I understand.” Penelope smiled as she watched Colin bounce Elliott on his knee, making their son giggle with delight. She thought back to the night before. She cringed as she thought back on her performance.
“Colin.”
“Yes, my love?”
“Last night.” Penelope did not know how to say this, but she felt like she needed to. She did not like lying to him. “I… I was deceitful.”
Colin looked up from Elliott. “What? What do you mean?”
“When we were intimate.” Penelope glanced at Elliott, she knew he could not understand her but was wishing she had thought about it a little more before having this conversation in front of him.
Penelope could already see the concern in Colin’s eyes.
“Yes.” He said encouraging her to continue.
“I may have exaggerated my …” She lowered her voice. “Pleasure… a bit”
Colin’s face seemed to go pale. “What? You did not enjoy our time together.”
“Oh God no, I mean yes, I enjoyed our time together dear. I always do. I just did not achieve my pinnacle.”
Colin fell back into his chair as if the wind had been knocked out of him. “I see. Why did you not tell me? Why did you… pretend?”
“I’m sorry Colin. I’m not even sure why I did it. I’ve just had so much on my mind. This Whistledown thing has been weighing on me. Elliott cried so much when I left him last night. Then I started thinking about Fran and poor John and I just. I think that I was just feeling overwhelmed.”
Colin sat forward and grasped Penelope’s hand. Elliott mirrored his father and attempted to reach for her as well.
“Pen, do not be sorry. It is alright. I knew that something was not right last night. I knew that Whistledown was bothering you more than you let on. A lot has happened lately. I want you to share your burdens with me. Do not try to carry it all on your own and please do not ever feel like you have feign anything with me.”
Penelope reached out her hand to caress Colin’s cheek. “I know, and I just-”
“Pardon me ma’am, but the carriage is ready for you Mr. Bridgerton.” Rae said suddenly appearing in the door.
Colin sighed. “Right, thank you Rae.”
Colin stood and handed Elliott off to Rae. Colin straightened his jacket. “I want to continue this conversation when I return home tonight.” He reached for Penlope’s hands. “Alright?”
Penelope stood grasping his hands. “Alright.”
“I love you.” Colin said leaning down to kiss her.
“I love you too.” Penelope said.
***
Colin did not know if her had ever been more distracted in his life.
Penelope had faked her pinnacle. He had done his best to hide how devastating the news had been to him at breakfast that morning, but he had been unable to think of anything else since she had told him. Colin was so not so ignorant to think that a woman could always achieve her pinnacle from penetration alone. In the past, it had been clear when Penelope had not, so he used other methods to make sure that she finished. So why had she pretended last night? Just so that he could finish? Which he did and then he just rolled over and went to sleep leaving his dear wife unsatisfied. What kind of man would do that?
Colin knew exactly what kind of man would do that. The type of men who had mistresses and treated their wives like property. Colin could never understand men like that. When he found himself surrounded by that kind of conversation at the club, he always had to remove himself.
Colin never wanted an intimate encounter with Penelope to be anything less than completely satisfying for her. He hoped that she knew that. Was she trying to spare his feelings? Was it him? Had he done something wrong. Was their love life becoming dull? Perhaps last night was not their most adventurous encounter but they were far from dull! Colin had seduced her in the gazebo less than a fortnight ago. It’s true that since Whistledown and John’s passing their amorous encounters had not been quite as frequent. Still, they were passionate.
Had she perhaps just not been in the mood? He knew that this Whistledown thing had upset her. Her novel had been flowing from her pen before the counterfeit issue had arrived. Penelope claimed that she was fine, but since then she seemed to struggle with her novel. The words not coming like they had been.
Elliott had been particularly fussy lately. Colin knew that it was probably colic. He had seen it many times before with his younger siblings. Each time he worried, but by the time Hyacinth had experienced it, he had been much calmer about the situation. It was hard to hear his own son in such distress, but he knew it had been even harder on Penelope, who had never been around a crying babe before. This was her son, her first child, she was understandably worried.
She had also been spending a lot of time with Francesca. Since Michaela’s unexpected departure Penelope had felt the need to make sure that Fran always had someone available to her. She, Eloise and his mother had taken on the brunt of that. Penelope was constantly putting on a brave face for his sister. Penelope did that a lot, hid her feelings to make someone else feel better.
“Mr. Bridgerton?”
Colin came back to the present situation he realized his tenant a Mr. Barnaby had been speaking to him for some time. Colin glanced at Barnes hoping his valet could somehow relay the tenant's words through a glance.
Barnes hesitated for a moment but then seemed to read the situation. “Of course, I think Mr. Bridgerton would agree the slate tiles are the better choice.”
“Yes Mr. Barnaby just let Barnes here know what you need and we will get you the supplies to start the repairs right away.” Colin said.
Mr. Barnaby smiled reaching out to shake Colin's hands. “Thank you Sir I really am so grateful for your help.”
Colin nodded and smiled at the man. “It's what I'm here for Mr. Barnaby if you'll excuse me.” Colin walked off leaving Barnes to gather the details. On any other day Colin would have gathered the information himself, but he could not bring himself to focus on anything other than Penelope at this moment.
He needed a plan of action he needed somehow to make this better. At this moment he wanted nothing more than to get his wife alone in their bedroom tear off her clothes and make her come harder than she ever had. He wouldn’t stop until she begged him to. He loved nothing more than watching his Pen writhe in pleasure to hear her cries to watch her lip’s part and her breasts heave.
Colin couldn't get on that train of thought at this moment he didn't need to get hard while walking through the Featherington land, lined with little homes and families. Besides maybe that wasn't the best course of action right now maybe that's not what she needed at this exact moment. Maybe she just needed comfort and to talk about the things that were worrying her.
Portia was not returning until tomorrow; they would have the home to themselves. He could make sure everything was perfect for Penelope when she returned. He would have their cook make her favorite meal, make sure that Elliot was fed and content. He could come up with a plan to unmask the new Whistledown. He planned on visiting Fran tomorrow so that Penelope could stay home and rest or work on her novel. He'd make sure her evening was comfortable, stress free, and of course if she needed further stress relief, he would be happy to serve in any way she desired.
Colin managed to get home much earlier than he anticipated he knew he only had a few hours before Penelope was expected to return from Francesca’s. He went straight to Rae with his plan, and she seemed more than happy help him achieve his goal. The two got to work right away making sure everything was ready for Penelope’s arrival.