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ESPN @ESPN
BREAKING NEWS: The Ottawa Centaurs are officially acquiring Montreal Metro’s captain Shane Hollander in a recent trade. More details to follow.
shane hollander’s attorney @hollzymvp
WHATsilver @baepshane
WHAT THE FUCKgel @agustorrie
THAT TAROT CARD READER WAS FUCKING RIGHT
valentine @STILLYOURBOYY
here comes rozanov in 3… 2… 1…
Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @rozanovofficial
Happy pride month to me 🏳️🌈
Ottawa Centaurs ✔️ @ottawacentaurs
It’s official, folks! We are excited to announce that we have acquired Shane Hollander as our new star centre! Let’s give him a very warm welcome 🏒♥️
valentine @STILLYOURBOYY
there he is
Shane Hollander ✔️ @shanehollander24
I rarely come in here but I’m excited to start this new season with @ottawacentaurs. I’ll work very hard with the team to bring home the cup in the upcoming season 🫡
Replying to @shanehollander24
Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @rozanovofficial
Hey there rookie 🫣
destiny @blushedilya
the concept of ilya rozanov calling THE shane hollander, 3 times stanley cup champion, conn smythe award winner, a ROOKIE
Replying to @blushedilya
p 🏒 @hollanovcoded
baby that’s basically foreplay
kenzie @81DEVILS
can we just pause for a minute bc this is groundbreaking. you’re telling me that the first husbands of hockey are now in a team together…
ana is thinking later @hollanovsmcrae
if shane got traded that means that last season’s rumor about the locker room fight with metros was true. montreal metros when i fucking catch you
hollanov reunited @pridehollanov
if rozanov was already so annoying about his husband when they were in different teams imagine how insufferable they’d be playing for the same one. oh centaurs good luck 😭
˃ ֊ ˂ @kuetubi
something about ilya’s birthday and shane’s trade to the centaurs happening during pride month clearly god has favorites
OTTAWA CENTAURS ALL FUNCTIONS
Wiebe added you to the group chat.
Wiebe 12.01 PM
Alright folks, it’s official now. Let’s all welcome @Shane Hollander to the group!
Boodram 12.02 PM
LET’S GOOOOOOO
Hayes 12.02 PM
Man, this is the craziest shit that’s ever happened to me
You’re a fucking legend dude @Shane Hollander
Haas 12.03 PM
hiii mr hollander 🥹
an honor to have you in this team!!!
Dykstra 12.03 PM
What Luca said
But more importantly, what kind of music do you listen to?
Hayes 12.04 PM
You are not making Hollander a playlist on his first day with us Dysktra
12.04 PM
Hi, guys!
Thanks for the warm welcome 😊😊
Uh I don’t really listen to music. Just what Ilya plays
Dykstra 12.04 PM
So basically gym thirst trap rubbish
Barrett 12.04 PM
Rozanov is awfully quiet
Kinda scared
Boodram 12.04 PM
He’s read our messages so far
U good man @ILYA 💍
ILYA 💍 12.05 PM
Barrett 12.05 PM
What is going on rn
12.06 PM
?
Boodram 12.07 PM
Rozanov shut up
What even is the purpose of this
ILYA 💍 12.05 PM
@Shane Hollander hey sexy u single? 😏
12.06 PM
I will be if you keep pulling this shit in the team chat 😊
ILYA 💍 12.05 PM
Ur my husband 😏
Just in case you guys start drooling on my husband and forget:
We are married with kids
12.06 PM
Ilya I think the whole world knows we're married, yes??
ILYA 💍 12.06 PM
Friendly reminder 🙏
Dykstra 12.06 PM
This is my first day witnessing whatever this is
Barrett 12.07 PM
Unfortunately they’re always like this
Haas 12.07 PM
mr hollander if it helps he's been talking about this trade for like two weeks
12.08 PM
Two weeks?
Boodram 12.08 PM
Our calender’s been crossed every day until your official first day of joining us
Barrett 12.08 PM
He made a powerpoint
Dykstra 12.08 PM
There were transitions even!!!
Boodram 12.09 PM
One slide was literally titled "Reasons Why Shane Hollander Should Be Traded to Ottawa"
12.09 PM
???
Why is this my first time hearing this @ILYA 💍
Hayes 12.09 PM
And it only said "because I miss him" with Comic Sans, font size 81, in bold
ILYA 💍 12.09 PM
And I stand by that
Can you all really blame me though
Could not wait a single day until we’re in the same team baby @Hollander
12.10 PM
Don't call me baby in the team chat???????
ILYA 💍 12.10 PM
Understood my sweet prince
12.10 PM
Ilya.
ILYA 💍 12.10 PM
солнышко (Sun.)
12.10 PM
Ilya.
ILYA 💍 12.10 PM
моё солнышко (My sunshine.)
Boodram 12.11 PM
Keep going
Barrett 12.11 PM
No don't
Hayes 12.11 PM
Actually yes do
12.11 PM
Ilya Rozanov.
Barrett kicked ILYA 💍 from the group chat.
12.12 PM
Thank you, Barrett
Hayes 12.12 PM
NOOOOOOOOO I WAS ENJOYING THE SHOW 😫
Hayes added ILYA 💍 to the group chat.
ILYA 💍 12.15 PM
Kicked from my own team???
During pride month???????
Boodram 12.15 PM
Oh brother
Barrett 12.15 PM
I can and I will do it again
ILYA 💍 12.15 PM
Wow
The discrimination is CRAZY
Barrett 12.15 PM
I’m also gay????
12.16 PM
You were harassing me
ILYA 💍 12.16 PM
I'm your husband
12.16 PM
Exactly
Hayes 12.16 PM
LMFAOOOOOOOOOO
ILYA 💍 12.16 PM
My husband hates me
12.17 PM
Ilya
ILYA 💍 12.17 PM
Yes моё солнышко (My sunshine.)
12.17 PM
I'm muting this chat
ILYA 💍 12.17 PM
NO
Hayes 12.17 PM
HE SAID NO 😭
ILYA 💍 12.18 PM
Shane please
What if I have important hockey questions
12.18 PM
Text me
ILYA 💍 12.18 PM
What if they're team related
12.18 PM
I will get notified if you tagged me
ILYA 💍 12.18 PM
What if I need emotional support
12.18 PM
Text me
ILYA 💍 12.18 PM
What if I miss you
12.18 PM
We are in the same house?
Hayes 12.18 PM
I love you guys so much already please never get a divorce
ILYA 💍 12.18 PM
NEVER
12.18 PM
Never.
Rozanov Updates @rozanovupdates
Ottawa Centaurs just posted a new reel!
Interviewer: “So, what’s the strategy for this year’s season now that you’ve got Hollander in your roster?”
Weibe: “Well, we’re very excited to have Hollander as our first line. This year is all about teamwork. Our strategy has always been 25% speed, 25% skill, 25% trust, and 25% just knowing where your teammate–”
[The camera pans to Rozanov, freshly out of the showers, poking his head from the locker room]
Rozanov: “–and 100% gay!”
Hollander, from somewhere inside the locker room: “Rozanov, shut the fuck up!”
Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @rozanovofficial
Hey Twitter, how do you make your profile picture have the flag thing?
Replying to @rozanovofficial
samantha 🏒 @tzprozanov
use this king https://pfp.lgbt/
Replying to @tzprozanov
Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @rozanovofficial
Thank you
Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @rozanovofficial
Happy pride from me who is sexy and bisexual and is married to the hottest guy in the league (I’m 2nd and is okay) #NewProfilePic
saz 😋 @HOLLANOV4PREZ
ilya rozanov, a well known retired playboy club terminator, part of the most misogynistic and homophobic league known to man, just changed his pfp with a bisexual flag attached on it. oh this is so important actually 🥹
ils @dearilya
any discourse against ilya rozanov WILL be counted as biphobia btw
Shane Hollander ✔️ @shanehollander24
Some of my recent reads :)
Happy pride, btw ♥️
Replying to @shanehollander24
Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @rozanovofficial
Sexy little husband with his sexy books and his sexy glasses (which you all will never get to see)
Replying to @rozanovofficial
Shane Hollander ✔️ @shanehollander24
Stop playing Twitter and turn off the stove. I can literally smell the eggs burning from the living room
Replying to @shanehollander24
Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @rozanovofficial
Keep going I’m close
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8124 @parentshollanov
oh i'm ilya rozanov i get paid millions of dollars to play hockey and my husband is shane hollander and he's currently sitting in my living room reading in his slutty little glasses while i make him breakfast FUCK YOU
centaurs cup SOON @rookierozanov
shaney’s collection of queer books for pride month and ilya’s chaotic bisexual profile picture reveal. gotta love my parents
Roger Crowell ✔️ @roger_crowell
Happy Pride.
Proud of the work we've done to make hockey a more welcoming place for everyone. There's no room for homophobia, discrimination, or hate in this league. Pride Month is a reminder that everyone deserves to feel safe, respected, and valued both on and off the ice 🏳️🌈
Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @rozanovofficial
When the call is coming from inside the house 🥱
Replying to @rozanovofficial
Shane Hollander ✔️ @shanehollander24
And nobody’s damn answering 🥱
Replying to @shanehollander24 @rozanovofficial
Scott Hunter ✔️ @scotthunter
Imagine how tired we are 🥱
Replying to @scotthunter @shanehollander24
Ilya Rozanov ✔️ @rozanovofficial
Ah yes grandpa let’s get you to bed since
shanehollanderhockeyplayer The second I laid my eyes on you on the ice half a decade ago, I knew I’ve found my equal and my match in every way that mattered. I still can’t grasp the fact that I get to do everything we hate and love together. I cannot wait to do them with you for the rest of our lives.
Happy birthday and happy pride, my dear Ilya. I’m beyond happy that I get to love you openly, proudly, and without fear 🏒♥️
yunahollander My sons ♥️♥️
ilyarozanovofficial he loves me
ilyarozanovofficial HE LOVES ME
ilyarozanovofficial Если говорить серьёзно, то с того самого дня, как ты появился в моей жизни, всё встало на свои места. Ты любовь всей моей жизни, человек, рядом с которым я чувствую себя самым счастливым на свете. Спасибо тебе за каждый день, за каждый смех, за каждое мгновение. Я бы выбрал тебя снова и снова, в любой жизни и при любых обстоятельствах. Я люблю тебя, моя любовь. Больше, чем вчера, и меньше, чем буду любить завтра. (Seriously speaking, from the very day you came into my life, everything fell into place. You are the love of my life, the person next to whom I feel the happiest in the world. Thank you for every day, for every laughter, for every moment. I would choose you again and again, in any life and under any circumstances. I love you, my love. More than yesterday, and less than I will love tomorrow.)