Chapter Text
“Look what the clown car dragged in.” A sultry voice begins.
The voice belongs to Aventurine, a rich blond who has to be at least bisexual.
Caelus huffs, not even having to turn around to know it's Sampo.
“Excuse me, I called him in-”
“Settle down ladies, settle down~” Sampo giggles, walking towards the group with you tiredly trailing behind.
Caelus turns around before quickly noticing you. “Oh, you brought R/I with you?”
“Of course! If you need anyone in a fight, it's her. Plus, we were already on missions together.”
You're slowly wondering if things would've been better if you had gone straight back to base instead of tagging along.
“This is Aventurine, by the way. Sorry he’s being a bit…rude.” Caelus explains.
“Oh I’ve run into my fair share of rich fellows, not to worry. It’s just not all of us can be so kind~”
Aventurine rolls his eyes at Sampo’s words. “I came to help in the fight, that’s the least I can do.”
“And I owed him a favor-”
“You call that helping from the kindness of your ‘good’ heart? You’re just another business man in a pool of favors. At least I can track my lifestyle.”
Sampo subtly rolls his eyes as Caelus holds back a smile. “Well, anyway. We didn’t come here to fight each other, let’s get going.”
“Anybody else gonna arrive?” You question, glancing at the group of four you’ve all made.
“Hm? Oh, yeah! If they’re kind enough, that is… See, I got lost from the rest of my group and that’s less than ideal.”
“Are we fighting a big guy or just everyday enemies?” you continue to persist. You’re not dropping the fact that you and Sampo could have been back at the base relaxing by now.
Caelus becomes slightly flustered, his eyes darting away from yours. “Uh, well..I mean, there will be a ‘big guy’ so to speak, at the end of this, yes. But otherwise, we have to defeat the small enemies to get there, first.” he ends with a smile.
You stare at him, deadpan facial expression. A slight annoyed sigh escapes Aventurine, whether he intended to do it so loudly or not. “You know what? I have free time anyways…it’s alright.” he tries to reassure himself.
“L-Listen, guys! I wouldn’t have called you if I knew you’d be busy-”
“You think an IPC member isn't busy all the time?”
“Hey you’re not a member anymore, gambler! You’ve got connections but you’re not in that group after your ‘death’.” Caelus interrupts, a small pout forming on his face. It seems no matter how mad he gets, he still makes it look cute.
Now you understand how Sparkle feels half the time trying to collect all the Fools. “Alright, calm down. I don’t know why you called us, but it seemed we were all free anyways no matter how reluctant we were to join you. So, putting rivalries aside, let’s just get on with it.”
Your speech would have been a lot more motivating if it wasn’t for your dead tone of voice. Oh well, it seems it’s worked anyways.
The group nods in agreement before heading onward to wherever Caelus is leading you all.
—
“I’m glad I rejected that invitation to join the Masked Fools.” Aventurine says after your, what’s felt like, 30th battle.
They’ve all been enemies that are easy to handle with a group like yourselves. With Caelus’ lightning support, Aventurine’s imagery shields and counterattacks, Sampo’s wind damage and your physical ties, you all didn’t even have to stop to defeat an opponent at this point.
“Mm, why’s that?” you ask, though you aren’t that interested in what this gambler has to say to begin with. It’s like the way you view Sampo, if it weren’t for his kindness and his sweet heart of gold only towards you, you probably would’ve never talked to him once joining the Masked Fools.
“Well, for starters. I do enjoy some fun in my life, but it gets to a point when you all find everything funny. Sometimes, you have to be serious! R/I, Sampo, when was the last time you were serious?”
Sampo hums comically in thought, looking off to the side as he taps his chin. That action already makes Aventurine roll his eyes. Your eyes go blank in thought, trying to remember a time that you were ever serious.
“Imma be honest, if I was ever serious, it was just a front for business!” Sampo replies in amusement.
“Uh, I mean I’ve been depressed a lot of my life. Does that count?” you reply right after.
A long, tired sigh leaves Aventurine. “See what I mean? Now, don’t get me wrong, the tailored fashion of your group isn’t that bad at all. If I'm being honest? I don’t know where you get the money for silks, satin and jewels like that. The thing is though, I don’t think I’d ever be caught in it-”
“The fur on your jacket is thinner than my di-”
“Caelus!”
“Caelus!”
You and Sampo yell at him in unison. He chuckles, “Sorry.”
That boy has some interesting humor.
“Um…As I was saying! The colors are just too bright and you all have to wear masks. What’s up with that? And do you even have a Masked Fools uniform?” Aventurine turns to Sampo in question, deciding to walk backwards now.
“Well of course I do!” Sampo replies. “It’s really nice actually.”
You nod in agreement.
“And what’s your deal?” Aventurine questions, his hypnotic eyes turning over to you.
“What? I’m a marionette, if that’s what you're asking.”
“Is that why you can fly around in the sky? I was going to conclude that you must just get air when you jump up, but I never saw you jump and you were moving around really elegantly.”
You nod along. “Yeah, Aha controls me.”
Caelus looks back at that.
“Themself?” Aventurine questions.
“Yeah I just thought a weird guy followed you around and controlled you- or like it was an act and that’s why your strings are 'invisible'." Caelus says in confusion.
Shaking your head you reply, “No. Aha controls me.”
Sampo crosses his arms with an annoyed huff. “And I have to wait until nine in the morning sometimes just for them to wake her up! They really like testing my patience.”
“So, Aha controls when you wake up and when you sleep, where you go…does that mean they’d watch you have se-”
“Caelus!”
“Caelus!”
Taking a deep breath like you’re explaining things to a child, you answer him shortly. “You met Boothill, right? Do you think he’d have intercourse?”
“Well, no.”
“He’s a cyborg, that’s why. I’m a wooden marionette, that’s why.”
“Huh, your lives suck.” Aventurine hums in what you could almost call empathy.
Caelus isn’t satisfied yet. “So why do you hang around her, Sampo?”
Sampo’s eyebrows furrow. “What? Did you think we were dating?”
“Pft, well…yeah. You talk about her a lot.”
If the sun was out right now, all three of you would have been able to see that tint of pink rising in his cheeks. It’s barely noticeable, but it sure does catch your eyes.
“I- Since when? Name a time.” Sampo challenges him, avoiding looking at you.
“Hm, let’s see…well, before we met her, you told us all about her. I mean I guess she is the poster child of the Masked Fools, but you were really hyping her up.”
“I think you’re remembering things wrong.” Sampo mutters under his breath. A small smirk appears on Caelus’ lips at that.
“And the whole time, including now, that you were with her, you were practically glued to the hip.”
“Uh, that’s because she’s not stable all the time.”
“How insensitive. I’m handicapped.” you joke in a sarcastic tone, amusement in your eyes as you look at Caelus, making him grin even more.
“Sorry, sorry.” he says playfully. “Didn’t know I’d get to such a touchy subject. Just if I see you guys making out-”
“I thought you were gay.” Aventurine intervenes, glancing back at Sampo.
“Huh? Oh, I’m bisexual.”
“Oh yeah, aren’t you the same, Aventurine?” Caelus asks.
“Shut up, twink.”
After a long walk and some chatter, your group finally makes it to the ‘big guy’. They’re quite big, alright.
“Okay, shields up.” Aventurine sighs, snapping his fingers. An invisible shield lights up a pale yellow very briefly around the four of you. While the three of you get closer, Aventurine simply stands at the sidelines, tossing a dice up and down in his hand.
Holding two glow sticks, or whatever those things are, Caelus hums softly to himself. “Alright, I’ll give a boost to you, R/I. Which side are you taking?”
“Oh, I didn’t plan that.” you reply, glancing over the beast. “Are those paint brushes on its back?”
“Yeah, don’t worry about it.” Caelus reassures quickly.
“I guess I’ll take the left and you go right. Why are we fighting this again?” Sampo says.
Placing your hands on your hips, you send a small glare to Caelus. “Are you material farming and using us?”
“What!? No! If I was doing that, I would've been obvious about it. I’ve been put on this mission to
defeat however many of whatever type of enemies and this is one of them.”
“Let me guess, we can’t hear the details? You know, it’s very difficult to do anything in this universe when everything’s private.”
“Don’t act like the Masked Fools are all open ended.” Sampo points out to you.
“Yeah, whatever…just give me the boost, Caelus.”
—
Finally..FINALLY! After defeating that enemy and saying your au revoir to the two gay boys, you and Sampo can finally go back to base and relax.
The trip back takes around twenty minutes, but it’s all worth it when you hit those colorful cushions in the lounge room that was transformed from what was originally an observation suite for rich people at the theater.
Sampo settles down beside you, his jacket shrugged off to expose those hunky- sorry, let me not get carried away- muscular arms.
Your wooden body has practically gone ragdoll from sprawling out so comfortably, earning a glance and a small chuckle from Sampo.
He’s counting his cash, as usual, but not as fast as his hands normally work. It’s almost like he’s savoring time.
“Don’t worry, Sampie, I think Aha is gonna let me stay up longer tonight.”
“Oh? I thought they were like your parent giving you an early bedtime.” He teases.
“Haha, very funny.” you answer sarcastically.
A moment of silence is shared between the two of you. Your eyes look over Sampo while his eyes slowly take in the numbers of his cash.
You don’t notice, but he keeps messing up counting.
With a fake attempt at an annoyed sigh, Sampo’s emerald eyes meet yours.
“Stop staring at me, little marionette, I’m messing up my counting.”
“How’s me staring at you messing up counting? It’s simple. One, two, three, four, five…I can keep going.”
“Mm, I know. Your eyes are burning into my sensitive pale skin, though.”
“Nuh uh.”
“It’s figurative.”
“Well duh, I know that.”
You finally sit up from your spot, your hair a bit ruffled from laying on the pillows.
“You’re distracting me, actually.”
He raises an eyebrow, holding back a laugh.
“How?”
“Well you took your jacket off, it’s practically like your upper body is staring at me. And, your eye makeup is too pretty. You’re asking for it~” you mock, using over used words women have to usually face.
“Oho, I’m asking for it? Is that any way to treat a pretty friend like me? I’m hurt, dear.” he turns his head away from you, faking a sad facial expression.
You roll your eyes. “For a Fool, you sure are a horrible actor.”
“Maybe that’s why they give us masks.” he chuckles, going back to counting.
With a sigh, you decide to leave him alone until he’s done counting his credits. Your eyes lazily look around the room at the warm lighting and pops of colors, to the antique, luxury items that were kept and polished in this room to add even more drama and theatrics.
You slowly start wondering what your life would have been if Sampo never found you, if you hadn’t joined the Masked Fools are any groups at all.
Maybe you would have been found by someone else, but all you know is that if Sampo hadn’t walked into your life, you don’t even know if you’d be living it anymore.
He found you at your lowest point. Your lowest point of depression, of self hatred and insecurities. You also wonder if he had you join the Masked Fools to make you happier or just so you two could be closer…
It had to have been the ladder. Everyone knows that there’s some horrible twisted part of every Fool. The only Fool(s) out there that are probably completely happy are Sparkle and Sparxie, but is she even completely happy?
Your flaw is that you’re wooden now. A living marionette whose emotions can only be sparked by the ones she knew before turning into this.
Glancing down at your hands, you examine them. They look human, but the small lines that are barely noticeable remind you of your wooden state..
“All done!” Sampo says cheerfully before tossing the stack onto his jacket. He stretches his arms over his head, the skin brushing against his soft, pretty hair.
“Such a distraction.” you mutter, glaring at him as he unknowingly flexes his muscles.
He hums in contentment, blinking slowly from the tiredness that threatens to close his eyes.
“Mm, I could go for a nap right about now.” he says, looking at you with a little smile.
If you have a RBF, then what does he have? A resting cat smirk, a resting smiling face? Eh, they don’t roll off the tongue. It’s not like he’s always smiling when he rests his face.
A resting pretty face is all that comes to mind.
That reminds you.
“So what, you tell your friends how pretty I am when I’m not around?”
He groans. “R/I I just want to sleep the night away. Do you really have to bring up hidden tension in our friendship?”
That almost makes you laugh. If there’s one thing that’s consistent about the Fools, it would be how aware they are. If there’s tension? It won’t go unnoticed. If they have a crush on you? Oh they will definitely be letting you know either on day one, or with some of the grandest, most theatrical acts ever known to romance.
“Fine, we’ll take care of it another day, Mr ‘I’ll make it up to ya, I promise’.”
“Jeez, lay off me for at least one day.”
With that, he moves to rest his head in your lap. Begrudgingly, you also move to find a more comfortable position on the cushions.
“I don’t get how wooden thighs are your ideal pillow.”
“Mm, they don’t feel like wood.” he replies, his voice slightly muffled by his cheek being squished against his ‘pillow’. His eyes are already softly closed and his body relaxed.
If you care to question why they go to sleep in all that getup of makeup and clothes? I’d be asking the same thing too. But hey, they're exhausted.