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Help! My Nerdy Roomie is Secretly Spider-Man and He's Bleeding All Over the Bathroom! by paralleling
Fandoms: Spider-Man - All Media Types, Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel
09 Jul 2026
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Summary
The bathroom itself looks like a murder scene, and there's this whole bathtub-situation— the rim of the tub is, of course, smeared with blood, and the water is darkened with it. And then there’s Peter, head lolled to the side, barely conscious.
Now, it’s one thing for Wade to be strewn out in a blood-filled tub looking half-dead, but his roommate? His un-enhanced, nerdy roommate?
“This isn’t a great look for ya, I’ll be honest,” Wade says, closing the door behind him and striding into the room with all the confidence he can muster. “Deathly-ill-chique went out of fashion at least a hundred years ago.”
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A few months ago, Peter shacked up with Wade Wilson, a.k.a Deadpool, thanks to the heavy "no one wants to live with a mercenary" discount. Though Wade has no care for any sort of secret identity, Peter is still trying to skirt around while pretending that he and Wade aren't close friends in the mask.
Enter the inevitable severe injury with the steel chair! (injury not actually resulting from a steel chair)
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