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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Hermione reluctantly runs a bar. When Draco comes in for a drink one night, he makes his interest immediately and insistently known. But the absolute last thing Hermione needs right now is to shag someone ten years younger than her with biceps bigger than his brain.

    …Probably.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    81,133
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    1,130
    Kudos:
    2,980
    Bookmarks:
    951
    Hits:
    93,132

    01 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    After the war, Draco Malfoy seeks refuge from infamy in the Muggle world. A friendly Muggle couple takes him under their wing, but there’s a problem: they are intent on setting him up with their best friend, Hermione Granger.

    Or, in which the Muggle friends Hermione Granger undoubtedly would have had will not take no for an answer.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    121,611
    Chapters:
    26/26
    Collections:
    58
    Comments:
    2,752
    Kudos:
    21,979
    Bookmarks:
    9,158
    Hits:
    1,159,709

    29 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    When one of the death eaters who attack the trio in the cafe turns out to be none other than Draco Malfoy, Hermione erases his memory. Only she accidentally takes too much...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    105,373
    Chapters:
    23/23
    Comments:
    1,837
    Kudos:
    1,457
    Bookmarks:
    415
    Hits:
    44,817

    27 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Hermione Granger wanted to lose control. And Draco Malfoy wanted to take it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    235,392
    Chapters:
    27/27
    Collections:
    38
    Comments:
    2,368
    Kudos:
    16,193
    Bookmarks:
    6,888
    Hits:
    1,490,496

    27 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    If there’s one thing Hermione Granger is good at, it’s using magic to fix her problems. And this time, her problem is sex.

    Luckily, she has the perfect solution: a locket enchanted with the Patented Daydream Charm. Whenever she opens it, she’ll find herself in Dreamland, where she can live out all her filthiest fantasies risk-free.

    The magic is a bit tricky, though. For some reason, Malfoy keeps showing up there with her. Thank goodness it’s only an illusion—if that was really him, she would never live it down.

    Meanwhile, Draco is determined to figure out who the fuck is cursing him to suffer through highly realistic, erotic hallucinations of his secret childhood crush. When he finds the culprit, there will be hell to pay.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    229,630
    Chapters:
    39/39
    Collections:
    30
    Comments:
    6,187
    Kudos:
    25,606
    Bookmarks:
    8,447
    Hits:
    1,675,355

    24 Jun 2026

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    “Sweet Salazar’s poxy dick, what is that?” said Theo, stepping from the floo into Draco’s dimly lit study.

    “This is Mrs. Malfoy’s progeny,” said Draco dryly. The orange abomination sat on his desk, too close to his ledger for comfort. The animal’s expression was excessively judgmental. Draco sneered back. “I am not allowed to kill it.”—Chapter 5, BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC

    A one shot about books, biscuits, and rodentia (or: the perils of gift-giving) inspired by Draco and Crooks in BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,078
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    109
    Kudos:
    1,429
    Bookmarks:
    140
    Hits:
    19,633

    22 Jun 2026

  7. Public Bookmark *

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    "His face was numb from vodka, his shirt was unbuttoned, he was sliding onto a leather banquette in a club with bottle service, and a girl was running her hand down his chest, asking how he got his scars. "Cursed," he told her.

    When his house arrest was done, Pansy dragged him along behind her to meet up with the pureblood scions who’d been too smart or too callow to get too involved, who definitely wanted to party but weren’t sure yet whether they wanted to party with Draco. They went to Muggle London—the supremacist kids always wanted to slum it there—and tried to pretend it was before the war.

    The purebloods couldn’t decide if they wanted to suck up to him or take the piss out of him, but they knew he wasn’t fun. He and Theo both—they fought too much and too sloppy; they didn’t care how much they got hurt and they didn’t care whether they won."—Chapter 5, BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC

    One shot inspired by BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,731
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    77
    Kudos:
    990
    Bookmarks:
    101
    Hits:
    15,939

    22 Jun 2026

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.

    When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.

    Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.

    (With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    195,969
    Chapters:
    21/21
    Comments:
    7,505
    Kudos:
    31,560
    Bookmarks:
    12,510
    Hits:
    1,921,608

    22 Jun 2026

  9. Public Bookmark *

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    Happy 2023!

    This one-shot takes place in the AVO universe, about 7 years after the end of the main (pre-epilogue) story from AVO.

    If you haven't read AVO, please do not read this! Spoilers abound!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,818
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    1,708
    Bookmarks:
    216
    Hits:
    53,884

    19 Jun 2026

  10. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    After three years of dating, Ron admits he cheated on Hermione for two of those years with Daphne Greengrass--and Harry knew all about it. Reeling from the betrayal by her friends and family, Hermione must rebuild her life and discover new bonds with an unlikely group including Theo Nott, Blaise Zabini, and Pansy Parkinson.

    What happens when Draco Malfoy, her first and deepest love, suddenly reappears in Hermione's life and she finds that her feelings have only grown deeper with time?

    OR: Hermione and Draco secretly dated at Hogwarts, he left after his trial, and now he's returned to win her back.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    288,120
    Chapters:
    32/32
    Collections:
    31
    Comments:
    2,649
    Kudos:
    24,097
    Bookmarks:
    10,097
    Hits:
    1,733,489

    18 Jun 2026

  11. Public Bookmark *

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    Hermione felt the pounding in her ears again. She would see him for the first time since the Great Hall, gaunt and stricken at the Slytherin table with his mother clutching his arm. She hadn't meant to look for him. Not in the corridors, not beneath the white sheets of the fallen, not on the way to the Chamber of Secrets with Ron, but she was a stupid girl.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    174,911
    Chapters:
    36/36
    Comments:
    6,119
    Kudos:
    42,391
    Bookmarks:
    13,827
    Hits:
    2,288,862

    15 Jun 2026

  12. Public Bookmark *

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    No, Ilya isn’t a martyr, but he isn’t selfish either.

    Tonight he wants to be selfish.

    Ilya wants to use Shane. He wants to use his willingness, his body, his everything to make himself feel better.

    It’s a truth. Maybe an ugly one, but one that he owes to both himself and to Shane to accept. Tonight will be about him.

    And Shane, for his part, is a willing participant in it all.

    ‘I want to be useful,’ he had said.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,974
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    229
    Kudos:
    3,759
    Bookmarks:
    1,150
    Hits:
    61,506

    12 Jun 2026

  13. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Walking back to the restaurant in a daze he had sobbed at random, at the sheer look of Moscow in the night, thinking, this is literally it. I’ll never come back. And maybe he would, but so far down the line that all would be totally unrecognizable. The orange light, the blue light against the snow. His nose running. Cars buried in snow, cars buried in snow.

    Moscow, Shane's cottage, Boston, New York.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,956
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    59
    Kudos:
    443
    Bookmarks:
    152
    Hits:
    6,261

    10 Jun 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane thinks this is probably the first - and last - time in his life that he’s ever been excited about grocery shopping. But it’s their first time doing it together, as a couple, out in public where other people can see them. Where, finally, they don’t have to pretend to be something they’re not.

    It’s such a small thing - insignificant to most people, probably - but it’s a luxury Shane never thought he would be allowed to have.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,822
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    597
    Kudos:
    8,307
    Bookmarks:
    1,397
    Hits:
    46,288

    10 Jun 2026

  15. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Life feels so chaotic for Shane sometimes, with all the loud noises and the unwritten rules he’s expected to follow, even though no one ever taught them to him. It’s why the bookstore feels more like home to him than anywhere else in Boston. It doesn’t ask Shane to be anything other than himself. Doesn’t ask for any more than he can give.

    He can just exist here.

    Shane likes slow, likes taking his time. And Ilya - without saying or doing anything in particular - makes Shane feel like that’s okay. Like he isn’t doing anything wrong by standing still sometimes.

    (Or, Shane works in a bookstore, Ilya plays hockey, and they both go to the same college. They fall in love in every universe.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,218
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    711
    Kudos:
    5,487
    Bookmarks:
    1,684
    Hits:
    57,075

    09 Jun 2026

  16. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    It’s strictly a business trip. Ilya’s her client, not her friend, and they have meetings with Porsche. She’ll probably see him for a few hours here and there, and she’s content to amuse herself for the rest of the time.

    Ilya seems to regard her trip differently.


    Ilya Rozanov: Have you heard of Berghain?
    Yuna: No, what’s that?
    Ilya Rozanov: Berlin cultural institution
    Ilya Rozanov: Bar and art and music
    Ilya Rozanov: Very iconic
    Ilya Rozanov: I think you will like it
    Ilya Rozanov: I go with my friend a bit later
    Ilya Rozanov: Come to dinner with us, then come for drink?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,166
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    359
    Kudos:
    2,375
    Bookmarks:
    285
    Hits:
    13,861

    09 Jun 2026

  17. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    The problem is, no one knows how to market Ilya Rozanov's (in his own words) sexy Euro masculinity to an audience of white straight men.

    He needs the best. And if it happens to be his secret lover’s mother who despises his very existence, so be it.


    +16319607169

    See? That is what I need. Do not care that you are not professional. You are best
    This is Ilya Rozanov

    Yuna

    This is a fucking joke, right?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,908
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Collections:
    25
    Comments:
    2,732
    Kudos:
    22,860
    Bookmarks:
    4,833
    Hits:
    112,810

    08 Jun 2026

  18. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane Hollander is a man who thrives on structure, routine, the solid ground of a ten-year plan. Ilya likes that about him, likes the embracing squeeze of having a life organized in tandem with Shane.

    No one would call Ilya a man who thrives on structure. But it’s there, if not in his DNA then in the patterns of his brain. A call-and-response of: they do this, I do that.

    When Ilya’s life is flayed open for the world to dissect, how will they push-and-pull their way back towards what was once a well-organized life?


    “I thought we could go through the schedules and figure out what days we’ll be in the same cities this season, or when either of us have a couple of days off in a row. Maybe make a shared calendar, so we c—”

    “A sex calendar? Your parents are arriving in thirty minutes, and you are proposing making a sex calendar?” Oh, this was delicious. He’d be able to eat out on this for years, if Shane was willing to give him that long.

    “It’s not a sex calendar! It’s just … when we might be able to see each other,” he finished, already sounding defeated.

    “And what are you planning on doing when we are seeing each other? Not fucking?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,947
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    14
    Comments:
    4,242
    Kudos:
    13,383
    Bookmarks:
    5,406
    Hits:
    243,565

    08 Jun 2026

  19. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    The Empire has come into existence earlier than in cannon due to Vader being discovered and trained as a Sith at a young age. Now with the Sith Empire secure, the Emperor has a mission for Darth Vader. To seduce the Senator of Naboo to turn her into a spy against the growing Rebellion. Except Vader wants more from the senator. He wants her as his wife and mother to his children.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    118,643
    Chapters:
    32/32
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    472
    Kudos:
    1,303
    Bookmarks:
    351
    Hits:
    103,304

    25 May 2026

  20. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya knew, right from the very moment he met Shane Hollander, that he would never be good enough for him. He’d seemed so…pristine, when they first met. Untouched. And Ilya knew his unclean hands would only dirty him up. He’s always been selfish, though; his father used to tell him that.

    So it’s no surprise, really, that Shane has finally gotten tired of it. Of him, always needing more from Shane than he deserves - always begging for more than he has earned.

    Ilya would leave himself, too, if he could.

    (Or, five time Ilya thought Shane would leave, and one time he knew he wasn’t going anywhere.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,381
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    389
    Kudos:
    8,220
    Bookmarks:
    1,644
    Hits:
    70,908

    14 May 2026

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