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Double, double toil and trouble by paranoid_fridge
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
29 May 2016
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Bilbo remembers saying no. And still finds himself at Hogwarts a week before term is about to begin, having tea with Headmaster Gandalf. Who has not only convinced Bilbo to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts, but now wants Bilbo to join the staff Quidditch team as well.
Never, vows Bilbo.
Obviously, this results in him playing seeker for a team lead by ambitious captain Tauriel and grumpy vice-captain Thorin.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 25,110
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 215
- Kudos:
- 1,319
- Bookmarks:
- 384
- Hits:
- 15,156
Bookmarked by Fwufferson
22 Jan 2024
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Blood and Iron by harrypanther
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
22 Aug 2021
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Summary
Erebor fell and the dragon sleeps on his hoard of gold. The scattered dwarves do not prosper under King Thrain in Ered Luin. Dwarves have few friends and fewer since the Crown Prince was lost and his younger brother assumed his duties.
Bilbo Baggins, respectable hobbit of the Shire, is travelling to Bree on behalf of the Thain, his Uncle, when he notes the dwarfish blacksmith. Curious, he realises the dwarf is a slave and on impulse, he buys him and tries to free him. But the dwarf, Thorin, has to explain that he has lost his honour and will be no longer welcome at his home. Especially when it seems that there are those who have profited from his absence...
Disclaimer: The Hobbit was written by JRR Tolkien. Film rights remain with New Line Cinema, Warner Brothers and MGM.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 177,140
- Chapters:
- 42/42
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 570
- Kudos:
- 3,110
- Bookmarks:
- 906
- Hits:
- 86,069
Bookmarked by Fwufferson
27 Sep 2023
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A Long List of Happy Endings by vicious_summer
Fandoms: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
19 Feb 2022
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Summary
“–Come Durin’s Day, the Mountain will host great entertainments, games, and feasting in your name and in the names of the other thirteen of the Company. Your path through all of Arda shall be made smooth to ensure your welcome in our lands, Bilbo Baggins. I bring this summons as it was sent from the Throne of Thorin, King Under the Mountain.”
Bilbo’s heart, racing as it had been from this thrilling invitation, seemed to trip over itself at the name. “Thorin?” he whispered, and he stepped forward without thinking.
--
Or: Bilbo learns that his story isn’t actually a tragedy, and that happy endings still take a bit of luck.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 162,620
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Collections:
- 9
- Comments:
- 1,566
- Kudos:
- 6,424
- Bookmarks:
- 2,176
- Hits:
- 150,301
Bookmarked by Fwufferson
24 Jun 2023
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When Bilbo finds a case of old family photographs, he becomes determined to find the original owners: what he does not expect is to become quite so involved in their lives, or that those photographs should prove quite so important.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,042
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 132
- Kudos:
- 1,986
- Bookmarks:
- 533
- Hits:
- 15,783
Bookmarked by Fwufferson
05 Oct 2022
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you could bring my healing by cosmicocean for DontOffendTheBees
Fandoms: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
27 Mar 2018
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Summary
"You see, I believe in the fundamental interconnectedness of all things.”
“…the fundamental what?”
“The fundamental interconnectedness of all things. You see, I’m a holistic… something. I’m not sure.”
“Dragon?”
“Sure, yes, I suppose. Anyhow, the term ‘holistic’ refers to my convictions about the, you know, aforementioned-“
“Fundamental interconnectedness of all things.”
“Yes."
Where the whole thing takes place in a fantasy world that is not unlike but not quite mostly for legal reasons Ankh-Morpork, Dirk is generally an existential dragon, Todd is a washed up electrical lute player, everyone is kind of awkward and useless except maybe for Amanda, and there is a boatload of fantasy references, plus one (1) Star Wars one.
Bookmarked by Fwufferson
01 Jan 2022
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Summary
Merlin and Arthur are spies, unconventional as they are.
- Words:
- 39,432
- Works:
- 8
- Bookmarks:
- 463
Bookmarked by Fwufferson
20 Dec 2021
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Merlin is a writing prodigy with the world's most angsty case of writer's block; Arthur is an overachieving Econ major struggling to escape his father's shadow. Together, they fight crime!
Well no, they don't. But they do fall in love.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 52,058
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 160
- Kudos:
- 2,845
- Bookmarks:
- 836
- Hits:
- 40,200
Bookmarked by Fwufferson
02 Sep 2021
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After a millennia of waiting, Merlin finally finds Arthur once again.
Only, he's not exactly what Merlin expects.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,112
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Comments:
- 349
- Kudos:
- 1,020
- Bookmarks:
- 189
- Hits:
- 8,903
Bookmarked by Fwufferson
28 Feb 2021
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Summary
Taken without him noticing
Bookmarked by Fwufferson
27 Feb 2021
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Bookmarked by Fwufferson
30 Dec 2020
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- Words:
- 3,542
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 19
Bookmarked by Fwufferson
11 Dec 2020
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When Merlin blows up his office (entirely by accident), he has to move into Arthur's office. Arthur is not amused. Oh, and then there's a new tenure position announced. It all ends a bit differently than Arthur imagined.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,221
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 137
- Kudos:
- 2,070
- Bookmarks:
- 524
- Hits:
- 35,042
Bookmarked by Fwufferson
23 Nov 2020
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Midshipman Percival Troyes watches his fellow sailors reunite with their loved ones after nine months on the HMS Albion.
Bookmarked by Fwufferson
16 Oct 2020
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Summary
Midshipman Percival Troyes watches his fellow sailors reunite with their loved ones after nine months on the HMS Albion.
Bookmarked by Fwufferson
16 Oct 2020
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Summary
Arthur knows for a fact, in that tiny kitchen at a quarter to three, after who knows how many cups of coffee, that he will never love another human so much as this.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,542
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 107
- Kudos:
- 788
- Bookmarks:
- 156
- Hits:
- 6,073
Bookmarked by Fwufferson
13 Sep 2020
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Rupert, Amir, Joan, Cecily, and Percy Jr. all agree to set up a Dungeons and Dragons campaign when they head off to college. What could possibly go wrong?
(Rated M for inappropriate responses, violence, etc., and Choose Not to Warn for unpredictability in terms of dice rolls.)
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,467
- Chapters:
- 1/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 6
- Kudos:
- 14
- Bookmarks:
- 3
- Hits:
- 116
Bookmarked by Fwufferson
10 Sep 2020
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- Words:
- 2,036
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 7
Bookmarked by Fwufferson
12 Aug 2020
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- Words:
- 9,243
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 78
Bookmarked by Fwufferson
24 Jul 2020
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- Words:
- 53,403
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 37
Bookmarked by Fwufferson
17 Jul 2020
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Summary
Arthur loves Merlin more than anything in the world, all he wants is to show that love and be able to cherish it.
Written for the prompt: kisses at nightBookmarked by Fwufferson
15 Jun 2020