Nucci



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    The reboot completes, and Wei Ying’s brain smashes this information together into two mind-shattering thoughts. Number one, he knew very well already, and is now further seared by defined muscles and a mouth-watering tattoo into his every waking moment: Lan Zhan is the hottest fucking person on the planet.

    Number two: that guy wasn’t visiting Lan Zhan’s neighbour, he was visiting Lan Zhan, which means:

    Lan Zhan fucks.
    Lan Zhan fucks.
    Lan Zhan fucks.

    ;

    Lan Zhan has been Wei Ying's best friend for years. Literally, years. How did he not already know? How has he missed this most important of facts? And more importantly, how is he ever going to get over it?

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    05 Jun 2026

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    “Did we meet right before whatever landed me in the Cloud Recesses?” he asked, hopefully. “I don’t remember any intention of coming around for a nice visit, did I hit my head?”

    The youths exchanged glances, and proceeded to dash his newly raised hopes in the weirdest fashion possible.

    “You live here,” said the loud one, with exaggerated patience.

    “Bullshit.”

    In which an amnesiac Wei Wuxian concludes from the available evidence that he's been forced into a sham marriage, and acts accordingly.

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    03 Jun 2026

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    The good news is that Lan Jingyi has found a mentor, friend, and constant companion through the difficulties in life.

    The bad news is that that’s because he’s been accidentally possessed by the Yiling Patriarch.

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    03 Jun 2026

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    "Fine," Wen Qing says, turning back to Wei Ying. "You're pregnant."

    Lan Zhan feels his mouth drop open and has to work to shut it.

    Wei Ying reacts not at all. He's swinging his feet where he's sitting on the table, a bored expression on his face.

    Wen Qing just looks at him. "I am not joking about that."

    Wei Ying stops swinging his feet. He blinks several times in a row. "Wait," he says.

    Or:

    I woke up at 3AM and sent myself an email that just said:

     

    Modern cultivation friends curse sexy pollen hook up desperate WWX gets pregnant

     

    And then I wrote it. In three weeks. IDK.

    Please note: I am more than certain there is a western bent to this fic, unfortunately, particularly around the cultivation angle, and I wish I could have done better with that aspect of it.

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    02 Jun 2026

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    Wei Ying has been feeling like a grey, wrung-out, mildewed dishrag for a week when Lan Zhan slopes in from a trip to the store looking blank-faced and awkward and sets a pregnancy test down on the kitchen counter.

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    02 Jun 2026