1 - 20 of 805 Bookmarks by Pale_Blue
Navigation
List of Bookmarks
-
jack of all trades, master of some by Anonymous
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
03 Jul 2026
Tags
Summary
Shane likes to think of himself cross-sected and splayed open like a surgical diorama with pins in all the important parts. This is the part that causes the specimen to respond to anger, fear, hurt, love, with tears. This is the part that sometimes feels a little better after throwing up. This is the part that likes anal sex. This is the part that processes social interactions. See how it’s atrophied and dysfunctional?
He likes thinking about that sometimes, too. About every part of him being located somewhere along his genome, or pieced together like plastic organs in a 7th grade biology model all crammed in but only if assembled in the right sequence. Like the things that are wrong with him are traceable to something concrete that he can blame. The shape of his eyes? From his mom. Athleticism? From his dad. Being maybe gay? Probably a mutation. Definitely not supposed to be there.
-
Essentially, how Shane Hollander learns to be a man.Series
- Part 3 of restgently's hollanov
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,427
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 10
- Kudos:
- 102
- Bookmarks:
- 22
- Hits:
- 964
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
21 Jul 2026
-
Tags
Summary
Ilya was a lot like his mama. Blond curls, bumpy noses, sharp cheekbones.
They both loved to dance around the kitchen and cook for the people they loved. They joked and laughed and when they were happy, their smiles shone.
They were both very, very sad.
Ilya saw his mama in everything. Especially himself.
or,
Ilya goes through a depressive episode. Shane helps.
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
20 Jul 2026
-
Tags
Summary
Ilya’s not stupid. Ilya is a fucking hockey prodigy who talked circles around everyone on his team in Russia — some coaches included — with his ideas for strategy and different plays. But all the words from back then are useless to him here, and the words he has at his disposal now don’t do justice to a single thing he wants to say.
Ilya and the English language, through the years.
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
20 Jul 2026
-
back between villages by madomtomlinson
Fandoms: Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
13 Jul 2026
Tags
Summary
Haasy
a few days ago he said he missed home.
he said he couldn't focus because his mind was on death.
not like in a suicidal way!
i don't think so, at least.
he was feeling nostalgic.
he said, "haasy, i think i am going back home."
Or, Ilya is having a mental health crisis and goes missing.
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
16 Jul 2026
-
Tags
Summary
And yeah, Shane knew that Ilya hadn’t been okay last time he was in Russia, but Ilya had had the very real excuse of a funeral to blame things on. Ilya had downplayed it as much as he could, and Shane hadn’t been there, he’d heard the fatigue and he’d seen Ilya’s tired smile, but he hadn’t felt the way Ilya’s hands were cold the entire time he was there, hadn’t seen through the screen the way Ilya dropped eight pounds in three weeks, hadn’t kept time when there were twenty hours in Ilya’s day instead of something closer to sixteen. Or, on the flip side, for the week or two after, when there had been approximately ten conscious hours in a day.
It was one thing to see something. It was another to feel it in your hands.
Ilya and Shane are so, so happy for their first year married. They’re playing in Ottawa together, they’re fucking winning, they’re together and out.
So now, after a year, Ilya should be fine. He should be great. He should not be flinching at small noises or nearly punching people off the clock or feeling like he’s drowning whenever he’s not on the ice.
Or: Ilya Rozanov, meet your PTSD.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 58,246
- Chapters:
- 13/13
- Comments:
- 701
- Kudos:
- 1,380
- Bookmarks:
- 558
- Hits:
- 37,496
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
15 Jul 2026
-
Snickers Bar by MovingUpAndDownAgain
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
08 Jul 2026
Tags
Summary
On a bad mental health morning, Ilya is haunted by an instance of past cruelty. Shane guides him back to the present and tries to make it right.
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
09 Jul 2026
-
Tags
Summary
They may not have any idea how to do it, but there’s no way in hell the Montreal Metros are going to risk losing their Captain to a more accepting team. Full of determination, grit, open hearts, and absolutely no savvy, this team is going to learn how to be allies, come hell or high water.
Hayden: did anyone do the optional inclusivity training last season?
J.J. Boizeau: no
Lawrence Olsson: no
Gilbert Comeau: no
Petro Andropov: no
Matty Wilson: no
Cam Stedlund: no
Albert Schneider: no
Aleks Miitka: no
Georges Gagnon: no
Patrice Drapeau: no
Hayden: excellent, we’re nailing this so far- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,730
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 16
- Comments:
- 2,250
- Kudos:
- 18,168
- Bookmarks:
- 3,571
- Hits:
- 110,666
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
08 Jul 2026
-
eating me alive by 87srivalry
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
28 Jun 2026
Tags
Summary
It used to be Ilya encouraging Shane to eat but now the Canadian was eating double what the Russian would have daily, if not more.
Shane was beating himself up, trying to come to any conclusion of why his husband was eating less and less.
They lay in bed one night, cuddling closely, when Shane got the courage to ask.
Series
- Part 23 of hot boys have stomach issues
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
01 Jul 2026
-
Tags
Summary
Cliff Marleau ✅ @bostonsmarleau
Happy birthday to the sexiest, finest, most scrumptious man I’ve ever met. I miss him and his fat ass every day. Sometimes I can still hear his voice.💬 29.3K 🔄 248.6K ❤️ 530.3K
Ilya Rozanov ✅ @rozanov81
marly i’m not fucking deadShane Hollander ✅ @shanehollander24
STOP CALLING MY HUSBAND’S ASS FAT(Twitter celebrates Ilya’s birthday!)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,175
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 93
- Kudos:
- 3,284
- Bookmarks:
- 413
- Hits:
- 15,173
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
30 Jun 2026
-
Tags
Summary
The Hockey Buzz ✅ @HockeyBuzzOfficial
[BREAKING] Text messages from the Boston Raiders' group chat during the years 2014–2016 have been leaked online earlier this morning. The messages, which appear to be from captain Ilya Rozanov’s phone, contain inappropriate, scandalous, and sexually explicit content. The Raiders' management has yet to issue a statement.Screenshots from the group chat can be accessed in the full article below. Reader discretion is advised.
———
Jane
Okay, I read through that article. Mostly to see how bad it was and how much damage control needs to be done
And can I just say…
Baby, I love you and I trust you. And I know you love me too
But what the everliving fuck goes on in your team group chat(the raiders vs. modern texting etiquette)
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
30 Jun 2026
-
strawberry toothpaste and all the ways to say i love you by dayfly
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV)
24 Apr 2026
Tags
Summary
Being a good father and a good husband turned out not to require anything extraordinary. All Ilya had to do was hold his son upright while he cried. Reach for his husband’s hand when everything else felt fragile enough to break. Explaining why. Explaining it again. Apologizing when he was wrong, and let himself be forgiven, too.
Stay—especially on the days when staying felt like a decision he had already, once, been afraid he might not make.
Do it again tomorrow.
And tomorrow, Ilya learned, was no longer frightening when it looked back at him through brown eyes.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 42,061
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 137
- Kudos:
- 1,114
- Bookmarks:
- 334
- Hits:
- 22,786
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
29 Jun 2026
-
Tags
Summary
Shane deals with loving someone who's depressed.
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
25 Jun 2026
-
A Soft Small Body by CatGrass
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
21 Jun 2026
Tags
Summary
Ilya honestly doesn't remember much for the next few weeks. He remembers waking up, occasionally, his body and their bed empty. The sun high and Shane's side of the bed cold. He remembers watching the sheets change color under the moving sun. He remembers not really caring. He remembers apple slices, left on his bedside table with sweet notes he cannot recall. He remembers nibbling on one and feeling the honeyed tang of it spill over his dry mouth.
Ilya remembers Shane's arms around his waist and his chest pressed against his back. He remembers Shane whispering “I love you” like it means ‘I miss you.’
Ilya misses him too.
(Or, After a depressive episode, Ilya has to change his meds, his new ones give him sexual dysfunction. Everyone (mostly Ilya) has some Feelings about this. Shane comes up with a creative solution to make Ilya feel better.)
Series
- Part 4 of Sub Top Ilya Week 2026
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,652
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 17
- Kudos:
- 295
- Bookmarks:
- 44
- Hits:
- 4,166
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
22 Jun 2026
-
Tags
Summary
(16. Morning, 742 words) TW: depression
--Mornings are sometimes particularly hard for Ilya. He’s never explained why to Shane, but the longer they’re together, the more Shane sees without asking.
He sees the way Ilya sometimes lies there, unmoving, staring at the ceiling long before the alarm goes off. He sees the distance in his gaze. The longing. The slight trembling in his hands. He sees the way Ilya will turn away from him so he doesn’t notice the sheen to his eyes, that he’s starting to cry. That his chest is heavy and that he’s carrying a weight that’s not his to bear. That Ilya doesn’t know how to fix it; that he thinks something is wrong with him.
Shane sees every crack in his armor and loves him all the same.
Series
- Part 28 of hollanov microfics collection
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
17 Jun 2026
-
Tags
Summary
He’s lucky that he has enough money from his savant career to pay other people to handle his bullshit, because he doesn’t think he could do it alone.
The water is deep. Shane calls for help.
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
16 Jun 2026
-
grey november by roxykris
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
15 Jun 2026
Tags
Summary
Ilya is four days into what he will not call anything, and Shane is bad at this, and neither of them is going to say so. It's late November, Ottawa is grey, and Shane drives forty minutes he'll never admit to because something about the last phone call didn't sit right.
Series
- Part 16 of heated rivalry sickfics
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
16 Jun 2026
-
eating plums in the night by Ginevra_Benci
Fandoms: Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
11 Jun 2026
Tags
Summary
Ilya Grigorievich Rozanov isn't much of a reader. But his first spring in Ottawa, watching playoffs happen to other people, he finds he has time on his hands.
It's probably his luck, that the first book he picks up might be about him.
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
11 Jun 2026
-
Please, God, I'm finally loved by 17darwinism
Fandom Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
01 Mar 2026
Summary
What happens when you're faced with the reality that love is not always enough to keep everyone going?
Set post The Long Game (book 6).
TW for suicide, descriptions of suicidal thoughts, depression.- Words:
- 44,275
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 741
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
08 Jun 2026
-
Tags
Summary
He’s standing across from Ilya in his kitchen. Their feet are almost touching, Ilya’s in black socks that Shane also has multiple pairs of, Shane’s in his favourite soft striped ones. The rain is getting louder outside, moving from a drizzle to a downpour. And Ilya is looking at him like he loves him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,252
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 585
- Kudos:
- 8,083
- Bookmarks:
- 2,401
- Hits:
- 93,712
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
07 Jun 2026
-
Tags
Summary
The thing about Raiders was that they were all unhelpful assholes, and this quality only got enhanced with alcohol. Indistinct bass made faint words further indiscernible as St. Simon presumably made his way through whatever club him and his teammates had decided to hole up in for the moment.
“St. Simon?” Scott called, and predictably got no answer. He rolled his eyes, let his head thump back against the brick. The motion jostled Roz out of his half-doze, and he blearily picked his head up.
“I hate your team,” Scott told him.
Rozanov blinked at him.Or, Ilya gets roofied at a club and accidentally comes out to Scott Hunter in the process.
Bookmarked by Pale_Blue
05 Jun 2026