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“So,” John says amiably, having waited a collegial three drinks to ask about it. “The bus thing.”
Jack takes a pull from his beer, his mouth shining. “So,” he says, raising his eyebrows. “Nakatomi Towers.”
Bookmarked by SofaSeduction
11 Dec 2025
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Maybe it's the intrigue — of the man, of the night, of the fact that Listers considering this at all. He eyes the shoes, the beige hem of pants sticking out the bottom of the coat, the way the guy stands like he's chained in front of a firing squad. The fake moustache that is absolutely going to fall off his face if it doesn't just slowly inch its way down to his neck like a live caterpillar first.
Lister idly nods. "What's your name?"
The man thinks for a moment.
"Todhunter. Christopher Todhunter. Superior officer."
Lister nods again, not believing it for one second.
"Not cheap," He says, rocking slightly on his heels, "Half now, half later."
OR, Lister gets mistaken for a mysterious man of the night and might just take someone up on it.
Bookmarked by SofaSeduction
02 Dec 2025
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Once upon a time, the Captain had felt left behind when Havers had gone to the front and flourished as an officer. Now, he is now feeling left behind again as Havers flourishes in his afterlife whilst the Captain struggles to settle.
Is this a battle they can win as allies, or will married life prove too much?
A sequel to War Is Over (If You Want Me)
[PLAYLIST]Series
- Part 5 of The Afterlife Series
Bookmarked by SofaSeduction
15 Apr 2025
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There he is. Anthony Havers, frozen in time. He's handsome, more handsome than he's ever been if that's even possible. The Captain's stomach does a flip. His sandy-brown hair is slicked neatly to the side, unveiling that glorious scar that darts through his eyebrow and down his cheek. His deep brown eyes are pooled with an array of emotions, just like they were in 1945. He's a remarkable image of that very day, across the grounds with that same quiet look of surprise, like he can't give too much away. He stares at the Captain like a deer in headlights.
"Anthony..." James whispers on approach. His heart hurts again.
"James..." Anthony responds, his parted lips forming into the most tender smile he's ever seen.
(As the Captain grapples with his pain, Havers returns to Button House a decade later to confess his sins.
Or,
Havers has become a ghost and we get the angsty reunion we've all been waiting for.)
Bookmarked by SofaSeduction
30 Mar 2025
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blue as cut sapphires and shining like gold by suchgreatheights
Fandom Our Flag Means Death (TV)
02 Apr 2026
- Words:
- 511,112
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 156
Bookmarked by SofaSeduction
21 Apr 2023
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Only once they were out of sight of the café did the man stop and take his arm away, giving Stede a sheepish little grin. “Looked like you needed rescuing back there,” he said, and then held out his free hand. “I’m Ed.”
Stede, still a little dumbfounded, grasped Ed’s hand in a weak shake. “Stede. Stede Bonnet. I’ll pay you back for the tea, I promise. I get paid next week.”
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A modern AU where Ed saves Stede from embarrassment in a café, and then suddenly accidental sugar daddy happens. This is a prompt fill from the OFMD kink meme, the fic is all complete and a new chapter will be posted weekly.
ETA: A podfic version of this fic, read by the incomparable SD_Ryan, is available here!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 57,695
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 1,417
- Kudos:
- 1,792
- Bookmarks:
- 527
- Hits:
- 34,592
Bookmarked by SofaSeduction
20 Apr 2023
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Stede’s fingers curl in Ed’s shirt, the soft purple one he wore because he likes it best, because he wanted, more than anything, to be comfortable tonight. He’d thought it might help. Stede pulls him close. It should be nice, kissing. Ed fucking loves kissing Stede. He wants to love kissing Stede.
Stede’s mouth closes over his, and Ed can’t help it. He tries—he really does try to open his mouth, but he can’t quite make himself do it, and his lips purse, and Stede’s eyes snap open.
From the prompt: "Due to past experiences, Ed freezes, locks up, dissociates etc. during sexual encounters. His partners tend to read this as an “I’m getting bored, impress me” sort of demeanor, because the assumption is that if Blackbeard doesn’t like what’s going on, Blackbeard will very much Let You Know. In truth, Ed shuts down to the point where he’s effectively unable to stop what’s happening, and just autopilots through the bare minimum of whatever he needs to do in order to get the encounter over with as quickly as possible. It’s been a very long time since the sex he was having was sex he wanted. Lord knows he wants it with Stede. It’s just a question of how to manage it without setting off every alarm bell in his own brain."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,882
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 39
- Kudos:
- 453
- Bookmarks:
- 76
- Hits:
- 2,514
Bookmarked by SofaSeduction
20 Apr 2023
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The Widow Mary Bonnet has a life, and Stede Bonnet isn't part of it. They agreed. There was a leopard and everything.
Then again, Stede has a talent for disrupting plans—for instance, by turning up on your doorstep in the dead of night with a bleeding pirate who turns out to be his beloved Ed.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 33,737
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Comments:
- 1,145
- Kudos:
- 3,465
- Bookmarks:
- 744
- Hits:
- 60,535
Bookmarked by SofaSeduction
19 Apr 2023
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Summary
The woman adjusts her grip on her gun. “No men,” she says, clearly.
Oh, fuck this. Ed's leg is aching from standing around. He's not about to turn around, walk back to shore and camp out on the dunes, waiting for their ship to return when there’s a perfectly nice house he owns in spitting distance. And he doesn’t take kindly to people pointing guns at Stede!
“Says who?” he growls.
“Our mayor. Anna Teach.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,167
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 150
- Kudos:
- 404
- Bookmarks:
- 123
- Hits:
- 4,525
Bookmarked by SofaSeduction
10 Apr 2023
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Sailors call them watermarks. A gift from the sea, a name or symbol written on your chest, meant to guide you to your own true love.
But Stede Bonnet's mark doesn't look like anything at all. Not really. And it certainly doesn't look like 'Edward' or 'Teach' or 'Blackbeard' or a black beard and that's fine. Completely fine.
Ed's absolutely fine with it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 39,122
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Comments:
- 1,106
- Kudos:
- 4,777
- Bookmarks:
- 1,223
- Hits:
- 56,967
Bookmarked by SofaSeduction
10 Apr 2023
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Bookmarked by SofaSeduction
09 Apr 2023
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In which Stede is astonished by the existence of buttfucking, and Ed really needs a cup of tea.
Bookmarked by SofaSeduction
09 Apr 2023
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Summary
Ed agrees to go camping with Stede even though he's pretty sure he's going to hate it. And he does. Until he doesn't.
Series
- Part 1 of Smutty Gentlebeard AU one shots
Bookmarked by SofaSeduction
02 Apr 2023
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Summary
They’ve used the pieces separately - the handcuffs attached to the headboard of the bed, the ball gag, the blindfold - but not all at the same time. Stede also has the noise canceling headphones out, which they haven’t used before. Ed, always impatient, is equal parts maddened and infatuated by how much Stede likes to tease him. And now Stede wants to, quote, “Take him apart from the inside out.”
Kinktober Day 8 - Rimming/Praise Kink
Series
- Part 9 of OFMD Kinktober
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,366
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 23
- Kudos:
- 244
- Bookmarks:
- 18
- Hits:
- 1,834
Bookmarked by SofaSeduction
02 Apr 2023
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Summary
He’d hardly undone one button on his waistcoat when a tentative knock sounded on the cabin door. He walked back to open it, expecting to see Lucius with another complaint about Wee John’s snoring. Instead, he found Ed, standing tense and uncertain a few feet back from the doorway.
“Oh, hello, Ed! Need something?” he asked.
Ed just stared at him.
“Erm, you alright?”
“Uh,” Ed said. He blinked. “Um. Can you get these bows out of my beard?”
Ed tries again.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,134
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 86
- Kudos:
- 786
- Bookmarks:
- 108
- Hits:
- 4,017
Bookmarked by SofaSeduction
29 Mar 2023
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An Extremely Fun, Memorable, Deeply Cool Adventure by alsaurus
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
10 May 2022
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Summary
Edward might be the one with the experience, but Stede is the one with the imagination.
OR
Stede invents cocksucking. Ed is scandalized and intrigued.
Bookmarked by SofaSeduction
28 Mar 2023
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Summary
Stede has an interest in watching Ed hook-up with someone else; Frenchie is happy to oblige.
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“See, thing is, I don’t really know you,” Frenchie tries to explain. “In, like, a personal way. I don’t really go dancing dick-to-dick with guys I’ve not had a one-to-one with, y’know?”
“I think so…”
“Like a chat. I’d just wanna check that I like you in that way. Don’t wanna go sharing the good stuff around with just anyone.” He does kinda want this to happen, so goes for a charming smile. Ed blinks a little and, oh, shit, does Ed actually, genuinely, really think he’s cute? Sweet.
That’s pretty fucking flattering actually.
Series
- Part 9 of Frenchie FuckFest 2022
Bookmarked by SofaSeduction
23 Mar 2023
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Summary
Day 12: Cock warming
Series
- Part 12 of OFMD Kinktober 2022
Bookmarked by SofaSeduction
16 Mar 2023
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Summary
Ed argued with a worried Stede that it was important Stede learn to duel against different people because different people use different tactics, and Fang and Ivan have different fighting styles than Ed does.
Which is a good, sensible reason for letting them teach duelling, but it’s not the real reason.
The real reason is that Ed can’t take another one-on-one duelling lesson with Stede that doesn’t end with him surrendering to a sweaty, dishevelled Stede, whose shirt has fallen open at the collar, and begging Stede to have his way with him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,928
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 80
- Kudos:
- 864
- Bookmarks:
- 87
- Hits:
- 6,332
Bookmarked by SofaSeduction
11 Mar 2023
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Summary
Ed has been nude modelling for five years. He's seen enough sketches of himself from every angle to know his body better than any lover has ever known it. He's reached a point in his career where he believes that he's seen everything that the artists sketching him have to offer.
That is until he meets Stede Bonnet, who draws his scars into constellations and makes them worth looking at.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 38,670
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 554
- Kudos:
- 1,138
- Bookmarks:
- 313
- Hits:
- 12,700
Bookmarked by SofaSeduction
10 Mar 2023