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“I don’t want it to look like anyone else,” Chris had said, not quite looking Felix in the eye like he was afraid to. “I want it to look like you.”
Felix hadn’t understood it then, seventeen and too scared to think straight.
He does now. Because he can live with this, if it comes in the shape of his Chris.
They've gotten this far. Even if he starts seeing that thing again, Felix won't break. Chris always makes sure of it; stitches him back together at the seams when they start to fray.
- Language:
- English
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Bookmarked by fefffffi
28 Jun 2026
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Felix has spent years falling asleep in Chan's arms and pretending it doesn't mean everything. It was never a very convincing lie.
Bookmarked by fefffffi
27 Jun 2026
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Felix tells himself that there’s comfort in being alone. What he really finds comfort in is his HUGE crush on Chan, the leader of the 3-person group Racha. And writing fanfics about Chan.
Chan doesn’t always have enough moments to himself, but when he does, he reads fanfic. He prefers the cozy kind that allows him to dream of a love he never had the time to find.
Bookmarked by fefffffi
15 Jun 2026
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As Felix observes their rings, he wishes there was a more permanent way for the two of them to declare their affection and commitment towards each other in a subtle way that didn’t bring too much attention. Suddenly, Felix is struck with a stupid and reckless idea.
“We should get tattoos.” He says, raising his head to rest his chin on his husband’s pecks.
“What?”
“I said we should get matching tattoos,” Felix reiterates, fully leaning up on his elbows to look down at his husband. “It can be our small way of showing the world what we are to each other.”
Felix and Chan have two weeks off in Australia and come back with interesting tattoos.
Bookmarked by fefffffi
14 Jun 2026
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Felix is no tragedy.
At least that’s what he tells himself when unfamiliar hands touch, when money trades, when men whisper sweet nothings that don’t belong to him.
He’s not broken, just repurposed. Beautiful in the way something has to be when it’s already been destroyed once.
Then Chris walks in — too gentle for this place, too honest to belong there — and asks Felix who he is beneath all that shine.
Felix has survived every kind of love that hurts. He’s not sure he remembers the kind that doesn’t.
or: Where Felix sells the illusion of desire and Chris reminds him what it means to be seen.Bookmarked by fefffffi
11 Jun 2026