puplander



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  1. Public Bookmark *

    Don't you ever come back by

    Fandoms: Supernatural  

    22 Jan 2026

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    Summary

    "Why? You gonna hate me any less? Am I gonna hate myself any less?"
    "You'll never punish me as much as I'm punishing myself"

    Set after 5.04 The end.
    .
    .
    .
    “Sam”
    His brother’s voice put his brain’s self-pity party on hiatus.
    “Yeah?”
    Dean looked at him with a little concern and another expression he couldn’t quite place. “You okay, man?”
    Again, Sam almost laughed. “Yeah, I’m fine”

    He's not. He's really not.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    43,924
    Chapters:
    16/?
    Comments:
    212
    Kudos:
    1,064
    Bookmarks:
    252
    Hits:
    26,539
    Bookmarked by puplander

    05 Jul 2026

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  2. Public Bookmark 45

    it all comes down to you, my love by

    Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005)  

    20 Jan 2026

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    Summary

    Dean’s feet are too slow, take too much time to put one after the other, and by the time he gets to the station door Sam has a loaded shotgun in his hands. It looks weightless.

    The boy doesn’t hesitate. He had stopped hesitating with shots long, long ago, even before Jess. Dean had taught him well through all those years of training. Sam points it beneath his chin, fingertip curling around the trigger, and squeezes.

    The animal in Dean’s chest lets out a howl so loud and broken he doesn’t realize it’s coming from his throat. He is running, running, and as always he is too late, too fucking late.

    Or: A small exploration of Sam's experiences with blood (others and his own) and the fact that Lucifer won't let him die.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,208
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    263
    Bookmarks:
    45
    Hits:
    1,924
    Bookmarked by puplander

    04 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark 20

    Anything Is Better Than Nothing by

    Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005)  

    22 Mar 2026

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    Summary

    No Sam could care less, because something, anything, was better than nothing.

    That’s when an idea crossed his mind. Sam was sick of this nothingness that had engulfed his life, this utter indifference to everything, he was tired of it and was going to replace that nothing with anything else.

    Standing up, Sam made his way over to the bathroom, grabbing his hunting knife from his duffle as he went.
    --
    OR Sam has been plagued with this feeling of being tired and numb for a long time, he decides to take matters into his own hands

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,789
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    109
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    963
    Bookmarked by puplander

    04 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 24

    Nights Like These by

    Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005)  

    02 Mar 2026

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    Summary

    One time Sam got away with it, and one time Dean talked him out of it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,043
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    146
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    1,630
    Bookmarked by puplander

    04 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 3

    vomit-inducing, curdling by

    Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005)  

    13 Apr 2026

    Tags
    Summary

    In the bathroom, there is nothing stopping Sam from dissolving himself in self-hate.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,642
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Kudos:
    24
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    255
    Bookmarked by puplander

    03 Jul 2026