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Lucifer was haunting Sam more and more every passing day. At first, he could make him go away by pressing his hand into the cut on his palm, like Dean showed him. But as time went on, as his hand healed…it didn’t work so well anymore.
Sam resorts to more drastic measures in order to get Lucifer out of his head.
Bookmarked by puplander
06 Jul 2026
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Ripping your skin apart to put it back like patchwork by tenshavingatime
Fandoms: Supernatural (TV 2005)
26 Oct 2025
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Sam looks down at his hand and frowns. The cut on his hand is almost fully scarred over, after almost two months. He’s been worried about how he’ll get rid of Lucifer once he can no longer shock himself back into reality. Already it’s starting to have less affect, seeing how it’s less painful now as the open tissue becomes less and less.
Then a vampire cuts his arm open, nice and long.
Bookmarked by puplander
06 Jul 2026
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"Why? You gonna hate me any less? Am I gonna hate myself any less?"
"You'll never punish me as much as I'm punishing myself"Set after 5.04 The end.
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“Sam”
His brother’s voice put his brain’s self-pity party on hiatus.
“Yeah?”
Dean looked at him with a little concern and another expression he couldn’t quite place. “You okay, man?”
Again, Sam almost laughed. “Yeah, I’m fine”He's not. He's really not.
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Dean’s feet are too slow, take too much time to put one after the other, and by the time he gets to the station door Sam has a loaded shotgun in his hands. It looks weightless.
The boy doesn’t hesitate. He had stopped hesitating with shots long, long ago, even before Jess. Dean had taught him well through all those years of training. Sam points it beneath his chin, fingertip curling around the trigger, and squeezes.
The animal in Dean’s chest lets out a howl so loud and broken he doesn’t realize it’s coming from his throat. He is running, running, and as always he is too late, too fucking late.
Or: A small exploration of Sam's experiences with blood (others and his own) and the fact that Lucifer won't let him die.
Bookmarked by puplander
04 Jul 2026
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No Sam could care less, because something, anything, was better than nothing.
That’s when an idea crossed his mind. Sam was sick of this nothingness that had engulfed his life, this utter indifference to everything, he was tired of it and was going to replace that nothing with anything else.
Standing up, Sam made his way over to the bathroom, grabbing his hunting knife from his duffle as he went.
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OR Sam has been plagued with this feeling of being tired and numb for a long time, he decides to take matters into his own handsBookmarked by puplander
04 Jul 2026
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One time Sam got away with it, and one time Dean talked him out of it.
Bookmarked by puplander
04 Jul 2026
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In the bathroom, there is nothing stopping Sam from dissolving himself in self-hate.
Bookmarked by puplander
03 Jul 2026
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No Angel will come down to punish him, so he’ll do it himself. Wound by wound, he will cut the evil out of himself.
Series
- Part 4 of Sam Winchester angst :(
Bookmarked by puplander
03 Jul 2026
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Sam has enough of Lucifer not letting him sleep, so he takes matters into his own hands.
Bookmarked by puplander
02 Jul 2026
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Dean is being a total jerk about eating disorder sufferers, with no idea that Sam's had an eating disorder for almost a decade.
Here's what happens when he finds out.
Bookmarked by puplander
02 Jul 2026
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in which sam's head is too fast for his body
(vent fic)
Bookmarked by puplander
02 Jul 2026
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When Dean tells him to walk away, he does it. There's nowhere to go this time. Sam should know better.
Bookmarked by puplander
01 Jul 2026
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Sam spared one final glance at the burnt ruins of his home. With his life gone, Sam wished for death.
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It wasn’t like Sam completely abandoned all food in an instant. Whether it was a life on the run, or life as a homeless college freshman; time, money, food, they had always been scarce. The only difference now, was that Sam had no tactical reason to limit his intake of food. He was just doing it. Deliberately.
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The very obvious factor Sam hadn’t accounted for was that losing weight was noticeable. Very noticeable.
“Sam, you are killing yourself.” Dean shouted, loud enough to make Sam flinch. “You are killing yourself, you see that? Tell me you see that.”
“Yeah, well, maybe I want to!”
Bookmarked by puplander
01 Jul 2026
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Despair, on the other hand, crept in quietly. First, it slithered in, hiding in the corners of his mind, but now it was an old friend. It stopped knocking and simply walked in.
Some mornings, he woke up and felt as if the world had already ended, and he missed it. He hated looking at his hands, knowing they were empty and failed at holding onto anything of value. He stopped fighting the cold; he didn’t have the strength to anymore. Instead, he let it sit beside him, lace its fingers with his, let it whisper that nothing could change, not really.Or: Sam reaches his breaking point. Dean catches him on the way down.
In the aftermath of panic, grief, and the same old motel-room silence, they fall back into the only pattern they’ve ever known.Bookmarked by puplander
01 Jul 2026
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Sam Winchester isn't eating right, not necessarily out of any ill desire. But, food simply refuses to work with him after the death of Jess, love of his life, Jessica Moore. Grief and stress do crazy things, don't they?
Bookmarked by puplander
01 Jul 2026
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"I know you don't trust me. I don't trust me either. The problem is me."
Sam tries to control the problem.
Sam POV. Canon divergence from when Sam leaves Dean at the end of S05E02.
Bookmarked by puplander
01 Jul 2026
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After Sam gets his soul back, things go down hill. Very fast.
Bookmarked by puplander
01 Jul 2026
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“That all depends. What would you be willing to do for me in exchange?”
The words are whispered demurely against his ear. Hughie goes rigid, blinking rapidly when he feels warm air shifting against his skin.
“What?”
“You’re so eager to offer your life,” Homelander counters, dragging his hand over the jut of Hughie’s elbow. “If you don’t actually mean it, how are you going to repay me for keeping you alive? What could you possibly have to offer?”
Bookmarked by puplander
29 Jun 2026
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spit out all your fears, let's become one (hughlander soulmate au) by theclownbehindtheslaughter
Fandom The Boys (TV 2019)
19 Apr 2025
- Words:
- 3,773
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 21
Bookmarked by puplander
28 Jun 2026
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A take on the storm drain scene, but Butcher doesn't step out in time to stop Starlight.
What might come after - and what might be exchanged for a second chance at life.
Bookmarked by puplander
28 Jun 2026