siyteefe
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Takes place before s08e04 "God Complex". Spencer has been consulting a certain geneticist about his headaches and some curious notes in his medical file bring the topic of his past substance abuse to light. He knew the subject would come up eventually, but he didn't think it would come up so soon. He worries it's a red flag that will surely destroy any semblance of a romantic connection that had started to develop between them. How will Dr. Maeve Donovan react?
(My intention is to make this a multi-chapter fic covering Reid's struggle to resist relapse in the lead up and aftermath of s08e12 "Zugzwang". Will add tags accordingly)
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After Rossi's cooking lesson, tensions are still running high between a few team members. When Spencer and JJ resume their discussion from the previous day, Hotch gets involved and complicates things a little more, maybe too much.
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An extended look at s08ep17 “The Gathering” after Reid’s failed attempt at talking down an unsub and the team’s concern about what he said. *Dialogue pulled directly from the episode through “To me, this is very clearly about Maeve”.
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When the team goes out for an evening of fun, the venue stirs up some bad memories and bad company for Dr. Spencer Reid. WARNINGS: mentions of past drug use
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The urge to do it again is there, like a daily reminder, reminding him of the people he hurt, of the pain he deserved. This time he resists. He doesn’t want to disappoint JJ. But it’s only a matter of time until he’s too tired to fight the thoughts. Until he is too tired to fight for himself.
What scares him the most are the times when cutting doesn’t satisfy his urges, when it doesn’t help the way it should, despite how deep he goes and how many times he does it. He tries not to let his thoughts go this way but sometimes he can’t stop it and that scares him, because what is he capable of when he lets these thoughts be thought? He wants it, knowing he shouldn’t. It’s not his first time thinking about the ‘easy way out’.
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What happens after Spencer Reid is released from prison and pushes away the people he needs the most in times like these?
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18 Dec 2022