Chapter Text
Anakin leaned his shoulder against the doorway of the mess hall, arms crossed and head slightly cocked. The scene before him ignited the sort of dull helplessness which tended to become an acute and piercing anger. His Clones sat, stooped, rather, along the long white tables, silent. Some, who had managed to secure a seat nearest the walls, were resting, backs propped slightly back against the wall, their heads uncomfortably lolling back, and their mouths gaped wide open. Those who couldn’t turn a wall into a makeshift pillow either rested their heads on the table or simply looked around, apathetically. The exhaustion was palpable and weighed heavy on Anakin.
The mess hall, before morale had been forcibly extracted from the 501st after months of endless battles and campaigns with what felt like little progress, had historically been a place of lewdness, loudness, and borderline chaos. In other words, it had been Anakin’s favorite place to frequent. Before him, now, he saw nothing but evidence of a pointless and seemingly never-ending war prolonged by the pretentiousness of Senators who all wanted the credit of ingenuity. He hated this.
The dull ache of annoyance was fully blooming into a seething anger. Anakin righted himself from the doorway, did an about face, and stormed to his quarters. He pounded the passcode into his personal holotable and set about trying to connect to Obi-Wan. He didn’t pick up. He must be busy, Anakin thought. He sat a second, staring pensively at the holotable, debating if he should try back later, before shrugging and trying again.
After the 4th attempt, Obi-Wan’s holographic figure appeared. His face was calm, but his eyes gave away a slight twinge of concern and his usual thoughtful pose, arms crossed with one hand up stroking his bearded chin, was nowhere to be found. He was clad only in his tunic and pants, and there was no utility belt around his waist. His hair wasn’t parted neatly and a few strands were loose and draped across his forehead. Was he bunking down for the night already?
“Yes, hello…Anakin, is everything alright?” Obi-Wan asked, slightly breathless.
“Hello, Master,” Anakin replied.
After a slight pause and a narrowing of the eyes, Obi-Wan said, voice slightly higher in pitch, “Hello? Please tell me that there is an actual reason, apart from exchanging pleasantries with me, that you holo’ed me four times in ten minutes?” Obi-Wan didn’t sound particularly pleased with him. What else was new?
“Well…” Anakin hesitated. Obi-Wan raised his eyebrows expectedly, waiting. The younger Jedi had been trying to holo Obi-Wan for so long and had ultimately been consumed with confusion as to why his call was not being immediately answered. It seemed that he had forgotten the reason he had originally called in the first place. Kriff. Anakin glanced sideways into the hallway outside of his open quarters door and saw a Clone moping slowly by, arms hanging and boots almost shuffling. Right.
“Well, Master. Morale over here is low. Exhaustion is high. None of this is fair and I’m not sure how much longer we can fight our hardest,” Anakin blurted, “I don’t know how much more any of us have to give and I don’t know what to do and…” He stopped himself from going on, suddenly self-aware at how he was beginning to teeter toward what Obi-Wan referred to as, “drama.”
There was a beat of silence before Obi-Wan resumed his signature thoughtful pose, but instead of stroking his beard, his hand had wandered up to the bridge of his nose where it now pinched and pushed trying to relieve the pressure that had been growing all week.
“I can’t say it’s any different over here. And while I thought we had established long ago that fairness isn’t always guaranteed in this galaxy,” Obi-Wan said pointedly, “I am inclined to agree with you that our situation is unsustainable. We are all quite overdue for shore leave.”
Shore leave. Anakin immediately thought of Padme. Their bed. Sleeping in past dawn, morning breath that wasn’t disgusting because it was hers, and the weight of her sinking into the mattress beside him. He needed shore leave. Now.
“I’m going to call the Council right now and demand that it’s granted to us…immediately,” Anakin said.
“Are you calling them immediately or are you going to demand shore leave immediately upon calling them later? The Council isn’t even in session,” Obi-Wan’s arms had unfolded and were now facing palm up, elbows by his side, in a stance of exhausted confusion.
“I don’t know,” Anakin fumed. It wasn’t like he had a plan. “All of the above!” He was sick of everybody just sitting around in marble skyscrapers just talking and talking. He wasn’t going to buy into this this bureaucratic kriffing nonsense. His troops needed a break and by Force he would deliver it without delay.
His hand reached to hang up the holocall, but Obi-Wan’s emphatic, “Anakin!” stopped him.
Obi-Wan, having gotten Anakin’s attention, continued, “Give me a day. Let me call in a few favors and write a few memos. However much you may disagree with protocol, it does exist and it would be in your best interest,” Obi-Wan sighed, “especially when requesting, not demanding, shore leave, to follow such protocol,” His clipped voice walked a thin line between patronizing and reassuring. His face softened. “You have a good heart, Anakin. Just remember to breathe. Your concern and attachment to your Clones is clouding your judgment. What will be, will be. Leave this to me and we will leave it to the will of the Force.”
Anakin let out a breath he didn’t realize that he had been holding before saying, “Yes, Master.”
Obi-Wan’s concern was visible as he regarded his former apprentice. Anakin was ashamed to admit to himself that perhaps calling, at this late hour especially, repeatedly for something like his troop’s morale might make him appear slightly…unhinged.
However unhinged his flurry of calls may have been, he still needed some clarification around a certain point of confusion.
“Why did it take you four calls to pick up, anyway?” Anakin pressed. “You always have your commlink on you. And you always pick up when I call.” Anakin leaned forward and jutted his jaw out accusatorily as if he could physically force the truth out of his Master who wasn’t even on the same ship.
Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. “I was indisposed.” There was a finality in his voice that Anakin disregarded.
“What were you doing that was so important?”
“Blazes, Anakin, am I not allowed to use the ‘fresher without your express permission? Shall I comm you next time I need to relieve myself?”
Anakin hadn’t been expecting his Master’s response. “Oh. Bye.” And he quickly ended the call. Awkward. His master never used the ‘fresher in the evening…
After a few days had passed, Obi-Wan had requested that both regimental entities, the 501stand 212th, hold a joint briefing for planning purposes. Anakin had his troops slip into the auditorium seating aboard the Resolute and they called into Obi-Wan’s holographic brief.
“Good evening, everybody.” Obi-Wan began, hands behind his ramrod straight back. “I’ll keep this short and to the point. Recently, we have received intelligence indicating that Separatist Forces are in the process of resupplying and regrouping. It stands to reason that they are unable to mount any offensive measures against us at this moment in time. It is for this reason that we have been granted five days of shore leave, to begin tomorrow morning, so that we may rest and recuperate after what has been a grueling few months. You all deserve this.” Thunderous applause erupted as the Clones looked around at each other excitedly.
Obi-Wan went on to explain the rules and expectations of shore leave and even displayed a holopresentation, complete with graphics, to ensure that there was no confusion about the definition of “professional conduct.” Anakin, in his excitement, heard none of it. All he could think about was Padme and how he would professionally conduct himself inside…around her.
“Are there any questions?” Obi-Wan asked.
Anakin realized suddenly that they were nowhere near Coruscant. “Where are we landing? Where are we even supposed to take this shore leave? We’re days out from Coruscant.” Anakin said, eyes slightly widening in panic.
“Oh Force, I apologize! I should have included that in my presentation. Thank you, General Skywalker. We will be landing on Alderaan. Senator Organa wants to thank you all personally and has kindly offered the use of his facilities for our use. What could be better than that?”
Padme’s apartment would be much better, Anakin thought, frustrated. He didn’t have enough time to reach out to her, have her take her own leave, and organize her travel to him. And besides, if she were to join him on Alderaan, the whole planet would be teeming with Clones…and Obi-Wan would be there and that alone would make things overwhelmingly difficult.
Anakin felt his teeth clench before he looked up and accidentally locked eyes with Obi-Wan who subtly tilted his head to one side, asking through the Force, “What’s wrong?”
“You are all dismissed. Remember: professionalism and good conduct. Good evening. General Skywalker, please stay on the call,” Obi-Wan requested as a sea of excited voices rose and the Clones began to quickly flow out of the rows of seats. The morale was tangibly better already. There was a light at the end of this dark, dark tunnel. Well, for the Clones anyway.
Anakin looked down again and slammed his shields shut as the auditorium emptied out. “You wished to speak with me, Master?” He asked, defeat lacing his words. He shifted slightly on his feet, feeling uncomfortable and like a young apprentice waiting for a lecture.
“Yes. What in the Force is the matter with you? A few days ago you were ready to stage a Jedi High Council mutiny to secure shore leave, and now we have it and you look as if a bantha chewed you up into bits and then shat you out.” Obi-Wan didn’t sound angry, per say. Just slightly…peeved. Anakin had a hard time taking Obi-Wan seriously when he got like this…he couldn’t help but picture himself in a large pile of bantha shit. How did Obi-Wan come up with this stuff?
Anakin couldn’t lie. But he also couldn’t tell the truth. “I was just excited to be home again, at the Temple.” Padme was his home, so from a certain point of view this was all entirely truthful.
Obi-Wan nodded in understanding before saying, “Anakin. A Jedi’s home is wherever we are dispatched. Pain from attachment can take many forms and, in this case, it’s here dampening your spirits on what could otherwise be happy news. Meditate and find peace in wherever you are.” He looked at Anakin, gave him a slight nod, and signed off from the holocall.
His Master wasn’t wrong. Anakin knew he should theoretically be happy at this moment, but as always, it just never felt enough. Padme was enough and now he couldn’t have her. And he didn’t just want Padme. He needed her. The young man sighed in frustration, flexing his hand open and closed into fists. Anakin was exhausted and he knew that he needed this shore leave, with or without Padme.
Maybe meditation would help, he thought as he meandered through the halls back to his quarters. His door slid open with a quiet hiss and the sight of his rolled-up meditation pad abandoned in the back corner of his living area elicited nothing but an annoyed glance. “Meditate and find peace,” he repeated to himself in his most mocking posh accent. Sure, Obi-wan, whatever, Anakin thought. He got ready to bunk down.
The Clones and their respective Jedi made their descent onto an Alderaanian landing pad by mid-morning. Anakin’s ship docked first and while his troops were disembarking personnel and gear, he took a moment to observe his immediate surroundings. Tall, white spires of buildings seemed to erupt out of a mountainous landscape. Normally capped in snow, currently the mountains looked lush and velvety coated in shades of green reserved for Alderaanian summer. The sky was picturesque and Anakin had forgotten how clouds could look so…fluffy. He couldn’t remember the last time he simply looked at the sky without fearing aerial attack. The view was simply breathtaking. His mother would have loved it here. He closed his eyes, willing the intrusive thoughts about his mother to flee.
Anakin took a deep breath in through his nose and was mindful of the freshness of the air, the moisture it carried. It was so much better than the dry coldness of hyperspace. He untucked his hands from his sleeves and let his robes drape open and he could feel the morning sun drenching him. Maybe things would turn out alright, he reluctantly thought while he opened his eyes.
“Anakin!” He turned toward the voice to spot a familiar face. Obi-Wan was striding towards him, his brown robe open and billowing behind him, a warm smile on his face. His normally tranquil Force signature was present, but so was an undercurrent of renewed energy. Obi-Wan apparently needed this shore leave as well. “This isn’t so bad now, is it?” He asked while clapping Anakin on the shoulder and giving it a friendly squeeze.
“Leave it to you to be excited by a landing pad,” Anakin joked good naturedly.
“Generals Skywalker and Kenobi!” Senator Bail Organa appeared, walking quickly along the bridge of the landing pad with two of his guard flanking him. “I cannot tell you how pleased I am to see you both!”
“Good morning, Senator Organa,” Obi-Wan beamed and bent into a bowed greeting toward his friend and confidante. Anakin followed in suit and after handshakes and pleasantries were exchanged, they began walking slowly across the platform toward the tall heavily mirrored buildings that would serve as accommodations during their stay.
“I hope that the quarters we have provided fit your needs and expectations,” said Senator Organa.
“Oh, please don’t fret. I am sure they are perfect,” Obi-Wan replied. “And besides, I have a lot of work to do. I won’t be requiring much as I sit through the onslaught of Council meetings. You know how it goes, I’m sure,” Obi-Wan said with a slight eye roll.
“Work? You’re on leave, General Kenobi. I truly hope that you allow yourself to get out. Get into the nature. See everything that Alderaan has to offer. In fact, I have brought with me an amazing opportunity for you and General Skywalker. It’s all the rage here.”
The three men stopped walked. Anakin’s interest was immediately piqued. Rage? Amazing opportunity? What else could he want? He glanced over at Obi-Wan, who seemed indifferent. Obi-Wan didn’t really seem to want to rage in the same way Anakin did.
Obi-Wan swooped in to politely squash any hopes Anakin had for a fun time. “Really, Bail, you don’t have to do any more than what you’ve already done. General Skywalker and I will find ways to entertain ourselves and I am sure that he has a few overdue reports that he will be much relieved to catch up on during our stay.”
Anakin felt his jaw drop. How did Obi-Wan manage to be so kriffing polite while also simultaneously throwing the two (or ten) overdue reports Anakin had to do in his face?
Anakin couldn’t let that go. “Thank you for your concern, General Kenobi, but Ahsoka is already working on them back at the Temple,” Anakin said. “So I do happen to have some availability for this opportunity that Senator Organa has so kindly arranged for us. Also, isn’t it considered impolite to refuse gifts given during diplomatic stays? At least, that is what I’ve taken away from your wise teachings, Master,” Anakin bowed his head in an outward form of respect toward his Master, but Obi-Wan sensed the sarcastic undertone behind the gesture.
Obi-Wan stared obviously formulating a tactful response and began to open his mouth to speak when an entertained Senator Organa quickly stepped in. “Allow me to tell you more before you make your final decision. These here,” he opened his hands to reveal two white pieces of flimsi, “are two tubing tickets for the Alderaan River. It takes about three standard hours. We provide the tubes and the shuttle to the mouth of the river. You float down to the reservoir, through the forests and fields, and that’s where we pick you up and bring you back here. There are a few rapids here and there, but other than that it’s a truly peaceful and rejuvenating experience and will provide you with a break from this heat spell we’ve recently found ourselves in,” the Senator explained with a slow and deliberate look around them, as if the heat spell was spying on them.
“We shut the river down to residents to make sure that you and your troops are able to take advantage. However, you two have the opportunity to go first before the rest of your Clones so you can truly be…yourselves,” Bail wasn’t entirely sure what questionable things Jedi do when they found themselves alone and he didn’t really feel like he needed to find out.
Anakin felt a mix of apprehension and excitement. It did sound nice and was something he’d love to do with Padme. However, water wasn’t really his thing. He could swim and he had grown accustomed to water throughout his years as a Knight, but it’s not like it was something he chose to surround himself with for fun. Did Obi-Wan even know how to have fun anymore? Anakin glanced over at Obi-Wan who apparently had been staring at him because they both looked away from each other immediately.
Obi-Wan started to speak, “Bail, this was most considerate of you but-“
“We’d be grateful to try it out! Thank you, Senator Organa. We’ll go this afternoon,” Anakin finished for his former Master, who had never fully closed his mouth after being interrupted.
“Excellent! You both deserve this. I wish it were more, but just you wait. I’ve heard so many great stories from those returning off the river. I’ll arrange for the shuttle to arrive in a couple of hours so that you may get settled. Swimsuits are provided and you will find them in your quarters,” Senator Organa stated with a barely distinguishable wink. He handed the two tickets to the Jedi along with the passcodes for their quarters and strode off purposefully back toward the landing pad.
Anakin snuck a peek at Obi-Wan’s quarters card. Suite 504. His own card said 505.
“Oh, hello there, old neighbor, old pal!” Anakin joked in his best impression of a crisp Coruscanti accent all while rubbing his shoulder up and down on Obi-Wan’s in the most annoying gesture he could think of.
Obi-Wan, exasperated, threw his hands up into the air before saying, “Well, now you’ve gone and done it, Anakin. I have meetings to attend. Important meetings that you don’t even know are important because you don’t do your reports. And now, instead of catching up on work, I’m going to be floating down a rapids-filled river on an innertube with somebody who refused to wash their face because they were afraid of drowning. This sounds like a situation I’d be trying to survive, not a situation that I’d put myself in for a good time,” Obi-Wan hissed at his former apprentice through a fake smile as a trio of Clones hooted and hollered by them. After opening and closing his mouth in a rare display of being rendered speechless, Obi-Wan said dryly, “I simply don’t know what could possibly go wrong in this scenario.” He dropped his arms limply to his sides, while turning to face Anakin, who was trying his hardest to hide a growing smile. His master was thrown out of his element. It was great.
“Obi-Wan, it’s going to be fine. I wash my face weekly now! See you back here in twenty minutes. I promise, you’re going to love this! Don’t forget your swimsuit!” Anakin jogged off, leaving Obi-Wan behind nervously running his hand through his auburn hair.
Obi-Wan centered himself through some deep breathing and began to walk after Anakin, all while repeating inwardly to himself: there is no chaos, there is harmony.