Chapter Text

Day 1

The first thing Jon saw after he woke up was the snow outside his window. It must have started to snow during the night, there was so much that the grounds of Winterfell were covered already. After a moment he realized that it was also very warm inside his chamber, his eyes moved to the fireplace and he noticed that someone must have put another log or two on the fire.

Then he noticed his door. It was a heavy old oaken door he and his father had recently recolored to a dark grey. The memory brought a smile to his lips as he got up and looked at the black leather strap hanging down from the door.

“That wasn’t there when I got to bed,” he mumbled and reached for the end of the leather. Letters were attached to it and he gently took them from it. A ‘1’ was scribbled on the first, and the way the number was written Jon already knew it was from his father, so he opened the letter.

“Dear Jon,

Last night a raven arrived with an urgent message for me. I had to leave during the night, but before I left I made an important decision.

I can imagine how confused you must be right now…”  

Jon really had been confused, but the sentence made him shake his head with a laugh, his father knew him too well. After a moment he continued to read.

“My decision was that I would leave you a letter for every day I’m gone. Each letter has a number; tomorrow you open letter two, the next day three, and so on. Maester Luwin will check that you’re not cheating.”

Again Jon laughed before he continued to read.

“I attached these letters to a gift; open your door, but keep hold of the leather strip while opening it.

I love you my son.

Father”

The last words of the letter brought a real smile to Jon’s lips, and he put the letter in a special place while putting the others in a secret drawer of his desk to keep them safe.

Then he approached the leather strap again, gripping it before slowly opening the door. As soon as he had opened the door far enough he noticed that a scabbard was on the other side, and it was not empty. His eyes went wide as he took hold of the scabbard and let go of the strap.

First he looked at the handle. It was simple and nothing too exciting, just grey wood. Yet the pommel of the sword actually made up for that. On one side of the steel pommel was a wolf engraved that ran after a shooting star; on the other side the wolf was resting right underneath this star. It was such a detailed work that Jon was speechless.

After a moment he shook his head and gently pulled the sword out of the scabbard, eyes going wide as he realized it was made of Valyrian steel.

How his father had managed to get his hands on Valyrian steel Jon didn’t know. Valyrian steel was probably the rarest material to acquire in Westeros, but somehow his father had managed to get enough to have a sword made for him.

His eyes moved to the secret drawer and Jon was already looking forward to the next day, but now it was time to practice with his new sword.

Chapter Text

Day 2

Jon woke with a huge smile on his face, only looking out of the window for a second before walking to his desk and opening the secret drawer to get out the letter with the ‘2’ written on it and sat down in his chair.

Yesterday his father had informed him that he’d had to leave, but he also left these letters accompanied by a new sword that was made of Valyrian steel. 

Robb had been speechless when he’d seen the sword. Neither of them knew how their father had gotten his hands on Valyrian steel, but Robb was clearly happy that father had used it to get a sword made for Jon. His relationship with Robb was special; they had always seen each other as brothers, but also as best friends. Aye they had ups and downs, but they’d always had each other's backs when it was truly needed.

Right now the sword was leaning next to him against his desk, right where he had placed it last night after polishing it at the heart tree in Winterfell’s godswood. Just as father cared for Ice he would care for his sword.

With a smile Jon looked at the letter again and opened it.

“Dear Jon,

I hope you liked the gift I left at your door. Originally I had planned it to be the gift for your next nameday, but I think now was the right time to give it to you.

Benjen and I talked when he visited us the last time; he told me about your plans to join the Night's Watch. It is a noble and honorable decision to join the Night’s Watch, but I sadly have to inform you that I forbid you to join the Night’s Watch. Your uncle is already informed about that, and so is the Lord Commander.

After I already lost my brother to the Night’s Watch, I won’t lose my son to it, too.

I hope you’re not angry about my decision, and I hope that you may even be able to understand it.

When I’m back I will happily tell you about my reasons, but one I can tell you here already:

You might think of yourself as my ‘bastard’, and I know that it is my fault,
but I want you to know that I do not think of you as a ‘bastard’. You’re my blood Jon, just like your siblings you’re my child.
You’re my son that I love with all my heart.

I promise you that I will make up for all the times that I have failed you.

I love you and am proud of you, my son.

Father”

Jon had been set on joining the Night’s Watch; he hadn’t wanted to be a burden to his family, and Uncle Ben and his father had always told him how honorable it was.

Yet now his father had forbidden him to join the Night’s Watch and Jon was  somehow happy about it. It felt good to know that his father didn’t want him to leave, that he wanted him here with all his siblings.

With that thought, and the knowledge that his father was proud of him, he put the letter away before getting dressed and taking his sword to get some more practice with it today.

Chapter Text

Day 3

“Jon?” A soft voice pulled him out of his dreams, and he turned towards the door that was slightly opened.

“Sansa?” He asked, still sleepy as he noticed the red hair of the girl who stood there and slowly nodded. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes, Arya just woke me up,” a gentle laugh escaped her and Jon smirked. “She wants to build a snowman today. So I thought…” For a moment Sansa was silent and looked at her feet before she looked back at him. “I wanted to ask if you would want to help us?” His younger sister looked a bit shy and insecure at him while a big smile came to Jon’s lips.

“I would love to help you and Arya,” he answered immediately. The last two years had been a very hard time for all of his siblings, and he wanted to support them all. At first Sansa had been cold and not accepting his help, but one night she had come to his chambers and simply cried in his arms. From this day on the relationship between he and Sansa had really improved.

“Oh,” it seemed as if the answer surprised Sansa. “I will tell Arya and have some breakfast prepared for us all,” was all his sister said before closing his door and disappearing.

Jon stretched once more before standing up and walking to his desk. Before he would wash himself and get dressed he would take a look at the letter with the ‘3’ on top.

“Dear Jon,

Today I want to tell you a story that you might like.

~

Many years ago a wolf was visiting a huge feast.

The wolf sat on a bench and watched how a dragon sang, a stag drank, and many other nobles danced.

At some point his eyes fell upon a star, and he wasn’t able to look away from the star again.

An older wolf noticed, and asked the star if she would mayhaps dance with the younger.

“Why would she?” the younger wolf thought, just to be pulled out of his dark mind when the star looked into his eyes.

“I heard you would like to dance with me,” the star said in a soft voice, and all the wolf could do was look at her dumbstruck.

A giggle escaped the star’s lips as she took the wolf’s hand and pulled him with her to the dance floor.

One dance turned to two, two turned to three, and with every passing dance the wolf opened up more and more to the star.

During that night something between them developed that neither had felt before.

Each day of the tourney they would meet, take walks, and talk before they danced through the night.

The star didn’t care about the older wolf, the dragon or the stag. All the star cared about was the wolf, and all the wolf cared about was the star.

And this would never change.

~

When I’m back you can ask me all you want about this tale; I will happily answer every single question you have.

I love you my son.

Father”

The tale brought a smile to Jon’s lips, it sounded like a sweet love story between a shy man and a woman who could have had whomever she wanted.

“Shit!” He suddenly said and put the letter back into the drawer. He had nearly  forgotten that Sansa and Arya were waiting, he couldn’t risk the bond he had developed with Sansa just because a tale had gotten him to daydream.

Chapter Text

Day 4

Jon was already awake and about to open the fourth letter from his father when Maester Luwin knocked on his door. Following the orders of his father the Maester asked to see the letters and checked if they were still correctly sealed.

“You know how he is Jon,” the old man said with a small smile as he was walking back towards the door. “He is a good and honorable man, breaking the rules would hurt him a lot,” Luwin stopped after opening the door and turned once more to him.

“I remember when he arrived here in Winterfell with you. The way he looked at you had Lady Catelyn fuming, the love and pride of a father clear in his eyes,” the words of Maester Luwin brought a smile to Jon’s lips. “Have a nice day Jon,” Luwin said before he finally left.

Still smiling, Jon opened the next letter.

“Dear Jon,

When people look at you they say you look just like me. Only the eyes are different; yours are darker than mine.

When I look at you I also notice that your brown hair is darker, closer to a light shade of black. Your mother’s hair was black — raven black. I will never forget the beautiful contrast it gave to her skin which was white like snow — just like your skin.

She was a beautiful woman, Jon. So beautiful that I can find no words to describe her.

She was beautiful, intelligent, and fun. She showed me a different side of myself, a side I would have never dared to explore without her.

She was the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me.

I’m sorry that I never talked about her to you; I know it was wrong, but to tell you what we had lost… it broke my heart whenever I thought about it. I always pushed it to the back of my mind.

Now, that has changed.

With each letter, I will tell you a bit about your mother; you deserve to know more about her.

I hope you can forgive me for how long I needed to finally tell you about her. Somehow I feared you would feel the same pain as I do when you found out just what a wonderful and sweet woman we both had lost.

I love you,

Father.”

Jon’s eyes moved back up, reading the lines about his mother again while his smile just got bigger.

“Oh father, as if I would be angry at you when you finally grant me my greatest wish,” Jon said with a smile still on his lips as he put the letter back in the secret drawer.

Chapter Text

Day 5

Jon woke up while it was still dark outside, instinctively pulling his blanket up higher when he felt that his room somehow had turned colder than it should be.

Bang!

His head snapped in the direction the sound came from and Jon noticed the window had been open, banging against the frame before the cold wind opened it again.

“Damn, I really should have repaired it,” Jon grumbled as he got up and walked to the window, pressing it against the frame before sliding the metal locks back into place before he looked towards the fireplace.

“At least it is still burning,” mumbling before putting two pieces of wood in it, the flame getting stronger again as he felt how the warmth came back. An annoying side effect was that his room now also was very well lit, making it harder to get back to sleep.

“May as well use the time,” he then said and got the next letter out of the drawer.

“Dear Jon,

In my last letter I told you a bit about your mother, and I’m sure you hoped that I would tell you more today.

Sadly I won’t, but you will soon get to learn more, I promise.

A few moons ago I noticed that I didn’t teach you and your siblings enough about the religion I follow. I left it to Catelyn and her Septa to teach all of you about this, and they taught you about the seven.

I follow the old gods, as you and your siblings know. The old gods are the oldest gods of Westeros, the Children of the Forest already followed them, their faith in the old gods was so strong that they even went to war against the First Men to defend the weirwood trees; these trees are sacred for the children.

You should know that Winterfell has its own godswood with a weirwood tree. While I’m on the subject… of all of my children you were the only one who wasn’t scared of the face carved into the heart tree. You seemed to be quite interested in it when I took you out with me. You probably don’t remember that, but I took you with me nearly every day, holding you in my arms while I prayed to the old gods.

If I think back you were a very quiet baby, I can’t remember you screaming a lot. Most times you calmed down as soon as I picked you up and walked around with you. I often sat down on a chair in your nursery after you fell asleep, just holding you in my arms and looking at you, not able to believe that you’re my son – you were just so perfect. The first light of the morning most times woke me up and you followed soon after me, looking into my eyes out of your own grey ones.

But those are stories for a different time, back to what I really wanted to tell you.

Praying to the old gods is rather easy. You kneel down in front of a weirwood tree, take deep and steady breaths as you try to relax your body and mind. You can look into the eyes of the weirwood tree — like I do — or you can close your eyes. When you feel at ease you start to silently pray.

And that is what I want you to do today. Go to our godswood and pray.

If you want you can ask your siblings to join you and tell them how they shall pray to the old gods.

After that it is your decision if you want to follow the old gods or the Seven.

No matter how you decide, I love you my son, and I am proud.

Love,

Father.”

Jon really couldn’t remember anything of what his father told him in the letter, but somehow he believed it, and he would do as his father asked of him; he would even try to get all of his siblings to join him.

Chapter Text

Day 6

Jon woke up with the first rays of the sun, a smile coming to his lips as his chamber was still warm this time. It was good that he had decided to repair his window after praying to the old gods: he would probably be half frozen if he hadn’t.

With a smile he got up and stretched his limbs before walking to his desk and getting the next letter out of his drawer.

“Dear Jon,

Yesterday I asked you to go and pray to the old gods.

As you probably anticipated, that wasn’t without a reason. My religion is a lot different from the faith of the Seven. Where the Seven have Septons, we have the Green Men. The Green Men are actually a sacred order: their duty is the protection of the Isle of Faces.

I have personally witnessed the power of the Green Men, and if you ask me, their powers are a visible proof that the old gods exist.

The Andals tried to destroy them during their invasion, but they couldn’t. They had a reason to defend the Isle of Faces, a reason that I was allowed to learn.

Sadly I can’t tell you the reason; we will have to visit the Isle of Faces together, and the green men will decide if you’re allowed the knowledge or not.

Still, I can tell you that your mother was allowed to know the reason the Green Men had. We went together, accompanied only by Howland; I will tell you more about Howland in my next letter.

As I told you two days ago it was your mother who showed me a completely different side of myself.

I have always been the quiet wolf, from the day I was born till my eighteenth name day. Somehow I was shy; I felt as if I was in the shadow of my older brother Brandon. That my father sent me away to foster with Jon Arryn didn’t help my self-esteem: I felt as if I didn’t belong with my own family.

This changed after I met your mother.

Ironically it was Brandon who asked her to dance with me; he had noticed that I was looking at her all evening and told me to ask her for a dance. I was too shy, so he did it for me — and till this day I’m thankful that he did.

During our first dance I was still quiet, worried that I might miss a step and make a fool of myself, but your mother… she was just wonderful. Slow and gently she involved me in conversation, pulling my attention completely back on her — and suddenly dancing was the easiest thing in the world.

We laughed a lot during the three dances we shared, and after these dances we talked. We talked about her home, her family and how she enjoyed King’s Landing — she had already been a lady-in-waiting for princess Elia for a few years at that point.

In return I had to tell her about the Eyrie and the North. She wanted to know how living in the North was, if it would even be comfortable for someone like her who came from Dorne.

I told her she might freeze in the North, especially during our harsh winters, but she just took my hands and wrapped my arms around her before she told me that she would never freeze if I was holding her.

Normally I would have gotten red and forgotten all words, but somehow I managed to tell your mother that I would always hold her — that I would never let go of her.

From that evening on it was Brandon’s biggest pleasure to tease us about seeming inseparable, and asking how we even survived the nights without one another.

This letter is already so long, and I haven’t told you what I wanted to tell you. The next one will be about Howland — as I wrote earlier — but the one after that will be about why your mother and I visited the Isle of Faces.

I love you, my son.

Father”

Jon wasn’t angry that his father hadn’t gotten to tell him what he wanted to tell; he was actually happy to now know that his mother was from Dorne, that she served princess Elia in Kings Landing, and that she and his father had really been in love.

With a smile he got dressed before leaving his chambers to go to the heart tree and pray.

Chapter Text

Day 7

Yesterday a snowstorm had come; it had stopped shortly before they’d had dinner, but Ser Rodrik had said that he expected a worse storm to come during the night, causing Jon to head to the godswood for a prayer to the old gods.

Bran had joined him on the way out of the keep after dinner. They had just knelt down when they were joined by Arya and Robb. They were just about to start praying when Sansa and little Rickon joined them, a shy smile on Sansa's lips. Jon understood that she was still insecure about the old gods, fearing that it meant she would let go of the memory of her mother, and he had to admit that he really was surprised about Sansa joining them.

After finishing their prayers, asking the old gods to keep their father safe, they went back inside. Sansa helped Old Nan with preparing thicker blankets for the beds — just in case that a window might break during the storm.

It was after Robb, Arya, and Rickon had fallen asleep that Robb, Sansa and him sat together again. They were all worried; the storm had already started and was stronger than the one during the day. In the end they had agreed upon taking shifts, Sansa the first, Robb after her, before Jon took the final one. They would check in on their siblings, making sure the fires were lit and rooms warm.

Jon’s shift would start soon, so he sat at the desk with a candle to read his father’s next letter.

“Dear Jon,

I already told you this letter would be about Howland, so let’s get to it.

Howland is actually the Lord of House Reed, the crannogmen follow him and they are one of the most loyal followers of the Starks. I am proud to call Howland my best and most trusted friend.

Even though I have known Robert many namedays longer, it was Howland who has proven his friendship again and again. While Robert ascended his throne, Howland rode with me to Storm’s End to end the Tyrell siege before we went to Dorne.

It was in Dorne where Rhaegar Targaryen kept your aunt hostage, three Kingsguard there to guard a tower that had become her prison.

Three against seven, and still only Howland and I returned to our homes alive. Well, not just Howland and I, you were with us on our way back home.

I lost my sister in Dorne, but I found my son.

Why is it so important to mention that you were with us? Because Howland became your godfather in the eyes of the old gods. We took a vow in front of the first heart tree we found, vowing to protect each other’s children, take them in and care for them as if they were our own.

You may wonder why I didn’t send you to foster with Howland… More than once I had thought about it, but I always realized that I can’t send you away. You’re my son Jon, and I remember very well how much it hurt me when my father sent me away.

Maybe I should have sent you to Howland, just to protect you more from Catelyn. To this day I can’t understand how she could be so loving to our children but treat you like you were the dirt beneath her feet.

I’m sorry that I didn’t protect you enough my son, I know that I failed you and it breaks my heart.

But maybe I can make up for all this, maybe I can show you and prove to you that I always loved you and wanted to protect you.

If not… I will let you decide if you want to go to Greywater Watch and foster under Howland, I know he will treat you like his own. He will teach you all he knows about the old gods, the Green Men and the Children. As a friend of your mother he will also be able to tell you a bit about her – just in case you were worried that I’m your only source of information.

And he will take you on the Isle of Faces, he actually lived there for quite some time, learned from the Green Men.

And again, forget about the Night's Watch. I won’t let you join the crows. I couldn’t stop Benjen, I won’t make the same mistake again.

Love,

Father”

Sometimes his father surprised Jon, he had never blamed him about the way Lady Catelyn treated him, and he knew his father tried to protect him the best he could without destroying their family.

When his father was back he would have to tell him that there is nothing to forgive, that he knew he did his best and that he looked up to him.

A knock came from his door and Jon put the letter in the drawer before getting up and opening the door, Robb stood outside and smiled. “Time for your shift,” his brother said before turning around to leave for his own chambers.

Chapter Text

Day 8

The storm outside was still strong. It hadn’t stopped the previous day, and they had kept up the shifts during the previous night. Again Jon was sitting at his desk with a candle, reading the letter from his father before Robb would knock at his door.

“Dear Jon,

As promised this letter will be about the Isle of Faces and why your mother and I visited it.

In the two prior letters I told you about the old gods and Howland Reed; as you might already assume, both are important for this letter.

Both are actually the reason why you mother and I visited the Green Men on the Isle of Faces.

When I met your mother, I wasn’t betrothed; it seemed as if my father had no plan for me even though my time as a ward under Jon Arryn was nearly over. Knowing that Brandon and Lyanna were already betrothed while I was sent away and not betrothed so far… it didn’t really help me feel like I was a part of my family.

To be honest with you, I had already talked with Robert about coming to Storm’s End with him and taking a position in his household — maybe as commander of the Baratheon forces and advisor to Robert.

But then I met your mother.

Suddenly it didn’t feel so bad anymore that my father hadn’t made any plans for me. I was a free second son, not having any responsibilities.

What happened between your mother and I, some may call it love at first sight, but I prefer to call it love at first dance. If it hadn’t been for your uncle we wouldn’t even have danced — as I told you in a earlier letter I was to shy to ask her, and she didn’t really notice me, what was mostly my fault as I always looked away and tried to hide as soon as she seemed to look in my direction.

After that dance we spent a lot of time together, but our friends thought it was just a simple fling, enjoying the attention of a person we would never meet again. Rober and Brandon were most audible about that, telling me: “A Dornish woman is someone you bed, not wed,” multiple times.

One of those times she was close and heard it, I saw how tears came to her eyes and that was the first time I punched both Brandon and Robert, not caring if I hurt them. I just was so angry about them hurting her, about them hurting my star.

I had seen red for the first time in my life, and the wolf within me had truly broken free. It’s a good thing that Howland was there then, as he actually pulled me and your mother away before I could do worse to Brandon and Robert.

Howland told us that he’d noticed how we looked at each other, the gentle touches and low whispered words we shared while trying to be as close as possible to one another. 

That day we admitted our love for one another; we were young, but so sure about it.

The issue was my father; a marriage to a Dornish lady would gain House Stark nothing.

It was then that Howland told us about the practice of asking the old gods for a betrothal. It is a tradition that was forgotten by many people as more and more betrothals were done to gain status and wealth over the years that passed.

Still, how were we to get that done? She was going back to King’s Landing and I was expected to return to the Eyrie.

That was when Howland brought up the Isle of Faces.

He told us that he couldn’t guarantee that the Green Men would let us onto the Isle, but that it was worth a try if we really wanted that betrothal, and that were we successful we would have an argument to persuade my father, as a Stark should respect any decision made by the  old gods.

So we left for the Isle of Faces.

When we arrived Howland stopped us from leaving the small boat; he only got out of it and waited. It wasn’t long until one of the Green Men appeared, and he asked the reason for our visit.

After Howland had introduced us the Green Men allowed us to enter the Isle of Faces; we were to not leave his side or we would risk getting attacked by the others.

Without wasting too much time he led us to a very old heart tree, older than the one in Winterfell.

We were told to kneel down opposite one another and intertwine our left hands before we looked into the eyes of the tree. It was important that we didn’t look away, as the old gods would judge us through the heart tree’s eyes.

I think it wasn’t even a minute before red leaves fell from the tree, gliding through the air as if they were controlled by magic. One started to circle around our wrists and the other leaves joined one after another, until all were in the circle and it moved as a closed union before our eyes. Suddenly leaves started to glow and wrapped tightly around our wrists, binding them together.

You might have noticed that I wear a red leather bracelet around my left wrist. This leather bracelet was the leaves of the heart tree, the sign that the old gods blessed our love and betrothed us. And yes, your mother has the same bracelet.

The Green Man was shocked; he told us that he had never heard of a betrothal happening so quickly; some never got a reaction from the old gods.

That was when he decided that we were worthy to meet the others and get to know the secrets of the Isle of Faces.

But I’m not allowed to talk about that.

When I’m back I will show you the bracelet.

Love,

Father.”

Jon thought for a moment, remembering the flashes of red he often saw at his father’s left wrist. So that was why father had never put the bracelet away; it was a sign that he still loved his mother: a memory of her.

Again a knock pulled Jon out of his thoughts, and he put the letter away before taking his shift.

Chapter Text

Day 9

It seemed as if the snowstorm didn’t want to end. Last night it had gotten even stronger, and so Jon was again waiting for Robb to knock at his door while he read the next letter from his father.

“Dear Jon,

I hope my last letter didn’t leave you with too many open questions. The letter got a bit long, and I really tried to only put the important things into it.

You now know that the relationship between your mother and I was not just a fling during the war. It was a serious relationship: we loved each other with all our being.

For my part that hasn’t changed until this very day. It couldn’t:  your mother is my soulmate — we simply had this connection. We didn’t need to open our mouths to talk, we just knew what the other wanted to say.

That might confuse you a bit, as Catelyn and I have grown to love each other too… but that was a different love.

The love between Catelyn and I was born out of a forced marriage, a marriage that Hoster Tully blackmailed us into. It was a marriage and his troops, or certain death in the rebellion.

Catelyn had been betrothed to my brother Brandon, and she was truly in love with the image she’d created of him in her mind. I think until the day she died he still had a special place in her heart — and that is okay, as your mother also has a special place in my heart.

I never wanted to take Brandon’s place; I didn’t want to marry Catelyn. We both loved someone else, and she needed time to grieve, not to be tossed at the younger brother as if she was a puppet.

To this day I haven’t forgiven Hoster for what he did to the both of us. He forced me to dishonor myself and Catelyn, in the sight of gods and men.

Still, as I wrote earlier, Catelyn and I grew to love one another. It took time, but I don’t regret it. To know that she was happy with her life — with me as her husband — before she passed… it means a lot to me, and I hope you don’t judge me for that.

I know you will probably never grow to love Catelyn, but I think she cared a little bit about you at least.

As a toddler you were very sick; Maester Luwin didn’t know if you would survive, and even Old Nan was worried. You had a high fever, and your breaths were very shallow. I feared that I would lose you, and it slowly broke my heart.

I didn’t want to leave your side; day and night I stood at your crib. I held you in my arms, and I carried you around, but my hope got less and less as time went on.

One night Catelyn came into your room; she came back from the sept where she had prayed for your recovery, and told me that I should now go and pray to my gods — she would stay with you.

I was reluctant at first, but after some time I left to pray.

When I returned you weren’t in your crib; I thought the worst and rushed to Maester Luwin, asking him what happened while I was gone.

Luwin actually brought me to the chambers I shared with Catelyn, and there you were in the middle of our bed. Catelyn lied next to you and hummed a soft tone.

When I joined both of you in the bed she told me that you had woken and screamed. You wouldn’t calm down and she just hoped you might be like Robb. Well, you were. That night you slept in our bed, just like the next night and the one after.

When you were finally recovering — and Maester Luwin was sure that you would survive — we put you back into your crib for the night — even though Catelyn had campaigned to keep you one more night in our chambers.

I think Catelyn hated herself for not being able to show you the same love as you grew older. Maybe in a different time — a different life — she would have been able to love you like her own, and treat you like one of her own.

I’m sorry that I wrote to you about Catelyn, but I think it was needed, my son.

I love you,

Father.”

Jon was torn inside, somehow he wanted to forgive Catelyn for all she had done, but on the other hand… he didn’t know if he could.

Maybe he should pray to the old gods later — if the snowstorm should calm down — and ask for their advice. That sounded like a reasonable plan at least.

However, then a knock sounded on his door, and he put the letter away, ready to start his shift.

Chapter Text

Day 10

When Jon woke up, he noticed that the snowstorm had calmed down overnight. It brought a smile to his lips as he hoped the storm would completely end over the course of the day.

He got up and put fresh clothes on before sitting down at his desk to read the next letter.

“Dear Jon,

My last couple of letters contained a lot of information — so much in fact that I’m a bit worried if I did the right thing. It is not that I regret my decision, but I worry that it might have been better if I had told you in person, so that I could have answered all your questions directly.

Don’t worry, I won’t stop what I have started now.

As my last letters were very long I decided to make this one shorter.

The topic today: Your Name.

Your mother and I had talked about names just out of fun; we hadn’t actually planned for children as we weren’t even married at the time. It was actually a funny conversation; it seemed as if we just couldn’t agree upon a name at all.

At some point we just came to the decision that each would decide the name of the opposing gender. At first I had considered naming a girl Lyarra, but somehow I felt like this would be wrong: our second daughter could have the name of my mother… and so I decided on the name of her mother.

Still, your mother once more surprised me. I had thought she would decide that a boy should be named after her father or her favorite brother, but she decided on ‘Jon.’

Jon because of Jon Arryn, the man who fostered me and made me the man that she fell in love with. The man who had been more a father to me than my own.

I think your mother and I only grew closer together with that conversation; it showed us that we cared more about the happiness of the other than our own.

Some might call this stupid — many men think a woman has to care about their feelings, but they don’t have to care about hers. This is wrong Jon! Promise me to never think like this. A woman deserves for you to care about her and want to make her happy.

Still, I’m straying from the topic.

Now you know why your name is Jon, and who knows… maybe someday there will also be a little girl in our lives.

I love you,

Father.”

So his mother had chosen his name. Not his father on the way back home. No, it was his mother who wanted to honor the man who raised the man she loved. He hadn’t anticipated that this little detail would well up so many emotions within him, a sniffle audible as he tried to not shed a tear.

Still, there was also that last sentence — and it confused Jon. His mother was dead, and so was Lady Catelyn, so why did his father think about more children? Did he plan to marry again? Well, his little siblings could need a mother as they grew up.

A knock came from his door and Jon was pulled out of his thoughts before he put the letter away. He looked towards his window once, and decided that he would later go and finally ask the Old Gods for their advice on the matter of Lady Catelyn.

Chapter Text

Day 11

Yesterday came to the front of Jon’s mind as he got dressed and walked towards his desk.

Flashback

The snowstorm had calmed down to a light snowfall, and they had been able to go outside again. By all seriousness over the last few days it had been refreshing when Arya threw a snowball at him. The one he threw back in turn hit Bran who then hit Sansa with her snowball. Jon wasn’t sure how long they had played in the snow together, but he had to change his clothes before he went to the heart tree and prayed.

He had asked the old gods for advice, looking into the eyes of the heart tree until a red leaf gently landed on his hand. It felt like the touch of a hand, the wind whispering a soft ‘I’m sorry’ into his ear, and Jon was sure it had been the voice of Catelyn who said it.

It was then that he did decide to forgive her, understanding that her life must not have been easy; at least from his father’s letter he assumed that Hoster Tully hadn’t been a nice man.

Flashback End

Jon sighed as he sat down. Somehow it felt good to know that Catelyn somewhere inside of herself had held a bit of love for him, and it felt good to have forgiven her, to close that chapter of his life.

With a smile he got the letter out of his drawer and opened it.

“Dear Jon,

I decided that today you should let all the information you’ve gotten so far sink in. Just think about it again, maybe write down a few questions you have for me.

So instead of new information I have another task for you.

I want you and your siblings to make sure that nice clothes are prepared for my return. It is very possible that a guest will accompany me.

Before you think you have to fight against Arya to get her into a dress… she is allowed to wear presentable breeches and a shirt combined with a cloak. The same rule is set for Sansa.

Each one of you shall wear clothes you like, but they shall be presentable, and they shall show that you all belong to House Stark — that you all are my children.

Your siblings are free to also include some reference to House Tully.

For you I want you to include some lavender in what you wear; feel free to also include one of the motifs from the pommel of your new sword. The seamstresses have been informed that you will come to them, and that your siblings might also come.

I look forward to seeing you all again soon.

Love,

Father”

Jon raised his brows at that task. Well, he understood that his father wanted them to be presentable if a guest came with him, but he was allowing Arya to wear breeches? That was new, and Jon was sure that Arya would be more than happy about it, as neither Sansa nor the Septa could complain if her father allowed it.

The other confusing thing was about his outfit. Purple and one of the symbols that are on the pommel of his sword. Jon looked to the side and at his, thinking for a moment before he decided on getting the wolf that rested under the star.

With that decision made he put the letter into a pocket of his vest, put his sword on, and then left to visit the seamstresses.

Chapter Text

Day 12

Jon woke with a smile, looking out of his window before walking to his desk and getting the next letter out.

“Dear Jon,

I hope you visited the seamstresses so that they’ve started working on your clothes. If not… please do so today. You know how they are, wanting to make everything look perfect.

Please do remind your siblings to do the same today, I don’t want to hear any complaints about them coming the day before I arrived.

Besides that… we have reached day twelve, and I can assure you that I’m already looking forward to returning home to you and your siblings. This was just too important so it couldn’t have waited longer. You all will understand when I’m back.

Today I have another task for you — or I suppose I should say two tasks.

First you will have to visit Mikken, the blacksmith of Winterfell. I have ordered a special sword from him; please ask how it is coming along. It shall be a gift for your sister Arya. Remind him that it must be finished before I return: everything else is less important.

The second task is actually for you and Robb. You both will get Arya and Sansa and bring them to the sparing yard.

Both of them will be taught how to use a dagger, and in the art of archery. It is a direct order from me. Maester Luwin has a sealed letter containing this order, in case Sansa says you’re lying.

I just want my daughters to know how to protect themselves; they shall never be in a situation where they feel helpless because nobody taught them what they needed to know.

I think Arya will be more than happy she is finally getting the lessons she’s always wanted instead of needlework.

Sansa will be… a harder task. Still I think you and Robb are capable of handling this task.

Love,

Father”

A sigh escaped Jon’s lips. His father really did want to test him and Robb now. Yes, Arya would be easy, and probably be completely excited about finally learning how to fight.

Sansa on the other hand… she loved her needlework, and she loved to act like a proper lady. To now be told that she has to get out in the yard and learn how to shoot an arrow, how to use a dagger in self defense… 

Jon had a feeling he would have a strong headache later today, but he was still determined to do as his father asked.

Chapter Text

Day 13

A low grumble escaped Jon’s throat when he woke. He had gone to bed with a headache, it had taken an unusually long time until he had finally fallen asleep, and now he already had to get up again.

Yesterday Sansa really had made it necessary to get Maester Luwin and the letter father had left with him; she simply couldn’t believe that she would now be forced to wear breeches and learn how to fight.

He  and Robb had been prepared to hear more complaints from her, but then she had suddenly enjoyed the lessons and she hadn’t stopped talking about them since. It was good to see and know Sansa had fun, but to listen all day to her talking about a basic lesson had given Jon a headache.

A sigh left Jon’s lips as he finally rolled out of his bed and moved to his desk, getting the next letter out.

“Dear Jon,

After the task you had yesterday… I hope this letter finds you well and unharmed.

But it might cheer you to know that today I actually don’t have a task for you; instead I will tell you about a plan I have.

When I’m back the winter will probably have fully arrived, and it will make traveling hard; that is why we will stay in Winterfell. During that time I will teach you and Robb about Winterfell and all the secrets our home has.

Believe me Jon, our home has a lot of secrets.

You might already know about the hot springs and the pipes running through the walls of Winterfell: it was once a secret, but now it is public knowledge why our home stays warm even during the coldest days.

Still, behind the pipes and the hot springs are more secrets, things you both need to know, and I want to teach you those things. My father sadly didn’t teach me; he only left me a book with all the secrets — I don’t want to make the same mistake.

After that, when traveling is possible again, we will leave Winterfell and travel through the North. You, Robb, and me. I will introduce you both to our bannermen. 

It is my hope that you both will be able to find loyal friends in their sons; that would make a lot of things easier for the both of you in the future.

A few of the Lords also have daughters; if one of them catches your interest I wish for you to inform me. Unlike my father, I want my children to marry someone they love.

Please share these plans with Robb, and don’t misunderstand me on the matter of marriage. There is no hurry, but it can’t hurt to keep your eyes open.

Love,

Father”

Jon blinked and was surprised at what his father had planned for him and Robb. He would have understood if he had only taught Robb the secrets and traveled with him alone — but it felt good to know that he would teach them both together.

Chapter Text

Day 14

It had been evening when he and Robb  were finally alone, and he’d told Robb about father’s plans. Robb had been just as excited as he was.

They had talked about the houses they were most excited to get to know. The Mormont’s were high on Robb’s list. He had heard so many stories about the fierce women from Bear Island he was sure Arya would love to hear real tales about them — and to visit them one day, too.

Jon in turn was most excited about House Reed — something that had surprised Robb a bit. Somehow Jon had managed to give an explanation that made sense without giving too much away.

It was already night when they parted ways, each going to his chamber to get some much needed sleep.

The sun woke Jon the next morning, and he felt a lot better than the previous morning, immediately getting out of his bed to read the next letter. 

“Dear Jon,

I think it is time we move into the past once more.

After I met your mother and got betrothed to her by the old gods, I went back to the Vale. My time as the ward of Jon Arryn still wasn’t over, and I have to admit that I was a bit happy about it.

Jon was actually the first person I told about the betrothal, even before Robert and my father. Jon had become like a second father over the years I had spent in the Vale: we had developed a bond I can’t describe with words.

Yes, sometimes I felt bad that the bond I had with my father wasn’t as strong as the one I had with Jon, but with time I understood that it wasn’t my fault: it would have been different if I had been allowed to stay home.

Understanding this also made me decide that I will never send any of my children away to be fostered.

Now back to the main topic. So I was back in the Vale and talked with Jon. He was surprised I had done something so bold. Back then I was already known as honorable and quiet Ned, so different from Robert and my brother.

More than once Jon talked with me about it all, and he asked me if I was sure about it — if I really wanted to marry your mother. Every single time I confirmed my decision without hesitation. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

It had taken a moon of talks until Jon finally decided he supported my wish. You can’t imagine how happy I had been by simply having his blessing and support for my wish to marry your mother.

Then he surprised me even more.

Jon told me a ship would leave from Gulltown within a few days, that if I would not waste too much time I might be able to catch it and meet your mother again. While I was gone he would contact my father and talk with him about the betrothal of me and your mother.

We will talk about this time period in the next letters.

Love,

Father”

So they would return to talking about his mother; knowing this made Jon’s day even better and his smile bigger.

Chapter Text

Day 15

Knowing he would get to know more about his mother today had gotten Jon excited — so excited that he nearly fell over his own feet as he rushed towards his desk to get the letter out.

His sword nearly crashed to the ground when he bumped against his desk in excitement: he had been barely able to catch it and place it safely against the wall before opening the letter and starting to read.

“Dear Jon,

As you can probably imagine I left the Eyrie within a few hours. The way to Gulltown took multiple days, and I wanted to be on that ship when it left the port.

Your mother and I had exchanged ravens, so I knew she was back home with her family. In the last raven I sent her I told her when and where the ship would arrive.

The way to my destination wasn’t easy; we were set upon by two storms that had me worried whether or not our ship would survive, but somehow we made it out of them alive, and arrived safely at the destination port

I had just walked down the gangplank when a body suddenly crashed into mine, and slender arms wrapped tightly around me as a face pressed into my chest.

I didn't need to look down to know it was your mother: her scent had been enough. Her scent was a combination of summer, fresh fruits, and the ocean. Somehow her scent felt like sunshine and warmth, as if she was welcoming me home simply by being there.

Your mother informed me that the ship was actually two days late, and she had heard about the storms. The storms had been fierce and had sunk multiple ships, and she had feared that mine may have been one of them.

That day your mother barely let go of my hand:  it felt as if she feared I might vanish, that it all is just a dream, but it wasn’t a dream, we were finally  together again.

We were not at your mother’s home — the ship didn’t sail nearly that far — and so she had already gotten a room for the two of us.

Your mother wouldn’t accept when I offered to get a room of my own; she refused for the two of us to be separated after the old gods had betrothed us. After some time I agreed with her — she had too many good arguments, and I simply couldn’t decline a wish from your mother.

Please don’t think poorly of me now; I didn’t dishonor your mother that night, nor during any of the following nights. We simply enjoyed being close to one another, holding each other at night and waking up in each other’s arms.

Forgive me, I’ve started rambling again. Somehow I always do that when I talk about your mother.

In my next letter I will try to not ramble so much, I promise.

Love,

Father”

A low laugh escaped Jon’s lips while he shook his head. He would actually enjoy it if his father kept rambling in the letters and told him such sweet moments his parents had shared.

Chapter Text

Day 16

Today Jon didn’t rush to his desk. His toe was still hurting from yesterday, and he didn’t want to cause more damage than he already had. With a sigh he had sat down in his chair and looked down for a second.

“Maybe I should show it to Maester Luwin later,” he mumbled as he noticed that the toe was turning blue.

Still, that would have to wait; first he would read his father’s letter, and he could talk with Maester Luwin after that.

Smiling, he got the letter out and opened it.

“Dear Jon,

Your mother’s home is a very warm place — something I wasn’t used to.

All my clothes felt unbearable. They would be drenched in sweat after I wore them for a mere few minutes. It annoyed me greatly, even if it amused your mother immensely.

The Vale might not be as cold as the North, but it is colder than most other parts of Westeros, and so even though I didn’t grow up in the North I was mostly owning thick clothes; this was the issue according to your mother.

She said she had an idea how to solve it, but I would have to promise I wouldn’t complain or try to get away. Somehow I didn’t really have a good feeling about that — but what other option did I have, if I didn’t want to sweat all the time?

So your mother pulled me into one of the markets.

I had seen the market at Harrenhal, and even though the one at Harrenhal had been bigger, this market was more lively. People were shouting, and merchants were running around trading. One merchant often bought something from another, only to add it to a deal he was making with an interested customer.

It was interesting to watch — and amusing at the same time.

Your mother loved it, from the moment we stepped into the market she was looking at the merchants’ offers, often talking with them and trying to get better offers than the original one.

How did that help me?

I asked her the same question. All I got as an answer was her beautiful smile, which slowly turned into a smirk before she took my hand again and pulled me after her.

We quickly moved through the market until she stopped in front of a small house’s entrance. When we stepped inside I noticed it was a merchant who dealt clothing: clothing that was traditional for your mothers home.

I wanted to turn around and leave the place when I noticed how different that style was from the styles of the Vale and the North, but your mother stopped me. She looked at me with big eyes and reminded me that I promised her to stay without complaining.

And so I stayed, for what I imagined to be the worst day of my life.

Was I right? I will tell you in the next letter.

Love,

Father”

A low grumble escaped Jon’s lips. He wanted to know how this visit had ended. Knowing how much his father loved the simple Northern style he couldn’t imagine that he would have liked anything so exotic, but mayhaps he had misjudged his father, or mayhaps his mother had a greater influence than he thought?

Well, he could only hope his father really would tell him more about it in the next letter.

Chapter Text

Day 17

Maester Luwin had told him the previous day that the toe would cause pain for a few more days — maybe even two or three weeks. He provided him with a tea against the pain — he said to only use it if the pain became unbearable.

Jon would have to keep his exercises limited — maybe he should take more theoretical classes during that time — or he would risk the pain never fully going away.

It had been a good laugh for his siblings when he’d told them how it actually happened; he had been grumpy at first, but then he’d joined the laughter, too.

With a smile he opened the letter this morning.

“Dear Jon,

I won’t waste much of your time, so let me get back to the story.

Your mother and the man talked. He was surprised she’d brought someone who was wearing clothes from the North. It was clear he was interested in them, how they were made, and how they were keeping us so warm during the winters:  I think he saw a possible business opportunity in selling them there.

You must know that even though your mother’s home is warm, it can get very cold during the night — especially if you don’t own a house that gives you proper shelter.

So while I stood there and waited for them to bring me clothes to try on, I also had to tell them all I knew about my own clothing.

It didn’t take long for them to bring the first outfit. When I felt the fabric I was… surprised. It was slick but soft, lightweight, and I could feel the wind through it. After I tried it on it felt as if it was cooling me down.

I still remember that it was a pair of wide grey pants with black details; the shirt was of the same fabric and had a low cut. I wasn’t really comfortable with it, but your mother told me it looked great, that I didn’t need to be ashamed of showing my muscles.

Well, she always knew how to get me to agree with her, and so I bought the set.

When I pulled them off, I noticed that my clothes were gone — they had just disappeared. I thought someone had stolen them and rushed to the front of the store. Your mother just chuckled while the man behind the counter whistled innocently.

I realized that with my clothes missing I was only wearing my smallclothes. I think at that moment I grew as red as Catelyn’s hair.

Your mother made some jokes — asking me if I couldn’t wait till we were back in our room — while she brought me back to the dressing area. It was then that she told me they had taken my clothes so the merchant’s employees could take a look at them and mayhaps try to recreate them.

I was a bit grumpy at first, but then your mother told me that we would get a couple of outfits for free in return. I couldn’t say no to that.

To be honest, I can’t describe with words how good your mother and I looked in the outfits that the merchant had chosen for us. It was a deep red with black details, and they had even embroidered the wolf resting under a star.

It was the outfit your mother and I wore the most; it showed that we were a couple, and we liked that.

I really had thought the time in the store would be bad, but it was actually a lot of fun with your mother.

Love,

Father”

So his mother and father owned a couple’s outfit, something that showed they belonged to one another. Jon couldn’t remember ever seeing something like this on his father and Catelyn. Sure, Catelyn had worn the Stark colors, but it had never looked as if what they were wearing had actually been made to be worn as a couple.

Again it made Jon smile; it made him happy to know that his parents had actually been this happy together.

Chapter Text

Day 18

Jon had decided that he would take more theoretical lessons until the pain in his toe was gone. It wouldn’t be fun to watch the others practice while he wasn’t allowed to join.

With a sigh he got up and moved over to his desk, which was still covered with a book and parchment that contained the notes he’d made last night and had to present to Maester Luwin today.

Still, before the lesson there was time for his father’s letter.

“Dear Jon,

It’s not only the clothing that is different in the home of your mother, but also the food.

The first few days your mother had actually taken care of our food. I was surprised by how good of a cook she was. Many noble women don’t learn how to cook: they simply trust that they will always find a maid who is good enough, and that they will be able to hire a cook.

Your mother was different. She enjoyed shopping for fresh ingredients and cooking. You can’t imagine how surprised I was when she actually made a Northern stew on the first evening I was there. 

After a few days she decided it was time that I get to know the food of her home — and I agreed: there was no reason not to get to know something new.

When we arrived at the restaurant there was already a table prepared for us both. A candle was placed in the center together with some bread and fruits. Two glasses and a bottle of local wine was also already waiting — and I knew your mother had planned this dinner days in advance.

We enjoyed a glass of the wine and had one of the local fruits before dinner was served. The food looked and smelled simply delicious; it was the best steak I had ever seen in my life.

The first bite of it was… odd. Somehow it tasted sweet in the first moment, but then changed. I ate a few more slices before it suddenly got spicy — but I could still handle it.

While eating I noticed your mother was glancing at me again and again. She had the same meal, and I was sure there was no difference between our food — but she knew that it was a kind of spicy I wouldn’t be used to.

Every slice seemed to be spicier than the one before. Even though I was wearing the light clothing we bought, I was sweating, and I was happy to have a beard and longer hair — my skin was probably mostly red by that point.

Your mother’s glances told me that she was waiting for me to give up, to admit it was too spicy. I knew she wouldn’t make fun, but I also wanted to prove to her that I was ready to live in her home.

So I kept eating: giving up wasn’t an option for me anymore.

When I finished the plate your mother was surprised. She had told me that it was one of the spiciest dishes you could get in your mother’s home. She had thought I would have quit halfway through, at the latest.

I told her that her eyes gave her and her plan away. She laughed and told me that I was the only person who read her eyes as if they were a book.

Still, I also admitted that my mouth felt as if a fire was burning inside it. Your mother laughed again and she ordered milk for us. I was surprised, but milk really did help soothe it.

This letter does not only contain a funny memory of mine, but also a lesson: always order a cup of milk if you’re eating something you don’t know.

Love,

Father”

A laugh escaped him when he imagined how his father had forced himself to eat the steak just to prove he was the right man for his mother. It was funny, but also cute in a way.

Chapter Text

Day 19

The situation on his desk hadn’t gotten any better since the previous day. Maester Luwin had liked his results so much that he’d given him even more tasks to solve for today, and Jon still had one of those tasks open.

Before he could get to that, he pulled out the letter from his father and opened it.

“Dear Jon,

While I’m sitting here in my solar and dwelling on old memories, I think I’ve thought of another  one you might enjoy.

When I visited your mother we didn’t stay in one place. She decided that I should get to know the important places and where she was born.

You will probably assume that we traveled by ship, or that your mother used a wheelhouse — something I assumed when she told me her plan — but no; your mother had organized two horses for us.

It was the first time I saw your mother wear breeches. To say that I was surprised would be an understatement — not that I didn’t like to see her in them. I simply didn’t anticipate seeing her wear breeches.

You must know, I only ever saw your mother in dresses until that point, and I knew she loved to wear a nice dress. I don’t know how many she owned, but I remember her wearing three different ones within a single day at Harrenhal, and that happened more than once.

Still, there she stood, wearing breeches and riding boots combined with a tunic to protect her upper body from the sun. Now I also understood why she had purchased traditional headwear for both of us:  we would need it while riding.

So we rode, and by the old gods your mother surprised me yet again.

I always thought your aunt was the best rider I had ever seen in my life: when Lya was on a horse you thought they were one, a union of woman and horse.

Still, your mother was even better than your aunt.

If it hadn’t been for me she probably would have arrived at our destination hours earlier — needing less days for the complete trip — but she told me it was fine, and I believed her, because her eyes showed that she enjoyed riding together with me.

Your mother also loved that I listened to her — that I took her advice seriously and tried to follow it. Thanks to her I became a much better rider within a few days. By the end of the journey I was sure I had become even better than Lya on a horse: it simply had started to feel natural thanks to your mother.

Love,

Father”

Jon remembered a day in the past, when he and Robb had thought they could challenge their father to a race back to Winterfell. Their father had just laughed and told them to try their luck.

He and Robb were both good and fast riders, and they had immediately spurned their horses to race away from their father. When Jon had looked back he noticed his father still riding at a calm and normal pace.

It was when Winterfell came into view that a black bolt suddenly darted past him and Robb. Jon had been surprised, and when he looked back he’d noticed his father wasn’t there anymore.

Even though he and Robb kept going at a sprint, it seemed as if their father had arrived at Winterfell much earlier. His horse was already stabled and eating while he waited at the gate with a smirk on his lips.

The memory still made Jon smile, and now he knew why his father was such a good rider.

Chapter Text

Day 20

So far Maester Luwin had been more than happy with his lessons. It had mostly been tests to make sure he was on the level of knowledge he should be. Because of the good results Maester Luwin had given him no task the previous day, making it possible for Jon to spend some time with his siblings in the evening.

He had enjoyed spending time with them again instead of sitting in his chamber with a book to write down notes. Still, he had gone to bed earlier than Robb and Sansa. He knew Maester Luwin wanted to prove his numbers today, and Jon wanted to make sure he was fit for it.

Still, before he would waste more thoughts on that he got up and walked to his desk, reading the next letter from his father.

“Dear Jon,

The day before your mother and I would leave her home for the Vale, she came up to me with a bet. I still remember her words as if it was yesterday:

‘So you think you know the bow, my love? How about a wager: if you can outshoot me you can have whatever you like, but if I prove the better marksman, you're going to loosen that vaunted honor of yours and give me what I want.’

Before I met your mother I didn’t have very high self esteem, but I knew that I was a very decent archer. So why should I not accept the bet? My chances were pretty good in my opinion.

Well, I failed badly against her.

It seemed as if she always hit the bullseye without even having to look — to say that I was shocked would be an understatement, but I was more proud than shocked — proud because a woman who was so talented in so many ways had fallen in love with me, a mere second son who may not even become lord of his own keep.

Again your mother showed me her tricks, taught me how to be a better archer, and I noticed that a lot of it also came from the differences the bows of her homeland had. It was interesting, and something I had planned to tell my father — mayhaps such bows would have been helpful in the future.

Well, to this day we have kept our traditional bows. Not because they were better, no: We only kept them because I had banished every memory of your mother from my mind, so strong the pain had been.

This probably doesn’t interest you as much as finding out what I had to do after your mother won the bet.

Well, let’s just say your mother enjoyed being carried around by me all day long in her home — while I was allowed to wear only my smallclothes in public, but within the private areas of her home I had to be naked.

While I was embarrassed and worried about what her family might think about me, her family was amused by it. Still, even though they were amused, they decided we should rather stay in the private areas of their home — promising we would have them completely to ourselves until the next morning. 

I still don’t know why they did that, but I didn’t complain: it wasn’t so embarrassing to be naked in front of your mother alone.

Well, you might not have wanted to know the last bit of information, but the ink is dry.

Know that your mother loved you just as much as I love you, Jon.

Love,

Father”

His father really didn’t have to include the last bit of information — Jon had heard enough tales from the guards and maids in Winterfell to know his father was very well endowed, even though his father didn’t seem to know that himself — just like he seemed to never have noticed how Lady Catelyn’s screams often kept Winterfell awake during the night.

With a small smirk Jon remembered when Theon hadn’t wanted to believe that. The other boy had said the guards and maids were only saying that because they feared his father’s reaction if they said something different, and that Lady Catelyn was exaggerating for her husband’s benefit — as being so loud wasn’t normal. So Theon vowed he would find out the truth.

When Theon came back he had been as white as snow and seemed to be in a state of shock. He and Robb had talked to Theon for half an hour until Theon — who was well endowed as they knew — said “Compared to your father, I’m tiny” and then left without another word.

That was reason enough for him and Robb to stay away whenever their father could potentially be naked.

Chapter Text

Day 21

Jod had woken later than he normally did. He had stayed awake longer than usual the previous night with Robb as they talked about the time with Theon as ward of their father. Both laughed when Jon brought up the story of Theon wanting to prove the rumors about his father were wrong — only to find out  they were in fact very true, and as Theon himself had later said, seemed like an understatement.

Having had a few ales while talking about the past wasn’t the best decision, as Jon realized now when he rolled out of his bed and slowly walked to his desk, sitting down with a sigh and getting the next letter out.

“Dear Jon,

As I said in my last letter, your mother and I left for the Vale. This time the sea was far more calm, and we arrived as planned.

Jon was excited to finally meet your mother — “the woman who made the honorable Eddard Stark forget his honor and follow his heart,” he had said when they first met and I introduced them. Your mother laughed at that and gave me a gentle kiss: a display of affection Jon had not expected back then.

Our time in the Vale was great. Jon talked a lot with us about our future life together and the plans we had. After some talks Jon actually offered me a lordship in the Vale: he had a keep that would only need some restoration work before we could move in. 

As nice as the offer was, we had to decline.

During our trip to the Vale we had decided that we would live in your mother’s home. Even though the heat was unbearable, I had somehow fallen in love with her home and the people there.

Jon also told me that he’d had a correspondence with my father about me and your mother. My father had been surprised and a bit reluctant, but Jon had been able to convince him to at least contact your mother’s father.

It was over a month before Jon called us into his solar again, informing us that a raven had arrived in the early hours of the morning — a raven from my father. Without any further words he handed the letter to us.

With this letter my father informed Jon that a betrothal between your mother and me had been arranged, and that he looked forward to meeting us at Riverrun for Brandon’s wedding.

Your mother and I couldn’t have been happier.

Then the king’s letter arrived.

My father and Brandon were dead, Lya had been abducted, and the King demanded the head mine and Robert’s  heads.

Still, instead of doing what the king demanded, Jon raised his banners and revolted. This was the moment the rebellion started.

I had to get to the North — to Winterfell — so I could call my banners and march to war with Jon and Robert.

Normally I would have taken a ship from Gulltown to White Harbor, but Gulltown had declared loyalty to the crown, and so we — yes your mother accompanied me — had to cross the Mountains of the Moon to the fingers, and there we hoped to find a ship that would take us through the Bite.

We found a fisherman who agreed to take us through the Bite to White Harbor, but we came into a storm. The fisherman drowned, and I thought everything was lost, but your mother proved me wrong. She took control of the ship and shouted commands at me.

She brought us through the storm, but our ship was badly damaged, and we had to land in Sisterton. I had hoped that nobody would recognize me, but someone did and reported it to Lord Borrell.

Guards captured us on the street and brought us to Lord Borrell who questioned me. Your mother and I had agreed that nobody should know she was a noble woman: it would be far too risky in Sisterton. 

And so I told Lord Borrell that she was the daughter of the fisherman who had offered to bring me through the Bite. I told him that her father drowned and we were somehow able to save our own lives.

Even though the Maester of Sisterton advocated for Lord Borrell sending my head to Aerys, the Lord didn’t agree. He allowed me to continue on my way to the North, and so your mother and I left for White Harbor — this time reaching our destination.

Love,

Father”

After this letter Jon had even more respect for his mother than before. Everyone knew the Mountains of the Moon were home to Mountain Clans — and what a risk traveling through them was, but it was not just that. His mother had also steered a ship through a storm that had killed a fisherman, and then stayed at his fathers side in Sisterton. She really was an amazing woman.

Chapter Text

Day 22

From day to day his toe was hurting less, and the blue was disappearing. Maester Luwin had checked it the evening before, and said that he would check it again today — and mayhaps Jon would be able to go back to the sparring yard by tomorrow.

Still, before he worried about all that, he would read the next letter.

“Dear Jon,

You can probably imagine how happy your mother and I were when our ship docked in White Harbor. It meant safety — for now.

Some people might have been worried upon seeing Lord Manderly waiting for me with his guards — but I knew that House Manderly had been fiercely loyal to House Stark since they emigrated from the Reach after the Andals came.

Lord Manderly brought your mother and me not to the “New Castle” the Manderlys had built in White Harbor, but to the Wolf’s Den, and Howland Reed was waiting for us.

We were really happy to meet Howland again — but also surprised. I hadn’t called my banners, and no other lord was in White Harbor thus far.

“We Crannogmen have our ways, Ned,” Howland had said with a laugh as we walked through the ancient castle, and then I understood that it must have had something to do with the old gods.

That still left the question as to why your mother and I were in the Wolf’s Den, until Lord Manderly informed us that it was time to part ways, at least for a bit. Howland confirmed that I would soon see your mother again, but we both had to get prepared.

At first I didn’t understand, until Howland pushed me into a chamber where clothes worthy of a Lord Paramount were spread on the bed. The grey cloak had the direwolf of House Stark embroidered.

When I had freshened up and changed my clothes, Howland led me from the chambers to the godswood of the Wolf’s Den. In the godswood was a huge old weirwood heart tree. Howland led me in front of it and we waited.

Then your mother came out. She was wearing a dark violet dress combined with a lavender cloak with her family's crest embroidered on the back.

Howland instructed us to kneel down in front of the tree again and look into the eyes of the carved face. Red leaves were raining down on us again, moving around us as if controlled by magic.

“Turn towards each other,” Howland had shouted over the wind that was getting stronger and we followed his command. “Take each other’s Hands,” and again all we could do was follow his command.

The leaves had been circling around us, and now I felt how something eased the cloak from my shoulders while I watched how your mother’s was opened and lifted into the air and placed on Lord Manderly's arms.

And then my cloak floated over to her, carried by the leaves which fastened it around her shoulders.

The leaves moved between us, circling our arms before one after another floated into the middle, merging with the one that was already there. The leaf became bigger and bigger until all leaves had merged, and it was shining in a bright red light.

Within seconds the leaf was torn apart in the middle, half of it bolting towards my chest while the other bolted towards your mother’s. They simply shot into us, and I saw how your mother’s body glowed red. She told me later that the same happened to me.

“You can kiss each other now,” Howland cheered, and we did just that before raising from the ground.

“We have prepared no feast, but I think you will be happy to spend some time alone now,” Howland joked while leading us back to the chamber I had changed in earlier.

Your mother and I were alone — and newly married — and unable to control ourselves any longer.

Hours later, — as we lay in the bed and cuddling one another as we reveled in the afterglow — we noticed the red symbol over our hearts: a wolf resting underneath a star.

Neither of us had expected this to happen that day, but it was for the best as we had to leave for Winterfell the next morning.

Love,

Father

P.S.: I think you would like to know that the Wolf’s Den was built by King Jon Stark.”

Jon’s eyes were wide at what the letter revealed. Did he understand that correctly, or had he given too much importance to the words? This would mean that…

He had to talk with his father about this as soon as he was back.

Chapter Text

Day 23

Jon woke with a smile. He had dreamed about his father as a young man, dancing with a beautiful woman who had long raven black hair. With the smile still on his face he got up and opened the drawer of his desk to take out the next letter.

“Dear Jon,

Your mother stayed with me in Winterfell while I called my banners. One House after another arrived, and many of the lords were suspicious about the southern woman at my side.

But your mother knew how to win them over and gain their love.

How?

She became a Northerner.

Within days it felt as if she had been born and raised in the North. It had started when we left the Wolf’s Den. Your mother had taken some books from Lord Manderly's library, and she started to read them whenever we made a stop.

Whenever something confused her she asked me about it — sometimes we had to find the answer together as I had spent more time in the Vale than in the North, but we found them as a couple.

So she impressed the lords, not acting like a southerner but like a true Northern woman. The only thing she didn’t change was her love for fancy dresses: when it was time for dinner she would wear one of them — and I wasn’t angry.

Your mother also made many of her dresses herself. She combined the more practical and warming Northern material with the style of her home — I think I never before saw dresses of the North looking as good as your mother’s.

But even though she acted like a Northerner, dressed like a Northerner, and prayed to the old gods… the lords and ladies still saw her as a sweet southron flower — at least they did until the day your mother did beat their fastest in a horse race, and their best archers in an archery competition.

That was the day they finally truly accepted her, and it was when the talk about her being a southerner died.

When we marched I had to make a decision.

Your mother was showing signs of her pregnancy, and Maester Luwin had confirmed our assumption — it was the happiest day in our lives when we found out that we were expecting our first child.

Yet it also made the risk for your mother so much higher.

We had a huge argument, but at some point your mother agreed: she was safer with her family than with me on the battlefield. So while the men marched, I brought her back to White Harbor from where she left with a trustworthy captain on a ship.

When we arrived in Riverrun I knew my decision had been the correct one.

Hoster Tully had ushered me and Jon into his Solar the moment we arrived. The man immediately showed his true face: he was greedy and cold. He didn’t care about the deaths of my father and brother, and he didn’t care about the rebellion going on.

No, all he cared about was that Catelyn would become Lady of Winterfell. Oh, and that Lysa would become the Lady of the Vale.

It was this, or he would not support the rebellion.

I told the man I was already married, that your mother and I had been married by the old gods.

Hoster Tully didn’t care. No, he only cared about his greed and nothing else. It didn’t matter to him that Catelyn didn’t want the marriage, that I didn’t want it, and that Lysa also was against it.

Hoster Tully only saw the chance to give his house more influence.

If I think back… I should have simply killed the man with my bare hands in his solar. That is what he deserved back then.

Still, I had to agree: we needed the forces of the Riverlands, or the rebellion would have been lost before it could begin — and my head would be on a spike in King’s Landing.

So I accepted to marry Catelyn — even though I had planned to talk with her and fake our bedding ceremony.

As good as my plan had sounded in my mind, I hadn’t anticipated that Hoster Tully would make sure the bedding was done.

Forgive me, but I have to stop at this point, or I might destroy my own solar out of fury.

Love,

Father”

It was easy to see that his father had gotten angrier and angrier while writing that letter, the way his writing changed gave it away. Jon understood completely.

Chapter Text

Day 24

Jon woke up with new motivation, shoving the feelings of hatred he had developed for Hoster Tully to the back of his mind as he walked to his desk.

It was the last letter he took out, slowly opening it before reading it.

“Dear Jon,

I’m sorry for the abrupt end of the last letter, but I really had to calm myself down.

The topic is still one that causes me a lot of pain, and I hope you might understand that I had no other option: it was either the marriage, or certain death for myself, my family, and my friends. Even so, what worried me the most was that they might even find you and your mother. I couldn’t risk either of you getting hurt.

You know how the rebellion ended, and I won’t tell you all of that again — it would only waste your time.

After I went to Dorne and found your aunt dying in her birthing bed — still clutching a stillborn daughter to her chest — I rode to your mother’s home. I was sad and exhausted, but I couldn’t have known what awaited me there.

Your uncle had awaited me with you in his arms. He wasn’t angry at me, and he didn’t blame me: he understood I had had to do what was needed to save my family.

It broke my heart to find out that your mother had jumped into the sea from the tallest tower of her home. For days her family had searched for her body, but they couldn’t find it. At some point they had given up, assuming your mother had died and was washed away by the sea.

Maybe they had given up too fast, or searched in the wrong places: I don’t know it yet, but I will find out the truth, my son.

I look forward to finally seeing you and your siblings again tomorrow. Make sure everything is prepared.

Love,

Father”

A tear rolled down Jon’s cheek, but he brushed it away. His father was still searching for the truth, and Jon was sure he wouldn’t rest before he found it.

With a sigh he got up. His clothes should be waiting for him with the seamstresses, and Maester Luwin wanted to check his toe once more before his father was back.

Chapter Text

Day 25

The sun was just rising, but Jon literally jumped out of his bed. Maester Luwin had told him the previous day that his toe was fine, and he could join Robb in the sparring yard. It had been a joy to actually be able to fully join in the exercises again.The training duel with Robb had been the most fun, especially compared to answering Sansa and Arya’s questions later and showing them some tricks.

Still, that didn’t matter now. Today was the day father would return, and he could finally ask all the questions he had. To say Jon was giddy would be an understatement.

Jon took a long bath this morning, enjoying the hot water and making sure he was extremely presentable when he slipped into his new clothes.

They had just gotten ready to break their fast when a guard came inside the great hall of Winterfell.

“Two riders are approaching Winterfell,” the man announced, and Jon jumped up from his seat. He immediately rushed outside and made his way toward the great gate of Winterfell, from where he looked for the riders. It didn’t take long for him to spot two black points in the distance rushing toward him.

“Did father say anything about bringing a guest today?” Robb asked as he stepped up next to him, a small smile on his face. Arya appeared next to him with Bran before Sansa joined them with Rickon on her arm.

“Maybe an old friend of his?” Sansa suggested with a shrug while the two black points got bigger with every passing moment.

“I know nobody who can match father’s speed on horseback,” Robb said, and Jon blinked. It was true; he had never seen anyone who could match his father’s speed on horseback.

“Actually,” Jon said, but he closed his mouth again. It simply couldn’t be who he thought. His siblings looked at him confused.

“Are you going to tell us what you were thinking?” Arya asked after a moment.

“Don’t you know?” Bran answered for him, and Jon saw his little brother smiling at him.

“Lord Eddard is coming home,” one of the guards shouted from atop the gate just moments before laughter became audible. Jon’s siblings looked even more confused while he felt his heart beating faster and faster.

It felt as if it was within the blink of an eye that the two black destriers bolted into Winterfell. They were so fast they had to circle around the group once before the horses finally stopped.

“You didn’t forget what I taught you,” the words were followed by a warm laugh while his father unmounted and went over to the other horse.

“As if I would ever forget something you taught me,” Jon heard his father say while the woman who was with him took the hand his father offered before dismounting. Instead of moving away the woman pressed against his father after her boots touched the ground. The horses were hiding them, and Jon felt as if he might faint.

Then his father and the woman came forward, holding each other's hands.

The woman was tall, just a few inches shorter than his father, and she still had a perfect figure. She must be around his father’s age, even though her hair was still raven black.

Then Jon noticed her eyes — laughing purple eyes. Jon could drown in them. They showed warmth and love:  they made him feel welcome.

“I missed you all,” was the first thing his father said. “And I’m sorry I had to leave you in the middle of the night,” then he let go of the woman’s hand and opened his arms. Arya was the first to crash into him and give him a hug, Bran following quickly before Robb and him, Sansa with Rickon again were the last.

“I love you all,” his father said, but Jon looked at the woman who stood a step behind them. She smiled at him, and he was sure he saw small tears in the corners of her eyes.

After a moment, father let go of them and made a step back, taking the woman’s hand.

“Let me introduce you to my children,” the woman gave a nod, and his father pointed each of them out. “Rickon — my youngest — carried by my eldest daughter Sansa. Bran — my second youngest — who loves to climb, and is very intelligent. Arya — my youngest daughter, and so much like Lyanna. This is Robb — my second eldest.” Then father was silent for a moment, and the woman looked at Jon, the smile on her face growing bigger.

“And Jon, the eldest,” his father said, and turned towards the woman for a moment before looking at them again.

“Children, this is Lady Ashara Stark,” he said, and Jon heard gasps. “She is Jon’s mother, and my first wife. We were married by the old gods — something Hoster Tully didn’t respect.” His father’s eyes were hard like steel for a moment, but then softened.

Still, Jon forgot all about this as the woman wrapped her arms around him all of a sudden.

“Oh Jon, my sweet boy,” she whispered as her hands gently moved over his spine and he was speechless. After a moment he felt another pair of arms wrapped around him, his father having joined the hug. “I’m so sorry, my son,” his parents whispered at the same moment, and finally a sob escaped Jon’s lips as the tears started to flow.

More and more hands were suddenly touching him, and Jon knew it was his siblings who had joined the hug his parents were giving him. They stood silently like this until he had calmed down, and then slowly they parted again.

“But how? Why?” Jon asked as he looked at his mother, who smiled at him.

“Let us talk inside,” his father said, and took his mother’s hand, his other hand resting on Jon’s shoulder.

His siblings simply respected their father’s wish. They walked past the great hall and immediately went to his father’s solar. His father moved behind his desk and sat down. After a moment his mother simply placed herself onto his father’s lap, and they waited for the rest of the family to take seats.

“Hoster Tully forced me and Catelyn to marry. Neither of us wanted it, but he made sure we had no way out of it,” father started, and Jon noticed how his mother’s hand gently caressed the back of his father’s hand. “After the war, I was told that Ashara threw herself from the Palestone Sword — the tallest tower at Starfall — into the sea and died. That was what Ashara’s family believed,” he looked at each of them, making sure they listened.

“I returned from Ashara’s home with a broken heart, but also with a toddler who reminded me that I couldn’t simply give up,” with these words his father looked straight into Jon’s eyes. “That toddler was Jon Stark, my firstborn son.” So he was not a Snow: he wasn’t a bastard.

“But why did you tell everyone Jon is a bastard?” Sansa asked. “This made his life a lot harder than it should’ve been,” and Jon thought he heard regret in her words, sadness about the way she had treated him.

“That is a good question,” his father answered. “On my way back I had a lot to think about, and somehow I had a feeling Jon’s life might be threatened if I announced the truth,” his father sighed. “And I’m sure that I made the right decision back then.”

“I left because Howland Reed contacted me,” his father looked at his mother. “During a patrol, crannogmen had found four armed men who were trying to bring a woman behind the wall — a woman who didn’t know her name or age,” with a sigh his father leaned his head against his mother’s.

“If Howland wrote me a letter because of this, it could only mean he assumed the woman was Ashara, and I couldn’t wait for further confirmation: I had to make sure,” Jon noticed his father’s other hand had a strong hold on his chair, the veins already visible.

“Magic had been used on Ashara. Her hair was brown and her eyes green when I saw her, but a look at her left wrist and her left breast was all the confirmation I needed.” His father opened his tunic, pulling it down a bit to show the red mark of a wolf resting under a star directly over his heart. His mother followed the example a moment later and showed the same mark — without showing too much skin.

“This mark,” his father said with a smile, his index finger moving over it. “It was created by the old gods when they married us,” Jon stared at the red mark, proving that he is a Stark, not a Snow. “It is created by the magic of the old gods, and  it cannot be faked, and so Howland’s suspicion was confirmed,” his siblings were surprised, but they didn’t want to interrupt their father. Jon was sure father would later have to answer many questions about the old gods.

“The crannogmen started to work on the magic she was put under, while I interrogated the men who had been with her.” His mother gently placed a kiss on his father’s forehead while Jon was sure his father only stayed as calm as he was because of her.

“Your mother had been kidnapped by Hoster Tully’s men. She had been a captive in Riverrun all these years. After your mother died, Hoster and his heir Edmure decided it would be best to get rid of Ashara,” his father growled while his siblings gasped in shock.

“I informed Robert about this new development, and I called my banners from Greywater Watch. The lords should arrive during the next few days,” his father continued after a deep breath.

“Called the banners? Father—” but Robb was interrupted by a raised hand from his father.

“We will march against the Riverlands; it is a false winter and they won’t expect us. House Tully will pay for what they did to House Stark, which includes your mother. What father forces his daughter into a marriage she doesn’t want instead of letting her grieve?” Father shook his head, and Jon understood: Lady Catelyn had hated her father for what he had doneto her and father. “Robert gave me his blessing and is sending troops to make Robb the new Lord Paramount of the Riverlands. Catelyn, and I had always prepared you to become the Lord Paramount of the North or the Riverlands: not even your mother trusted her own family enough to not make preparations,” father’s tone allowed no discussion as he looked at his children.

“Jon is from now on Jon Stark, and heir to the North from the moment Robb becomes Lord Paramount of the Riverlands. I understand if you won’t support my decision, but I hope you might one day,” a sigh left his father’s lips as he looked at them all.

“Father,” Sansa was the first to speak. “What gran— Hoster Tully did deserves vengeance, and I understand that unc— Edmure Tully deserves the same: he wanted to send our stepmother to certain death to keep you from finding out what they had done.” Jon had never expected Sansa to say something like this.

Still, what surprised him even more was that his siblings agreed.

“We will always support you father, and it will be an honor for me to become Lord Paramount of the Riverlands,” Robb said before looking at Jon. “I’m so happy you’re finally a Stark,” he said with a smirk before he hugged Jon.

“I’m happy about this too,” Sansa said with a smile, and his other siblings joined in. Rickon didn’t understand what this all was about, but that was okay: he was just happy father was back.

“Sansa and I will stay here with Bran and Rickon, that way we can help Ashara adjust to the North and Winterfell,” Arya said then with a small smile before she hugged Ashara.

The complete meeting in the solar ended in a big family hug before their father sent them to break their fast.

Jon turned around once more and saw how his father gently kissed his mother.

They were marching to war, but Jon was happy to have his mother back.