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Blonde hair tickles you awake. The now familiar tingling sensation draws a broad smile on your face.
Since you’ve been in this trio constellation you always loved waking up that way. Warm sunbeams shining through the almost closed curtains of your bedroom, a lean muscular body with blonde hair draped over you and a pale brunette lying next to you.
Your calmness and your safety.
Slowly you open your eyes, checking your surroundings and carefully stretching your sore but satisfied body. Lovingly you wrap your arms around the blonde before turning with her to the other side. With a soft hum she opens her eyes and tenderly smiles at you as she cuddles you closer. You brush a soft golden lock out of your and her face while she draws various patterns over your back.
A sudden wave of emotions catches you and unexpected tears fill your eyes. You don’t know what’s happening but you close them as fast as you can.
“Hey baby, look at me.” Soft words full of worry fill your room and her hand is warm on your face. You lean into the contact as she strokes your cheek. When you open your eyes they are still moist but your tears got back to where they came from.
“What’s going on? Were we too rough last night?” Softly you smile at her and shake your head as you take her hand to kiss her knuckles.
“No, I’m fine, really. Sore, but fine,” you promise and heat flushes your cheeks, “I’m just grateful for you. For both of you. And I love you so much.”
You don’t know where it’s coming from or what’s happening but right now it feels like your emotions are overwhelming you. But you don’t have time to overthink it.
“We love you too. And there is not a single day we’ve taken you for granted my love.” Emily looks at you with sleepy eyes and the dark timbre of her voices sends a shiver down your spine. She presses herself against JJ and rests her leg over the both of you.
“And whatever has been going on with this week, I’m impressed,” the blonde says smiling at you, “your libido ran out mine.”
“And that really means something,” Emily jokes and JJ playfully slaps her leg as she shushes her.
But she’s right. Your libido was through the roof for the last few days. Everything made you horny. One second you were talking to your partners and the next second your brain remembered how they look writhing and moaning below you.
Or how it feels to have them between your legs, JJ’s tongue playing with your clit and licking through your folds or Emily ruining and fucking you with her strap into the mattress.
There’s a sudden flush of wetness between your legs and you don’t know how you can still be horny after the last days. While trying to control your emotions and your hormones you close your eyes. There’s a small but painful pull in your lower abdomen and you realize what’s really going on. In a moment of shock you rip your eyes wide open.
You desperately hope you are wrong. But as you rub your legs together you feel it. It’s too much wetness to be just arousal.
Oh no.
It’s been years since you started your period. But it’s only been months since you were fine with it. Like, really fine. Fine in the sense of asking your partners for help. Being okay with them caring for you and giving you an orgasm to ease out your cramps. But this?!
No.
This isn’t fine.
This is disgusting and horrible and totally your fault.
“Hey love, you back with us?” Emily looks at you, dark eyes full of worry because of your sudden change of emotions. You just nod and try to swallow around the lump in your throat. Silently you apologize.
“Why baby? What’s going on? Give us something to work with.” JJ’s blue eyes are full of love as she strokes your cheek again. You flinch at the movement. Knowing she would never hurt you but getting caught up in your head. Hurt flashes over her face as she pulls back.
You ruined their sheets. They are probably full of blood because you didn’t look closely enough at your cycle. The sheets are in a light cream color which means they’ll have to throw them away.
You’re stupid. So so stupid. Again you apologize, tears welling up in your eyes but this time for different reasons.
“Hey, stay with us,” JJ gets your attention again. Fighting against her instinct to reach out for you. You don’t know what to do. They are going to notice the mess you made. Maybe they are going to be angry, you ruined it after all. They bought them, it’s their money you make them throw away.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t-.. I didn’t mean to-.. It was an accident, I, I promise.” You fight against your tears, not wanting to let them fall. That would not only make you an inconvenience but also pathetic.
The two women don’t understand. They don’t understand until JJ sits up and her movement pulls the blanket away from you. Not much, it wasn’t her intention to put your naked, vulnerable self in the middle of the room. But it was enough for her eyes to catch the red smear behind and below you on the light sheets. Your pulse quickens and your blood rushes loud in your ears.
“I’m sorry, I mean it. I wasn’t careful enough, it was an accident. It won’t happen again, I’m going to buy new ones or I’ll give you the money and I’ll clean everything up. I’m sorry,” you ramble. Panic rushes through your veins and your breathing quickens.
“Baby, everything is okay. It’s fine. Things like that happen. It’s just your body doing its job. I also stained some sheets and so did Emily. It’s just your period Ace. You’re okay.” You’re too caught up in your head to realize the soft tone in her voice or the comfort shining in Emily’s eyes.
“I didn’t want for this to happen. I’m sorry,” you whisper. You don’t move, you can’t. If you move they’ll see the damage you made. You’ll see the damage you made. They’re going to be so mad at you. Maybe they won’t make you leave, but they’ll ask you how you could be so stupid. Maybe they’ll yell at you, stamping you in the ground.
“My love, you don’t need to apologize. It really is okay. We’re not mad at you.” Emily moves and so does the blanket. The movement sets you off. You jump out of the bed and run into the bathroom, slamming and locking the door behind you. When you look down at your legs and see the mess you made for the first time. There’s a thick smear of blood on your thighs and you really don’t want to know how the sheets look like.
— —
“Ace, come on. Open the door my love. Everything is okay. I promise you, it’s okay.” Emily knocks against the door, trying to get their third one to open it.
“Honey give her a few minutes. Help me to change the sheets. If she comes out of the bathroom and sees the blood she’ll just spiral again. One thing after another,” JJ reasons as she removes their stained sheets. Emily sighs defeated and leans her head against the door. The shower’s running but it’s not shushing Aces muffled crying and it’s breaking her heart.
“We both know I can’t do that.” But still she walks away from the door to help JJ with the bed. The faster it’s done, the faster they can care for their third one.
“I know Em. I can hear it. Here, take them and tuck them into the laundry. I’ll try to get through to her,” the blonde says and throws her the dirty sheets.
As Emily leaves the room JJ walks over to the bathroom door, knocking against it and trying to get through to the young woman.
Of no vail.
“Jen.” Emily throws her the spare key for the door and JJ opens it.
The second the door opens the sobs of their partner echo through the room. The blonde climbs into their shower, hissing as the hot water hits her skin. “Ace baby, this is way too hot.”
She turns the heat down until the temperature switches from burning hot to a normal, pleasant temperature before she crouches down next to her girlfriend.
“Are you with us my love?” Emily asks and sits on Aces other side.
The young woman nods her head, carefully looking up with water and tears running down her face. “I’m so, so sorry,” she whimpers, trying to disappear and making herself small.
“Don’t do this, don’t make yourself small. Everything is fine,” the brunette insists, rubbing their girlfriends back soothingly.
“Can I?” JJ asks as she stretches her hands out, clearly not wanting to overstep. When Ace nods the blonde takes her head in between her hands and hugs her to her chest.
— —
“It really is okay. We’re not mad at you.” Her calm voice echoes through your head and you accept it. Her heartbeat is slow and grounds you. With Emily’s hand on your back you calm down. You’re safe with them. Your present self knows that, but your inner child doesn’t.
“We got you. You’re okay. No one’s going to yell at you. No one’s going to hurt you, love.” The deep voice helps you to breathe through your fears. You nod and sit up.
“You ready to get out of the shower?” You nod and let them both pull you to your feet. You trust your partners. You trust their words. You trust your instincts. And they tell you that you’re safe. You’re safe and they are not mad at you.
“I got you some of your clothes. We’ll give you some privacy, okay?” You nod again as Emily wraps you up in a thick towel. As they leave the room you take out some tampons and pads and put on some clean underwear. But as you see JJ’s Redskin sweats and Emily’s Yale hoodie you stop.
What if you get blood on their clothes? Those are their favorites, you can’t ruin them. But on the other hand, they gave them to you. Your heart rate picks up again but you stay strong and put on their clothing. If they wouldn’t want you to wear them, they wouldn’t give them to you.
With lowered eyes you leave the bathroom. JJ takes your wet towel and Emily turns you around and walks with you back in the bathroom. She brushes and braids your hair lovingly and kisses your shoulder through her hoodie. “I love you. Everything is okay, I mean it.“
She turns you around and tilts your head up before she kisses you deeply. “Hey, are we kissing? Why is nobody telling me that?“ JJ comes rushing into the bathroom and kisses you with so much love it makes you want to cry.
“You want to cuddle up on the couch with some cookies and watch a movie baby?” she asks as you both pull apart. Biting your lip you nod shyly. She brushes your cheek, knowing what’s going on in your head. “I love you,“ she says and kisses your forehead. You press her hands lovingly before she leaves the bathroom.
The second you want to walk out after her you feel arms wrapping around your legs and lose the ground beneath your feet. With a shocked gasp you find yourself in Emilys arms. She smiles tenderly at you and you cross your arms behind her neck, smiling back at her.
She stops with you in the hallway, carefully leans down to you and press her lips softly to yours before she starts walking again. You look up to her and you can’t control your smile, even if you wanted to.
When she sets you down onto the couch, JJ sits behind you and holds a hot water bottle to your abdomen while Emily pillows her head in your lap. In that second it doesn’t matter how the day started because right now, you’re exactly where you belong and where you want to be.