Chapter Text
The arena was practically buzzing with energy. Gavi could feel adrenalin pumping as his eyes focus on the Villarreal
They were tied with only ten minutes remaining.
The game had been friendly enough that only two yellow cards had been handed out, one for each team.
Gavi had gotten one for shit talking with a Villarreal player.
It wasn't even his fault. The opposite player had started the argument, and yet Gavi got a yellow card for simply defending himself.
The referee didn't seem to agree with him, and Lewandowski had pulled Gavi away just in time before the Villarreal team had gotten a chance to get to him.
Lewandowski didn't say anything other than telling Gavi to "calm down."
Gavi had bit his tongue, letting out a huff before jogging away.
"Corner kick!" The referee whistles for the Villarreal team, causing Gavi to growl.
It wasn't fair.
They should've gotten a free kick, not a corner.
The Villarreal player had fouled Pedri, causing him to let the ball go out.
Gavi swallows as he lines up.
The ball goes sailing and he jumps for it.
A hard body connects with his, but Gavi manages to keep himself on his feet.
Iñigo kicks the ball away from their goal and up towards the middle of the field.
Gavi immediately rushes towards it.
He manages to take it, dribbling past the first line of defenders.
He pushes it forward, looking up for any striker.
Raphina was on his way, sprinting up towards a free space.
Gavi immediately sends a long ball towards him and Raphina easily picks it down.
Gavi continues forward, seeing the free space in front of him.
Raphina passes it back towards him in the penalty area.
A hard push in his back sends Gavi flying, missing the ball.
He lands hard onto the ground, biting back a shout as his wrist makes contact with the ground.
He rolls, right hand immediately going for his throbbing wrist.
Fuck it hurt.
"Keep on playing!" The referee yells and Gavi immediately pushes himself up from the grass.
"What?!" He shouts, angrily stalking over towards the referee.
"It's a yellow and a fucking penalty! He pushed me inside the box!" Gavi argues angrily as the Villarreal player who pushed him jogs over to them.
"I didn't do anything! He fell on his own!" The player argues, gesturing to prove his innocence.
"Are you fucking serious?! You pushed me!" Gavi growls, turning towards the player.
"I didn't do shit to you!" The player growls, his hands pushing at Gavi.
"Don't touch me!" Gavi slaps the player's hands away from his jersey.
"Hey!" The referee tries, but Gavi only sees red.
"You fouled me! I was going to fucking score before you decided to tackle me from behind!" Gavi shouts as he walks right up to the player.
They stand face to face, and the player sends him an easy grin.
"Referee doesn't seem to agree with you, good job costing your team the win." The player chuckles.
Gavi immediately pushes him and then they start fighting.
They push at each other, growling words under their breaths.
He could hear more yelling, but he couldn't focus on it.
It was like he was underwater, only aware of the player in front of him.
He feels someone trying to pull him away, but he fights against the hands.
"It's not my fucking fault that you pushed me!" He yells as the other player huffs.
"Isn't it? You couldn't just stand on your feet instead of diving?" The player asks and Gavi immediately pushes him harder.
A pair of strong arms suddenly haul him away despite Gavi's fighting.
"Gavi breathe." Pedri's voice causes Gavi to finally emerge from underwater.
He could see both teams arguing whilst the two captains were talking to the referee.
"It should've been a penalty and a card!" Gavi argues as he forces himself to take a few deep breaths.
His wrist was still throbbing from pain and Gavi let the pain ground him.
"I know, but the referee didn't see it. There's nothing he can do." Pedri answers gently, one of his hands on Gavi's chest whilst the other was on his cheek.
"Breathe." Pedri repeats, and Gavi tries his best to slow his breathing, eyes still on the player that fouled him.
"I- fuck." Gavi mutters, pulling away from Pedri.
Pedri lets him go just as the referee blows his whistle.
He digs his hand into his pocket, clearly looking for a card.
Fucking finally.
Then, the referee fucking walks over to Gavi, holding up yellow card before pulling up the red.
"What the fuck?!" Gavi immediately shouts, eyes wild once more.
"You're done." The referee states and Gavi takes an angry step forward.
"Are you fucking serious?! I get punished for getting pushed?!" Gavi yells, throwing his hands in the air.
"Gavi. It's over, just head to the locker room." Fermín's voice causes Gavi to turn.
Fermín had a tired expression on his face, holding out a hand for Gavi.
Gavi slaps it away, storming off the field.
He ignores the others and Xavi, storming down the tunnel and into the locker room.
"Fuck!" He screams once he's alone, throwing the first thing he sees into the wall.
"Mierda!" Gavi screams, kicking a bag on the ground.
He knows that he fucked up.
He didn't mean to lose his cool, especially not with so little time remaining.
No one follows him into the locker room.
It was a well-known fact that Gavi didn't respond well to someone trying to calm him down right away, he needed time by himself.
Gavi fists his hands, digging his nails into his skin.
His wrist was still throbbing.
He growls as he pulls off his jersey, throwing it onto his bag.
Fuck this.
Breathe, Pedri's voice murmurs in his head.
Breathe.
Gavi pushes himself against a wall, resting his forehead against it as well as his knuckles.
Breathe.
He forces himself to slow his breathing, counting his breaths quietly.
The anger slowly fades and changes shape as shame washes over him.
Fuck.
What the fuck did he do?
Xavi was going to be pissed.
Gavi had promised to stop fighting on the field.
A fucking shit promise.
He slowly sinks down on the ground, forcing himself to keep breathing.
He slowly looks down on his now swelling left wrist.
The pain was becoming more prominent as the adrenaline slowly leaves his system.
He looks up to the tv in the locker room, seeing Villarreal scoring in the last minute.
Fuck.
He immediately gets up, pulling on a sweatshirt and kicks his shoes.
He sits down by his cubby, mentally preparing himself for the scolding from Xavi.
The locker room slowly fills with quiet players.
Gavi refuses to look at anyone, but he doesn't seem to have to since no one sends him so much as a glance.
Pedri enters and sits down by his cubby, right next to Gavi.
Pedri doesn't say anything, but he sends Gavi a worried look.
"You okay?" He murmurs quietly.
Gavi only gives him a nod, eyes glued to the ground.
Xavi enters along with the other coaches.
Gavi doesn't look up, only watching his untied shoes.
"A tough loss." Xavi announces and Gavi hears others murmur in agreement.
"It was a rough game. I thought that he played okay, not very good and not very bad." Xavi continues, and suddenly Gavi can feel his eyes on him.
"Gavi are you listening to me?" Xavi asks, and Gavi only nods without looking at him.
Xavi lets out a frustrated sound, suddenly walking towards Gavi.
"Maybe you could show us that you actually do care about this team rather than sulking. If you didn't have to get into an argument, then we might've tied the game rather than lost with one goal." Xavi's voice was unforgiving, and Gavi suddenly looks up at him.
"I do care! I care about the team and I-"
"Really? Because I haven't heard you apologise for your behaviour, all that I've heard is excuses. Your red card cost us the game, maybe you'd like to apologise to your teammates?" Xavi asks with a cold tone.
Gavi gets up, eyes burning with either anger or shame.
He wasn't sure, but it was easier to act out with anger than shame.
Anger made Gavi feel protected, less vulnerable.
"He fouled me in the penalty box! I didn't do anything wrong! It's not my fault that the referee didn't fucking-"
"Quiet!" Xavi suddenly raises his voice, eyes glaring at Gavi.
Gavi only glares back at Xavi, fisting his hands once more.
"You need to learn to keep your emotions in check. You just cost us the game and you can't even see it. You're benched for the next game." Xavi orders and Gavi's eyes grow comically wide.
"What?! But we're playing against Bilbao!" Gavi tries, but Xavi raises his hand to silence Gavi.
"Right now you're risking the well-being of the team. I won't let you risk the team's chance at winning, and you should know that." Xavi says with a finality in his tone.
He turns his back to Gavi, moving back into the middle of the room.
Gavi still has his hands fisted and he could feel his nails breaking through the skin.
"Sit down or get out." Xavi throws out behind his shoulder.
The anger grows inside of him.
"Sit down kid." Lewandowski says tiredly, nodding towards Gavi.
Gavi feels himself shaking with anger and shame.
He quickly looks over towards the door.
He could leave.
Breathe.
Gavi sits down, counting his breaths in his head.
In, out.
In, hold for five seconds, out, hold for five seconds.
Ten times.
He could do it ten times.
His breathing suddenly hitches.
Fuck.
A shudder runs through his body.
He loses track of his breathing.
His chest was burning, there was no air left in it.
There was no air in the room.
Gavi immediately gets up, scrambling out of the room whilst panting.
"Gavira!" Xavi shouts, but Gavi ignores him.
He manages to get out to an empty corridor.
Dizziness hits him, everything was growing blurry.
Gentle hands grab onto his upper arms and Gavi feels himself being led away.
He's sat down, and someone was kneeling down in front of him.
"Gavi, look at me."
Pedri.
Gave forces his eyes to focus on Pedri.
"That's good, now breathe with me." Pedri orders, pressing a gentle palm on Gavi's stomach.
Gavi feels Pedri pushing and Gavi forces himself to inhale.
"Good, now out." Pedri guides and the pressure of his palm disappears.
Gavi tries his best, practically trying to push out the air from his mouth.
"Slowly." Pedri signals for Gavi to look up at him.
Pedri breathes louder than normal and Gavi feels himself trying again.
He's not sure how long it takes him until he breathes normally again, the pressure in his chest disappearing.
Gavi falls forward, resting his head against Pedri's chest.
He felt exhausted.
Gentle hands card through his hair.
"You okay?" Pedri asks and Gavi nods weakly.
The shame inside of him tries to rise, but tiredness forces it back down.
" 'm so fucking tired." Gavi manages.
"We'll stay here for as long as you need." Pedri promises, hands not leaving Gavi's curls.
"Where are we?" Gavi asks without any real interest.
"A smaller locker room, it's always free during games." Pedri explains softly.
"You didn't have to come." Gavi tries, but Pedri shushes him.
"I'm your boyfriend, it's my job."
Gavi grows even weaker and Pedri gently rearranges them so that they're sitting side-by-side with Gavi's head in the crock of his neck.
" 'didn't mean to get carded. I just- I got so fucking angry." Gavi tries his best to explain, but Pedri only strokes his cheek.
"I know, we'll work on it." Pedri answers softly and Gavi nods weakly into his collarbone.
"I fucked up." Gavi whispers.
Pedri's hand slowly comes to the back of Gavi's neck, gently massaging it.
"It's going to be okay. It's only a red card, not the end of the world." Pedri soothes.
Gavi hides his whole face in Pedri's collarbone.
Pedri's arms go around his body and Gavi lets out another shudder.
"Lets get you home, I'll get your bag." Pedri suggests and Gavi nods slowly.
"Do you want to come with or stay here?" Pedri asks.
Gavi swallows, but ultimately lets go of Pedri, resting his back against the wall.
Pedri nods, kissing Gavi's cheek before getting up.
"I'll be right back."
The door opens and shuts.
Gavi's alone.
The shame comes creeping and Gavi rests the back his head against the wall.
What the fuck had he done?
.
Gavi manages to hide his wrist from Pedri.
They get two days rest after the game and Gavi spends the entire time with Pedri.
He cuddles close to Pedri, hiding himself in Pedri's warm embrace.
He was laying on Pedri's chest, his ear right above Pedri's heart. He could hear it's even rythm.
He wasn't completely sure how late it was, but he was comfortable and Pedri's arms were comforting.
"What if they're still mad?" Gavi asks in the dark room.
Pedri pulls him closer, kissing the top of his head.
"They won't be, and if they are - then you just tell them that you're sorry. They'll understand, they always do." Pedri answers easily.
Gavi nods, gnawing at his bottom lip.
He wasn't as sure as Pedri.
Gavi had really fucked up, costing them an important game.
A game that they were supposed to win.
"It's not your fault that we lost. Sure, we might've won if we got to be 11 on the field, but ultimately we weren't good enough." Pedri continues as he strokes Gavi's back.
"Not according to Xavi." Gavi bites back.
"Xavi is passionate, you know that he cares about you. Sometimes he forgets to remind himself that it's a team sport." Pedri states.
Gavi hums.
The room grows quiet.
"What are you thinking about?" Pedri asks, breaking the silence.
Gavi pushes himself up on his elbows, looking down at Pedri.
"I'm thinking about how amazing my boyfriend is." Gavi sends Pedri a smirk in the darkness.
Pedri chuckles warmly, stroking Gavi's cheek.
"Yeah? You're right, he sounds very amazing." Pedri answers with a smile.
"He is, I'm not sure how I got him." Gavi says, trying his best to hide the self-consciousness in his words.
He meant them.
Most of the time, he could ignore the pressing question. Most of the time he only felt happiness with Pedri, forgetting any issue or problem.
Other times he couldn't.
Other times the question burns in his chest and head. What exactly had he done to deserve Pedri?
A more pressing question was when Pedri would realise that Gavi actually doesn't deserve him.
Gavi tries to ignore the fact, but he knows that he has to prepare for it.
Pedri would eventually realise it.
Gavi didn't have half as much to offer as Pedri.
Pedri was calm, gentle and safe.
Gavi was complicated, chaotic and ruled by his emotions.
"Mi vida, did you hear me?" Pedri's voice forces Gavi back into the present.
"Sorry." He mumbles, looking away from Pedri's face.
Pedri slowly sits up, guiding Gavi to do the same.
Two hands envelope his face, forcing Gavi to look at Pedri.
"You know, it's quite funny." Pedri begins with a soft smile.
"What is?" Gavi asks, feeling more self-conscious.
"It's funny, because I've always wondered the same thing. I'm not exactly sure what I've done to deserve someone like you, but I'm thankful every single day." Pedri says, and Gavi feels his heart fluttering.
He tries to look away, but Pedri's eyes were too honest for him to leave.
"Really?" Gavi asks, hitting himself for the pathetic question.
"Really." Pedri answers.
Gavi lets out a breath that he wasn't aware of that he was holding in.
He moves forward, letting Pedri embrace him as Gavi hides his face in his favourite space.
The crook of Pedri's neck.
"I just worry." Gavi whispers into his neck.
One of Pedri's hands hold the back of his neck.
It was a familiar touch, a grounding touch.
"I know, and I'll be here to remind you each time you worry." Pedri answers, kissing the top of Gavi's curls.
"I love you." Gavi mumbles into Pedri.
He wasn't sure exactly how many times he's said it, nor was he sure if he could count of many different situations they had been in when he uttered the words.
"I love you too." Pedri smiles into his curls.
Gavi feels himself relaxing.
It would be okay.
.
They arrive early for practice.
Pedri could probably sense Gavi's nerves, but he doesn't say anything.
Gavi was thankful.
He didn't want a pep-talk, he just wants to make sure that everything was back to normal.
They walk into the locker room and Gavi sits down by his cubby.
He pulls out his shoes, swallowing down his worry.
Some of the guys were already there, most of them chatting among themselves.
Gavi swallows before clearing his throat.
The others turn towards him, and Gavi forces himself to look at them.
"I just- I wanted to-" Gave stops himself, taking a slow breath.
"I just wanted to apologise for how I acted during the game. It wasn't fair to you guys, and I'm sorry." Gavi manages.
The team send him some nods along with some soft smiles.
"It's okay kid, we all know about your little rage issues. We're all thankful that Pedri drives you, the road rage you would have would probably kill us all." Araujo is the first to speak, walking forward.
He pats Gavi's head and Gavi huffs up at him.
The others loudly agrees and Gavi feels himself relaxing.
It was fine.
All of them were fine.
.
It wasn't fine.
Something was off.
Gavi had thought that it was fine.
He had apologised and it had seemed like the team had accepted his apology.
But things were different.
His teammates weren't as open to his physical affection anymore.
Fermín had dodged Gavi's hug during warm ups.
Dani had tensed up when Gavi had thrown his arms over his shoulders.
Even Eric had denied an embrace after a scored goal during practice.
None of them interacted with him with the same physical affection anymore.
There were no gentle embraces, no pats on his head or friendly pushes.
Gavi wasn't used to it.
He was someone who thrived off of physical affection, and he feels himself growing smaller without it.
He stops joking during training, he stops trying to achieve any sort of affectional touch with anyone.
He even tries to ignore Pedri.
The only person who actually treated him like normal, except for Robert.
"Nice job kid." The older smiles, patting Gavi's shoulder.
It was almost like normal.
Normally, Gavi would jump up in his arms and Lewandowski would catch him with a laugh.
Gavi sends him a small smile.
"Thanks." He says as they jog towards the rest of the team who were chilling during the water break.
"Good practice. I'll tell you the starting line now so we can practice for the game on Sunday." Xavi explains, pulling out his notebook.
"Ter Stegen in goal. Alba, Araujo, Christensen and Garcia as defenders. Pedri, De Jong and Olmo as midfielders. Víctor, Lewandowski and Raphinha as forwards." Xavi announces and Gavi feels himself shrinking.
Right.
He was benched for the game.
"Your regular positions. The other team will be Peña in goal. Cubarsí, Kounde, Martinez and Felipé in defence. López, Casadó and Torre as midfielders. Fati, Torres and Dembélé as forwards." Xavi continues, and the others immediately head towards the field.
Gavi slowly gets up, walking over to Xavi.
"You didn't say my name." Gavi states quietly.
Xavi sends him a firm look.
"You'll be with Heiko." Xavi answers and Gavi feels his shoulders fall.
He doesn't interject, only nods.
He could feel the others' looks, but he tries his best to ignore them.
It was fine.
He deserved it.
He turns to the assistant coach who gestures for him to follow.
It was fine.
.
The team had won.
Gavi felt the positive energy as they enters the locker room.
"Nicely done!" Marcus Sorg shouts as he enters the locker room.
The assistant coach had practically been beaming during the entire game.
Gavi smiles with the rest of the team, trying his best to not feel defeated.
He should be happy for the team.
He should be ecstatic, 4-1 win against Bilbao with no yellow cards.
Marc was going around high-fiving everyone.
Xavi enters, yelling something about a fantastic game.
Gavi tries to listen, but everything felt far away.
It was supposed to be for just one game, but maybe Xavi and the team would realise that Gavi wasn't necessary anymore.
He felt empty as they smile towards the camera.
His wrist keeps throbbing.
.
Pedri finds out.
They were just about to head out from the apartment when Pedri grabs Gavi's wrist to remind him to bring spare clothes for the dinner after.
Gavi immediately yelps, pulling away.
"Mi vida?" Pedri asks with concern, letting go of his bag.
"It's nothing, lets just head to practice before we're late." Gavi tries desperately.
Pedri stops him before he can get to the door.
"Gavi. Are you injured?" Pedri asks, eyeing Gavi's concealed wrist.
"No." Gavi answers fast.
Too fast.
Pedri grabs onto his forearm, gently but firmly pulling back Gavi's sleeve.
Pedri inhales sharply.
Gavi knows how it looks.
His wrist was painted in black and yellow bruising along with swelling.
"Pablo, this is serious." Pedri forces, his eyes still on Gavi's wrist.
Gavi tries to pull away but Pedri doesn't let go.
"It's fine, it barely hurts." Gavi lies.
"Why didn't you- it doesn't matter. I'm taking you to practice and the medics can look it over." Pedri announces, letting go of Gavi.
Gavi snatches his arm back.
"I don't need to get it checked, it's probably just a light sprain." Gavi snaps but Pedri doesn't seem to hear him.
Pedri grabs both of their bags, opening the apartment door.
Gavi is forced to follow, sitting down in the passenger seat of Pedri's car.
The car ride is quiet, neither one of them wanting to talk.
Pedri practically pushes Gavi into the building and the locker room.
Everyone was already there, chatting and joking.
Gavi tries to pull himself out of Pedri's grip, but Pedri doesn't budge.
"Hey, why the pouting kid?" Araujo comments.
"It's nothing, Pedri is just overreacting." Gavi mutters.
"Get Xavi and a medic in here." Pedri orders, pushing Gavi to sit down on a seat.
Pedri still doesn't let go, holding onto Gavi's shoulders.
Gavi feels rising panic that quickly turns into anger.
"Seriously! Get off of me!" Gavi snarls, finally managing to push Pedri off of him.
Gavi stands up, glaring at Pedri.
"What's your problem?! Just leave me alone." Gavi snarls, but Pedri's face was completely blank.
He grabs onto Gavi's upper arm when Gavi tries to move away.
Gavi immediately fights him, pushing him as he tries to pull away.
"Let go of me! Don't fucking-"
"Hey hey! What's going on between the two of you?" Robert asks, having hurried over to them.
"Yeah, I've never seen you two fight before." Ferran adds.
"Stay out of it!" Gavi snaps, fighting Pedri harder.
"I'm not letting go Pablo, calm down." Pedri forces but Gavi only grows more agitated.
"Calm down?! How am I supposed to calm down when you won't let go?!" Gavi shouts, pulling harder.
"What is going on in here?!" Xavi asks loudly.
Gavi grows still, looking over at Xavi.
The rest of the team were standing, each player staring at the scene unfolding.
"Nothing." Gavi immediately answers.
"He's injured." Pedri states, void of emotion.
"What? When did he-"
"Probably at the Villarreal game." Pedri interrupts Ferran.
"Well, how bad is it?" Xavi asks, arms crossed.
"It's nothing! Will everyone just fuck off? I'm fine!" Gavi growls, finally managing to push Pedri off of him.
"Where is he hurt?" Xavi asks, walking over to them.
"I'm not! Just leave me alone!" Gavi snarls, turning to pull out his shoes from his bag.
"It looks like a broken wrist." Pedri answers.
"Fucking-" Gavi turns towards Pedri, eyes now blazing with anger.
"What?!" Raised voices exclaim.
"It looks worse than it is, I'm fine. I can play, you told me that I would only be benched for one game. I'm allowed to train with the rest of the team now!"Gavi argues, looking over at Xavi.
A gentle hand grasps his shoulder.
Gavi's about to immediately shrug it off, but a gentle voice stops him.
"Let us just have a look kid, we're worried about you." Robert, practically his father figure, soothes.
"It's fine." Gavi tries, but he pulls his sleeve back, letting Robert and Xavi come close enough to inspect it.
"Shit." Xavi swears.
"It's not as bad as it looks! Just- please, you told me that I could play." Gavi pleads.
"Oh shit kid." Araujo states as the rest of the team come over to look.
"When did this happen?" Xavi asks harshly, still examining the black wrist.
"I just fell on it during the game, right before I got the red card." Gavi mutters under his breath.
"It's been over a week kid. You've been at three practices, how in the hell did you manage to train with this?" Xavi asks, eyes now boring into Gavi's.
"I told you, it's nothing. Can we please start the training now?" Gavi tries just as the medic enters.
Gavi immediately tenses, fighting against Robert's and Xavi's grip.
"Calm down kid, you need to get that checked out." Robert tries but Gavi only fights harder.
He wouldn't get benched again.
He was supposed to train.
He was supposed to get to train with the team now, actually playing with the others during the play-excercises.
"Gavira." Xavi tries with a dominant voice, but Gavi won't hear it.
"You promised! You promised me! I was supposed- you told me!" Gavi snarls, pushing harder.
"Kid, enough. You are going to let the medic check you out." Xavi states, letting the medic walk over to them.
Gavi feels tears in his eyes.
He looks at Xavi, betrayal full on his face.
Fucking stupid, he would always show his emotions on his sleeve.
"You promised me. You're a fucking liar! I knew that you didn't care about me, you just want an excuse to throw me off the team!" Gavi cries, angrily wiping away his tears.
An emotion passes through Xavi's face, but it's too fast for Gavi to be able to read into it.
"Gavi, that's not true. None of us wants you off the team." Araujo tries, but Gavi shakes his head harder.
"I knew it! None of you care about me anymore! I fucking knew it after the first fucking practise! Fine, I'll get checked out now so you can leave me alone!" Gavi sobs out, walking away from the others and into the physio room.
The medic doesn't say anything, and neither does his teammates.
The medic closes the door as Gavi lays down on the stretcher.
He lets the medic examine him, hearing the medic talk to himself.
"Well, you'll need an x-ray but it's definitely broken." The medic finally states and Gavi chews on his bottom lip.
"We can get you a ride to the hospital right away. Do you want someone to go with you?" He asks gently.
Gavi shakes his head.
"I'll go inform Xavi, stay here and I'll be right back."
Gavi throws his arm over his eyes, tears now fully falling from his face.
Broken sobs fill the room as Gavi feels himself falling apart.
This would be the end for him.
He would get kicked off the team, and he was sure that no other team would want him.
This was the end.
The door opens, but Gavi pays it no mind.
He continues sobbing, unable to stop himself.
"Kid, it's going to be okay." Robert's voice enters the room, and Gavi curls away from the door.
He wants to be left alone.
He wants them to lock the door and throw away the key.
Warm arms pulls him into a hug.
Gavi can't find any strength to fight them.
He sobs ugly loud sobs, hearing soft words in his ear.
"Shit, how bad is it?" Someone asks.
"Get out, he needs space." Lewa orders and Gavi hears the door closing.
Gavi knows that the others probably can hear him, and definitely see him through the window.
Gavi sobs louder.
He cries because he never knew how much it would hurt to know that he wouldn't play for Barca anymore.
He cries because he was so fucking stupid for getting hurt.
He cries because he knows that everything he had fought for his entire life was over.
"Kid, you need to breathe." Robert tries, but Gavi can't focus on him.
He grows dizzy, and he hears Robert yelling something.
The door opens again and Robert's arms leave him.
Gavi immediately curls up again.
He could feel tears and snot on his face.
"Cariño."
Gavi shakes his head, hiding his face in the crook of his elbow.
Someone lays down on the stretched behind him.
He's turned and a gentle hand guides his face into a strong chest.
Arms envelope him, one hand going to the back of his head.
"It's going to be okay cariño. I'm here."
Gavi sobs louder, clutching Pedri's shirt, because of course Pedri would come.
Pedri always came when Gavi needed him.
"I know, I know." Pedri soothes as he keeps caressing Gavi's hair.
"I- I-" Gavi can't form any words, sobbing against Pedri.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been so cold against you. I was worried, and angry at myself for not realising sooner, but I'm here now. I won't leave you." Pedri promises as Gavi pushes his face further into Pedri's chest.
He can feel Pedri's heartbeat through his shirt.
Gavi tries to focus on it.
Pedri's heartbeat always seemed to calm him down.
His sobs slowly die down.
"I'm here, I won't leave you again." Pedri whispers into his hair.
"Fix it- please- please-" Gavi cries.
He knows it's unfair.
Pedri can't help him, Pedri can't fix this.
But Gavi was selfish.
It was one of his biggest flaws, and yet Pedri continues to hold him.
"I will. I'll fix this Pablo." Pedri promises.
Gavi knows that it's a lie, but he's too tired to ignore it.
He's too pathetic, he makes himself believe it.
He tries to believe that Pedri could fix it, because he knows that Pedri can fix anything.
He feels himself slumping, completely relaxed against Pedri.
"Is he asleep?" Someone asks quietly, Gavi realises that it's Robert.
He can feel Pedri nodding.
"Shit, how did we miss this?" Marc asks sounding guilty.
Gavi could hear the team filtering into the room, but he stays pliant against Pedri with his eyes closed.
"You've been acting like jerks the entire week." Pedri bites out sharply.
Gavi frowns, Pedri never snaps at the team.
He barely snaps at opposite players.
"We- we haven't been-"
"Oh please. None of you have acted like normal, you've been rejecting him every practice." Pedri interrupts, voice still sharp.
There were quiet sighs, no one argued.
"We messed up." Dani sighs.
"How do we fix this?" Ferran asks.
"You apologise and make him realise that you mean it." Pedri answers, the sharpness of his voice had disappeared.
He sounded tired.
"He's still crying." Frenkie says.
"Can you blame him?" Araujo snaps.
"Quiet!" Pedri snarls.
Gavi shudders and Pedri immediately strokes his back, kissing his curls.
"It's okay, I'm still here." Pedri soothes.
"I'm sorry." Gavi whispers, keeping his eyes closed.
"Kid you have nothing to apologise for, it's our fault. We're sorry for treating you like this." Raphinha answers gently.
Gavi's too tired to argue, he only buries his face into Pedri's chest again.
"Sleep, we'll be here." Robert says comfortingly.
"Don't leave." Gavi pleads to Pedri.
"I won't. I won't leave you again." Pedri promises as he strokes his back.
Gavi is soothed back to sleep.
.
Gavi's called into Xavi's office a week after the incident.
He had gotten a cast after his trip to the hospital.
Pedri hadn't left his side, comforting Gavi the entire time.
Pedri knows exactly how much Gavi hates hospitals.
Gavi hadn't dared to go back to Camp Nou and Pedri hadn't forced him.
"I can stay with you." Pedri says when they stand outside of Xavi's office.
Gavi shakes his head.
"It's fine, you've missed a week of practice." Gavi answers.
Pedri gently grabs Gavi's face, giving him a soft kiss on his cheek.
"I'll come right back if something happens." Pedri promises before letting Gavi step into Xavi's office.
"Gavi." Xavi greets him.
Gavi closes the door behind him, sitting down in one of the chairs in front of Xavi's desk.
"How are you feeling?" Xavi asks, seeming genuine.
"I'm- better. They gave me some painkillers for the pain." Gavi answers, kicking himself.
Of course painkillers were for pain, he didn't need to specify that.
Stupid.
Xavi nods.
"I'm glad."
Gavi stays quiet, not daring to look at Xavi.
The room grows quiet.
"Listen Gavi-"
"I just-"
Both stop.
"You go first." Xavi says and Gavi nods.
He takes a deep breath before starting.
"I know why I'm here coach. I just want to get it over with, so just tell me." Gavi says quietly.
"And exactly why do you think you're here?" Xavi asks, and Gavi finally dares to look up at him.
"You're kicking me off the team." Gavi answers.
Xavi lets out a deep sigh, a hand going through his hair.
"Gavi, I'm not kicking you off the team. I wanted you to come because I wanted to apologise. I never meant for this to happen. It's my responsibility as coach to realise when one of my players are hurting. I'm sorry for not realising what you were going through." Xavi's voice was firm and yet gentle.
It was a rare occurence.
"I-" Gavi doesn't know what to say.
"I should've made it more clear for you about your meaning to this team. You are an important part of this team, both on and off the field. You have a great technique and understanding of the game, you bring joy and a great energy wherever you go. I should've realised that you needed to hear that." Xavi says, voice still a balance between firm and gentle.
Gavi stays quiet.
It wasn't often that Xavi gave out praise.
"I mean it. You're not replacable Gavi, you're needed on this team." Xavi continues.
"I- I thought that you were going to-" Gavi trails off.
"I know, and I wish that you didn't think that I would kick you off. I admit that I get angry at times, but I do it because I care about you and I care about this team. When I talk about the team, I talk about you as well. I don't want you to get hurt, and especially not when you're going up against players double your age." Xavi says, eyes full of genuine sadness.
Gavi nods slowly.
"It- it's not your fault coach. I'm- my head gets weird sometimes. I- I'm trying to work on my anger and the other stuff." Gavi explains and Xavi nods.
"I know that you do, and I want you to know that I appreciate that. It's not easy, I know that. You're a young player, there is going to be some angry moments." Xavi answers easily.
Gavi gives him a small nod, feeling a bit lighter.
"How long did the doctors give you?" Xavi asks, and Gavi shrugs.
"They told me that I could train since I've got a cast, they'll take it off in five weeks."
Xavi nods.
"Well then, what are we waiting for?" Xavi asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Huh?" Gavi asks, his face full of confusion.
"I thought you told me that you wanted to train? Practice starts in ten minutes." Xavi states.
Gavi feels a smile slowly entering his face.
"Really?" He asks, feeling giddy.
"If you feel up to it." Xavi shrugs, standing up.
Gavi immediately copies him.
"Yeah! Yeah I'm-" Gavi lets out a low groan.
"I didn't bring any training clothes, not even my cleats." Gavi says, his whole body growing with disappointment.
Xavi nods.
"Well I guess you're lucky that we have extra." Xavi smirks.
Gavi immediately grins.
"Really?" He asks for a second time.
"Yeah kid." Xavi says.
Gavi can't stop himself from rushing up and hugging Xavi.
"Thank you thank you thank you!" Gavi smiles widely and Xavi hugs him back before gently slapping his head.
"Come on, you'll have to run twenty laps if you're late." Xavi states.
Gavi practically bolts out of the office, rushing towards the locker room.
He immediately spots Pedri.
Gavi jumps him, giving him a bone crushing hug.
"I'm staying on the team! I even get to train today! Xavi- he told me that I get to stay!" Gavi announces, laughing against Pedri.
Gavi was practically vibrating with energy.
Pedri hugs him back.
"I'm happy for you." Pedri smiles.
"Gavi!"
"Kiddo!"
"Little shit face!"
Gavi turns to see the rest of the players standing up.
Gavi immediately tenses, unsure of the situation.
Araujo gets up, walking over to them.
"Get in you little shit." Araujo smiles with his arms out.
Gavi immediately grins, rushing up as he jumps up in his arms.
"Atta boy." Marc smiles, walking over to them.
"We missed you." Ferran says and Gavi sends him a smile.
"I missed you too."
.
Gavi was running in circles, laughing as he tried his best to squirt water on Fermín.
"Gavi, did anyone ever tell you what a water break actually is?" Dani shouts.
Gavi shrugs, taking the opportunity to squirt water right in Fermín's face.
Fermín lets out a shout, suddenly turning as he starts chasing Gavi.
Gavi lets out a loud laugh, immediately running towards Lewandowski.
"Save me! I'm practically your son!" Gavi screams, jumping up on Lewy's shoulders.
"Punta." Araujo chuckles to his left, slapping Gavi's head.
Gavi sees Xavi heading over towards them.
"Are you done with your water fight? It's a week left until your cast can come off, don't make it two." Xavi says, rolling his eyes with a fond look.
Gavi jumps down from Lewy's shoulders.
"He can't help himself, he's just a baby." Eric points out, getting Gavi in a headlock before ruffling his hair.
Gavi squeals, trying to get away.
"Gentlemen, lets stop harrassing our youngster and focus on football." Xavi interrupts and Eric lets go of Gavi.
"Alright starting line up. Midfielders are Pedri, Gavi and López, defenders are-"
Gavi doesn't hear the rest.
He immediately beams and once Xavi is done he sprints onto the field.
"Kid save your energy!" Ferran shouts after him.
"I don't need to, I'm not as old as you grandpa." Gavi shouts back and immediately regrets it when Ferran charges after him.
Fuck, he was finally back.
Back home.