Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Darkness. Cold, dead darkness filled the air of the empty void. Particles of chilling crystalized vapor, formed from heavy breaths, echoed in the vast vacuum. The icicles, upon birth, rapidly floated towards a central point that swirled and swirled until nothing remained.

At the epicenter was a bright green light that strobed as it formed a spiral within the black hole that consumed all in the range of infinity. All except one.

You continued to float, motionless in front of the black hole like you always did. Your heavy breaths like clockwork formed ice shards that immediately made their home in the green and black monster that consumed your world.

Or was it really your world? If it were to be your world, then that would mean that you belonged in the first place. That there would be a purpose to you being there in the first place. Thinking your world being a place of torment and suffering that perpetuated the pain that had been inflicted upon you your whole life was an absurd idea.

No, it wasn’t your world.

A chilled wind blew through your hair as more and more began to enter the proximity of the ever growing beast in front of your eyes. You couldn’t look away or move the hair from your face. All you could do was stare.

Your emerald green eyes matched the piercing lime that enveloped every last bit of your being; yet, through it all, it didn’t pull you in. It didn’t drag you kicking and screaming like it’d done every last bit of your world. No! Stop it! Not your world!

It took everything you had left: your friends, your family, even the small wonders that kept you stable in the long days and nights that continued to beat you down one by one. An infinity that you had to grow accustomed to. But even this calamity couldn’t free you like it’d done everyone else.

Their heroic sacrifices and just deaths carried them on to a world beyond. You weren’t sure what that world was - but you knew that it was better than the limbo that held you captive.

Despite it all, you couldn’t bring yourself to cry. Before, it felt effortless to let the liquids pool up in your eyes and drain onto your face. For some reason, now more than ever, you had no reason to feel emotion. You were a lifeless husk of a human being. It was just more of the same.

You were the loneliest girl in the universe.

You were Jade Harley.

Jade’s eyes fluttered open, awakening her to the ceiling that filled her vision. In the darkness, it almost felt like it was black rather than the lighter gray that she recalled it being. Though, the details didn’t matter much with her blurry vision, clouded by years of cone deterioration and, of course, the tears that ran down her face.

She slowly sat up and felt the cushions of the couch on her left arm. Her tail slowly moved into a comfortable position while her body turned to properly sit. When her feet touched the ground, a pile of her dirty clothes rubbed against her toes.

Letting out a sigh, she hugged her pillow and took a deep breath.

It was that stupid dream again…

She lamented her recurring dream that repeatedly haunted her every night. Like clockwork, when she went to sleep, she’d always have the same nightmare before waking up in the middle of the night. It would take hours to finally go back to sleep; though, after a while, she saw it best to not even bother going back to sleep.

Tears poured from her eyes and splashed onto the rock hard pillow like water balloons, drenching it more than it had already attained from the sweat of her prior sleep.

JADE: why…
JADE: why wont it stop…

She blubbered in a soft mumbled voice. It was hard to air her emotions while being respectful to her friends who let her lodge while she looked towards the next thing. Well, they didn’t exactly let her stay out of the kindness of their hearts. She practically begged to sleep on their couch on her latest bout of couch surfing. Despite that though, a part of her wondered if this would be the last time she’d need to move.

Her head shook violently as the thought passed through her head.

Of course not! This is just you trying to get in their pants again, Jade!

Her self awareness had unfortunately run counter to the biological urges that plagued her every being. It was an urge that she needed to satiate in any way possible, but when everything was said and done, she never could settle with anyone that could assist her.

Light thumps quietly echoed from behind the couch, alerting Jade’s doggy ears to a presence nearby. They made their way in the direction of the kitchen, which then faintly glowed with soft white light.

Realizing that maybe a glass of water could help, Jade grabbed her glasses from the coffee table and put them upon her face as she walked towards the light.

She squinted her eyes, taken aback by the brightness that glowed from the refrigerator, only slightly blocked by a silhouette of a man with baggy pajama pants and an oversized t-shirt. However, as soon as the light had offended her pupils, it faded away with a loud clap.

In its wake, the silhouette fully formed to a familiar face that looked at her with a slight smirk.

DAVE: cant sleep either huh?
JADE: yeah :(
DAVE: karkats doing his loud ass snoring thing that he insists isnt a fucking thing
DAVE: ive filmed him doing it but he just deflects it saying its my heavy fucking breathing
DAVE: jade be honest with me
DAVE: do i breath loud
JADE: uh no
JADE: i dont think so
JADE: at least not that i know anyways
DAVE: exactly
DAVE: whatever
DAVE: nothing says good nights sleep like a bottle of alchemized aj
DAVE: which gotta say rose really figured this shit out
DAVE: its spot fucking on

Dave took a swig of his bottle of apple juice. After he finished his sip, he rubbed his mouth with his hand and adjusted his sunglasses. Jade just looked at him, awkwardly standing in the doorway without a thing to say.

Suddenly, the bottle was in her face, Dave’s smirk growing to something that resembled a genuine smile.

DAVE: want a sip?
DAVE: we got basically infinite of this shit
DAVE: maybe itll help with whatevers keepin you up

Jade slightly smiled and took him up on the offer. The slightly spicy, sweet liquid washed across her tongue, sending a calmness down her spine that she could barely describe. After mimicking Dave’s finishing gesture after her sip, she passed the bottle back to him.

JADE: thanks
JADE: i
JADE: really needed that
DAVE: no problem
DAVE: since it looks like were both probably not gonna sleep for a sec
DAVE: looks like someone needs a little feelings jam
JADE: im fine dave i promise!
DAVE: i heard you sobbing when i came down
DAVE: were talking about this shit whether you like it or not
JADE: dave i think id rather just go back to sleep
DAVE: too late harely
DAVE: the feelings jam has just started
DAVE: get in your fucking places cuz were about to do some crazy ass therapy

Jade chuckled and decided that perhaps a talk with Dave wouldn’t be such a bad idea.

The two made their way to the couch where Jade grabbed her pillow and brought her feet in front of her on the couch. Dave, conversely, sat down on the opposite side with his legs crossed, staring Jade down through his opaque looking black shades and swirling the apple juice bottle in his hand.

DAVE: give me the low down
DAVE: youre bawling your eyes out on my couch almost every night
DAVE: why
JADE: first off its not every night!
DAVE: ive been doing midnight aj runs for the last few weeks
DAVE: i hear you crying
DAVE: tell me why
JADE: im sorry if im making it even harder for you to sleep :(
DAVE: jade for fucks sake
DAVE: stop dodging shit
DAVE: tell me whats up
JADE: o-ok…
JADE: ive been having these dreams recently where a black hole eats up all of earth c and im always the last one left to watch it happen
JADE: everyone dies and i just have to float and wait for it all to end
JADE: but…
JADE: its kinda worse than that cuz in the dream everyones fighting
JADE: so its not like on the other side everyone will be ok
JADE: and i just have to be there alone

As Jade recounted her dream, she started choking up, tears streaming down her face. She tried to stop herself by holding her breath and rubbing the fluid from her eyesockets.

JADE: s-sorry…
JADE: fuck
JADE: i shouldnt be talking about this cuz its my problem
DAVE: jade
JADE: im sorry dave…
DAVE: jade! fuck!
DAVE: its ok
DAVE: thats a crazy ass dream
DAVE: sorry you have to deal with that shit
DAVE: im sure thats traumatizing as hell
JADE: yeah…
DAVE: im gonna guess you havent talked to rose about it yet

Jade shook her head.

DAVE: im not gonna act like an expert
DAVE: but im definitely not qualified to interpret dreams like that
DAVE: and believe me karkat absolutely isnt either lol
JADE: lol
JADE: it would be funny to hear him try to find something out of it
JADE: “IT MEANS YOU NEED TO GET OFF YOUR ASS AND DO SOMETHING.” “but karkat you sit on your ass all day!” “WELL YOU’RE PART DOG SO IT’S DIFFERENT. DO WHAT DOGS DO OR WHATEVER.”
DAVE: your karkat impression is spot on
DAVE: at this point im surprised you dont fuck with him doing it
JADE: oh dont worry heehee
JADE: i have my plans

Jade winked at Dave who just let out a small laugh.

JADE: but yeah youre right
JADE: ill try and see if rose is free to talk tomorrow
JADE: maybe she knows whats up
DAVE: heres hoping theyre not having a rosemary day
JADE: rosemary day?
DAVE: yknow some gay lesbian date day bullshit
JADE: oh you mean like rose and kanaya having a day for themselves
DAVE: ye
JADE: where does rosemary come into this
DAVE: jade
JADE: what?
DAVE: jade harley
JADE: what???
DAVE: cmon its right there
DAVE: the name
JADE: i dont know what youre talking about
DAVE: youre fucking with me
DAVE: i can see that little smile
JADE: im serious!!!
DAVE: jade youre practically laughing holy shit
DAVE: youre awful at lying
DAVE: you know what it means
JADE: i doooont
DAVE: tell me jade
DAVE: what does it mean
DAVE: cuz i know you know
JADE: i swear to god i dont!
DAVE: then why are you laughing???
JADE: cuz youre being really funny!
JADE: i dont know!
JADE: just tell me!

Dave disappointedly shook his head with a smirk. Jade barely held back her further laughter.

DAVE: fine
DAVE: yknow rose right
JADE: yeah lol
DAVE: and kanayas last name is maryanne or some shit
JADE: maryam but yeah
DAVE: so boom rosemary
JADE: oooooooh!
JADE: thats really creative! :D
JADE: i didnt know you were into ship names like that dave!
DAVE: im not
DAVE: i just needed a short hand to talk about those two
JADE: thats literally what a ship name is lol
DAVE: whatever
DAVE: not important
JADE: whatever you say dave heehee

In their back and forth, they didn’t realize how close they’d gotten. Jade had moved almost the entire couch towards Dave, who had remained planted the whole time.

After Jade had finished talking, silence filled the air as her eyes practically glistened in the dark living room that housed the two friends. Upon instinct, Jade brought herself even closer to Dave, her face rapidly approaching his. She saw her reflection in his sunglasses, letting her imagine the beautiful eyes behind them.

DAVE: jade

Jade was immediately snapped out of her trance and brought herself a few inches back from Dave, looking away embarrassed.

JADE: sorry dave :(
JADE: i dont know what came over me
DAVE: its fine
DAVE: you have those dog hormones or whatever that makes you do shit like that
DAVE: im used to it
JADE: i just dont wanna make you uncomfortable
JADE: im afraid that someday im just gonna go over the line and youre gonna accept it
JADE: ill be this horrible person for forcing you into something you dont want
DAVE: jade listen
DAVE: if im gonna kiss you itll be cuz i let it happen
DAVE: but right now im just not feeling that way
DAVE: theres a lot of shit goin on up here

He pointed to his head.

JADE: i understand

From behind the two of them, loud stomps filled the house as another person approached. From around the corner two horns stuck out alongside a bed of unkempt hair.

KARKAT: FOR FUCKS SAKE.
KARKAT: CAN’T YOU TWO KEEP IT DOWN?
KARKAT: SOME PEOPLE NEED THEIR BEAUTY SLEEP!

Dave and Jade looked at Karkat behind them.

JADE: hi karkat!
DAVE: youre one to talk asshole
DAVE: your loud ass snoring is why im down here
KARKAT: OH REALLY? MY ALLEGED SNORING IS WHY YOU TWO ARE DOING FLUSHED BULLSHIT DOWNSTAIRS? IS THAT IT?
DAVE: for the record
DAVE: nothing is going on here
DAVE: second of all
DAVE: bro i have this shit recorded on my phone right now
DAVE: do you wanna here it?
DAVE: cuz i can pull it up right fucking now
KARKAT: I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT BECAUSE IT IS FAKE BULLSHIT. YOUR HEARING DRUMS ARE BROKEN AND I’M SURE A TRIP TO CROCKER WILL MAKE YOU STOP IMAGINING FAKE GROANS COMING FROM YOUR OWN HEAD.
JADE: im gonna be honest karkat im with dave on this one
JADE: you are kinda loud all the time in general
KARKAT: NO INPUT FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY HARLEY
KARKAT: THIS IS PURELY A DISCUSSION BETWEEN ME AND STRIDER
KARKAT: YOU ARE NOT FORCED TO SLEEP IN THE SAME RESPITEBLOCK AS THIS RAVING LUNATIC WHO HEARS THINGS THAT DON’T EXIST.
JADE: i meaaaaan
KARKAT: IF IT MEANS THIS ASSHOLE STOPS BITCHING I’M NOT AGAINST THE IDEA OF YOU TWO SWAPPING.
DAVE: bro you cant just say that
DAVE: this is our house man
DAVE: its our bedroom
KARKAT: WELL YOU SEEM VERY WELCOMING OF OUR SUPPOSED GUEST WHO PRACTICALLY LIVES WITH US AT THIS POINT
KARKAT: MAYBE YOU DO DESERVE COUCH DUTY FOR ALL YOUR BULLSHIT
DAVE: idk maybe you should take the couch given how much time you spend with your ass planted on it all waking hours of the day
KARKAT: AND YOU SLEEP IN THE SAME BEDROOM AS JADE WHO YOU’VE EXPLICITLY STATED YOU WANT TO HAVE SEPARATE LODGING FROM?
JADE: what????
DAVE: again youre misrepresenting me here
DAVE: ill buy you some pills or whatever to suppress your snore if you dont want to sleep in the living room
KARKAT: YES AND YOU’LL BITCH TO ME ABOUT HOW A CERTAIN SOMEONE CAN’T KEEP HER PAWS OFF YOU.
JADE: karkat why are you being mean :(
DAVE: yeah man whats your deal
DAVE: jade and i had our shit sorted out
DAVE: we have a dialogue and shit

Karkat looked at the two of them and eventually took a deep breath. His original anger had slowly softened to a much deeper regret.

KARKAT: SORRY…
KARKAT: I HAVEN’T BEEN SLEEPING WELL.
KARKAT: I PROBABLY SHOULDN’T BE RUNNING MY MOUTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT.
KARKAT: SORRY IF I WAS INSINUATING THAT YOU WERE A SLUT, JADE. YOU’RE FINE.
JADE: uh thanks karkat
JADE: i was kinda gonna forgive you anyways
KARKAT: I WONDER WH- I MEAN YEAH I FIGURED.
KARKAT: ALSO DAVE.
DAVE: sup
KARKAT: LET’S TRY THOSE PILLS.
KARKAT: I MIGHT ACTUALLY BE SNORING AND THAT’S PROBABLY FUCKING WITH MY SLEEP.
KARKAT: …
KARKAT: AND YOURS.
DAVE: sick
DAVE: ill drop by the pharmacy in the morning then
DAVE: i need to get more shit anyways
DAVE: getting a bit tired of alchemized food
KARKAT: YOU’RE JUST GOING TO BUY CUP RAMEN.
DAVE: listen real cup ramen is leagues better than alchemized ramen
JADE: i agree lol
KARKAT: WHATEVER. AS LONG AS YOU GET THOSE DAMN PILLS.

Karkat pulled out his phone and looked at the time before looking back at his friends.

KARKAT: I’M GOING BACK TO BED.
KARKAT: YOU TWO KEEP IT DOWN IF YOU’RE ACTUALLY PLANNING ON MAKING OUT.
DAVE: dude
DAVE: im gonna head back up in a sec
DAVE: jade probably wants more sleep too

Dave looked at Jade who took a moment to think. Was she really going to get more sleep? Or was the sudden bout of loneliness going to consume her once again and return her to the sobbing wreck that previously inhabited this room prior to Dave’s arrival.

JADE: i might go for a walk
JADE: who knows

Dave stood up and stretched.

DAVE: well do whatever
DAVE: i need some shut eye

He downed the rest of his apple juice bottle and slammed it on the coffee table next to the dozens of others just like it.

KARKAT: GOOD NIGHT, JADE.
KARKAT: ENJOY YOUR WALK IF YOU DO. SLEEP WELL IF YOU DON’T.
JADE: thank you! <3
DAVE: yeah night jade
DAVE: remember to talk to rose tomorrow kay?
JADE: will do!
JADE: good night dave! good night karkat!

Before her eyes, Karkat and Dave vanished upstairs, leaving her to sit in the dark living room alone once again. Unlike before, her heart felt full; something about talking with them filled her with a sense of happiness that she couldn’t properly describe.

Yes, she still had a crush on both of them. She had tried to get with them and even tried to get them with each other, but that was something that is mostly tabled for now. Though, it was still a struggle not to flirt with them.

Jade eventually stood up and stretched. What she needed right now was some fresh air. There was no need to try and fall asleep again when prior experience would dictate that her attempt would result in failure like always.

Slowly, she approached the front door where she slipped on her slippers. Her tail uncontrollably wagged as if there was some sort of excitement of going on a little walk. Despite it being years at this point, there were some sensations of being part dog she could never control.

When she grabbed the knob, she felt energy pulse through her body like electricity through a circuit. From the handle to her arm and back again, there was this feeling that something was happening that she couldn’t quite put her finger on.

It didn’t matter, however. What she needed more than anything right now was to breathe.

Chapter Text

The chilling midnight breeze ran itself through Jade’s hip-length hair as the faint chirps of grasshoppers whispered into her ears. Light groans of distant cars periodically echoed in the air, filling the brisk early morning with a character unto its own.

Jade slightly shivered as she walked the perfectly paved sidewalks through the quiet, grassy boulevard that Karkat and Dave lived on. She found herself crossing her arms over her chest and gripping the straps of her white tank top, hoping that any amount of coverage would relieve her of the seemingly poor decision of walking so early.

Her tail anxiously wagged back and forth, stopping and starting, letting a mixture of her thoughts and the early morning chills dominate her being. A part of her realized she should probably put something more comfortable on – but the risk of using her space powers in public might draw in too much unneeded attention.

Why do I have to be a god? Why can’t I just be a normal person and manifest clothes on myself? Is that such a crime?

Even despite her internal hesitation, a part of her also wondered what was even the issue of displaying herself as a god in public. Who cares if you make a sweater in the middle of the night? That’s not drawing any attention, right?

This battle of thoughts waged on as the chills continued to run through her spine; goosebumps formed on her soft skin, sinking the cold further and further in her body. She felt it dig deeper and deeper, practically freezing her body in place while the wind picked up. It flowed in front of her like a powerful storm, practically magnetizing any and all towards it.

When Jade closed her eyes, she could see the black hole in front of her once again. Its splendor trumping all else in her imagination, locking her thoughts in on that one moment. A moment she was all too familiar with.

In an instant, Jade stopped in her tracks and her eyes shot open. Her pupils shook as tears began to form in her eyelids. There wasn’t a choice any longer.

Jade held out her arms and closed her eyes, letting her hands glow with green light; as she held her focus, the wind grew stronger around her, creating almost a vortex of dust that slowly gained physical form around her arms.

With one deep breath in and out, a black hoodie fully manifested on her body, sporting a nostalgic space symbol across its chest. The plush, cotton interior instantly soothed the former chills that had once plagued her. While there was still some cold left to fight, the covering was more than enough to counter the debilitating sensations she previously endured.

JADE: thats better…

Jade mumbled to herself as a smile washed across her face; she let out a couple of her teeth to goofily savor the feeling of satisfaction that filled her. It felt nice to finally use her space powers again, even if for just a moment.

It felt like for years they were growing stronger, yet she felt more and more discomforted while using them. People kept seeing her differently; they would view her displaying her powers and flock to her in awe.

The attention felt nice for a while, but over time, people began to only see her as a god rather than the human that she was. Enough was finally enough, and she decided she would never use her powers outside of flight in public ever again.

So now, finally letting some of that pent up energy out into the open, it felt like the frostbitten cage that had trapped her had finally melted into a sea of comfort. Things felt so nice that she decided to close her eyes as she walked the path, letting her body guide her.

No longer did the strobing green tattoo itself onto her eyelids. She could just see the empty space that guided her to her mind, where small pleasures could once again manifest.

Yes, old days of watching shows illegally on her lunchtop and cuddling with Bec by the fire entered her memory once again. Finally, she could be happy and enjoy a nice change of pace.

???: No way!!!
???: You must 6e the w1tch of 2pace!

Jade’s eyes opened, panicked, as she looked to her side to see a troll boy who looked no older than thirteen.

JADE: oh um
JADE: what makes you think that?
???: Hmm well…

The boy put his hand on his chin before giving a wide, brimming smile.

???: You d1d that really cool th1ng where you made clothe2 out of du2t!
???: Also uh you have that 2pace th1ngy on your jacket.

Jade looked down again and let out a deep sigh. Of course, in her comfort she had forgotten to implement one last precaution.

JADE: i dont know what youre talking about
JADE: im just going for a walk!
JADE: i-im just a normal human dog girl enjoying the morning!
???: You dont have to h1de anyth1ng from me m2 w1tch!
???: 1 th1nk youre really cool! >:D
JADE: please just
JADE: let me walk
JADE: i dont really like being called something im not
JADE: the witch of space is just a huge inspiration of mine!
JADE: plus a kid like you should be sleeping
JADE: youre a growing boy!
JADE: you should be in bed!
???: For one of our god2 1 d1dnt th1nk youd not know that troll2 prefer the n1ght m2 w1tch
JADE: i-
JADE: yknow what
JADE: im going home
JADE: please
JADE: leave me alone…
???: 1m 2orry…
???: 1s 1t 2ometh1ng 1 2a1d?

Jade stared at the boy and struggled to contain herself. Why did he have to bother her? Why couldn’t she just have peace and quiet?

Without another word, Jade lifted off of her feet and began flying far into the air, leaving a trail of droplets that sprinkled in the air like stardust. The troll boy’s glance followed her until she was no longer visible in the night.

Nearly above the clouds, Jade hovered in silence, starting to shiver at her new altitude. She had reminded herself as to why she never bothered going out anymore, even at night.

She took off her glasses and attempted to rub her eyes dry. What she needed more than anything right now was comfort. Unfortunately, the dead of darkness was simply no place to solve such a problem.

Jade eventually descended onto the roof of a building where the neighborhood split off into the active city. Sure, more noises of cars and bustling individuals filled her ears – but a part of that was comforting compared to the deafening silence that reminded her of that dream.

She made herself at home, curling up into a ball against the building’s roof access stairway and pulled out her phone. To no one’s surprise, not a single person was active on PesterChum. Not even the insomniac Dirk was available.

He may not have been the best option to talk to, but he would have at least been an option—someone she could say a few things and catch up with rather than provide true comfort. Even then, anything would've been better than nothing.

Eventually, Jade resigned herself to scrolling social media, trying to find something to keep her busy while she waited for the sun to rise. Humorous joke comics and heart melting animal videos provided light jolts of dopamine, but nothing could fill that void that was rapidly growing within her.

Perhaps, that lack of energy was to her benefit as she slowly began to doze off. Her eyes blinked slower and slower until one final closing of her eyes led to her slumping over, completely falling asleep.

You stood in front of a strange building. It was unlike anything you’d seen prior on Earth C. Something about the architecture felt almost archaic relative to the more sanitized chic you were used to.

Looking around, you found yourself seeing a parking lot that stretched far in front of the building and to its left, while the right hand side held a pathway that declined modestly before curling around to a spiked rock formation.

The obvious hadn’t quite hit you yet, but a part of you didn’t want it to. Something about this place was more welcoming than that hellscape you had been subjected to time and time again.

Though, what stuck out more than anything were the figures that began to enter the building. They looked like large robotic animals with strangely shiny plastic shells covering them; they moved slowly, step by step, into the open doors, welcoming themselves into somewhere completely unlike them.

You couldn’t help but slowly follow behind, curious as to where this place truly was. As you and the robotic animals entered the door, one of them turned to you, staring at you with empty black eyes and sharp white teeth. It’s smile sent a shiver down your spine as you tried to keep your calm in front of the admittedly curvy animatronic.

Before long, it turned back and continued to walk with its friends into the lobby. As they eventually moved out of the way, you could finally see the interior.

It was a mixture of an old wooden mansion paired with a comforting decor of a coffee house. Something about it made it feel like… home. You couldn’t help but glue your eyes to all the different pieces of artwork and books that littered the walls. They weren’t particularly organized, though one could argue the cluttered nature made it feel cozier than if they were perfectly displayed.

However, something eventually caught your eye near the corner; by the left side doorway stood a girl with large round glasses. You couldn’t put your finger on why, but somehow you knew who she was. Her long black hair flowed to her shoulders while her body seemed familiar, yet different to what you’d remembered. Something in her eyes made it seem like she knew you as well.

Without even thinking, you and her ran towards each other and embraced, feeling the warmness of each other as you both squeezed as hard as you could. When you both eventually released, your eyes locked, feeling a moment of connection you couldn’t ignore. Both of your mouths opened, begging to speak.

BOTH: jade...

Chapter Text

???: ma’aM
???: ma’aM!
???: wakE uP!

Jade jolted awake as she looked around the top of the now sun-lit building, eventually laying her eyes on a troll man with a handlebar mustache and dark blue overalls that covered his lime green shirt.

???: goG I thoughT you’D neveR wakE uP
JADE: i uh
JADE: im sorry!
???: yoU knoW yoU can’T jusT sleeP herE, righT? thiS iS privatE propertY!
???: bE glaD I didn’T calL thE policE oN yoU.
JADE: i didnt mean to fall asleep i swear!
JADE: i just needed a little privacy
JADE: sorry for loitering!

Jade stood up and adjusted her glasses.

JADE: ill get out of your hair
JADE: im sorry sir!

Before the man could get another word in, Jade took to the bright blue sky and flew back towards Dave and Karkat’s house. She felt embarrassed for falling asleep on top of a building, but there was something nice about finally getting some more rest after weeks of endless overnight torment.

Though, something about her dream made her feel strange. Why did seeing that girl make her feel… happy? No, the word happy would be an understatement for the sensations that ran through her dream body. Of course, said feelings were much more muted compared to that of her prior experience as her dream self, but the semantics were meaningless given that the sensations were so powerful that they felt normal in what was supposed to be a dream.

She didn’t know why that girl was familiar, but she just knew that she reminded herself of someone. Though, dramatic irony could make one deduce this fact quite easily – yet Jade quite obviously was ignoring this implication in favor of confusion that continued to confound her as she floated through the air.

Eventually, she stopped and pulled out her phone. To her surprise, her brother John was online! She couldn’t remember the last time he had logged into PesterChum. Was it years at this point? She decided that, above all else, she had to message him.

– gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 10:45am –

GG: jooooohn!
EB: hi jade!
GG: youre really online!
GG: it feels like forever since weve talked!
EB: oh huh? i guess it has.
EB: the days kinda blend together after a while.
GG: whatcha been up too :B
EB: not much really.
EB: just staying at home, hanging out with the salamanders, and watching movies and stuff.
EB: also just doing a lot of bed rotting lol.
GG: well itd be nice to see you actually go online once in a while
GG: no one has heard from you since your last birthday!
GG: and that was just cuz jake had to relay a message to everyone!
EB: sorry jade!
EB: im just dealing with a lot of stuff.
EB: kinda hard to be active while im busy.
GG: busy doing what? moping in bed?
GG: cmon sleepyhead theres more to life than being in bed all the time
EB: no comment.
GG: what the fuck is that supposed to mean????
EB: i said no comment!
GG: whatever
GG: we should meet up! i feel like itd be nice to catch up with my little bro after all these years!
EB: we are siblings arent we haha.
EB: i kinda forget about that sometimes.
GG: what you dont want me calling you my little bro?
EB: no no its fine.
EB: its just one of those things i don’t actively think about since we’ve all been close friends for so long.
EB: like i forget that jane is technically nanna.
EB: but i kinda dont see her that way?
EB: she’s just kinda a girl that’s like nanna and still related to me but basically a different person.
GG: thats kinda how i feel about jake
GG: though ive also known him as my penpal for a while
GG: but it is kinda weird to think about him being a younger grandpa :(
GG: kinda reminds me of him too sometimes
EB: what like how everyone has the hots for him?
GG: lol basically
EB: anyways im down to hang out soon!
EB: but i need to go visit roxy and callie since im about to go on a special mission soon!
GG: ooo a special mission
GG: i wanna know!
EB: rose told me not to say too much.
EB: but tbh i might just end up bailing.
EB: i think maybe i should just choose to get out more.
GG: well whatever works for you!
GG: speaking of rose im probably gonna give her a call since i want to talk to her about something
EB: idk if she’ll be up for it. she seemed like she was suffering when i went to see her.
GG: ill check in
GG: anyways i hope you have fun with roxy and callie!
GG: and lmk when you wanna hang out!
EB: will do!
EB: best of luck with whatever you’re doing!
GG: ty! :D
GG: you as well!
EB: thanks!

– gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 11:00am –

Jade lowered her phone and thought about her text chain. It really had been a long time since they’d begun their new lives on Earth C. It felt like yesterday that they were in an all out brawl for their lives. Yet, it’d been 7 years already.

With a sigh, she took in what she’d been doing all that time. She was a powerful god of space couch surfing, living up her late teens and early twenties among a variety of individuals. No, not just individuals: polycules.

She’d been in and out of a variety of relationships, gaining more and more experience as a member of society. Though, the concept of how long it’d been hadn’t really dawned on her. There was always something exciting happening in her life. It felt like such a breath of fresh air compared to the years of isolation that plagued her for so long.

She didn’t know why, but something about today felt special to her. It was like after years of living in a haze, her head had been dunked into a bucket of ice cold water. Something about the chilling sensations of her dream felt more special than usual. It was more vivid, more lucid than before.

After realizing she was thinking about the dream again, she shook her head and took a deep breath. That’s right, she needed to contact Rose. The situation needed to be figured out soon, and fast.

When she checked her phone again, she saw that Rose had been online recently, but was currently offline. She could fairly easily deduce why given what John had told her, though it was worth sending her something.

– gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 12:05pm –

GG: hi rose! :D
GG: i heard youre not feeling well so i thought id send you well wishes!
GG: im kinda not doing too great myself so i can relate a lot
GG: lifes kinda been a spiral recently and
GG: i thought maybe we could catch up sometime! :D
GG: though if youre not in the mood for company i totally understand
GG: but it doesnt hurt to ask!
GG: so uh
GG: let me know!

– gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 12:08pm –

As expected, Rose wasn’t online to message her. She could only hope that her friend would feel better in the near future for her sake but also Rose’s.

While she continued to think, her stomach rumbled, begging to be satiated. Jade put her hands on her tummy and felt it groan. It was probably best that she headed home. After all, she’d spent the entire early morning out of the house.

Eventually, she decided to descend to Dave and Karkat’s house to alchemize herself some breakfast. Perhaps the aching sensation would subside, and she could live another day free from the torment that plagued her every day.

However, when she touched down, everything felt… off.

It was like a switch had been flipped, suddenly changing everything. What that everything could be was unclear. She couldn’t identify what changed, but she knew something had happened.

The air felt thin despite being the same. The breeze felt cooler despite the temperature remaining steady. Her hairs stood up as if dread had filled her body – yet nothing had happened.

All she did was touch the ground. What could have happened?

Before she could think further, she felt a vibration from her phone. When she saw the notification, everything that felt weird vanished from her mind.

– gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 12:15pm –

TT: Apologies for not getting back to you immediately, Jade.
TT: I’m actually feeling quite fine now. It appears that my condition has subsided, and things will be okay.
TT: I’m sorry that you’re plagued by what I would assume to be similar issues. If you want to talk about it, I’d be more than happy to help you out.
TT: Kanaya is working today, so you are free to visit if you’d like.
GG: hi rose!!!!
TT: Hello, Jade.
GG: im happy youre feeling better :D
TT: Thank you. I’m happy to be free of that agonizing torment.
GG: what was wrong :(((
TT: It’s something that we can talk about in person if you are still interested.
TT: I
TT: I believe that such a situation will be harder to describe over text.
TT: Plus, I think it would be a good opportunity for us to meet up again after quite some time.
GG: sounds good!
GG: and yeah im totally down to come over
GG: itll break up the monotony of staying at home all day with dave and karkat
GG: they never do anything!!!!
TT: Then why do you stay with them?
GG: because
GG: uh because i do!
GG: its one of my only options ok!!!!
TT: I’m sorry if that subject is touchy.
GG: nonono
GG: its ok
GG: im just going through a lot right now
GG: we can talk about it when im there
GG: im gonna eat some breakfast first and then ill fly over
TT: Sounds good to me.
GG: see you soon rose!
TT: See you soon, Jade.

– gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 12:25pm –

Jade flew towards the balcony of a penthouse suite that stood proudly above the surrounding mismatched apartment buildings around it. A large tree brushed itself against the side of the building, just within arms reach of anyone who stood by the glass borders at the edge of the platform.

It abode was quite quaint relative to the nature of the two women who resided within; though, Jade assumed that Rose’s more lavish upbringing made her distasteful of the fancy manors and large homes like that of Jane and Jake.

As Jade landed on the balcony, she could see Rose immediately approach the sliding glass door in front of her. The thick translucent barrier cleanly slid to the right and made a mighty click as Rose stood face to face with Jade.

Her hair was long and frizzy while her headband sat crooked on her head. She wore a long purple robe that covered a loosely fitting white t-shirt. The robe stretched down to her feet where she wore nothing but white slippers and a pair of ill-fitting black shorts.

Needless to say, Rose wasn’t looking like her usual self.

JADE: hi rose! sorry for making you wait!
ROSE: Don’t worry about it. I’m just happy that you’re here.
ROSE: How long has it been?
JADE: gosh idk
JADE: time goes by so fast these days i cant remember!
ROSE: You can say that again.
ROSE: I think it might have been on Jake’s last birthday a year ago. I recall us working out a present for him.
JADE: oh right! :O
JADE: hehe how could i forget
JADE: you grabbed the wrong glass and got suuuuper drunk
ROSE: It was not that bad!
ROSE: I was just feeling a little tipsy. I’ll have you know I’m quite good at handling my liquor.
JADE: tell that to the rose who was flirting with jane and trying to make out with her lol
ROSE: I
ROSE: I would like to move on with this conversation.
JADE: heehee ok
ROSE: Why don’t you come inside and get comfortable?
JADE: ok!

Jade followed Rose inside and made herself at home on the couch nearby the door. As she sat down, she looked around to see the soft colors on the walls of the apartment. They all flowed perfectly from one another on each surface. Purples of the living room and dining room transitioned to soft greens in the kitchen that was lit with a warm ceiling light. It beamed down onto decadent marble surfaces that covered the counters.

To her left by the front door was a shoe rack with an assortment of shoes ranging from flats to high heels. Above it was a coat rack which contained a lone purple jacket, hanging on by a thread on the hook.

Rose eventually diverted her attention back to the kitchen.

ROSE: Can I get you something to drink?
JADE: hmmm
JADE: what do you have?
ROSE: Well, we obviously have water, but there’s also grape juice, orange juice, milk, and cola.
JADE: do you have apple juice?
ROSE: …
JADE: what?
ROSE: You pick up so much from Dave, don’t you?
JADE: what is that supposed to mean???
ROSE: You are looking to court him and Karkat, are you not?
JADE: n-no!
JADE: yes?
JADE: i dont know????
JADE: look its complicated ok!
ROSE: I’ll save the further discussion for our chat. Anyways, no we don’t have the Strider special apple juice. Though if you would like me to alchemize some, I wouldn’t say no, even if Kanaya and I have a strict no alchemizing policy.
ROSE: I’m willing to bend the rules for you, Jade.
JADE: i think ill have grape juice
ROSE: One grape juice coming up.
JADE: thank you! :D

Rose walked over to the couch and handed Jade her glass of grape juice while still holding an empty glass and bottle in her arms. She poured her own share of the beverage and set the bottle down onto the coffee table before sitting down on the other end of the couch.

ROSE: Now then, how have you been, Jade?
JADE: ive been
JADE: …
JADE: i guess thats sorta the best way of describing it
JADE: ive just been existing
JADE: not really doing anything
ROSE: I understand. I’ve had a similar experience as of late.
JADE: oh yeah! i was talking with john earlier and you said you werent doing very well
JADE: i hope everything was ok :((
ROSE: I’m fine now. I was having massive headaches and migraines relating to my aspect.
JADE: ???
ROSE: You know how I’m the Seer of Light?
JADE: mhm
ROSE: Well, as you get older you start becoming more one with your abilities. Your power grows to a point where it needs to be used.
ROSE: A body well trained in their aspect may easily be able to handle that power, but it may not surprise you that I tend to not engage with my seer abilities these days.
ROSE: I find that engaging with the future in such a way is unhealthy to enjoying the life that I have built with my Kanaya. Why would I want to see into the future about potential developments in our future if it would only serve to spoil the surprise?
ROSE: Anyways, it appeared that I had begun going through a sort of godly puberty of sorts that amplified my abilities to unmanageable levels. And, in those forced visions, I was told that John would need to go on a special mission.
ROSE: If my assumption is correct, then my headaches have gone away because all is well.
JADE: in what way?
ROSE: There is no urgency that requires my seer abilities to accelerate their signals to me. Whatever choice was made, it means that things are at rest in our timeline. The canon that we reside in is safe from collapse.
JADE: i uh
JADE: i dont think i follow lol
ROSE: You don’t need to worry about it, Jade. What matters is that I’m okay now. Things will be okay in our future.
ROSE: I hope that’s a good explanation for my disheveled appearance.
JADE: i mean i dont really mind
JADE: you should see how i look like on a daily basis lol
ROSE: Now, enough about me. What did you want to talk about?
JADE: oh uh
JADE: i guess its kinda related to the davekat situation
JADE: well i guess its more like its happening suddenly while im in the middle of the davekat situation
ROSE: Do tell.

Jade looked at her reflection in the glass of grape juice and thought about what she wanted to say. It was hard for her to find a good starting point, but realistically, anywhere would be fine. There was just the matter of getting the ideas across coherently that were quite difficult.

JADE: so
JADE: as you probably know ive been doing a lot of
JADE: relationship stuff
JADE: in the last few years
JADE: yknow like with the people of earth c and stuff
ROSE: I do, yes.
JADE: and i kinda feel like a slut for all that
JADE: but its also kinda hard to contain myself yknow?
JADE: like its been 7 years and ive been in what
JADE: fifteen relationships?
JADE: and its been nice to explore my sexuality and stuff
JADE: but its really hard to ignore how i feel all the time
JADE: theres just this thing inside me constantly nagging me to satisfy myself and be with someone no matter what
JADE: thats already kinda hard but now i decided to completely swear off all regular people of earth c cuz the dynamics were just getting too weird and they always ended in some thing of them always seeing me as more than i am
JADE: and thats what kinda leaves me with dave and karkat…
ROSE: I see.
ROSE: I would like to say that I don’t judge you for your sexual adventures. I cannot imagine what it would be like to not only be someone living on her own for most of her life while combined with the hormones of a canine.
ROSE: You shouldn’t feel ashamed for what one would consider “slutlike behavior” because that isn’t an unreasonable response to your circumstances.
ROSE: Though, that does make me concerned regarding your recent adventures with Dave and Karkat.
JADE: i know…
JADE: i just
JADE: theyre just so perfect for each other!
JADE: fuck
JADE: theyre also just so perfect for me!
JADE: ive spent so long letting them be on their own
JADE: i was praying that theyd finally get together and i could just leave my stupid feelings for them to rest
JADE: but they refuse to get together! ive tried so hard to admit their feelings but it always fails! and ive let my own crushes get in my own way too!
JADE: idk and then like ive been in so many polycules that i know that can work too!
JADE: that davekat can work!
JADE: that we can all be a cute little trio!
JADE: i
JADE: and i cant help myself around them
JADE: ive felt so deprived
JADE: so empty
JADE: so cold…
ROSE: Cold?
JADE: yeah…
ROSE: Hmmm…
ROSE: I would still urge you to keep yourself out of the business regarding those two. If you desire to court one or the other, then that’s your choice and theirs, but if you truly believe those two belong together, then I’d suggest letting them figure it out.
JADE: but theyre just so stubborn!
JADE: they flirt literally all the time!
JADE: they freudian slip several times a day yet neither wants to admit it!
JADE: and no one else wants to get them together so it feels like its just me putting in all the work to get them to be happy!
ROSE: Jade, happiness isn’t something you give.
ROSE: Those two are hopeless when it comes to romance. Ironically, they are the only people of our friends who have the mutual lack of romantic self awareness.
ROSE: I would argue that John is more in tune with his desires than them.
ROSE: That being said, pardon if I’m caught off guard by you saying “cold.”
JADE: whys that?
ROSE: Cold is not exactly the word one would use if they were overwhelmed with sexual desire. The typical description would be heat. My assumption would have been your canine hormones giving you a form of heat that powers your sexual urges.
JADE: oh
JADE: hmmm
JADE: i guess that brings me to my dream then
ROSE: A dream?
JADE: yeah…
ROSE: Please, tell me. I’m curious if your dream is related.
JADE: ok uh here goes

Jade took a long sip of her grape juice. When she brought the glass down, she wiped off her lip with her shoulder and adjusted her glasses, looking deep into her dark reflection in the television on the opposite side of the coffee table. Her glance turned to Rose who took an elegant sip from her glass.

JADE: ive been having the dream every night for the last while about a black hole

Rose perked up.

JADE: its this green spirally black hole that explodes in the middle of a battlefield with all our friends
JADE: jane dirk jake roxy and callie on one side
JADE: you kanaya karkat dave and john on the other
JADE: i dont know why you all are fighting
JADE: but youre always trying to kill each other
JADE: and when i try to get in the way to stop you guys im always pulled backwards
JADE: forced to watch as you brutalize one another with your armies
JADE: and when the black hole consumes the battlefield everything gets really cold
JADE: everything gets sucked in except for me
JADE: leaving me to just float there freezing while i cant move and the end of the world happens before my eyes
JADE: then thats when i wake up

Rose looked at her, intrigued by her story. Her face looked less like that of surprise and more of one who was putting pieces together.

ROSE: Interesting…
ROSE: A war dream… A black hole… A sense of cold contrasting your internally high sexual activity…
ROSE: Jade.
JADE: hm?
ROSE: You said you talked to John recently, correct?
JADE: yeah
JADE: why?
ROSE: Did he tell you about any sort of recent dreams he’s had?
JADE: no?
JADE: not anything that i can think of
ROSE: Well, would it surprise you if I said that he had a similarly styled dream? One with an all consuming black hole?
JADE: :O
JADE: really???
ROSE: Yes, this is why it’s interesting to me. You have prior described the lack of green sun to provide you the abilities inherited as a First Guardian. It was consumed by that of a black hole, which John had described in his own dream.
ROSE: While it doesn’t matter now, I believe you should talk to him if it’s not too late.
JADE: too late?????
ROSE: It doesn’t matter. If your dream is similar to that of his and relates to the visions I saw, then perhaps there is a fundamental role you play in our world. One that you have yet to take part in.
ROSE: Have you not felt that, despite Earth C presumably bringing everyone together, you are the one who has felt the most alone? A purpose you have felt is unfulfilled?
JADE: i guess?
ROSE: Perhaps that cold, that sexual desire beneath is the call.
JADE: …
JADE: youre right
JADE: thank you rose
JADE: i-im gonna call john
JADE: i hope he hasnt gone on his mission yet!
ROSE: Yes, go. Do what you must. Please keep me filled in. I’m interested to hear more, Jade.
JADE: i will! :D
JADE: thank you again rose
JADE: i dont know what id do without you…

Jade looked at Rose with admiration; her eyes locked with the amethyst pupils that boldly filled Rose’s eyesockets. She could see her reflection in the blacks get closer and closer, begging for her to reach out and-

ROSE: Jade.
ROSE: What are you doing?

Jade paused, right next to Rose, practically climbing onto her.

JADE: o-oh sorry!

She scooted back and blushed. How could she have been so foolish as to let this happen again?

ROSE: Don’t worry about it.
ROSE: I find your puppy form of attraction to be quite adorable.
JADE: i
JADE:

Jade froze, her blush growing to her entire face, making her completely pink. Her brain short circuited hearing Roses words.

ROSE: I would say so in a platonic sense.
ROSE: Sorry if my tease gave you any particular ideas. I was testing to see just how much you truly do have these sorts of reactions.
ROSE: It appears they are quite strong.
JADE: yeah :(
JADE: theyre really hard to control
JADE: dave and karkat have to tell me a lot about it
JADE: a-anyways
JADE: ill talk to you soon rose!

Jade quickly got up and finished her juice. She placed it on the coffee table and walked towards the glass door.

ROSE: Talk to you soon, Jade.

Jade looked back at Rose, hands in her hoodie and smiled. Before long, she went outside and took to the skies, pulling out her phone to call her brother.

Chapter Text

Jade floated over the town and held her phone in two hands; they shook, making her search for John’s name on her contacts list difficult through a string of typos. Her trembling was a mixture of anxiety and excitement at the prospect of getting answers—maybe the last few years weren’t just a waste of her time.

She thought about how each experience was there to prepare her for the inevitable future where it would all matter. She wasn’t a slut or a whore or whatever series of misogynistic insults one could use to describe her sexual activity.

The long nights of waking up to the same recurring nightmare would finally have a purpose. Things would all make sense soon.

Jade pressed the call button on her phone and brought it up to her left ear, slowly beginning to land at the top of a closed department store roof. She sat down on one of the open benches and heard the dial ring over and over, each one feeling longer than the last.

Eventually, silence rang over the phone followed by a crackle and small blow of wind through the speaker. The sounds turned into a ruffle of hair until someone finally spoke on the other side.

JOHN: hi jade!
JADE: hey john! :D
JOHN: whats up?
JADE: oh uh rose told me to call you about something
JADE: i was actually able to meet up with her
JOHN: nice!
JOHN: um just fyi i’m kind of on a date right now, so we might need to cut things short.
JADE: oh!
JADE: whos the lucky taker? hehe
JOHN: this probably isn’t a surprise but it’s

John took a break, as if to clear his throat. The moment of suspense practically killed Jade as she excitedly awaited to hear her brother’s response.

JOHN: vriska.
JADE: VRISKA???????????????
JOHN: mhm!
JADE: b-but how???
JOHN: oh so basically when i was having a little picnic with callie and roxy, they’d offered me some weird raw meat and a plate of candy.
JOHN: i was going to pick the candy but then realized maybe that’s a really shitty idea.
JOHN: who’s going to have just a straight up bowl of candy for their first meal out in years?
JOHN: and the meat was raw and i remembered alchemizing some raw beef a couple years ago in my house.
JOHN: let me tell you, it didn’t end well lol.
JADE: john please get to the point
JOHN: oh right yeah!
JOHN: so i asked them if they had anything else i could eat and roxy said she brought a little fruit pie with her.
JOHN: she let me trade the meat for it! it was really fucking good!
JOHN: i didn’t know roxy had a knack for baking!
JOHN: though she definitely doesn’t eat very clean haha.
JOHN: the raw meat was all over her!
JADE: so where does vriska play into this?????
JOHN: im getting there!
JOHN: anyways when i ate the pie callie asked me if i could do her a favor.
JOHN: she told me to retcon back into canon and grab vriska from the fight with lord english.
JOHN: i don’t know why her specifically and why at that point, but she said something about stabilizing canon something or other.
JOHN: so i grabbed vriska and now she’s here!
JADE: i
JADE: ok
JOHN: is something wrong?
JADE: i uh
JADE: sorry forgive me for saying this but
JADE: yes john there is A LOT thats wrong here
JOHN: what?
JADE: first off vriskas back
JADE: and youve told no one?????
JADE: have you even tried to contact terezi cuz im sure shed love to know that her moirail that left for battle and never came back is actually back
JOHN: n-no…
JOHN: we’re trying to keep it on the downlow right now before we break the news.
JADE: thats the other problem john
JADE: you said you brought vriska from the fight with lord english right?
JOHN: yeah.
JADE: SHES SIXTEEN JOHN
JOHN:
JADE: i
JADE: you realize that youre what?
JADE: 22?
JOHN: oh im 23 as of today actually.
JADE: oh
JADE: happy birthday john! :D
JOHN: thank you! :D
JADE: sorry i forgot :(
JOHN: its ok!
JADE: anyways
JADE: john youre 23 years old!
JADE: why are you dating a 16 year old???
JOHN: nononono you’ve got it all wrong!
JOHN: when i retconned vriska here
JOHN: apparently it aged her up. so she’s the same age as us!
JOHN: at least that’s what callie said.
JADE: i have no words john
JADE: truly
JADE: none at all

Jade rested her head back over the bench and let out a long and deep sigh. This wasn’t what she’d expected this call to be about at all. She just wanted to know about John’s dream.

JADE: yknow what john
JADE: whatever
JADE: youre dating vriska right now i guess
JADE: thats not why im calling
JOHN: sorry jade. :(
JADE: i dont want to talk about this right now
JADE: so im just going to move on
JOHN: ok. what’s up?
JADE: rose said you had this dream about a black hole
JADE: and people died?
JOHN: oh my anime dream!
JOHN: yeah!
JOHN: it was so weird.
JOHN: it felt like it was my destiny. i don’t know why but it felt like a hero's call or something.
JOHN: what about it?
JADE: ok so this is going to sound weird but
JADE: ive had a similar kind of dream
JADE: its kinda been going on for a while but its basically watching everyone fight until a black hole eats them
JOHN: who’s fighting?
JADE: its our friends john…
JADE: theyre all fighting in some sort of war
JADE: everyone seems so mad :(
JOHN: was vriska there?
JADE: I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT VRISKA RIGHT NOW JOHN
JOHN: no that’s not what i mean!
JOHN: is she on the battlefield? what’s the teams i guess.
JADE: oh
JADE: no she isnt
JADE: terezi isnt there either if thats what youre going to ask too
JADE: its just everyone whos currently here
JADE: minus vriska i guess
JADE: rose said it might be a call to action dream like yours
JADE: and a part of me wonders what that call even means
JADE: cuz you said yours was to go on a mission
JADE: and i kinda dont really know how that was for you
JOHN: oh i didn’t go on the mission.
JOHN: as soon as i had the fruit pie i kinda decided to bail like i said earlier.
JOHN: i just want to hang out with my friends again!
JADE: and date a minor
JOHN: she’s not a minor!
JADE: lol
JOHN: the point is i ignored the call to action because it’s bullshit.
JOHN: you don’t need some anime dream to tell you to live life!
JOHN: i was told to heal canon and i refused the call.
JOHN: and look nothing’s caved in!
JADE: …

Jade closed her eyes and sunk deeper into the bench. The crevasses between the smooth, wooden boards dug into her back and thighs as she tried to practically melt through them. She wanted to throw her phone onto the ground and scream, but something kept her from acting rash.

Her brother frustrated her in a way she couldn’t describe – yet it was more complicated than just what he’d said. Something about what he meant is what really drilled into her. There was a hole within her stomach that beckoned the wind to pass through and infect the gaping wound with its chilling cold—continuing to inflict pain onto her slowly dying corpse.

She sure wished she could die like that; however such a death wouldn’t be heroic nor just. Instead, this conversation would only serve to eat at her further.

JOHN: jade?

Jade snapped out of her thoughts as her eyes shot open.

JOHN: you good?
JADE: y-yeah
JADE: perfectly fine!
JADE: doing great!
JOHN: sorry if me saying my dream was bullshit was saying yours was too.
JOHN: i’m sure you have your own call to action you could choose to hear!
JOHN: you’re probably more worthy of it than me.
JADE: thanks john.
JOHN: are you sure you’re ok?
JADE: yes
JADE: just a lot to think about

From within the speaker, Jade heard a muffled voice yell out to John. She couldn’t quite make out the words, but she could assume it was Vriska.

As she suspected, John began speaking again.

JOHN: sorry jade! It looks like vriska’s ready to get things going for real.
JOHN: so im gonna have to go.
JADE: ok!
JADE: sounds good
JOHN: it was good hearing your voice again jade!
JOHN: we should start talking more again.
JOHN: i want to reconnect with everyone and i feel like we just haven’t hung out or anything. i kinda miss when we hung out :(
JADE: sure! id be down!
JOHN: see ya jade!
JADE: later john!

Jade quickly hit the end call button and set it down with force onto the bench. She stood up fast and took a deep breath before preparing to let out a gaping scream for the entire world to hear.

However, at the last minute, she took a deep breath out and drooped her head. She couldn’t scream, yell, or even let out a sound. All of the bottled up pain and frustration instead settled within her stomach like a soda going flat.

The wind picked up around her, sending a shiver down her spine. Her hair flowed with the breeze as she tried to muster up some sort of tears to relieve any sort of stress. Despite her best efforts, no such thing could occur.

She was stuck standing, frozen in place while her conversation with John replayed over and over in her head.

JOHN: the point is i ignored the call to action because it’s bullshit.
JOHN: you don’t need some anime dream to tell you to live life!

His words echoed in her mind.

JADE: its not bullshit…
JADE: ITS NOT BULLSHIT!

Jade roared into the air as her emotional cooldown had expired.

JADE: what the fuck is the point of having a shitty ass nightmare like that if it doesnt mean anything?!

She paced around, continuing to rant.

JADE: of course youre given this purpose in life!
JADE: you have everything in the world to help you keep going handed to you!
JADE: a perfect and normal home life an adventure of self discovery and then youre the chosen one to fucking fix everything!
JADE: and here i am deprived of fucking everything!
JADE: that asshole doesnt have to deal with being told over and over and over and OVER to be alone!
JADE: cuz its “your purpose”
JADE: well what the fuck does that mean?!
JADE: AM I SUPPOSED TO SUFFER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?

Jade’s blood curdling scream echoed into the afternoon sky, making birds in nearby trees fly away in fear. She slowly settled down as she breathed heavily—her heart was pounding faster than she could remember in recent times.

It felt hopeless to her.

She sat back down on the bench and began to cry. Of course things had to get worse. Maybe John was right, if she just ignored the call to action, she could be at home right now making out with Dave or Karkat.

What the fuck are you thinking you dumbass???

Jade smacked her forehead with her hand over and over, continually frustrated with herself. Had she really dug this hole for herself? Had she fucked up so badly that there was no escape?

A vibration from her phone shook the bench. Reluctantly, she checked the notification to see a message from Rose.

TT: I heard a scream that sounded like you.
TT: Is everything okay?

Jade ran her hand over her face and sighed. It was probably best to respond, so that she could get help. After all, Rose had been a helpful asset before. She could perhaps ease the pain of such an emotionally draining conversation.

However, she got another notification from someone else. She needed to look closer to realize who it was from.

TT: Yo, Jade.
TT: Do you have time to chat? It’s kinda important.

Jade did the sensible thing and-

– gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 3:00pm –

GG: yeah
GG: we can talk
TT: Sick.
TT: Come to my place. It’ll be easier if we talk without any interference.
GG: interference?
TT: Don’t worry about it.
TT: You had a dream right?
GG: ???
TT: Figured. Get over here ASAP.
GG: will do
GG: ill be right there
GG: later dirk
TT: Great. See ya, Jade.

– gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 3:05pm –

Chapter Text

Dirk paced in his apartment impatiently. It appeared that several things were on his mind, yet none bubbled to the surface for him to focus on. He was a man of many ideas, but unfortunately one who couldn’t handle them all at once.

Beads of sweat formed upon his forehead as he heavily breathed and grit his teeth. Something must have been stressing him out because his calm and collected nature was rapidly devolving into broken mania.

DIRK: Don’t tell me what I am.
DIRK: I can deal with this myself.

Dirk’s expression changed to that of a calm and stoic face. His mouth remained entirely neutral as his sweat evaporated into the air. In his mind, there was presumably nothing to worry about. He assumed that he had it all under control.

To his delight, a knock rhythmically tapped on the door. He didn’t need to check to know who it was. No one visited unless strictly invited. It was a cumbersome process, but he saw it as a meaningful check on his secrets—many of which he was afraid to share.

DIRK: Come in.
DIRK: The door’s unlocked.

The door opened to reveal Jade, still clad in her sweat pants and black space aspect hoodie. Her tail wagged anxiously as if she shouldn’t be there at that moment. Her heart pounded, almost realizing that this was all a mistake.

JADE: hi dirk!
DIRK: Sup, Jade.
DIRK: Sorry for messaging suddenly.
JADE: no worries!
JADE: i was kinda having a moment anyways lol
DIRK: Come inside and get comfy. We can talk over some bevs.

Jade walked inside and rested herself on Dirk’s couch. She could feel a distinct discomfort as she fully sat down; it was like sitting on a bed of rocks backed by an old stiff mattress. By all accounts, this couch was likely the most uncomfortable in existence.

DIRK: What do you want to drink?
JADE: what are the options?
DIRK: Let’s see here.
DIRK: Vodka, rum, fireball, root beer, orange juice…
DIRK: Then apple juice.
JADE: ill take the apple juice!!!
DIRK: Damn, I didn’t know you were down for AJ like that. Seems like my bro’s got you hooked, huh?
JADE: hehe kinda
JADE: thats basically all we have at home
JADE: other than water i guess
DIRK: Sounds like a classic case of Stockholm Syndrome.
DIRK: Either way, good to know a non-Strider is taking up the mantle of AJ enjoyer.

Dirk threw a bottle of apple juice from his kitchen and into the living room. As she was sitting away from the kitchen, Jade panic caught the bottle and held it close to her chest. It was a risky gambit to hurl a glass bottle of liquid across the room, but thankfully, Jade was dextrous enough to catch it with ease.

As Dirk made his way back to the couch with his bottle, Jade looked around his grungy apartment. It was covered in drab browns and oranges that evoked the sense of a run down building. The carpet was a putrid tan that could make your feet itchy just by placing your socks on them.

Dirk sat at the opposite end of the couch and broke the seal on his beverage, slowly taking a drink as his cold stare brought itself to Jade.

DIRK: Aight, let’s talk.
JADE: you mean my dream and stuff right?
DIRK: Doesn’t have to be just your dream. We haven’t talked in a while haven’t we?
JADE: i guess not lol
JADE: though we dont really talk at all haha
DIRK: True. It feels like we only have shit to say when it’s related to Dave.
DIRK: Not a bad thing, but it means it keeps our little friend group divided. I’m sure you know exactly how that feels.
JADE: yeah… :(
JADE: but i think things are ok right now
JADE: i guess in a material sense
JADE: im living with dave and karkat but nothing is wrong with our situation
JADE: its more that i feel like ive wasted my life now yknow?
JADE: ive spent 7 years living it up but i havent really done anything with you guys
JADE: cuz yknow you all have your own stuff and im not going to pretend im the priority
DIRK: That sounds like some quitter talk.
JADE: what do you mean?
DIRK: Why are you so hung up on what you haven’t done. Just fucking do it.
DIRK: Seize your moment and all that shit.
JADE: but what is there to seize?
JADE: im just some bum living on some friends couch dealing with uncontrollable sex fantasies
DIRK: What makes you think you’re a slut?

Jade paused, realizing how rude that question was. He had no right to impose such a misogynistic term upon her in that way. It was obvious that she was struggling with turmoil related to her physiology; what she needed was support from someone who could help relieve her of that strain.

JADE: probably the fact that ive spent years in a bunch of relationships
JADE: ive had a lot of sex lol
JADE: theres lots of stuff you dont realize people do until youre doing it haha
DIRK: Do tell.
JADE: you sure?
JADE: im getting into some serious women loving territory
DIRK: And a gay man can’t understand the logistics of sex between women?
JADE: fair lol

The two of them obviously found this subject matter to be quite counter to the purpose of this visit and swiftly moved on.

JADE: so yknow how trolls dont have the same junk as us?
DIRK: Yeah, they’re…
DIRK: What the fuck are they called? Bulges or some shit?
JADE: mhm!
JADE: cuz trolls dont really have sexual dymorphism the same as humans, bulges are unchanged between male and female trolls. so where a lot of the differences lie are in boobs and stuff
JADE: its kinda cute hehe
JADE: anyways bulges are like this mix of a vagina and a snakelike dick
JADE: it can wrap around shit and i
JADE: yknow how like some people jack each other off?
DIRK: A classic, yes. I have experience.
JADE: well now imagine that but like its like someone is jacking you off with their own dick
JADE: so you just have this really adorable and wet little tentrile jacking you off while youre also rubbing yours against their clit
DIRK: I see. I’m assuming you have a dick and this isn’t a hypothetical?
JADE: oh shit i guess i never shared that with anyone huh?

Jade, never revealing this information prior, realized that it would be best to take a step back and focus. Her first telling Dirk Strider about her penis was already an embarrassing moment on it’s own.

DIRK: That’s the first I’m hearing of it.
DIRK: I’m chill with it. Go on.
JADE: ok!
JADE: if you say so ;)
JADE: so imagine youre being jacked off by this cute lil thing while youre boobs are being caressed and groped and-
JADE: oh god thinking about it again its
JADE: dirk you have no idea how amazing it is…
JADE: making out with her… rubbing your breasts against hers…
JADE: your dick being slowly wrapped by her bulge….
JADE: oooooh dirk do you see what i mean?
JADE: theres so much out there! so much you can explore!
JADE: when i was a teenager it didnt even cross my mind that you could have sex like that
DIRK: Sounds like you were living a lot of firsts.
DIRK: I gotta say, what you’re describing is hot as fuck. I’m sure a couple of guys would love to bang like that.
JADE: you dont need to hide who you mean dirk
JADE: i know youre talking about dave and karkat lol
DIRK: I wasn’t trying to be subtle. I figured you’d pick up on it. You’re bright, afterall.
JADE: you dont need to patronize me dirk i know im smart :P

This unbelievable conversation moved onto a different topic as quickly as it started it. Dirk directed things in a different direction, one a lot more sensible.

DIRK: So, you think you’re a slut because you’ve become so close to the people here? While everyone else has decided to hold themselves up in their homes?
JADE: i guess so yeah
DIRK: I don’t think you should view that as a bad thing. I’m sure that those experiences have made you more whole of a person.
JADE: thats kinda the thing…
JADE: i feel more empty than ever
JADE: in all of this ive realized i hate being a god
JADE: it complicates so much and pretty much just leaves my dating block to my friends
JADE: and i guess i dont care cuz its my friends but a part of me wants to live without having to fuel this desire
JADE: i feel so cold dirk
DIRK: Sounds like you’re having a midlife crisis. Or as much as someone in her early twenties can have such a crisis.
JADE: maybe?
DIRK: What I’m getting at here is that you’re acting like you have no purpose, right? That you wish that you could exist for more than just being alone?
JADE: yeah…
JADE: thats kinda exactly right
DIRK: Now tell me, Jade. That dream.
DIRK: I want to know what was in that dream.
JADE: it was a black hole and a war between our friends
JADE: and im stuck in the middle watching it while i basically freeze to death
JADE: except not really because i cant die!!!!
DIRK: I see…
JADE: though i also had this other dream last night
DIRK: Oh?
JADE: i saw a girl…
JADE: i dont know how to describe it
JADE: but seeing her made me feel something
DIRK: Warmth?
JADE: yep! thats it!

Jade looked away from Dirk and finally opened her drink. She took a long sip of her apple juice as she stared out the window in front of her. Looking down, she saw the bustling streets of the city, filled with so many complicated lives of people that she’d never get to meet.

Those individuals would encounter their own struggles and find love in their own ways; yet, despite it all, they kept going. They looked for a way to move forward. Jade wondered if what she needed was to talk with someone who could provide her the support she needed to regain her strength.

DIRK: Jade, I think your dreams are important.

Jade continued to be lost in thought as she continued worrying about her struggles.

DIRK: I need to work on a plan, but what you need to do is message Terezi. I have a feeling she’ll respond if you tell her something she wants to hear.
DIRK: It’s the only way we can get things on track.
DIRK: If your dreams are prophetic, then our goal is to stop that war. We need to restore relevance to our world.

After spouting enough nonsense, Dirk knew he should stop talking. Jade was busy working through things in her head.

JADE: ok will do! :D
JADE: i think i know exactly whatll get her to respond
DIRK: Perfect.
DIRK: Keep my posted, ‘kay?

Jade stood up and put the unfinished bottle of apple juice into her hoodie pocket.

JADE: sounds good!
JADE: i think im gonna get out of here though
JADE: no offense but i think im starting to get a headache :(
DIRK: None taken. Feel better, Jade.
JADE: tyy dirk!

Jade walked to the door and grabbed the knob. She paused for a moment before looking back at Dirk with a faint smile.

JADE: thanks for chatting dirk
JADE: really
JADE: i feel a lot better
DIRK: Anytime, Jade.

Dirk gave a slight smirk as Jade promptly walked outside.

It was almost as if a weight had been lifted off Jade’s shoulders as she took to the skies and felt the breeze in her face. She thought the conversation with Dirk was worth having, though a part of her wondered why she felt so comfortable around him?

Was it because he reminded her so much of Dave? Or was it because he was just so easy to talk to? Regardless, it wasn’t worth thinking about that visit for any reason other than the token idea that it would be a good idea to inform Terezi of Vriska’s arrival.

Jade pulled out her phone and scrolled Pesterchum to Terezi, who was perpetually offline. She didn’t quite know where she was at, but something told her that including the name Vriska would alert her regardless of location.

– gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at time 5:23pm –

GG: hii terezi!
GG: i know we havent talked in a while
GG: or i gues you havent really responded to anything ive said but
GG: i have good news!
GG: vriskas back!
GG: im not really sure how
GG: but shes back! you can come home!
GG: you dont have to respond if you dont want to
GG: im not even sure if youre getting this
GG: i just wanted to let you know
GG: hope youre trip has been fun!
GG: bye terezi!

– gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 5:27pm –

She looked around and thought about what to do next. The sun was beginning to set as the air grew colder and colder. She shivered thinking about the idea of floating in a vacuum of cold.

Jade couldn’t just float here idly for long; she needed to do something. Perhaps she could pay a visit to a friend? Or respond to an unread message? The world was her oyster.

Ultimately, she decided to head back towards her home, thinking she could maybe break the news to Dave and Karkat. Though, a part of her wondered if going behind John’s back was a good idea? At the same time, he was dating a sixteen year old, so as far as Jade was concerned, there was no need to keep secrets.

It didn’t matter if John was her brother or not, the down low isn’t maintained if what’s hidden is truly heinous.

When Jade had finally touched down in front of Dave and Karkat’s house, she felt a buzz from her pocket. She first felt the bottle of apple juice before grabbing her phone, which displayed two sets of notifications.

One read:

TT: Just checking in again, Jade.
TT: I hope things are okay.

The second:

GC: 1M H34D1NG B4CK NOW

Chapter Text

Jade stared at her phone, unsure of what to do. She wanted to respond to her friends, but something pulled her inside. The brisk air of the budding evening was slowly slipping through the seams of her hoodie while her stomach groaned.

Despite her desire to respond, she thought it best to go inside. When she opened the door, she saw a quite familiar image.

Karkat sat firmly planted on the left side of the couch with his head resting on his hand; he leaned on the arm of the couch with the same expression that ranged from bored to actively annoyed. His eyes were glued to the TV.

Dave, conversely, was leaning on the wall next to the kitchen with a bottle of apple juice in his hand. He scrolled his phone, occasionally stopping to adjust his sunglasses. His typical neutral mouth stayed planted in the same position as always. Even though he seemed entirely expressionless, Jade could always tell what was going on. He was complex, but his emotions in a given moment were simple.

When the door shut, Dave looked up to see Jade while Karkat remained fixated on the television.

DAVE: sup jade
DAVE: how was chattin it up with rose
JADE: it was good! :D
JADE: informative while also fun!
JADE: plus i got to catch up a lil bit
DAVE: sick
KARKAT: CAN YOU TWO FUCKERS KEEP IT DOWN OR TAKE IT TO ANOTHER ROOM? I’M TRYING TO WATCH SOMETHING!

The two looked at Karkat, who was visibly annoyed at the conversation taking place.

DAVE: dude are we not allowed to have a conversation in a common space
DAVE: thats like the whole fucking point of a living room
DAVE: plus you hate this shit
DAVE: why the fuck do you watch it in the first place
KARKAT: FIRST OFF, I’M EDUCATING MYSELF. UNLIKE MOST OF YOU PEOPLE, I HAVE THE DECENCY TO KEEP MYSELF INFORMED ON THE HAPPENINGS OF THIS GOG FORSAKEN PLANET WE’VE BIRTHED.
KARKAT: SOMEONE NEEDS TO JUDGE THE MEDIA THAT IS BEING SHIT OUT FROM THE CONVEYORBELT OF ASS THAT IS THIS PLANET’S HALFBAKED CARICATURE OF TROLL HOLLYWOOD.
DAVE: you dont have to defend why you sit on your ass all day
DAVE: i dont give a fuck
DAVE: im just trying to talk to someone here
KARKAT: NOT IF I MAKE YOU SHUT UP STRIDER.
JADE: hehe cute
JADE: im sure you know exactly how youd do it too
KARKAT: FOR FUCKS SAKE JADE.

Karkat was visibly blushing, his eyes rapidly moving back and forth from Jade to Dave.

KARKAT: I DON’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!!!
KARKAT: STOP TAKING MY BASIC ASS STATEMENTS AS ACTS OF FLIRTATION.
JADE: whatever you say karkat lol
KARKAT: MY POINT IS TAKE YOUR BULLSHIT ELSEWHERE.
DAVE: sure man whatever
DAVE: not like i thought youd be interested in this dream shit anyways
KARKAT: I DIDN’T SAY THAT.
DAVE: do you want in or not man
DAVE: im getting mixed signals
JADE: me too
JADE: do you want us to talk in here or not?
KARKAT: GO SOMEWHERE ELSE.
KARKAT: I DON’T WANT TO HEAR ANY FLUSHED BULLSHIT FROM EITHER OF YOU REGARDLESS OF CONSENSUAL EXCHANGE.
JADE: no need to be a dick karkat!
JADE: its not flirting!
KARKAT: RIGHT, AND THE SEVERAL OTHER COMMENTS DIRECTED AS A FORM OF FLIRTING HAVE NO BEARING?
JADE: what is your problem???
JADE: im having a shit day already!!!
JADE: ugh!!!
JADE: FINE!
JADE: ill leave you alone jackass!

Jade, face red with anger, threw open the front door and ran outside. She slammed the door as hard as she could, making a deafening crash.

Dave looked at Karkat and shook his head in disappointment. He took a sip of his apple juice before dropping his head to shake his head even more dramatically.

DAVE: whats your problem man
DAVE: it feels like you take everything so fucking weird these days
KARKAT: I
KARKAT: DAVE, LISTEN. I’M TIRED OF THIS SHIT. I’M TIRED OF JADE FLIRTING ALL THE FUCKING TIME. IT PISSES ME OFF. YOU KNOW IT JUST AS WELL AS ME THAT SHE WANTS TO FUCK. WE’RE JUST ANOTHER GROUP OF PEOPLE TO HAVE SOME SHORT TERM FLING WITH.
KARKAT: I FEEL FAIRLY JUSTIFIED GIVEN THAT EVEN POST-DIALOGUE BULLSHIT, SHE STILL CONTINUES TO DO THIS. I’M FUCKING TIRED DAVE.
DAVE: you just gotta be patient
DAVE: this shit isnt an overnight deal
DAVE: were letting jade stay here cuz she needs to bounce back
DAVE: im not gonna pretend shits perfect but also its not gonna get better any time soon if we kick her out
KARKAT: DAVE I KNOW YOU HAVE FLUSHED FEELINGS FOR HER. THIS ISN’T SOME SECRET. OBVIOUSLY YOU ARE FINE WITH HER SOLICITATION BECAUSE YOU ACTIVELY LIKE IT.
KARKAT: YOU CAN JUST SAY YOU LIKE HER.
KARKAT: BUT AT THIS POINT I HEAR YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW MUCH SHE FLIRTS WITH YOU MORE THAN I HEAR ABOUT WHATEVER ECONOMIC BULLSHIT YOU’RE WATCHING.
DAVE: its complicated
DAVE: i think she deserves better
DAVE: id rather just work through this shit than let it fester
DAVE: i only bitch about it cuz i think shes settling for less
KARKAT: WHAT???
KARKAT: ARE YOU INSINUATING THAT WE AREN’T GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER?
DAVE: whered that we come from lol
DAVE: dude listen im gonna be blunt here
DAVE: we arent
DAVE: thats just a straight up fact
KARKAT: ???
DAVE: you dont have to hide it man you see the great shit that could come from her
DAVE: those picnics she forces us on
DAVE: she gets you off your ass to do shit
DAVE: dude she literally got me shopping again
DAVE: wed only be weighing her down
DAVE: so i want her to move on so we dont have to subject her to shit beneath her
KARKAT: YOU’RE DOING SUCH A GREAT JOB AT LEADING HER ON. THE WAY YOU PHRASE YOUR BULLSHIT TO HER IS THE LEAST FUCKING VAGUE YOU CAN POSSIBLY BE.
DAVE: ?
KARKAT: IF YOU DON’T WANT TO DATE HER THEN TELL HER NO.
KARKAT: IT’S THAT FUCKING EASY.
DAVE: then why dont you do it
KARKAT: WHAT?
DAVE: why dont you do it then smartass
DAVE: if you dont have a thing for her either

Karkat stared at Dave with a mixture of anger and frustration, but for some reason, Dave’s words dug into him. He felt almost paralyzed hearing his roommate’s callout.

KARKAT: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT.
DAVE: dude if you think jades flirting is bad
DAVE: then youre practically begging for some blackrom shit every time
KARKAT: DAVE, SINCE WHEN WERE YOU THE EXPERT ON TROLL ROMANCE?
KARKAT: YOU GOT ME.
KARKAT: I’M MADLY IN LOVE WITH JADE HARLEY, AND I WANT HER TO BE MY KISMESIS.
KARKAT: WHAT TIPPED YOU OFF TO MY BOILING PASSION?
DAVE: you totally have a thing for her lol
KARKAT: I FUCKING DON’T!
KARKAT: I HAD FLUSHED FEELINGS FOR HER TEN YEARS AGO AND NOW I DON’T.
KARKAT: IS THAT NOT A CONCEPT THAT CAN FIT IN YOUR TINY ASS THINKPAN? OR DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE IDIOTIC CONCEPT OF SOULMATES?
KARKAT: AS FAR AS I’M AWARE, YOU DON’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THAT SHIT.
DAVE: i dont need to hear anymore dude
DAVE: youre feeling the same shit as me
DAVE: were in this together man
DAVE: i dont think either of us are enough for her but maybe you got some insane machinations that you two have a shot

Dave walked towards the front door and put his hand on the doorknob. He looked back at Karkat and smirked.

DAVE: im gonna check on jade since your dumb ass scared her off
DAVE: though im sure you need more time to think about your crush lol
KARKAT: I-

Karkat sat speechless as Dave left the house.

Jade sat around the side of the house within the green shrubbery that ran the perimeter. She was curled up into a ball as she leaned up against the wall and bawled her eyes out into her sweater’s sleeves.

Conflicted emotions filled her mind as her thoughts on Karkat bounced around wildly. Their initial conversations that made her hate him slowly transitioned to the fun jokes of getting to know him before landing on the moments of budding love and understanding. She thought about how on all three years of her lonely trip, her text history with Karkat was one of the few things she looked back on the most.

Even when she was staring him down while being under the influence of the Condesce, her emerald eyes locked onto Karkat. A part of her wished she didn’t feel compelled to hurt him – but her mind told her a job had to be done.

Karkat was a soft guy at the end of the day; he had a fragile ego and was prone to outbursts of emotions that weren’t representative of his true feelings. Though, despite knowing him for a decade, Jade still couldn’t quite parse what he meant.

It was that conflict that reminded her of the quagmire that was her current living situation. Was it possible for her to date him? Was it possible to date Dave? These questions always repeated themselves in her mind as reminders of the fragility of her situation.

After a certain point, how much of this was simply sunk cost? If one were to give up in Jade’s position, where would they go? It’s simply something that one couldn’t possibly understand.

Well, someone came to mind, but it’s fairly clear that the person Jade was thinking of is not worth listening to. His ideas and obsessions are worth discarding.

DAVE: yo jade
DAVE: you around here?

Jade looked up from her arms and saw Dave from around the corner.

JADE: yeah…
JADE: just sitting in the dirt

Dave looked at her and made his approach. He took a few steps towards her before slowly moving himself more and more to her level on the ground. By the time he stood next to her, he was now in a kneeling position, almost reminiscent of that of a knight and a princess.

DAVE: sorry about karkat being a piece of shit back there
DAVE: though i guess youre used to that by now lol
JADE: hehe yeah
JADE: typical karkat
JADE: i probably shouldve just taken it on the chin though
JADE: im used to his bullshit and i let my shitty day get in the way
DAVE: ok youre gonna have to expand on that
DAVE: wtf even happened
JADE: ok so basically i talked with rose about my dream
JADE: she said that it had some significance to something john was up to
JADE: it kinda made me feel like yknow it had some kind of meaning
JADE: that maybe it wasnt just bullshit
JADE: so i called john about his dream and mission that he was apparently had
JADE: and he…
DAVE: dodged the mission entirely?
JADE: mhm
DAVE: not surprised
DAVE: but id probably do the same thing
JADE: i guess…
JADE: anyways he told me that it was all bullshit and that he was happy now that he was out again
JADE: …
JADE: and dating vriska
DAVE: WHAT
DAVE: ok wait hold on
DAVE: what the fuck????

Dave shook his head in disbelief as he stared Jade directly in the eyes; there was nothing but honesty in her words. Something screamed the truth just by looking at her.

DAVE: how the fuck
JADE: he used his retcon powers to bring her here i guess
JADE: and now theyre dating…
JADE: i dont think i need to tell you whats wrong with that
DAVE: yeah cuz vriskas still 16 lol
DAVE: ngl i always clocked him as a weirdo like that
DAVE: last i checked that asshole was head over heels for the troll women
DAVE: especially vriska
DAVE: that fact that hes dating her despite being a minor isnt surprising at all

Jade frowned, somewhat disappointed by Dave’s reaction.

JADE: i just didnt really think he was like that
JADE: i thought he was better…
JADE: yknow my own brother with a child
JADE: its an uncomfy thought :(
DAVE: i get it
DAVE: this shit is still hella out of left field
JADE: he said hes keeping it on the downlow but i already told terezi vriskas back
JADE: and i guess ive already told you lol
DAVE: lol

Dave put his arm around Jade and gave her a partial hug. Jade gave him a goofy smile.

JADE: thanks dave :)
JADE: sorry im dumping all my problems on you today
JADE: theres just so much shit coming to a head for me right now and
JADE: i kinda dont really know what the futures gonna be like
JADE: im scared
DAVE: well as long as it doesnt burn down ill let you crash here for as long as you need
DAVE: i care about you jade
JADE: thank you…
JADE: i appreciate the help a lot…

Their eyes met. Something within them began to brew; it was as if the forces of nature around them began to slow down, focusing on just the two gods that sat in the dirt. A green and red aura surrounded the two of them as they looked deeper and deeper into each other.

Dave looked into Jade’s beautiful green eyes and saw little sparkles twinkle within the iris. Jade looked into the black void of Dave’s sunglasses, unable to see anything from behind; however, she could almost catch the glimpse of red stars glimmering from behind the lenses. The mild glow created a faint reflection in the glasses that showed Jade’s ever approaching face.

The two silently moved closer to one another until their lips parted, preparing for something that neither had anticipated would happen anytime soon. Their mouths approached, ready to let love blossom.

KARKAT: DAVE!!! JADE!!!

The two were quickly brought back to reality as Karkat’s screeching voice echoed into the night. They jolted back, looking behind them to see their friend panting from around the corner—an expression of horror ran across his face.

KARKAT: VRISKA’S BACK.
KARKAT: AND THINGS ARE BAD. REALLY FUCKING BAD.

Jade and Dave looked at each other and then back to Karkat; he looked more distressed than either had seen him in years.

KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO DOING?
KARKAT: YOU HAVE TO COME INSIDE. THIS SHIT IS ALL OVER THE NEWS.

They hastily made their way inside where the television ran the story one more time.

REPORTER: We have an update regarding the new sighting. Yes, I repeat there is a new sighting. The Heir of Breath, John Egbert, was seen in public for the first time in years alongside a troll currently unknown.

The three stood in the doorway looking at the screen which zoomed in on an image of John alongside a troll with mismatched horns, blue lipstick, and most recognizably, an eye with seven pupils.

REPORTER: The Carapician who took the photograph says that they saw the two enter a restaurant, the Heir dressed in his godly attire while the troll was in streetwear. Some have identified the troll as the lost god that didn’t make it, though the existence of said god is entirely speculative.
REPORTER: I’ll now pass it to our man at the scene for more information.

Dave looked at Jade while biting his lip.

DAVE: holy shit jade you werent kidding
DAVE: holy fuck
KARKAT: JADE, YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS?
JADE: uh well i just learned about it
JADE: john told me earlier but i didnt really have a chance to share with anyone
DAVE: dude this shit is so bad
KARKAT: I KNOW RIGHT? NOT ONLY IS VRISKA BACK, BUT APPARENTLY EGBERT HAS TAKEN IT UPON HIMSELF TO DATE SOMEONE WELL BELOW HIS AGE.
DAVE: its a pr nightmare
DAVE: hes cooked
KARKAT: JADE.
JADE: ?
KARKAT: HAVE YOU TOLD TEREZI ABOUT THIS? SHE NEEDS TO KNOW.
JADE: yeah
JADE: i texted her when i found out. she said shes on her way back
KARKAT: FUCK, OK. THAT’S GOOD AT LEAST.
DAVE: if these fuckers didnt catch this story we couldve done something to work this shit out
DAVE: now we gotta deal with her coming back and john being a dumbass

The three fully entered the room and sat down on the couch. Karkat took the left spot like he tended to do while Dave leaned on the right. Jade was left sitting in the center, hugging her pillow as she looked at the cluttered coffee table.

KARKAT: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.
KARKAT: I’M MESSAGING KANAYA.

Karkat pulled out his phone and began pecking away at his screen violently. Meanwhile, Jade looked at Dave and awkwardly smiled.

JADE: i dont really wanna defend john here but
JADE: he did say something about vriska allegedly aging up
JADE: thats not really an excuse though
DAVE: im giving it a 50/50
DAVE: either johns full of shit or hes right
DAVE: though im not here to support him being with
DAVE: her
KARKAT: PLEASE. YOU’RE TELLING ME. THE LAST THING I WANT IS THAT IMPRESSIONABLE BAFFOON TO ATTACH HIMSELF ANYMORE TO HER. I DON’T CARE ABOUT ANY SORT OF BULLSHIT GROWTH SHE HAD. SHE’S BAD NEWS.
KARKAT: FUCK.

Dave felt a vibration from his pocket. When he pulled out his phone, he saw an incoming call from John. He looked at Jade before showing her his phone.

JADE: oh shit
DAVE: well looks like the man himself wants to chat

He accepted the call and turned on the speaker. From the other side of the line, everyone could hear the deep breathing of John.

DAVE: yo john whats up?
DAVE: youre on speaker with jade and karkat
JOHN: hi dave. and jade and karkat.
JOHN: uh.
JOHN: you guys probably saw the news story, right?
KARKAT: YOU BET YOUR ASS WE DID.
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?
DAVE: woah slow down man
DAVE: ok john listen to me
DAVE: bro to bro here
DAVE: you gotta tell us whats going on
JOHN: listen, it’s fine! i brought vriska back!
JOHN: there’s nothing bad going on at all!
JOHN: i don’t know why they’re making it some gossip story like there’s anything wrong.
KARKAT: YOU’RE WITH A FUCKING CHILD, JACKASS!
JOHN: what????
JOHN: nononono!
JOHN: i promise you that’s not what’s happening.
JOHN: ask jade! she can confirm i’ve explained it to her!

Jade shook her head.

JADE: sorry john
JADE: you dont have to make things up
JADE: i wanna believe you but i just dont think what youre saying makes sense
JOHN: i brought her back and she was suddenly older! why would i make that up???
DAVE: ok youre gonna have to run this back
DAVE: so youre the one who brought vriska back?
JOHN: yeah! callie told me to retcon to the lord english fight, grab vriska, and then come back!
JOHN: she was the one who told me that vriska is an adult now too!
JOHN: you have to talk to callie!
KARKAT: EGBERT, I HAVE NO WORDS.
KARKAT: NONE.
DAVE: listen john
DAVE: were gonna have to have a little meetup
DAVE: cuz you calling to try and clear shit up aint helping
JOHN: i just didn’t want the vriska news to break so early!
JOHN: i wanted to keep things kind of secret for a bit so we could figure things out.
KARKAT: YET HERE YOU ARE.
KARKAT: NOW WE HAVE TO PLAY DAMAGE CONTROL BECAUSE OF YOU’RE ABHORANT USE OF YOUR THINKPAN TO CONSIDER THAT ANY PRESENTATION OF YOURSELF PLUS VRISKA WOULD LEAD TO ANYTHING OTHER THAN MAJOR ISSUES.
JOHN: im sorry…
DAVE: aight so where you at? were going to start heading over
JOHN: uh, please don’t.
JOHN: i don’t really want to do anything right now.
JOHN: we can meet up tomorrow.
JOHN: i just… need some time.
KARKAT: YOU JUST WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT AND FUCK HER, DON’T YOU?
JOHN: n-no???
JADE: john cmon
JADE: we all know why
JADE: please can we just come over?
JOHN: i
JOHN: i don’t know.

Suddenly, over the speaker a loud knocking echoed behind John’s voice. However, the knocking was unlike one would expect; it was violent and persistent.

JOHN: uh sorry guys!
JOHN: i need to answer the door.
JOHN: i’ll talk to all later!
JOHN: please just understand, okay?
KARKAT: EGBERT, YOU BETTER NOT HANG UP ON US!

Before anyone else could get a word in, the call ended. The three friends sat in disbelief. None of them could look the other in the eye as the situation grew more and more heavy in their minds.

Jade in particular felt a mixture of guilt, anger, confusion, and concern. She couldn’t pick an emotion to feel because she didn’t want to be mad at her brother, but she couldn’t just let him get away with something she and many others believed was reprehensible.

Things had somehow gone from bad to worse in the blink of an eye. Everything degraded more and more with each passing moment because of the decisions of her brother. Even the best aspects of the day grew sour as his presence permeated through every facet of her problems.

Her teeth grit while the grip on her pillow tightened in her arms. A scream built up in her throat as she felt like a ticking timebomb ready to set off.

JADE: FUCK!

Her scream caught the attention of Dave and Karkat who were broken out of their own sea of thoughts.

DAVE: you good?
JADE: no im not good dave!
JADE: what the fuck are we supposed to do???
JADE: why cant things just be normal?!
JADE: why cant we be normal?
JADE: why does everything have to be some news story or some way to view us as anything other than the people we are?
JADE: im tired of having to deal with all this shit every fucking day!

Dave and Karkat looked at her, stunned.

DAVE: idk
DAVE: sorry jade i just dont know
KARKAT: JUST LIVE WITH IT.
KARKAT: THERE’S NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT.
KARKAT: SO I’D RATHER JUST DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT THAN LET SOME BULLSHIT TREATMENT GET ME DOWN.
DAVE: thats not helpful
KARKAT: WELL MISTER I DON’T KNOW, HOW ABOUT YOU SHARE YOUR FIVE STEP PLAN TO NO FEELING LIKE SHIT?
KARKAT: GO ON.

Jade stood up and spiked her pillow onto the ground.

JADE: STOP!!!!
JADE: i
JADE: it doesnt matter!
JADE: i just need some sleep…
JADE: i just…
JADE: need some sleep…
JADE: ill be fine in the morning

Her friends looked at one another and shrugged.

DAVE: yeah i should probably sleep too
DAVE: we have a long day tomorrow lol
DAVE: the great egbert intervention
DAVE: and hey ill actually get some fucking sleep tonight now that karkat actually has shit to make him stop snoring
KARKAT: WHATEVER.
KARKAT: I DON’T WANT TO WATCH MORE TV ANYWAYS. LAST THING I WANT TO SEE IS MORE EGBERT DRAMA.

With few words, the three readied for bed; the weight of the situation looming over them every second they sat with their idle thoughts. Seconds turned into minutes as Jade sat on the couch, the living room then filled with darkness.

She couldn’t help but think about John. A part of her wanted to wash the day away entirely—return everything to how things used to be. Every day used to suck, but it was the boring and self loathing kind of bad. It was something she’d grown accustomed to, albeit she didn’t exactly like it either. Now, everything had exploded in front of her, leaving things completely unmanageable.

In one aspect, things were happening again. Somewhere in the chaos she could perhaps find meaningful change; however, that kind of change now came at the cost of a scandal that even she didn’t want to involve herself with.

It was terrifying. There was no other word to describe it.

Jade felt a vibration from her pocket. When she checked it, she had some messages from a friend who was looking to help.

TT: I hope that everything is okay, Jade.
TT: I saw the news.
TT: I can deduce that you already knew this information. I’m sorry that things are going wrong, Jade.
TT: I would like to support you. If you would like to talk, feel free to give me a call, okay?

Jade looked at Rose’s messages, feeling warmth in her heart. Right now, she was the only one who understood. What she needed to do was talk.

She opened her contacts list and pulled up Rose’s number. Without hesitation, she hit the call button.

ROSE: Hello?
JADE: hi rose…
ROSE: Hello, Jade. I hope you’re okay.
JADE: im
JADE: i dont really know how i feel :(
JADE: its a lot
ROSE: I can tell. I’m guessing that your call with John didn’t go as planned?
JADE: nope!
JADE: he told me both of our dreams were bullshit and then told me about how hes dating vriska!
JADE: id say that was a pretty awful conversation!
ROSE: That does sound quite terrible.
JADE: then i talked to dirk and he helped a little bit
JADE: saying my dream was significant and junk
JADE: but what does this have to do with vriska being here now???
JADE: theres just so much to focus on now!
JADE: its so much rose
JADE: i wanted things to be different but now everythings on fire!
ROSE: I wouldn’t say things are on fire quite yet. Just because the press has identified John’s relationship with Vriska doesn’t mean they understand the nature of the issue. I believe we can come to some sort of resolution before further information gets out.
JADE: i guess…
JADE: but what do we even do about john dating a teenage vriska???
JADE: how do we even resolve that?
ROSE: It’s a tricky situation that I’m sure we’ll all be able to work on as a group. I plan on going to his house in the morning to confront him on the matter as well.
JADE: ok…
JADE: youre right i think we just need to confront him
JADE: and see where it goes
ROSE: By the way, did you talk to Dave and or Karkat about this? I assume you have.
JADE: i talked to dave
JADE: and we kinda had a lil moment before the whole vriska stuff happened
JADE: so yknow typical davekat situation lol
ROSE: Hopefully they understand.
JADE: dave seems pretty understanding. though i dont really know how much of that is actual understanding or just him being nice
ROSE: Well, I’m sure he means well.
JADE: he definitely does
JADE: thats dave typically lol
JADE: anyways im feeling a little bit better now
JADE: something about talking to you always makes me feel calmer haha
ROSE: I’m happy to support you, Jade.
ROSE: If you would like to talk more tomorrow after our intervention with John, I would be available to chat. I’m sure the situation will flare up some pent up emotions.
ROSE: Plus, if the trend continues, I’m sure you will have a dream worth discussing as well.
JADE: good idea!
JADE: im definitely down to hang out! :D
JADE: gives us more time to spend together as friends and stuff
ROSE: Indeed.
ROSE: You should get some rest, Jade. You have a long day tomorrow.
JADE: youre right
JADE: good night rose!
JADE: thanks for being here…
ROSE: Of course.
JADE: gnnn!
ROSE: Good night, Jade.

As Jade went to hang up, she hovered her thumb over the end call button, unsure if she wanted to say something further. What she wanted to say was on the tip of her tongue – yet she unfortunately couldn’t bring herself to say it.

Perhaps such words were best left unsaid for now.

With a single press, the call ended, leaving Jade to sit alone in the silent, dark living room once again. She felt alone. The temperature of the room began to dawn upon her as she slowly grew colder and colder.

It felt as if the room had dropped twenty degrees in an instant, leaving her woefully unprepared to handle the climate that she was now forced to withstand. She wondered what it would feel like if she had someone she could hug—someone she could put her arms around and feel the warmth of their body.

In her mind, a series of transforming silhouettes appeared, unable to land on a single individual. She wanted someone, but she didn’t quite know who that someone could be.

JADE: what the fuck is my problem…

Jade whispered to herself as she halted her train of thought.

JADE: im just thinking about relationship junk again…

She felt guilt for having such thoughts; if only there was someone who could help her realize that those thoughts were okay. Unfortunately, such a person wasn’t in her presence just yet.

Perhaps, in the morning she could find such a person—but for now, all she knew was that she needed to sleep.

Chapter Text

You floated through the endless void once again; the conserved momentum of an unknown push carried you through the vacuum of space, aimlessly guiding you to a destination unknown. Frosted tears crystalized beneath your eyes as you vacantly stared at the same image you were used to.

Emptiness. Perpetual emptiness filled your sight and soul.

You wondered just how much longer you’d be carried across this realm before you would see the exact scene you’d experienced hundreds of times prior. When would you reach Earth C and see the first bomb go off? When would the scream of Roxy’s high voice pierce your ears? When would Rose’s soft voice whisper in your ear?

ROSE: Jade…

She would repeat your name.

ROSE: Jade…

Her words would trail off with a final sentence.

ROSE: Please don’t forget…

Her words were etched into your mind, practically knitted into the fabric of your ears. The sequence of events that usually followed would loop you back to the black hole that had become like a friend of yours, a calling card for the inevitable pain you’d experience.

You could only hope that the wait wouldn’t be as long as usual. The ever expanding waits only served to drive you towards borderline insanity. A frozen state of paranoia that edged you at every moment, making you almost crave the atrocities about to form in front of your eyes.

Despite those feelings, you were no closer to the destination. If not for the slight kinetic energy radiation from your body to mask the oppressive cold, you could easily be fooled that you were stationary. A fact that you wished were true. Something about a definitive end was appealing.

After what felt like years, a spark of light appeared in the distance. Its splendor radiated in the chilling vacuum and filled your eyes. Finally, the events you had been anticipating would transpire once again. It was time.

However, despite your expectations, the light only continued to grow in scale—no planet appeared before your eyes. The shine became your destination that would consume your very being.

That was the moment where your masochistic comfort transformed into pure dread; no longer would you replay the horrific tragedies of a prophetic nightmare. Instead, you were flying straight towards the unknown at speeds impossible to define.

When the light finally took your eyes, only white remained in your vision. It was as if a flashbang had gone off in front of you, blinding you.

In your recovering vision, a familiar sight appeared; however, it wasn’t the one you had been begging for. Instead, it was the old building of your prior adventure. The one with the special person inside.

Instantly, your heart began to race while a flush ran across your face. A smile trembled upon your mouth as heat began to radiate through your body. You began to quietly laugh, manically staring at the building, imagining its interior. Imagining… her.

The animatronics stomped past you, shocking you from your thoughts. Their presence still remained a surprise as the surreal nature of their existence felt uncanny relative to the world around you.

Regardless, their presence was simply just a point of reference to mark exactly what was about to happen next. All you needed to do was go for it.

Without a second thought, you ran towards the doors of the building, ignoring the robotic animals. Reaching out your hands, you firmly gripped the double doors of the building and flung them open.

A gust of wind dramatically flew behind you, as if a temple had been opened for the first time in centuries, and before your very eyes stood the familiar girl once again.

Your eyes locked, mutual blushes running across your faces.

Without a word, you ran into her arms as you two began your embrace. The warmth of her body filled your soul with a happiness you couldn’t put to words. Tears streamed down your face, breaking the crystalized residue that once latched onto your eyelids.

YOU: oh my god…

You breathed heavily, unwilling to let go of her.

HER: oh my god…

Your embrace lasted for minutes as the emotions that once felt impossible continued to flow through your body. You felt whole. You felt…

YOU: jade…
HER: jade…

The two of you separated while still holding each other’s arms. You stared into her eyes through her thick round glasses. All you could see in her emerald eyes was your reflection, which then reflected her.

YOU: youre…
YOU: youre so beautiful…
YOU: holy shit…

You spoke with heavy breaths, unable to coherently represent your thoughts.

HER: youre so beautiful…
HER: youre…

She paused.

jade: youre…

The two of you locked eyes in silence, blushes growing heavier and heavier.

Without another comment, the two of you locked lips, feeling the plush pillows cup one another in romantic beauty. Your eyes closed, feeling a rush of heat flood your body like you’d never felt before in your life. Beneath your skirt, you could feel your penis grow stiffer and stiffer, excited by the moment.

In response, you felt hers press against your leg, sharing a mutual display of passion that wasn’t just the press of your lips.

When your lips parted, you couldn’t help but go in for more. Tens, hundred, no, thousands of kisses were exchanged, each one growing more passionate than the last. You brought her around the corner and pressed her against the wall as you continued to make out.

You grinded up against her body as the length of your kisses began to expand. You needed her. She needed you.

Your lips parted for more than just a moment to share an exchange.

BOTH: fuck…

Heavy breaths left your mouths, catching breath after an extended makeout session.

BOTH: hehehe

You both laughed in the same timbre.

YOU: youre so fucking hot…
YOU: i
YOU:
YOU: fuck…
YOU: im so fucking hot…
HER: hehe
HER: im so fucking hot…
HER: jade…
YOU: jade…
BOTH: jade…

Tears ran down both of your eyes—large smiles matched one another as the liquid flowed across your cheeks.

BOTH: jade…

You couldn’t help but say her name. She couldn’t help but say yours.

You locked eyes with her once again and read into her thoughts the exact same thing you were thinking.

This wasn’t enough—you needed more. She needed more.

You reached your hand for the waist of her skirt and gripped it as tight as you could. You just needed to-

KARKAT: JADE!
KARKAT: WAKE UP!

Jade’s eyes shot open, her body covered in sweat. Her blurry vision barely locks onto Karkat who is standing next to her. She put on her glasses and looked at him with confusion.

JADE: wha?
JADE: karkat whats wrong?

She was in complete shambles as she tried to compose herself in front of her friend.

KARKAT: IT’S 10AM. WE NEED TO GO TALK SOME FUCKING SENSE INTO JOHN BECAUSE APPARENTLY HE’S LOST HIS FUCKING THINKPAN.
JADE: wait
JADE: its 10 already???
KARKAT: YES. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, NOT EVERYONE IN THIS HOUSE GETS TO SLEEP FOR TEN HOURS EVERY NIGHT.
JADE: but you dont do anything?
KARKAT: AND YET I STILL GET SHIT SLEEP. YOU DON’T NEED TO FLEX YOUR LAVISH WEALTH OF REST ON ME. I ALREADY SEE THAT ENOUGH WITH YOUR OBNOXIOUS AMOUNT OF ENERGY ON A DAILY BASIS.
KARKAT: MAYBE I’LL SEE THIS AS A POINT TO FLEX MY ABILITY TO BE AWAKE IN A TIMELY MANNER.
JADE: karkat i have a sleeping condition ok? :(
JADE: are you really gonna make fun of a girl for sleeping in cuz she has a problem with waking up?
KARKAT: I
KARKAT: FUCK YOU.
JADE: hehe gotcha there ;)
KARKAT: PUT THAT AWAY. I DON’T LIKE IT.
JADE: dont like what?
JADE: this?
JADE: ;D ;D ;D
KARKAT: PLEASE STOP.
JADE: why not? ;D
KARKAT: THIS ISN’T THE APPROPRIATE RESPONSE. I’M ASKING YOU TO STOP WITH YOUR BULLSHIT WITH THAT WINK RIGHT NOW.
KARKAT: WE’VE GOT BUSINESS.

In the middle of their conversation, Dave walked into the room, sipping on a cup of alchemized coffee. He looked at the two of them, gave a slight smirk and continued to drink his coffee.

Eventually, he decided to step in.

DAVE: yo karkat hows the blackrom shit with jade going?
KARKAT: WHAT?!
DAVE: sup jade
DAVE: did you know that bugatti outside is karkats?
KARKAT: DAVE, WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING-
DAVE: thanks for letting me borrow the keys to your lambo last night man
DAVE: it was a sick ass drive
JADE: hehehe
KARKAT: WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING ABOUT, HARLEY?
JADE: hahahahahaha
KARKAT: STOP LAUGHING! YOU SOUND LIKE A FUCKING MANIAC.
JADE: hahahahahahahahahaha
KARKAT: STOP.
KARKAT: DAVE. FIX HER.
KARKAT: THIS IS YOUR FAULT.
DAVE: sorry bro
DAVE: i was just trying to be a good wing man
JADE: hahahahahahahahaha
KARKAT: WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO FORCE SOME SHIT BETWEEN US?
DAVE: nah man its ok i understand
DAVE: you dont need my help
DAVE: you got this shit on lock
KARKAT: ???
DAVE: jade youre gonna have to rank him here
DAVE: hows the blackrom quality here?
DAVE: i dont really know the quadrants shit so i cant see it
KARKAT: DAVE HOLY FUCKING SHIT PLEASE.
JADE: hehehe
JADE: tbh its like a 4/10
JADE: karkats kinda bad at this
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?
KARKAT: I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW I’D MAKE A GREAT KISMESIS.
KARKAT: YOUR HUMAN THINKPAN CAN’T POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND THE NUANCES OF A GOOD KISMESISSITUDE.
JADE: sounds like youre gonna have to prove it huh?
DAVE: smooth
KARKAT: FOR FUCKS SAKE YOU TWO.
KARKAT: DAVE, I KNOW YOU WERE DOING SOME FLUSHED BULLSHIT LAST NIGHT. DON’T ACT LIKE YOU’RE SOME INNOCENT BYSTANDER.
DAVE: i got a vested interest in the happiness of my best friend
DAVE: you want to date jade so im gonna help you out here
KARKAT: THIS IS NOT HOW THIS SHIT GOES DOWN, STRIDER.
KARKAT: YOU DON’T GET TO JUST TALK ABOUT THIS SHIT IN FRONT OF THE PERSON YOU’RE TRYING TO HOOK SOMEONE UP WITH.
DAVE: why are you acting like this is some serious attempt at getting you two hitched?
KARKAT: I
KARKAT: STRIDER.
KARKAT: STOP FUCKING WITH ME.
JADE: i think you did a great job hyping up karkat dave!
DAVE: thanks
JADE: maybe im misinterpreting it entirely here but
JADE: are you suggesting that we
DAVE: i mean

Dave and Karkat looked at one another and then back at Jade, who stared at them with wide eyes, a big smile, and a wagging tail.

KARKAT: ABSOLUTELY NOT.
KARKAT: NO
KARKAT: WE SHOULDN’T BE TALKING ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW. WE NEED TO GO SEE JOHN.
JADE: …
DAVE: ye we can table this for later
DAVE: this is a serious discussion that needs a bit more time than this

Dave looked at Jade and tipped his head towards her, basically signaling his thoughts on the matter.

DAVE: anyways we gotta get out of here
DAVE: im not suggesting theres a time crunch since john famously doesnt leave his fucking house
DAVE: but im also not taking my chances with some home alone levels of house setup bullshit if he finds out were coming
JADE: youre right
JADE: gimme a minute and ill get ready
KARKAT: DON’T TAKE TOO LONG.
KARKAT: WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO KILL.

Jade grabbed some random clothes off the ground and brought them into the bathroom. When she set them on the counter, she caught a glimpse of her reflection. Right in front of her was an exact copy of her, as mirrors tend to show.

Something about seeing the reflection filled her with a warm sensation, creating a blush across her face. Despite her notably messy hair and pajamas, she couldn’t help but find herself so…

She smacked her cheeks and looked at the sink, taking a deep breath. Something about her dream last night changed something in her she couldn’t describe. A part of her wondered if she’d always felt this way – or perhaps, this was a recent development.

How she felt about her reflection wasn’t important. What she needed to do was get ready to meet up at John’s house. She desperately wanted to talk some sort of sense into her brother; his recent decisions felt so out of nowhere yet so in character for him. She didn’t know if she should be surprised or not.

Regardless of her thoughts, she shook them away and focused on getting herself dressed. Her previous pajama pants and hoodie were now replaced with a black shirt with an atom on it and a long flowing sparkly silver skirt. Beneath the skirt, she wore a set of stretched leggings with a few holes on the thighs and comfortable white socks. On top of her shirt she wore an unzipped black jacket that hung on her body like it was a size or two too large.

When she looked up to the mirror to make sure she looked decent, all she could see was her. Her body tensed up as her visage was staring back at her with the same expression. Cautiously, she grabbed a hair brush off the counter and brushed her hair, trying to keep her eyes averted from the reflection.

Her tail erratically wagged from beneath the skirt, practically begging to free itself while she nervously avoided eye contact. Eventually, she slipped it through a small hole in the back and she slammed the brush on the desk. Without a word she took a peek at the mirror one last time before rushing out of the room.

As she returned back to the living room, she overheard Dave and Karkat having a conversation.

KARKAT: JEGUS FUCK, DAVE.
KARKAT: I THOUGHT WE WEREN’T DOING THIS.
KARKAT: YOU FUCKING TOLD ME LAST NIGHT.
DAVE: dude ok listen
DAVE: some shit changed
DAVE: i dont know what
DAVE: but im getting the vibe jade really needs us
DAVE: so we gotta step up our game
KARKAT: I’M NOT GOING TO FORCE THIS.
DAVE: im not asking you to
DAVE: fuck
DAVE: idk how to explain this shit
DAVE: im willing to put my shit aside to help her out
KARKAT: THAT SOUNDS FLUSHED, DAVE.
DAVE: i dont really give a shit about that
DAVE: if you dont want in whatever
DAVE: but im just gonna feel like shit if she has to go through another one of these crises
KARKAT: WOW. HOW KNIGHTLY OF YOU, STRIDER.
KARKAT: SOUNDS LIKE YOU LOVE HELPING PRINCESSES IN NEED.
KARKAT: SPREAD YOUR FLUSHED FEELINGS BY USING THEM AS AN EXCUSE TO ASSIST SOME MAIDENS IN THEIR ROMANTIC TROUBLES.
DAVE: damn did they have troll medieval times
DAVE: was there like a whole ass chivalry code and everything
DAVE: oh fuck i cant imagine how shitty troll feudalism was
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
DAVE: damn no troll feudalism
DAVE: ok well thats not a bad thing but
DAVE: i mean i guess theres just knight bullshit on hell murder planet
KARKAT: OF COURSE THERE WAS “KNIGHT BULLSHIT” ON ALTERNIA. HOW DO YOU THINK THE CONDESCE TOOK OVER SO MANY PLANETS AND ENFORCED POLICY?
DAVE: idk military and shit
DAVE: wars in underdeveloped nations
DAVE: ignoring established policy
KARKAT: DAVE THAT IS THE “KNIGHT BULLSHIT.” EXCEPT I’M OBVIOUSLY USING YOUR FICTIONAL ASS HUMAN “KNIGHT BULLSHIT” TO EXPLAIN YOUR CURRENT “KNIGHT BULLSHIT.”

Jade slowly walked up to them, thinking that now was probably the best time to approach, pretending she didn’t hear the whole conversation prior.

JADE: ok im all ready!

Dave and Karkat looked back at her, stunned at her outfit.

KARKAT: OH HEY.
KARKAT: YOU SMELL LIKE SHIT, BUT I’M JUST GOING TO IGNORE THAT. LET’S GET GOING.

Dave punched him in the shoulder, making him jolt back in pain.

DAVE: ye lets get going

Karkat walked over to the door, not even waiting for his friends while Jade quickly jumped over the back of the couch and into the seat where she grabbed her red tennis shoes.

JADE: karkat wait up!

After hastily tying her shoes, Jade ran outside to catch up with Karkat while Dave let out a slight chuckle and smirked. Maybe he wasn’t forcing anything at all.

John stood in his kitchen, facing the open refrigerator; the cool air of the box ran across his body like the entrance to an ancient crypt. The unknown was before his very eyes. All he needed to do was reach out his hands and grab it. His wants and desires were just beyond that barrier – yet a force opposed him like the strings on a puppet, pulling him back.

His stomach growled—his hunger beckoning for immediate action. Instead, he slammed the door in front of him and pressed a green button on the wall next to it. Before his very eyes, a small fruit pie materialized on the platform in front of the button.

He stared at it, recognizing its shape and color. The contours of the crust, the divots near the center, and the Roxy pink wrapper jumped out at him immediately. It’s what he needed. This was the right choice.

JOHN: this is the right choice.

The pie lifted from the counter and slowly approached John’s mouth; his hands made quick work of the wrapper while his mouth opened wide, anxiously waiting to take a bite of the delight. With a single chomp, the filling spread across his mouth and tastebuds. The sugar of the fruity interior contrasted the dry crust that created a tonal whiplash as he chewed.

As he swallowed, the weight of his decision made itself clear as the pie dropped like a rock into his stomach.

Slam!

Each swallow led to more and more boulders cascading into his stomach.

Slam! Slam! Slam!

With one final bite, he went to finish his pasty; he embraced it with all of his being.

Knock knock knock!

It was-

Knock knock knock!

Delicious.

Knock knock knock!

John jolted awake, hearing loud slams echo through his house. He quickly put on his glasses and checked his phone.

12:04pm.

Knock knock knock!

A loud, muffled voice accompanied the incessant knocking upon his front door. Despite its lack of definition, John knew immediately who was screaming. Only one person could effortlessly belt the loud.

JOHN: fuck…

John got up and felt a series of notifications rumble in his hand. Upon looking at his phone again, he saw a message from someone special.

AG: Joooooooohn!
AG: I decided to check out this fake as hell world. I don’t know how guys managed to make this place so 8oring, 8ut you managed somehow!!!!!!!!
AG: Whatever, I’m sure there’s something worth a damn here. May8e I can actually make things interesting around here. ::::)
AG: Anything is 8etter than that shitty restaurant you dragged me to.
AG: Anyways, enjoy your sleep! <33333333

Vriska…

John thought about Vriska, the look on her face as he grabbed her arm on the battlefield. He saw a copy of him and his friends appear in front of Lord English, ready to do battle. Vriska gave her characteristic smile to the display, ready to watch the fight as if it were some anime final battle.

He remembered her excitement melt to that of sheer confusion when his hand touched her arm.

VRISKA: John????????

The sound of her voice imprinted itself in his mind. It was the first time he’d heard her so scared and confused. For a moment, he questioned if who he was grabbing was indeed Vriska; however, he had no time to question it.

The all consuming black hole before his eyes reflected precisely what his anime dream had depicted. He needed to commit.

With just a thought, he and Vriska appeared back on Earth C, standing before Roxy and Calliope. The shock and confusion on her face spoke louder than the words she screamed into the open air. For the first time, he’d truly outplayed her. He was the arbiter of the unexpected between them this time. This new universe played by his rules, not hers.

Knock knock knock!

KARKAT: *UNINTELLIGIBLE SCREAMING*

John broke out of his thoughts and looked down at his open hands. He eventually lifted them to his chest and clenched them as hard as he could.

JOHN: this was the right choice.

Jade, Dave, and Karkat stood in front of John’s house, impatiently waiting for him to answer. Karkat continued to slam on the door with his arm, screaming at the top of his lungs.

KARKAT: EGBERT, YOU BETTER OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR RIGHT NOW OR WE’LL BREAK THIS SHIT DOWN.
KARKAT: FUCK-

Karkat winced in pain as the extended duration of knocking had put great strain on his hand, wrist, and arm. They practically glowed red on his soft gray skin.

KARKAT: JOOOOOOHN!!!!
KARKAT: I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE!!!!
KARKAT: OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!

Jade and Dave just watched him continue his attack on the house. Eventually, their glances met before looking back at Karkat.

DAVE: yo karkat i think we mightve missed him
DAVE: that or hes out cold

Karkat looked at Dave as if he were a moron.

KARKAT: YES, LET’S LEAVE THE PEDOPHILIC DUMBASS TO HIS OWN DEVICES.
KARKAT: THAT’S A GREAT IDEA, DAVE! THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR ALLEGIENCES HERE!
DAVE: dude im not saying we give up
KARKAT: THEN WHAT ARE YOU SAYING? HOW ABOUT YOU HELP OUT A LITTLE BIT HERE!
DAVE: im just saying knocking like a maniac aint gonna get you anywhere closer to the inside

Jade sighed.

JADE: i agree
JADE: i feel like john knows were coming and doesnt want to answer
JADE: knocking is probably not gonna help

Karkat stopped knocking and rolled his eyes.

KARKAT: THEN PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME.
KARKAT: WHAT DO YOU PROPOSE? SINCE THE CROWD HAS SUCH LARGE THINKPANS AS TO CRITICIZE SOUND FUCKING LOGIC.
JADE: we could break in!
KARKAT:
DAVE:
KARKAT: I DON’T DISAGREE WITH THAT.
DAVE: right yeah this guys below respect at this point
DAVE: lets fuck his shit up

John rubbed his eyes and made his way downstairs. The knocking, for some reason, had ceased. The people he knew would come knocking had seemingly given up on their efforts. A part of him hoped that he could be left alone and not have to explain himself for what felt like the hundredth time.

It was stressful thinking about the allegations that would be slung against him. Just because he was dating Vriska didn’t mean he was a horrible person, right? She was an adult now! Why was that so hard for everyone to understand?

When he got down stairs, he stared at the now-silent front door. It felt quiet. Too quiet.

Step by step, he approached the door, growing more and more anxious about what he’d see when he opened the door. The pressure grew in his body—his heart pounded faster and faster while his stomach growled. His arm stretched towards the doorknob.

With a twist of the handle, light filled his vision. The future beamed into his eyes like a flashlight at night.

When his vision cleared, the grassy front yard appeared before his eyes. Fluffy white clouds floated through the nice blue sky, bringing in a beautiful afternoon. John peeked his head out the door and looked around.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

The soft Spring breeze whistled through the air, creating a kind of ring that cycled through John’s ears. It was beautiful. This is exactly what he’d missed.

Suddenly, the sound of shattered glass echoed behind John. He quickly looked behind him and heard the sound of multiple footsteps stomp through the second floor of the house.

JOHN: OH SHIT!

John turned back to the outside and tensed up. His eyes rapidly went between his house and the open street. Despite his desires to do something, indecision took over him and planted his legs in place—stiffening them to the point of unusability.

KARKAT: EGBERT, DON’T THINK YOU CAN ESCAPE FROM US YOU PIECE OF SHIT!

Jade, Dave, and Karkat met John’s eyes as he continued to stand in the doorframe of the front door. Their glares shot daggers directly into John’s soul as his heart rate continued to rise.

In what felt like an instant, John was suddenly sitting on his couch, pressed against its back. His vision and hearing were fuzzy as the world grew blurrier and blurrier.

Shouts that appeared to be directed at him rang in his ears, making it harder and harder to stabilize. His stomach growled, begging for him to do something, anything. His hunger beckoned him.

John’s vision flashed between his blurry house and his hand reaching for the green button. His arm got closer and closer, slowly struggling to satisfy himself. He needed to press it. He needed to be free.

Finally, his hand made contact with the button, feeling it click in.

Jade stared at her brother who struggled on his couch, mumbling strange nothings. Karkat screamed at him as expected, but what he had to say no longer registered in her mind. She was just focused on him.

Words of their phone call echoed in the back of her head, making her think more and more about his actions. Yes, what came next was obvious to her.

Jade slapped John with full force.

JOHN: AAAAA!!!

John screamed, suddenly waking up from his trance. Karkat went silent, seeing Jade’s hand slowly wind back from her attack. John looked at Jade with tears in his eyes.

JOHN: j-jade???

Jade stared at him silently. Her eyes spoke thousands of words to him.

JOHN: i-i’m sorry jade!
JOHN: if you’re mad about what i said, i promise i didn’t mean it!
JADE: thats not why im mad dumbass!!!!

Dave, Karkat, and John looked at her, stunned.

JADE: how fucking DARE you decide to come back after all these years and betray everyones trust!
JADE: you had this mission you said you wanted to go on and then decided the best course of action was to bring vriska back and then date a teenager!
JADE: and then after all that tell me that my traumatic dream means fucking nothing!
JADE: whats your fucking problem?!
JADE: you piece of SHIT!!!!

Her voice echoed through the house, leaving everyone else to freeze. John’s eyes filled with tears, looking almost offended by her words.

JOHN: jade…
JOHN: i didn’t know how much that hurt you…
JOHN: you’re experiences are real and valid and- fuck! i’m such an asshole!
JOHN: you deserve to be mad at me.
JOHN: i invalidated you, and that’s my fault…
JOHN: but…

John sighed and looked at his hands.

JOHN: the vriska stuff isn’t a problem.
JOHN: i promise.

Dave shook his head.

DAVE: dude
DAVE: how is it not a problem?
JOHN: she’s an adult now!
JOHN: how many times do i have to say it?
JOHN: i wish you could see her right now cuz that’d be the exact proof you need.
DAVE: im sorry man but i just dont believe you
DAVE: you can fix this shit right now if you just break up with her
DAVE: this isnt fucking hard
KARKAT: LITERALLY.
KARKAT: TELL HER IT’S OVER SO YOU CAN MOVE THE FUCK ON.
KARKAT: HER PUMP BISCUIT CAN HANDLE THE HEARTBREAK.
KARKAT: FUCK, SHE ACTUALLY DESERVES IT.
JOHN: i-i can’t!
JOHN: i’m the only one she thinks is real!
JOHN: if i break her heart then…
JOHN: i don’t want to know!
JADE: john were not giving you an option here!
JADE: if the media finds out shes a child still then we’re all fucked
JADE: if we seriously have to make her break up with you i-
JADE: i dont even know!

The three roommates stood over John like giants. Their titanic size slowly diminished the growing emotions that flowed within him.

Jade, on the other hand, stood in front of John as an equal—as a friend. She wanted to reach out and help him out, but she knew he wouldn’t let her. He was simply too buried within his own mind to do anything more than be a stiff taxidermied vessel where her brother used to be.

ROSE: You should listen to them.

Rose said from behind. None of them happened to notice her entrance.

JOHN: rose?

Rose approached the group and smiled at everyone.

DAVE: when the hell did you get here?
ROSE: Oh, I just came in. I figured there would be some sort of gathering after seeing the news last night.
KARKAT: WHERE’S KANAYA?
ROSE: I told her to keep to her work. This was a matter that I knew I could handle myself. She has business that is far more important than an intervention regarding the dubious age of a friend’s girlfriend.

Jade stared at Rose, seeing her surprising calm in the sea of anxiety and stress within the room. She was like a lighthouse in the turbulent, freezing ocean—creating a kind of reassurance that brought the high energy of the group down to something more manageable.

ROSE: John.

Rose looked into John’s eyes.

ROSE: I don’t believe you are trying to be dishonest in this instance. You are operating with information that is counter to the rest of us.
ROSE: This makes me wonder, however, why did you bother going down this path in the first place?
JOHN: i-
JOHN: i don’t know…
JOHN: it just felt right i guess.
KARKAT: YES! OF COURSE! BECOMING A MATESPRIT SWEEPS BELOW YOUR AGE IS SOMETHING THAT FEELS RIGHT TO YOU! HOW COULD WE HAVE BEEN SO FUCKING BLIND?
ROSE: I don’t think you’re taking John in good faith, Karkat. How about we hear him out? Even if he is in the wrong, I think seeing what he has to say for himself rather than shouting assertions of what we believe he intended gets us nowhere.
ROSE: Are we not familiar with how an intervention works?
JADE: i guess youre right

Jade looked at her hand and then at John’s cheek. Her eyes shook as she thought about the violence she did unto her brother. Guilt settled in despite her feeling justified in her actions.

DAVE: i think you missed the part of this where we tried to get these answers out last night
JOHN: over a phone call i didn’t expect to be a group session!
JOHN: i wanted to talk to you specifically, dave!
JADE: yeah i kinda agree we probably shouldnt have been involved with that
DAVE: ok yknow what
DAVE: fuck youre right
DAVE: sorry man i didnt mean to break your trust like that
DAVE: i fucked up
ROSE: See, isn’t this much better? We get to properly communicate our feelings here. We can actually approach him with a bit more grace despite his mistakes.
JOHN: thanks rose…
JOHN: and apology accepted, dave. i probably should’ve said something at the time too.
ROSE: Right, now let’s get to the bottom of this.
ROSE: John, is it true that you believe Vriska to be our age?
JOHN: yes! i literally had this issue when i brought her back!
JOHN: callie said vriska aged up when i brought her here.
JOHN: plus, she looks our age too!
ROSE: Interesting.
JADE: ok but how is that even possible???
JADE: thats not how your retcon powers even work right?
JADE: and if thats the case then why didnt you just bring vriska back earlier?
JOHN: i don’t know. it didn’t feel necessary, i guess. or relevant…
ROSE: Would you say that it didn’t feel
ROSE: True?
JOHN: yeah.
JOHN: it didn’t feel…
JOHN: canon.

The room stood silent, letting John’s words linger in the air like dust.

JADE: canon…
JOHN: it didn’t feel right to do until now.
JOHN: it was like callie telling me to bring her here was something that needed to happen.
JOHN: i made my choice.
ROSE: As I suspected. So, what felt canon to you was to date her regardless of circumstances.
ROSE: Because that’s what you felt needed to happen.
JADE: john…
JADE: are you saying that you believe that shes an adult because thats what would need to happen for things to progress like this?
JADE: you cant date her unless shes an adult so
JADE: she must be one if you are
KARKAT: I GENUINELY DON’T GIVE A FUCK WHAT ALL THIS CANON BULLSHIT MEANS. REGARDLESS OF WHATEVER JOHN BELIEVES, THAT DOESN’T CHANGE THE IMMUTABLE FACT THAT VRISKA IS, IN FACT, STILL EIGHT SWEEPS.
KARKAT: YOU ARE ALL FUCKING DERANGED IF YOU THINK THAT THIS ARBITRARY SHIT MEANS ANYTHING MORE THAN SELF JUSTIFICATION WITHIN THIS MORON’S THINKPAN TO BE WITH HER.
KARKAT: HE HAS HAD FEELINGS FOR HER FOR SWEEPS. THIS ISN’T NEWS TO ANYONE. WHAT’S THE POINT OF GIVING HIM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT LIKE THIS?
DAVE: im kinda with karkat on this one
DAVE: does it really matter what canon means
DAVE: bottom line is that his mind is skewed
DAVE: hes confirmation biasing his ass towards groomer land
JADE: …
ROSE: Is there something you’d like to say, Jade?
JADE: oh uh
JADE: sorry i was thinking

Jade indeed had Rose’s words circling in her mind. Dave and Karkat were completely justified in their assertions about John’s actions, but something told Jade that the importance of canon, dreams, and belief were relevant to his decisions.

In spite of what she believed, it was hard to hold it against her brother. He wasn’t exactly the most keyed into his own emotions; he essentially lived based on the whims of those around him. If he was told to do something, he did it.

Canon seemed no different. It was another thing telling him to do something. At least to Jade, while the actions were bad, the justification seemed oddly more reasonable.

She shook her head, realizing where her line of thought was taking her. There was no defending it. Why was she starting to believe him?

JOHN: i’m sorry guys.
JOHN: this is something that i don’t think i could really explain well.
JOHN: i wanted to keep it a secret for a while just because i wasn’t sure how to put this.
JOHN: i wish there was some way i could prove to you that i’m not doing anything wrong…

A loud knock filled the air after John finished speaking. It was as if the universe had answered his prayers. Jade looked at the door and tensed up.

She could think of many different people who could be behind the door; yet, her mind couldn’t land on a single one. Without the door opening, infinite possibilities existed. Schrodinger’s box would remain closed. Who that person could be would be entirely determined by what was necessary to happen.

The word canon echoed through her mind.

Something about it stuck to her like a hair onto fabric; the inevitability of such a thing would typically demand one to see the outcome as simply expected. However, the conscious mind still finds such a normal occurrence as cause for alarm.

Canon was something that was so normal and digestible—but she couldn’t grasp why its relevance controlled every aspect of being. The aspect of random chance and uncertainty was untenable by the average person. Influence over such a powerful force required someone able to see the fabrics of reality and have the hairs, that are fundamental pieces of what controls all aspects of chance, stick to it and form a string of events that provides a favorable outcome.

One could say, canon is the outcome seen best by the one steering it.

Jade’s mind of course would be unable to comprehend something so outside her aspect, but she knew that Schrodinger’s box needed to be opened. Perhaps, the contents of the box itself were unable to be controlled directly, but instead the world surrounding it, creating circumstances that influence the contents of it.

What’s in the box?

Why don’t we see for ourselves, shall we?

John looked at his friends and gave an awkward smile.

JOHN: i’ll get it.

He walked towards the door, walking ever closer to seeing the state of Schrodinger’s cat behind it. The person who would be most required for this circumstance. He may not be able to figure it out, but some others within the room knew the moment the knocks began.

As the door opened, a silhouette took shape in the blinding light. Their figure was unmistakable—it was one John and the others hadn’t seen in years. However, something about them felt off. They were much more gaunt than one would expect.

TEREZI: WH3R3S VR1SK4??

Terezi stood before John, her first words catching him off guard.

JOHN: happy to see you too, terezi! :D

Terezi pushed John to the side and stepped to the center of the room, her nose actively tracing for a scent she’d been searching years for.

DAVE: holy shit
DAVE: terezi
TEREZI: SHUT UP D4V3 1 N33D TO FOCUS
TEREZI: W3 C4N C4TCH UP L4T3R

Karkat walked over to Terezi and put an arm on her shoulder. He opened his mouth, but words simply failed to come out. It was as if years of build up had left him speechless for the moment of her return.

Terezi’s face suddenly jolted as her head locked onto the stairs. She ran as fast as she could to the second floor while the others followed suit. However, Jade and Rose remained downstairs. Something told them that the results of following her would not be the best to witness.

Rose turned to Jade and gave a smile.

ROSE: You knew it would be Terezi, didn’t you?
JADE: wha-
JADE: i guess so yeah
JADE: i mean circumstantially it makes the most sense that terezi would get here around now
JADE: i messaged her last night and im sure travel from outside the universe back to here probably takes a while
JADE: and if vriska isnt here then
ROSE: But how do you know Vriska isn’t here?
JADE: cuz it wouldnt make sense
JADE: it just didnt feel right
JADE: given how john was acting and all
ROSE: A bold assumption.
JADE: i guess so

Jade looked at her hands. Rose was correct that she knew Terezi was behind the door. She knew Vriska wasn’t in the house the whole time. But why didn’t she check? It felt so obvious to her that she wasn’t there, but why did she come to that thought? It was an interesting question. One that she couldn’t properly answer.

Yet that is.

A loud shriek came from upstairs. The sounds of Terezi’s voice echoed down to the living room. One didn’t need much to put two and two together.

John fell from the second floor down onto the carpet between Rose and Jade. The two looked upward to see Terezi heavily breathing with teal tears streaming down her face. She jumped down directly in front of John and grabbed him by the collar.

TEREZI: JOHN…
TEREZI: YOU’R3 D34D TO M3!
JOHN: terezi… im sorry!
TEREZI: YOU D1DN’T T3LL M3…
TEREZI: N3V3R SP34K TO M3 4G41N YOU LY1NG P13C3 OF SH1T!
TEREZI: T3LL VR1SK4 TO GO FUCK H3RS3LF TOO!!!
TEREZI: 1 DONT W4NT TO S33 31TH3R OF YOU 3V3R 4G41N!!!!

Wiping the tears from her eyes, she stepped over John and walked to the door. Emotions continued to overwhelm her as she got further and further away. She hadn’t felt betrayal this bad in years. Somehow, it felt almost worse than the last time. Foolish of her to believe it couldn’t happen again. With a slam, everything was put behind her.

Dave and Karkat came back down stairs, staring at the aftermath of the events. Karkat’s eyes wide with fear.

DAVE: holy fuck
DAVE: john how did you actually fuck up this badly
KARKAT: I KNOW EXACTLY HOW.
KARKAT: THIS MORON CAN’T BE A NORMAL FUCKING PERSON. WHY THE FUCK DID YOU NOT TELL HER?

John sat up and tried to hold back his tears.

JOHN: i wasn’t trying to hurt anyone!
KARKAT: AND YET YOU STILL DECIDED TO PAIL WITH HER? IS THAT THE KIND OF GAME YOU PLAY?
JOHN: i
JOHN: i don’t know…
DAVE: dude
DAVE: those sheets are *stained*

Jade looked down at her brother with pity. In just two days, he’d done more damage than he could’ve ever imagined. A part of her wished she could do something to fix everything. However, the solution seemed so far out of reach.

Karkat shook his head and walked towards the door—Dave followed suit.

KARKAT: GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR NEW EIGHT SWEEPS MATESPRITSHIP, EGBERT.
KARKAT: I’M SURE IT’S BEEN WORTH IT FOR YOU.
KARKAT: JUST KEEP THIS SHIT PRIVATE. FOR ALL OF OUR SAKES.
KARKAT: GO FUCK YOURSELF.

Karkat flung open the door and walked outside. Dave gave a long stare at John; their eyes couldn’t quite meet because of Dave’s sunglasses, but a slow shake of his head was enough to get the message across.

All that remained within John’s house were John himself, Rose, and Jade. John rubbed his eyes, trying to stop the flow of tears, but the current continued to flow regardless of his efforts to dam them.

JOHN: im sorry…
JOHN: fuck.
JOHN: i should have told her…
JOHN: i don’t care if no one believes me about her being an adult.
JOHN: i hurt terezi…
JOHN: SHIT!

Rose kneeled down and put her hand on his shoulder.

ROSE: We all make mistakes, John.
ROSE: I can’t say I endorse the ones you’ve made here, but I’m glad you can accept that you are, indeed, a major fuck up.
JADE: rose!
ROSE: This outcome doesn’t surprise me. Your reclusive behavior the last several years was the perfect breeding ground for such an outcome. But, I’m here to support you so that you don't continue to spiral down this endless path, John.
ROSE: Just make sure not to make any more blunders, okay?

John weakly nodded.

Jade couldn’t even begin to formulate words to describe how she felt. All of it was so predictable yet so surprising. It felt mundane while also completely out of left field. Her brother had the capacity to make boneheaded decisions or be easily influenced into certain actions. He had the capacity to hurt people. That fact alone didn’t stop the shock of those events happening. The obvious isn’t always the most delightful outcome.

She could slap him again if she wanted to. She could beat him into the ground. Alternatively, she could hug him and console him—provide infinite empathy to her brother and help him to his feet again, putting trust in his words.

It was this crossroads that left her with a choice. Of course such a choice exists in all facets of life, but such a choice would impact the entire flow of the universe itself. Consider it a coin flip. Though, to someone like her, it wasn’t the future that mattered, it was the space that contained it. The decision is less a decision and more a world to be manipulated. All she needed to do was let the universe choose what was best.

JADE: john…

Jade whispered so quietly, one could barely hear her.

JADE: we can talk about this later
JADE: i need to go

John nodded; after all, he was in no position to make decisions anymore.

ROSE: I must go as well.
ROSE: Kanaya will be home in four hours, and I have a few errands to run before she gets home. I hope you understand.
JOHN: its ok…
JOHN: i’ll be fine.
JOHN: i just need to reevaluate some stuff i guess haha

Somehow, a smile formed on his face. Despite everything, he was able to push past his negative emotions. Such is the nature of John Egbert.

Rose and Jade made their leave from John’s house, leaving him to sulk on his own. Potentially his lover would return to console him, though most everyone would be able to assume the outcome of his openness towards her.

Regardless, that was not something for Rose and Jade to consider at that moment. They stood in the afternoon sun, basking in its warmth while they silently thought about the events that had transpired.

Of course, such thoughts were merely repeats of those in the moment. There was much to think about, after all. Especially for Jade.

ROSE: Jade.

Jade glanced at Rose who smiled at her warmly.

ROSE: I have a bit more time until Kanaya is home.
ROSE: Do you want to have that chat I promised last night?
JADE: oh uh
JADE: sure!
JADE: i think karkat and dave probably want some space anyways
JADE: maybe itll give them a little bonding time together hehe
ROSE: Perhaps.

Jade’s stomach rumbled.

JADE: oh jeez i forgot i havent eaten anything today!
JADE: karkat was so anxious to rush us out the door i forgot to eat!
ROSE: Shall we have a late lunch then?
ROSE: I haven’t had much today either.
JADE: that works for me!
JADE: ooo actually we should go to this really good place in the troll kingdom that im sure youd love! :D
ROSE: That sounds interesting, why don’t we go there?
JADE: lets do it!

Without any other words, the two flew into the air towards the Troll Kingdom.

Chapter Text

Jade flew through the air gracefully like an angel towards Heaven; her hair flowed behind her almost like the wings of a butterfly. Her tail flipped back and forth, anxiously trying to process the thoughts and emotions that settled within her.

ROSE: Is everything okay, Jade?

Rose looked at her with a warm smile. Jade broke from her thoughts and looked at her before giving a goofy smile.

JADE: y-yeah!
JADE: i mean no
JADE: but yeah im fine in a literal way i guess
JADE: its just that this is all… a lot
ROSE: I understand. I’m sure that the circumstances are impacting you a lot more than others, including myself.
ROSE: John is your brother after all.
JADE: not just that but…
JADE: idk theres so much to think about with this
JADE: all these dreams ive had
JADE: johns choices being so out of nowhere while being unsurprising…
JADE: then theres the stuff with how he so easily brushed everything off as nothing
JADE: he doesnt feel like the same john i called yesterday morning

Jade stopped in mid air and looked down at the open land below her. That call before he met with Roxy and Calliope had stuck out to her. Why did it feel different?

ROSE: John’s decisions and behaviors are almost always at the whim of whoever he’s talking to.
ROSE: You know this, Jade.
ROSE: Is it not plausible that someone has the capacity to assert so much control over their own destiny while also being controlled by someone else?
JADE: i guess so
JADE: wait
JADE: are you saying that vriska is the one controlling john?
ROSE: Why not?
ROSE: Her presence is dominating in a way that someone like John would fold immediately to her wishes. Though, control isn’t a binary thing. One doesn’t have to just be controlling or controlled.
ROSE: He is just as much leaning into the situation as he is being coerced by Vriska to be in the arrangement.
JADE: but then what does this have to do about the canon stuff you were talking about
ROSE: That’s another element.
ROSE: A piece of this complex puzzle that is the choices one makes. John is simultaneously complicated, and yet extremely simplistic.
ROSE: His binary outlook on life asserts that only one outcome or another can occur. Thus, by making his choice to be with Vriska, he believes that relinquishing his control was one of two options.
ROSE: He went through a series of mental justifications to reach that decision, however they all boiled down to a single choice.
JADE: so when he decided to be with vriska…
JADE: he decided that destiny and fate were useless things
JADE: he relinquished all control in all aspects
ROSE: Precisely.
ROSE: Because that’s how he views canon. There are several ways a decision can go, but he believed that there were only two outcomes.
JADE: he can be kinda boneheaded sometimes haha
ROSE: Indeed.

Rose reached out her hand to Jade.

ROSE: Now, why don’t we move along? I’m sure you’d rather eat something than continue to discuss this on an empty stomach.

Jade nodded.

JADE: mhm!

Jade grabbed her hand and felt the warmth in her friend’s soft hand. She felt as if there was a spark of electricity running through her arm; she could imagine a circuit completing when their hands touched, making her entire body heat up. Their connection was almost like magnets binding themselves together.

In this entire endeavor, Rose was seemingly the only one who fully understood her. Every time she had a thought or comment, Rose was there to validate it and explain it to her with ease. There was something comforting in having at least one person in the world who saw the real her.

With their connection, the two flew into the open air, slowly approaching their destination with each passing minute. Their unified flight had seemingly increased their speed towards the location; though, the growing hunger between the two had also contributed to their haste.

Eventually, the two landed, hands still firmly clasped together, in the middle of the Troll Kingdom. The city around them was bustling with cars that zipped past at speeds that threatened the safety of even the immortal beings of the planet.

The more things change, the more they stay the same, one could say.

Jade led Rose along by the hand through the streets as they passed several trolls of different shapes and sizes. In one way or another, Jade could recognize different small features of her friends in them, but at the same time, there were distinctions that appeared to be pure coincidences. It was like a fun game to her to see the aspects of trolls and how they differed from humans. They were similar in many ways, but the differences were what intrigued her the most.

Before she could get too in depth as she usually would, she stopped in front of a little shop with a set of tables and chairs outside, covered by a large cerulean awning.

JADE: this is the place!
JADE: believe it or not trolls actually make AMAZING pasta
ROSE: Pasta, hm?
ROSE: I’ll be the judge of the quality.
JADE: since when were you a pasta connoisseur lol
ROSE: A woman needs to feed herself when her mother won’t. Let’s just say I had plenty of time to master my craft at a young age.
JADE: oh huh
JADE: well im sure youll like it! :D
ROSE: I’m sure I will.

The two entered the building, activating a bell that hung upon the door, creating a ring that caught the attention of a troll who lazily leaned upon their hosting booth. They looked up with pure boredom in their eyes; they saw the two human women and analyzed their attire.

It was rare for humans to come to the Troll Kingdom, let alone a small restaurant in the middle of the city. Their thoughts had suddenly ceased when realization crashed through their head.

???: Goooood aaaaafternoon!
???: Whaaaaat briiiiings gooooods liiiiike yooooou tooooo aaaaa plaaaaace liiiiike thiiiiis?

Jade and Rose looked at each other before looking back at the host.

JADE: i come here all the time!
JADE: we actually wanted a table for two!
???: W-Weeeeell cooooome riiiiiight thiiiiis waaaaay!

The host stretched their hand to their left and guided the women to a booth near the back of the restaurant. Despite its size, the place lacked attendance. Different booths contained one or two trolls, but many were left completely unfilled.

Jade frowned at the display, saddened by the state of the place she loved so much. Many years ago, she would see the place filled to bursting with different kinds of people. Relatively speaking, it was a ghost town compared to the beautiful past it once held.

The host set down their menus and gestured to the seats.

???: Maaaaake yooooourselves cooooomfortable. IIIII’ll beeeee baaaaack iiiiin aaaaa feeeeew miiiiinutes to staaaaart yooooou with sooooome driiiiinks.
JADE: thank you! :D
ROSE: Thank you.

Jade and Rose sat parallel, looking at one another. There was something special about the two of them having a nice lunch. To Jade, it felt amazing to share a meal with someone again. Dave and Karkat tended to stay at home and eat cheap ready-to-eat foods on their own; she’d proposed getting them to eat out with her, but they were immovable in that aspect of their lives. Picnics were a nice substitute, though they didn’t quite fill the niche that was a meal prepared at a restaurant.

ROSE: Since we’re in a much more comfortable position, I’m curious if you had any notable dreams last night?

Jade looked at her, surprised. She was strangely confused by Rose’s comment.

JADE: oh uh
JADE: yeah actually!
JADE: i didnt expect you to ask
ROSE: Do you not recall our talk last night?
ROSE: I figured you would have another similar dream to the one you’ve had the past several weeks. Am I wrong to assume that the trend wouldn’t continue?
JADE: no…
JADE: actually i dont know why i was confused
JADE: that makes perfect sense sorry
ROSE: It’s okay. There has been much to unpack. I don’t blame you for forgetting what was likely a throwaway detail to you in our prior talk.
JADE: it wasnt a throwaway! i was just tired :(
JADE: anyways right yeah the dream

Jade adjusted herself in her seat and tried to think about how best to explain to Rose her dream. There were some details she wished to leave out, though maybe they were essential in the understanding of it. The struggle between full honesty and dodging extreme embarrassment rattled her mind while Rose patiently awaited her response.

JADE: this is gonna be kind of embarrassing so bare with me here
ROSE: I’m not here to judge, don’t worry.
JADE: ok
JADE: this is sort of a recent occurrence since i had a similar dream yesterday as well
JADE: i was having the same black hole dream as i normally have
JADE: but instead of seeing the world destroyed i…

Jade paused, beginning to second guess her explanation. In her brief moment, she felt a vibration from her pocket. She felt it best to ignore it.

JADE: i came to this weird land
JADE: it looked kinda like the stuff wed see on the old earth
JADE: or at least from what i saw in pictures
ROSE: Interesting.
JADE: and i see these robot animals
JADE: they dont really feel like they belong but i also dont really know why they could even be there
JADE: anyways this building opens up in front of us and i see someone in the back of the room…

Her face grew a large blush; she quickly crossed her arms over her body and tried to keep herself calm before she could explain. Something about imagining the dream again made her very aroused. As much as she didn’t want to admit to her somewhat perverted fantasy, she trusted that her friend would be able to handle the information respectfully.

Another series of notifications rang from her pocket, practically begging to be read; however, it was best that she didn’t read them. They weren’t worth her time.

JADE: there was this girl…
JADE: no
JADE: it wasnt just a girl
JADE: it was

Her blush grew stronger, barely able to contain the emotions she felt. Her embarrassment of the idea made her struggle to put things into words. Her friend would understand. She felt mentally blocked from sharing her experience because admitting to those emotions would also be sharing much personal information about herself.

More notifications pestered her. They practically begged her to speak her truth instead of viewing them.

JADE: me…
ROSE: Oh?
JADE: …
ROSE: What’s wrong?
JADE: sorry…

Jade began to cry.

JADE: hahaha

And then laugh.

JADE: hahaha
JADE: this is so ridiculous isnt it
JADE: i had a dream about meeting myself
JADE: its probably really stupid
ROSE: I don’t think it is. A mirror image of yourself is a form of reflection. If anything, I see this dream as somewhat healthy.
JADE: haha yeah i havent shared the whole dream lol
ROSE: I figured. Please, go on. I would love to know what happens next.
JADE: ok
JADE: in the first dream we were just hugging right
JADE: probably makes a lot of sense
JADE: anyways in the second one we…
JADE: we…

She trailed off again, leaving with her a smile that was burdened with mixed emotions. Happiness, embarrassment, arousal, frustration, excitement, and melancholy could all be used to describe the feelings represented on her mouth. When her lips opened to continue her story, all she could do was let the words flow.

JADE: we made out
JADE: we were kissing each other what felt like hours…
JADE: i-i dont know why but i was so attached to her that i couldnt help myself
JADE: she was just so-
JADE: i was just so-
JADE: fuck!
JADE: rose is it weird to want to fuck yourself????

Jade’s voice echoed through their corner of the restaurant. Her body tensed up as she realized how much her voice had raised. Thankfully, no one had noticed her loud comment—so she could rest easier knowing no one had heard such a revealing admission.

ROSE: Not at all.
JADE: what????
JADE: what does that mean???
JADE: how is it not weird?
ROSE: It just isn’t. I feel like this is a fairly understandable emotion to have.
JADE: is it?????
ROSE: Would you like me to elaborate?
JADE: YES PLEASE!

Rose closed her eyes for a moment and smiled. Upon opening them, she took a breath and began to speak.

ROSE: I don’t find it strange to view yourself as a desirable partner. While we all harbor some form of self-hatred, there is an equal desire to find someone who understands you in ways others simply cannot.
ROSE: Who better to know your exact pleasures and desires than yourself?
ROSE: When you look into a literal mirror you are seeing a reflection of your own mental image beamed onto the surface through your eyes. You are projecting that self-hatred onto a mannequin on the other side of the glass.
ROSE: However, when meeting your physical self, you view yourself less as a reflection and more like another person. Instead of projecting your negative attributes, you are seeing yourself how others see you.
ROSE: As such, the positive aspects of yourself that people see become significantly more clear.
ROSE: You want to fuck yourself because you are the one who can satisfy yourself the most.
ROSE: I don’t find that strange at all. In fact, I think that deep in everyone there is a desire to be with one’s self.

Jade blinked at Rose, seemingly shocked at her explanation.

JADE: rose
ROSE: Yes, Jade?
JADE: do you want to fuck yourself?
ROSE:
ROSE: I have Kanaya. I don’t have to worry about such things. I have all the validation and sexual pleasure I could possibly ask for from my wife.
JADE: that doesnt answer my question

She climbed over the table and brought her face mere inches from Rose’s.

JADE: do you want to have sex with yourself?
ROSE: No.

Jade quickly sat backwards and began snickering.

JADE: omg roseee
JADE: you want to fuck yourself!!!
JADE: thats so cuuuuute!
ROSE: I said no such thing! You’re just extrapolating information from a single word.
JADE: you dont have to hide it rose!
JADE: i already told you my dream so its only fair you admit it too!
ROSE: Jade, we’re in public, I’d rather not talk about my own sexual desires.
JADE: oh? but talking about mine is fair game?
ROSE: I wasn’t expecting your dream to be about wanting to have sex with yourself, Jade.
ROSE: Is that not a reasonable assumption to have?
JADE: whatever
JADE: i still think its cute you want to fuck yourself
JADE: kinda makes me feel less bad about it

Rose let out a long sigh.

ROSE: Well, I’m glad you feel validated then.
JADE: hehe thanks ;)
ROSE: Please stop winking.
JADE: ok :(

Jade cleared her throat and looked around the restaurant, as her eyes wandered she thought about Rose’s words. Something about validating her dream made her feel… comfortable. The anxiety and stress of revealing her mirrored self sexual fantasies had worn off – but the warmth that had filled her body didn’t wear off.

Something else was generating such a warmth. She couldn’t quite put her finger on what, but all that mattered was that she felt comfortable, happy even.

Her eyes eventually fell back on Rose, who continued to look at her with warm patience.

JADE: soooo
JADE: what do you think this dream means?
JADE: or how it relates to the black hole dream?
ROSE: Hmm…
ROSE: That’s something I would have to take some time to think about. Both of these dreams feel connected in some way, though the relation is tough to quantify right now. I wonder if the way they interlink will become clearer soon.
JADE: why are you so confident that there will be another one?
ROSE: You said that you’ve been having these dreams nightly for quite some time. As stated prior, I believe that the trend will continue.
ROSE: And the transformation of these dreams seem somewhat correlated with current events.
JADE: thats true…
JADE: i guess well see which dream i have tonight huh?
ROSE: I’m guessing you’ll want one of these dreams more than the other.
JADE: hehe how did you know?
ROSE: I’m a seer, Jade, let’s just say I know a thing or two. ;)
???: Thaaaaank yooooou fooooor yooooou’re paaaaatience, caaaaan IIIII staaaaart yooooou twooooo wiiiiith aaaaanything tooooo driiiiink?

The women were taken out of their conversation by the host, who now held a notepad and pen in their hand.

JADE: water and 7up please!
sollux: Fooooor yooooou, Ms. Seeeeer?
ROSE: Pepis, please. No ice if possible. A glass of water as well.
???: Twooooo waaaaaters, ooooone 7uuuuup, aaaaand ooooone Peeeeepis. IIIII’ll beeeee baaaaack wiiiiith theeeeem sooooon!
JADE: thank you!!!
ROSE: Thank you.

Without fanfare, the host hastily walked away and through a swinging door. To the surprise of both of the women, the service was quite slow given the lack of attendance. One could argue that perhaps an outside force had prevented interruption for such a sensitive conversation.

In their brief moment of pause, Jade checked her phone to see several unread notifications from someone who is completely unimportant.

TT: Jade.
TT: I need you to listen to me.
TT: Shit’s about to get really fucking bad if you don’t hear me out here.
TT: I need you to stay away from Rose.
TT: I know what she’s up to, but I can’t tell you because of bullshit rules. So, you’re gonna have to trust me on this one, okay?
TT: Remember our talk: the war can’t be started.
TT: Shit, she’s with you, isn’t she.
TT: Okay.
TT: Just make sure to message me when you’re free, it’s about Terezi.
TT: Talk to you later.

After reading the nonsense on her phone, Jade promptly set it face down on the cushion and forgot it completely. He was probably overreacting anyways—Rose was helping her work through a lot of trauma! If anyone could be trusted, it was her.

Jade looked back at Rose who was also checking her phone. She noticed a glint in her eyes that she hadn’t previously. She could only assume that she was talking to her beloved wife, Kanaya.

There was a passion between the two of them that was purely unmatched. It was as if from the moment they’d exchanged words, they were saying their wedding vows. They were inseparable, regardless of circumstances. While they may not have been in the same physical space all the time, spiritually, they were connected through the rings on their fingers.

Jade looked at her intently.

What was Dirk even talking about?

She thought about how there was no way one could raise any alarm about Rose. It just didn’t make sense to her.

JADE: howve you been recovering since being relieved of your condition?
ROSE: My condition-
ROSE: Oh yes, right.
ROSE: I’ve been feeling significantly better. It feels like with each passing hour, the pains of it all are melting away to create a much stronger and more fortified me.
JADE: like a butterfly!
ROSE: Precisely.
ROSE: I’ve reached a metamorphosis where I can exist without months of pain and strife weighing me down. It’s freeing, really.
JADE: im glad! :D
JADE: you seem a lot more energetic than usual too!
ROSE: Have I? I guess I haven’t noticed.
JADE: honestly its always felt like you were faking a lot of your confidence
JADE: but right now it sounds like youre truly speaking from the heart
JADE: and thats great to see!
ROSE: Well, how kind of you to notice. I appreciate the nice words.

Rose’s eyes glowed with happiness as the compliment of her friend sank deep into her heart. It was atypical of her to feel so empowered by such kind words—but coming from Jade, they brought her mood up several fold.

Before they could continue their conversation, the bell at the front door rang. Despite them being in the building for quite some time, not one other person had entered. As such, the bell signaled something important, something that echoed within Jade’s mind.

For some reason, her mind drifted to the knocking at John’s front door. The headache inducing throbs rang in her ears; it was almost like she could feel the drums of reality beat on.

Thump thump thump.

Was it the beat of reality? Or was it the beat of her heart?

Thump thump thump. Thump thump thump.

Yes, those were the sounds that permeated through Jade’s mind in that moment—the moment Jade knew Terezi was behind the door. It was the precise moment she knew Vriska wasn’t in the building.

The ringing of the bell signaled in her mind that there was another box to be opened. Whoever entered the building was someone she had to know. Obviously, if she peeked her head around the corner, then she would know instantly, but what is the fun in immediate knowledge? Where is the satisfaction in being spoonfed information like a weak infant?

No, instead she would figure it out on her own, independent of her sight.

Before another train of thought could enter her head, the knowledge of who came in was plainly obvious. Who else could possibly be coming in? The question became: why such a strange coincidence? How could such a contrived happenstance occur mere hours after an event that involved her?

These questions can easily be answered by accepting the result and watching the events play out. After all, she’d made the circumstances by which this event would take place. Her own choices shaped reality, canon into what it was in that moment.

All she needed to do… was open the box.

From around the corner came an unforgettable figure; her black collared jacket draped across her shoulders, resting over the top of a black shirt that proudly presented her logo: the Scorpio. Her blue jeans on her legs looked a bit worse for wear, yet she wore them confidently as if there were no blemishes at all. Her bright red and white shoes glowed in the distance as she casually glided across the floor of the restaurant.

However, a detail on her face proved interesting. An eyepatch covered her left eye, blocking out her vision eightfold. Something about her origins on the battlefield against Lord English must have left a souvenir for her to carry for the rest of her days.

Despite all that, there was another box that had opened—one that had been open the whole time, but the contents had been obfuscated to anyone who tried to look at them. Of course, to anyone with logical deduction, the truth had been obvious the whole time. One may ask: why go through all this effort to hide it if the result itself was easy to deduce?

You see, the canon by which these results lie is not decided until the moment the contents of the box are revealed. In that aspect, the truth isn’t the truth to those who are living in it until the facts are presented to them.

In the case of Jade, she was the first one to look at the contents of it. Her worries that had once fueled her anger and vitriol were suddenly being erased bit by bit as reality set in. Trust is a powerful thing that can easily be taken away, and for some, it could be taken away too soon.

Vriska walked down the aisle, her form much more striking than before. The contours of her face, the form of her body, and even her height had dramatically changed. This was not the body of a teenager that everyone had remembered Vriska with – it was instead a brand new mature form that all but confirmed to everyone in the room that she was, indeed, an adult.

Immediately, Jade understood John’s difficulty to convey his words. It truly was unbelievable that someone like Vriska would come back to Earth C in such a way. The mindbending nature of the affair would be difficult for anyone to describe to those without physical proof.

A blush ran across her face. Yes, she was enamored with the new Vriska. It was no wonder John couldn’t say no to her. His fate was sealed the moment he decided to come back with her.

Vriska eventually looked at Jade and Rose, who themselves were staring back.

VRISKA: Well, look who it is.
ROSE: Good afternoon, Vriska.
JADE:
ROSE: How nice of you to meet us here.
VRISKA: This place just felt right. This whole fucking planet is 8ooooooooing!
VRISKA: It’s actually nice to see some familiar faces around here that don’t feel so f8ke.
JADE: what do you mean fake???
VRISKA: Come on.
VRISKA: You can feel it right? This whole place is so useless. Every part of this world only exists for everyone to do nothing with their lives.
VRISKA: Tell me, Jade, what have you done with the last seven years of your life?
JADE: uh
VRISKA: Exactly.
VRISKA: I got ro88ed of seeing you guys kick Lord English’s ass, and now I’m forced to suffer on this dead-end planet!!!!!!!!
ROSE: Take a seat, Vriska. I figure standing won’t do you any good.

Vriska rolled her remaining eye and sat down next to Jade, who now had a visible blush on her face.

ROSE: Now I don’t think you’re giving Earth C a fair chance, Vriska. After all, you’ve only spent one day here.
VRISKA: Rose, I don’t think I can descri8e to you how misera8le the last day has 8een. John m8de me go to this shitty restaurant with all these weird fuckers in suits. And even he was uncomforta8le!
JADE: im sorry john gave you kind of a bad night :(
JADE: i promise theres tons of exciting things to do here!
JADE: i know a few clubs actually that im sure youd enjoy!
VRISKA: Okay, well I’m not going to say the night was all 8ad…

Vriska’s cheeks grew a blue blush.

VRISKA: 8ut that was in spite of all the terri8le shit!!!!!!!!
VRISKA: The point is, I don’t want to 8e here.
VRISKA: I’d rather em8race the death I actually expected to face instead of this harmless purgatory that’ll 8ore me to death.
ROSE: That’s a grim way of viewing it.
ROSE: There are pleasantries that someone like you could enjoy, I’m sure.

Rose’s mouth formed a smirk.

ROSE: Especially given that Terezi is back.

Vriska’s heart sank. Hearing the name Terezi had set off what felt like eight million fireworks from inside. In the thick of everything, she’d assumed her and Terezi would never speak again. She believed that the moment she went to fight Lord English, there would be no more communication. They would be doomed to never speak again.

That reality didn’t come to pass, of course. There now remained a chance for her to reconnect and fulfill her promise. She could only hope she didn’t keep Terezi for too long.

Immediately, Vriska stood up and left the booth. Her face had then hardened to a forced serious expression.

VRISKA: I need to go. Thanks for telling me a8out, Terezi.
VRISKA: If you want to actually show me some interesting shit here, then message me.
VRISKA: 8ut don’t even think a8out doing it today. I’ve got some irons in the fire to tend to.

Before anyone else could get a word in, Vriska stormed out the door, initiating the ring of the bell once again. The chime had practically knocked Jade out of what felt like a trance.

Her eyes met Rose’s.

JADE: rose…
JADE: what the fuck was that…
JADE: that was vriska right?!
ROSE: It was, yes.
JADE: why are you suddenly so calm about this?
JADE: why are you calm at all????

Rose lifted a finger and pressed it against Jade’s lips.

ROSE: It’s okay. I expected this to happen.
JADE: you did?
ROSE: I’m a Seer of Light, remember? The future is something I can see into if I allow myself to. I figured that it was best to see what would happen while we were here just to make sure our wait times weren’t too poor.
ROSE: It appears this place runs at a snail’s pace. I have zero confidence that their pasta skills are up to snuff if they can’t even provide a simple glass of Pepis in a reasonable timeframe.
JADE: im sorry rose :((
ROSE: It’s okay. I’m sure this is an off day for them.
JADE: what are we gonna do about food then?
ROSE: Why not just come with me back to my apartment? I’m sure Kanaya would love to have company for a late lunch or early dinner.

Jade gave a partial smile.

JADE: sure thing!

Her phone vibrated on the cushion next to her. Something about it made her anxious. The will to just grab it felt like it was being taken from her. It was a notification, why not look at it? Well, it’s another box to open, isn’t it? Wouldn’t it be best to simply just know its content’s value without needing to look at it?

Why would one need to open the box if you already know what’s in it?

Unfortunately, Jade decided to look at her phone again, her heart pounding from the stress.

TG: yoooooo jade!!!

Oh.

TG: i know its been a lil bit but i just wanted 2 talk ab somethin
TG: obvi if ur busy we can definitely do it later but
TG: i heard u had a lil intervention w john ab the vriska stuff
TG: theres probs a lot to unpack there and theres more context u should kno ab all that stuff
TG: u can come over whenever or call me idc
TG: lets connect soon!!!!!!

Jade looked at Roxy’s message with relief on her face. She had grown worried that she would be shocked again by another string of false alarms that would continue to spike her heart rate. Perhaps, visiting Roxy would make for a nice relaxing evening away from the stressful proceedings.

Eventually, she looked away from her phone and sighed.

JADE: actually…
JADE: im feeling a little tired
JADE: i think im gonna head home and eat something
JADE: sorry our lunch was a bust rose :(
ROSE: It’s okay, I feel like our talk was more constructive anyways. The meal was more the backdrop by which we could unpack this information.
ROSE: So, I find this lunch a success.
JADE: im glad!

Jade got up from the booth and dusted off her skirt before giving a long stretch.

JADE: it was good seeing you rose!
JADE: ill message you about the next dream i have
JADE: since i know youll want to hear it immediately ;P

Rose rolled her eyes before giving a smile.

ROSE: Sounds good. It was nice spending the afternoon with you, Jade.
ROSE: See you soon.

Jade left the building and immediately began flying in the direction of her house. Despite her thoughts on going to see Roxy, it appeared that she felt it better to rest her body and mind before another outing.

As she floated, she continued to think about the discussions that circled around her. The meaning of canon and how one could formulate the pieces to it looped in her brain. The shock of not just Vriska paying a visit, but the fact that she was indeed an adult wracked her brain.

On a factual level, everything lined up – but on an emotional level the contradictions that formed in her mind couldn’t quite comprehend these facts. She was still early on into understanding the basic fundamentals of canon.

In due time, she would theoretically be able to control canon herself if she allowed herself to; but for now, she still remained within the realm of her peers, floating through life blissfully unaware of the world that is. Though, she was on the cusp of realization. Her dreams, her awareness, and her love would push her into being who she was always meant to be.

When she touched down in front of Dave and Karkat’s house, she no longer thought about what was behind the door—she simply just opened it, knowing precisely what was going to happen.

Oh? You’re still here?

You know, there are many things in this world that one simply knows on impulse. There doesn’t need to be some major discovery to lead to developments on how a human can breathe oxygen. The obvious doesn’t require one to remain subtle at all times.

You, like Jade, are able to intuit what happens entirely within your own mind and shape the box which holds the answer to all your long-standing questions. Of course, if you dared to open the box sooner, you’d have been faced with a similar void that would eclipse the truth from within.

Though, for most, I would assume you could figure it out without a box entirely. That I admire. Now then, why don’t we get a bit more comfortable, shall we?

Chapter Text

I don’t think it should be much of a surprise that I’m the one to narrate this tale. I’m sure one with a keen eye for tone and motivation could tell immediately that it was me; though, those who may have missed it entirely, I’m sincerely sorry that you were unaware.

In this realm, I have the capacity to shape the very nature of narrative and decide what I believe is to happen. I look at all the potential paths forward and pick which one will yield the best results. Think of it like a squid sensing the world around it and using its tentacles to reach out and grasp the future.

Perhaps a former explanation could hold true. After all, the hairs on fabric stick in random ways, yet one can control those strands to form a straight line towards a desirable goal. Of course, that one is me.

That being said, I’m sure the question that lingers in your mind the most is the how and the why for my narrative control. After all, it was made explicitly clear that my condition showing me every future imaginable, had faded, leaving me in a state of calm that only one who lacks awareness could achieve.

What you may not have understood is that I’m a greater thespian than many of my friends give me credit for. The ability to shape my character around my scenarios to provide the best outcome is almost innate to my being—though, this fact shouldn’t shock someone who’s been paying attention this whole time.

I, in fact, assimilated with all the infinite Roses and timelines the moment John took a bite of his pie. You are very much aware of the alternative outcomes that could have occurred in that moment, but what you didn’t realize was that the two sided coin by which this allegedly two sided narrative existed outside the bounds of such a binary choice.

Recall Schrodinger’s Box? The choice that John made in that moment wasn’t purely one binary selection of food to eat, but of infinite possible spanning choices in outcomes some may never see. In this case, a certain Witch of Space altered the circumstances by calling her brother, which led to a universe where I have gained full control of my abilities. Though, I’m sure if you read my words carefully, you’d have come to this conclusion by now.

That’s the lesson here, isn’t it? That if you lack the ability to look deeper, find intention and subtext of one’s words, then you fall victim to blunders and deception a more observant viewer would dodge with ease. That isn’t to say that those who fall for the ploys of a mastermind are lacking in intelligence in any way.

I do not believe that Jade is a fool—in fact I believe she is one of the smartest people on this planet. However, she is one who has fallen victim to the influences that I have placed upon this narrative. She may not always listen, but she only escapes my grasp when she asserts her own control. The rest of the time, unfortunately, she follows the thoughts and feelings that I implant into her mind.

If she differentiated the voices in her head, then I’m sure she would be able to acknowledge my existence fairly easily, though she is a victim of her own thoughts. The good and the bad mix together in a way that forms a self loathing and extreme desire that makes someone adept at replicating such a pattern easily able to control her.

I’ll leave myself brief on this matter at this moment since I believe the point has been made. Why don’t we go on a journey, just you and I, while we let Jade explore her thoughts and feelings. We can return to her later.

I returned to my apartment, landing just at the base floor of the building (I’m not an animal, I don’t simply just land on my balcony as an entrance). I observed the wonderful shrubbery that surrounded the building, appreciating the choice of landscaping that framed our abode. Deciding it better to speed things along, I opened the crystal glass door inside.

After walking through the liminal hallways and up the stairs, I found myself in front of my apartment door: Unit 1204.

When I inserted the keys into the door, I felt a presence from the other side. The time was 5:34pm. Of course, a certain someone would be home for me. I turned the handle and opened the door to my apartment, lit by the ceiling light hanging above the living room, with further lights beaming from the kitchen.

Sizzling sounds echoed from the kitchen, additionally sending the smell of beef into my nostrils. Ah yes, the rawness of meat; even when cooked, one can still feel the juices of excitement crackle and pop across the pan of narrative. That is, of course, if one were to indulge in such a delicacy.

What my senses actually detected was the sound of a homemade pot pie cooking in the oven; the smell of its contents hitting me with a sense of comfort only provided by a special person in my life.

KANAYA: Welcome Home

My wife’s voice spoke from around the corner when I closed the door behind me. As I turned the corner, I could finally see her in full form.

My beautiful wife, standing between the hall and the kitchen, still wearing a fashionable dress of which she worked in. The sparkles glimmered on the surface of the red fabric while a black belt wrapped around her waist, meeting with a Virgo buckle.

She stood tall before me with her wonderful form, filling her dress perfectly as tailored. Upon her face was a soft smile that I knew would grow as I approached further, but even that small elevation of her mouth set me apart from others who typically were given neutrality.

ROSE: Thank you. I hope work treated you well today.
KANAYA: Things Are Progressing Slowly But Surely
KANAYA: Impatience Hasnt Quite Taken Over Me But Im Fairly Certain The Mother Grub Will Be Producing In Due Time
ROSE: This has taken quite a long time, hasn’t it? You would think that it wouldn’t be so apprehensive to produce after so long of dormancy.
KANAYA: That Is The Issue At Hand
KANAYA: The Growth Of A Mother Grub Isnt Supposed To Be Rapid
KANAYA: When One Is Ready To Retire There Is Always Another One Who Is Fully Grown To Take Its Place
KANAYA: I Cannot Think Of A Time Prior In Troll Society Where Weve Had A Lull In Troll Reproduction Due To An Immature Mother Grub

I approached my wife and wrapped my arms around her, giving her a full and loving embrace. She returned the favor.

ROSE: Regardless of the difficult conditions, you’re still doing a wonderful job, Kanaya. The fruits of your labor will surely be in your hands soon enough.
KANAYA: I Think So Too

We looked up at one another, staring into each other’s eyes. Our smiles grew as our faces got closer and closer. We eventually locked lips, feeling the warmth of the other’s mouth soothe the soreness that came from our difficult days.

Her soft, green lips pressed up against mine; our liners mixing on our mouths, imprinting our styles onto the other. Her fangs lightly poked my lips, begging for her to press down and taste running blood from my lips.

After some time, we parted and stared into each other’s eyes once again.

KANAYA: Im Glad Youre Feeling Better
KANAYA: I Worried That Your Condition Was Going To Torment You Forever
ROSE: I was too, but I believe I have a handle on everything now. All the visions have subsided, and I no longer need the drugs Dirk provided to help in maintaining them. I feel more… complete now. It’s almost like losing my mind had made me appreciate what it felt to be normal again.
KANAYA: Well It Delights Me That The Experience Has Actually Improved Things Rather Than Left You Weakened
KANAYA: Ive Heard That Dirk Has Recently Been Suffering From A Similar Crisis
ROSE: Oh?
KANAYA: Though The Way Roxy Had Described It Made It Appear More Like He Was Freaking The Fuck Out Rather Than Being Under Your Exact Condition
KANAYA: Similar Words Were Used To Describe His Circumstances
ROSE: Interesting.
ROSE: I suppose he can hide his problems from me after giving full transparency prior. I’ll message him about it later. But for now…

I smiled at Kanaya, filled with a mixture of emotions one could easily parse given my feelings towards her. She smiled back before leaning her head to the side, moving towards my face; however, her aim had slowly changed course and focused in on my neck, pulling my hair behind my ear.

Kanaya tilted her head to the left and pressed her lips against my neck, allowing her jade green lipstick to imprint on my skin. She kissed the surface a few times, pressing harder and harder each time until-

ROSE: Oooooooh…
ROSE: Kanaya…

Blood streamed down my neck and onto my shirt. Pain pulsated in my neck and through my body, tensing every nerve up, practically freezing me in place. I felt her fangs slowly slip from my neck, her tongue licking the streams of blood coming from the point of contact.

Eventually, she lifted her head, licking her red-stained lips with a smile. Filled with ecstasy, I looked at her with a giddy smile, removing my personal composure, just for her. Our eyes locked as we thought about our love and how much each and every moment together meant more than anything prior. It was entirely unbreakable.

In the middle of our stare, my body convulsed in pain from her bite. Kanaya quickly ran to the kitchen to grab a towel while I stood, putting my left hand to the surface, trying to relieve the strain.

Despite how many times we’d gone through this process, my body was simply never ready for the piercing of her beautiful fangs within my soft skin. It was a blessing in disguise, really. The experience almost always felt fresh.

Kanaya returned to the room and pressed the towel onto my wound. She looked at me, blood still on her lips. I wrapped my arms around her and smiled, feeling slightly light headed.

ROSE: Kanaya…
KANAYA: Rose…

Our lips pressed again, exploding into a wave of passion as we made out. Between extended kisses, we would silently look each other in the eyes with a smile. This process continued for several minutes until a ring came from the kitchen.

We looked in the direction of the sound and back at each other.

ROSE: It appears we’ll have to cut this short.
KANAYA: Unfortunately Yes

We walked into the kitchen where she opened the oven to reveal a beautiful pot pie—steam radiated from the surface, showing its freshness. In my opinion, nothing beats a home cooked meal made by one’s spouse. It’s better than the artificial, easy to reach alchemized food that many consumed. This was real.

Kanaya set the pie upon the stovetop and let out a deep breath. She licked her lips, cleaning the remaining blood off her mouth.

KANAYA: Im Unsure What Compelled Me To Make A Pie For Dinner
KANAYA: The Thought Crossed My Mind The Moment I Came Home
KANAYA: It Reminds Me Of The Influences We Were Under While Playing The Game
KANAYA: Though I Feel This Might Be Traumatic Association And Not A Legitimate Worry

I paused for a moment, staring at my wife. Thoughts raced through my mind as I tried to properly formulate an explanation that would be serviceable.

ROSE: That is strange.
ROSE: Would it surprise you to say that I’ve been feeling a similar way?
KANAYA: It Would Not Surprise Me Though I Do Find The Prospect Intriguing
ROSE: I’ve had thoughts recently that have not aligned with my own. It’s almost as if someone is implanting them within my mind using a recreation of my voice.
ROSE: I feel compelled to act in certain ways based on the whispers of an unknown entity.
KANAYA: Hm
ROSE: I suppose that it is related to my condition. We are all maturing to our prime states of being before we calcify at that physical age for eternity. Whether we reject the call to that maturity is our choice.
ROSE: That is to say, perhaps we are being compelled by our inner selves to become perfect.
KANAYA: Such Is The Nature Of Being A God
ROSE: Precisely.
KANAYA: Then How Does That Explain My Current State Of Affairs?

I placed a thumb upon my lips and pretended to think, acting as if the answer wasn’t obvious.

ROSE: Regardless of God Tier status, I believe that maturity and reaching our potential are fundamental parts of our being as former players. You are doing what is considered best for pushing you down the best path.
ROSE: You’re a Sylph of Space and thus reality itself desires for you to ensure the safety of it. Seemingly innocuous decisions come together to form a series of circumstances that allow for the best outcomes.
ROSE: The voice speaking in your head is telling you what the best course of action is to maintain balance.
ROSE: That’s my theory anyways.
KANAYA: It Seems Oddly Like It Pairs Well With The Objectives Of A Seer Of Light
ROSE: I don’t think it’s that odd.
ROSE: In fact

I smiled at her.

ROSE: I believe it’s why we are so perfect for one another.

She looked at me with overwhelming happiness, practically swooning over my comment. After all, I know precisely how to satisfy her.

KANAYA: Oh Rose…
ROSE: Oh Kanaya…

As the pie cooled next to us, we embraced again, going for another kiss. I knew that dinner would be quite delayed at this rate, but that wasn’t an issue because I valued the love of my life more than material necessities like food.

Of course, this love would develop over the course of the minutes and result in a display of fervor that I’m sure one would love to read about. I know you would at the very least.

The sexual activities between my wife and I are purely off limits. Our love is beyond that of something one can view. It’s a beauty that no one is worthy enough to see.

That being said, I believe now is a good time to return to see what Jade has gotten herself into. Perhaps, what was behind the door was precisely what she expected.

Jade walked into the living room, seeing Dave and Karkat silently sitting on the opposite sides of the couch. Karkat was playing a video game on the TV, his controller loudly clacking throughout the room with each motion. She could see the intensity of his emotions entirely through his face and the violent inputs upon his controller.

Dave swirled his bottle of apple juice as he seemingly watched Karkat play, though in his other hand, he scrolled on his phone. Jade wasn’t able to see where his eyes were focused, but a part of her knew that his eyes were glancing back and forth between the two focuses.

When the door clicked shut, neither acknowledged her return. The two were too lost in their own thoughts to properly notice someone coming inside. One could wonder if a burglar came in to ransack their home if they’d even notice.

JADE: im home!

Jade spoke out, hoping for her roommates to respond. However, there was not a word.

With a frown, she walked behind the couch and towards the kitchen. As she passed, she noticed Dave’s eyes jump to her face for a moment before returning to the television. His forced silence screamed a series of complex emotions Jade hadn’t really seen from her friend.

He was one to usually hide his emotions, though even in spite of that, his stress and worries were painted plainly. In this instance—however—Dave wasn’t just worried or stressed, but actively showing a range of emotions one thought impossible.

It’s said that one can see someone’s true thoughts through their eyes, and though I tend to reject that notion as a reason for extracting false meaning from individuals, Dave’s insistence on hiding the place where his thoughts speak the loudest makes one question the very nature of his being.

Jade entered the kitchen and paused at the entrance; her body began to sweat, feeling a sensation rise up her body and then throb inside her head. She stared at the refrigerator, its door handle beckoning her.

The longer she stared the more the pressure built. Something about it drew her attention more and more until everything in her head went silent.

Ring!

The ring of a bell echoed within her mind.

The world went black around her, leaving just her and the refrigerator to stand off in a void, ready for a confrontation with destiny. Jade tried to urge her hand to reach out and open the door – but the muscles failed when she tried to send the sensations.

Desire was outmatched by the paralysis that plagued her nerves. She put every last bit of her will power into just moving a single muscle—and yet—nothing.

Ring!

She grit her teeth and squinted her eyes, feeling her headache evolve into a migraine that pounded within her head. Her stomach growled, sending further sensations of pain through her body, aggressively urging her towards the thing she knew was required.

In her mind, she was standing in John’s house, hearing the knocking at the door, and then she was sitting in a restaurant, hearing the entry bell chime. All she needed to do was…

Open the box.

JADE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jade let out an ear piercing scream that shook the house with a massive tremor. She placed her hands on the sides of her head and continued to let out shrieks of pain as tears cascaded down her face like a waterfall.

She seemingly wasn’t ready yet. Perfectly okay. With due time she’ll get there, I believe in her after all.

Within an instant, Dave and Karkat ran into the kitchen, viewing their friend on the floor, screaming in agony.

DAVE: holy shit jade are you ok?

Karkat smacked him.

KARKAT: STRIDER I DON’T THINK YOU NEED TO ASK THAT FUCKING QUESTION.
KARKAT: SHE’S CLEARLY IN PAIN YOU UNEMPATHETIC MORON.

Dave rolled his eyes and kneeled down next to Jade, who continued to sob on the ground.

DAVE: jade…
DAVE: whats wrong?
JADE: sob

Jade’s stomach groaned, audibly making her hunger known to everyone with ears to hear it.

DAVE: shit
DAVE: karkat help me get her to the couch
DAVE: im gonna get her something to eat

Without any further comment, Karkat gave a serious expression and nodded. With all their strength, they carried the still weeping Jade into the living room and sat her on the couch, where her body shook, barely able to keep itself stable. After setting her down, Dave ran back to the kitchen to find her some food.

Meanwhile, Karkat sat next to her with his arm around her, awkwardly trying to find the best words to say.

KARKAT: JADE…
KARKAT: I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S WRONG BUT.
KARKAT: DAVE’S GETTING YOU FOOD.
KARKAT: THAT’LL AT LEAST MAKE YOU FEEL A BIT BETTER.
KARKAT: OKAY?

Jade gave a small nod, showing that she could still hear the voices of her roommates.

KARKAT: IT’S BEEN A LONG AS FUCK DAY.
KARKAT: DON’T FEEL BAD FOR THIS.
KARKAT: I ALREADY HAD MY SCREAMING SESSION EARLIER, SO YOU’RE JUST GOING THROUGH THE SAME SHIT AS ME.
KARKAT: …
KARKAT: WHICH I GUESS IS NORMAL AT THIS POINT.

Dave returned to the room with a bowl of cup noodles and slowly turned the work in the cup as he walked up to Jade. When he finally got to the couch, he pulled the fork out, containing a hefty chunk of noodles clumped on its prongs, and brought it towards Jade’s mouth.

DAVE: alright
DAVE: open up here comes the fucking airplane

Jade slowly opened her mouth, struggling to keep her jaw stable through her breaths. Unfortunately, there was no patience allotted to her when the fork was suddenly forced into her mouth, filling it with the salty sensations of hot ramen noodles and chicken broth.

As she chewed, her mind calmed and her breathing slowed. Her body filled with warmth as she swallowed, letting her body begin to process the first bit of food she’d eaten all day. She held out her hands and eventually felt the warm cup of noodles in her palms. She grabbed the fork with her left hand and turned it counterclockwise before putting another fork full of noodles in her mouth.

Each bite and subsequent swallow chipped away at the strain within her brain, slowly bringing her back down to Earth.

Jade’s eyes opened to the sight of Dave looking at her with a concerned expression on his face. She felt Karkat’s arm on her right shoulder, which made her look to the left to see Karkat sharing a face.

DAVE: you feelin better?
JADE: mhm…
KARKAT: THAT’S GOOD.
DAVE: do you wanna talk about it?

Jade sat silent, thinking about if it was best to share her experience. She looked at her noodles, seeing the steam still emanating off the surface. Her reflection stared at her, almost nodding at her to give approval.

JADE: yeah…
JADE: its
JADE: its a lot to explain
KARKAT: WELL, LET’S HEAR IT.

She took a deep breath.

JADE: after wrapping things up with john
JADE: rose and i decided to get some lunch and catch up on more dream related stuff cuz shes been helping me with that
JADE: anyways while i was with her i heard this strange voice in my head
JADE: it was telling me to…

Jade paused, unsure if it was right to continue. The outcome of saying such of thing was uncertain. She’d have to choose carefully.

Ring!

JADE: fuck!
DAVE: woah whats up?
JADE: its just…
JADE: its hard to think about its just so…
JADE: so…

Ring!

JADE: nggghhh!
JADE: i keep hearing this fucking ringing in my ear!!!

Oh.

JADE: every time i think of something uncertain suddenly this bell goes off!
JADE: and it keeps reminding me of…
JADE: reminding me of…

Go on.

JADE: vriska…
DAVE: vriska?
KARKAT: VRISKA???
JADE: i just feel so bad cuz she was there
JADE: she was at the restaurant and…

Ring!

JADE: she was…

Ring!

KARKAT: SHE WAS WHAT?

Ring!

DAVE: dont leave us hanging

Ring!

JADE: she was an adult!!!!!
DAVE: ???
KARKAT: ???
KARKAT: THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE. THERE’S NO PHYSICAL WAY THAT’S POSSIBLE, AND I DON’T TRUST EGBERT TO BE TELLING THE TRUTH.
JADE: i-i dont know!
JADE: i just looked at her and she just looked so…

A blush ran across her face.

JADE: yknow…
KARKAT: JADE I SWEAR TO GOG.
KARKAT: DO NOT TELL ME YOU
KARKAT: DON’T FUCKING TELL ME YOU’RE LIKE JOHN.
JADE: im not!
JADE: im serious! she looked like an adult!
JADE: at least thats what my brain told me…

Jade was obviously struggling with explaining herself. Such an impossible conundrum isn’t exactly explainable to a crowd who has a certain idea of what the truth is in their heads. When a party thinks they know something, suddenly the flexibility within their mind calcifies into a set idea. In a way, she could relate to John. Reality wasn’t visible to those lacking eyes to see it.

JADE: its just so hard to explain!
JADE: that whole thing… it felt like a fever dream
JADE: we didnt even eat or drink anything
JADE: we just sat there… and talked…
DAVE: well im not going to immediately call you a liar since i doubt youd actually flip on a dime if you didnt have reason to
DAVE: but why the hell did you think she was an adult?
JADE: she just looked older i dont know???
JADE: it was just something that felt right in my mind
JADE: when i heard her come through the door it felt like if it was going to be her…
JADE: then id rather her be an adult
JADE: and there she was
KARKAT: SO, ARE YOU SAYING YOU MADE HER AN ADULT THEN?
KARKAT: IS THAT WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO SAY?
JADE: i… i dont know
DAVE: that sounds like some crazy witch of space shit
DAVE: and i bet your ass it has to do with that dream
DAVE: you were a literal witch in space
DAVE: i dont think thats a big leap or anything
JADE: yeah… i just dont know how thats possible
JADE: i cant just change immutable facts about someone
KARKAT: YEAH, I’M A LOST ON THIS SHIT TOO. WHY THE HELL WOULD JADE THINKING OF SOMETHING MAKE VRISKA AN ADULT SUDDENLY?
KARKAT: THAT’S NOT HOW REALITY WORKS.
DAVE: listen man i dont know
DAVE: im just spitballing here
DAVE: theres gotta be a reason for this shit
DAVE: and maybe were not the best ones to explain it

He’s correct.

JADE: youre right
JADE: i mean that like theres a reason for all of this
JADE: but i just cant figure out what it is
JADE: maybe its just something i need to…
JADE: dream about

She looked up at the wall, staring into its vast emptiness.

JADE: the last couple nights its felt like each dream has lead to more of these feelings
JADE: maybe if i sleep again ill…
DAVE: youll figure this shit out
JADE: yeah
KARKAT: EXCUSE ME FOR BEING BEHIND ON INFORMATION HERE, BUT HOW THE FUCK DOES SLEEPING AND HAVING THESE DREAMS HELP? WHAT KIND OF INSANE AS DREAMS ARE YOU HAVING?
DAVE: well if you actually took any passing interest to her problems in the last couple days youd know
DAVE: but all youve been doing is bitching and moaning about some worthless shit
KARKAT: OH, SORRY DAVE. FORGIVE ME FOR BEING CONCERNED WITH OTHER SHIT GOING ON. I’D LOVE TO HEAR ALL THE IMPORTANT THINGS YOU’VE BEEN UP TO.
DAVE: dude that doesnt matter
DAVE: this shit all seems related is what im saying
DAVE: i dont think jade having an insane panic attack right now is some one off thing
DAVE: we gotta trust this shit
KARKAT: THANK YOU SO MUCH WHITE KNIGHT STRIDER. PLEASE CONTINUE TO BE THE HEROIC ASSHOLE YOU ALWAYS ARE.
JADE: karkat whats your problem?
JADE: why are you being so defensive?
JADE: besides… daves right!
JADE: all the weird stuff going on feels related to each other and i think we need to look at it as a whole
KARKAT: I
KARKAT: FUCK, YOU TWO HAVEN’T HEARD, HAVE YOU?
DAVE: what
JADE: ???
KARKAT: THERE’S TALKS OF CROCKER HAVING A PRESS CONFERENCE SOON.
KARKAT: A POLITICAL ONE.
KARKAT: PARDON IF I’M MORE CONCERNED ABOUT THE NATURE OF HER SAYING SOMETHING SO SOON AFTER THE MOTHER GRUB IS STARTING TO BEGIN PRODUCTION.
KARKAT: JOHN BEING WITH VRISKA OR OTHER SHIT IS SOMETHING WE CAN HANDLE ON OUR OWN, BUT I’M MORE WORRIED ABOUT IF I’M GOING TO HAVE TO DEAL WITH OTHER BULLSHIT SOON.
JADE: what makes you think its troll related?
KARKAT: I DON’T FUCKING KNOW. MAYBE THE WEIRD HIRING PRACTICES OR THE RECENT CASES OF WORKPLACE DESCRIMINATION.
KARKAT: I’M JUST SAYING IT’S NOT A COINCIDENCE.
DAVE: exactly
DAVE: this is more shit that i think is related
KARKAT: HOW SO?
JADE: cuz my dream has a war between us and jane jake dirk roxy and callie
JADE: idk how it even happens but if you feel like there might be some political tension then…
JADE: that could be related to my dream
KARKAT: HM…
DAVE: thats what im saying theres so many things coming together
DAVE: so unless theres some puppet master lining shit up on purpose to fuck with us weve got some related problems here
KARKAT: I SEE.
KARKAT: THEN I GUESS WE SHOULD MAKE SURE JADE HAS A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP THEN.
KARKAT: IF WE CAN GET AHEAD OF THIS SHIT, I’M ALL IN.
DAVE: i agree
DAVE: lets do this shit

Dave smirked at Jade.

DAVE: alright
DAVE: you ready to get some shut eye?

Jade looked at him with uncertainty. His insistence on suddenly going to sleep with the express purpose of learning more had a good foundation; however, the complexities of such a circumstance were lost on him. One simply doesn’t just have dreams because they sleep. Dreams are a response or calling from a past and/or future to provide explanations to the events from those times.

Desire too is the foundation for a dream’s formation. We don’t simply just dream because we are asleep—we dream because that’s what our brain has developed as a mirror of our subconscious.

He’s not wrong that Jade’s next slumber will contain a relevant dream – but his basis for such a claim is founded under a flawed belief. Such a broken understanding will inevitably lead to his downfall if he isn’t careful. Decisions could be made that would create a bitterness and dissatisfaction that has the potential to ruin his very view of life.

Though, I believe he’s smarter than that. He’ll come to a better sense of logic eventually.

JADE: uh sure!
JADE: i just need to finish eating first lol
JADE: im really hungry :(
KARKAT: GREAT WORK, STRIDER. DOING A LOT OF GREAT WORK TRYING TO HELP YOUR POTENTIAL MATESPRIT.

Dave stared at Karkat, his eyes practically piercing through his sunglasses.

DAVE: freud called he told you to shut the fuck up
KARKAT: MAKE ME.
KARKAT: DO YOU THINK YOU’RE THE ONLY ONE WHO’S ALLOWED TO START SHIT?
DAVE: oh man you thought those jokes earlier were serious
DAVE: good one
KARKAT: YOU KNOW BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE THOSE WERE NOT JOKES. DON’T HIDE BEHIND YOUR SHITTY FUCKING IRONY.
DAVE: im all honesty man
DAVE: no clue what youre talking about
KARKAT: YES, KEEP HIDING YOUR FEELINGS. I’M SURE THIS IS EXTREMELY HELPFUL.

Karkat looked at Jade, laughing a little bit.

KARKAT: HEY JADE.
KARKAT: DID YOU KNOW THAT LAST NIGHT I SAW DAVE SCROLLING THROUGH PICTURES OF YOU IN BED?
JADE: what????
DAVE: that didnt happen
KARKAT: ALL THOSE PICTURES ONLINE ABOUT THE GODDESS PARTYING WITH MORTALS AND HOW YOU WERE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL OF THE GODS.
KARKAT: AND
KARKAT: HE WAS LIKING EVERY. SINGLE. POST.
DAVE: youre fucking lying man
DAVE: this is the fakest shit youve ever said
KARKAT: OH REALLY?
KARKAT: WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT MY OVERLY EXPENSIVE FUCKING CARS THIS MORNING THEN?
KARKAT: SOUNDS LIKE YOU WANTED TO FLEX SOMETHING.
DAVE: dude that was literally a joke
KARKAT: WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT FREUD? I’M SURE HE WAS TALKING THROUGH YOU LIKE ONE OF THOSE FUCKING EXILES, BEGGING YOU TO SHARE YOUR FEELINGS FOR YOUR GOOD FRIEND HERE.
DAVE: shut up
DAVE: we can talk about this shit later
DAVE: jade needs to sleep
KARKAT: NO STRIDER, WE CAN TACKLE THIS RIGHT NOW. WE’RE ALL PRESENT AND AWAKE. WE’RE EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE. WE CAN TALK THROUGH OUR SHIT LIKE FUCKING ADULTS.
KARKAT: ADMIT YOU WANT TO BE MATESPRITS WITH JADE.
KARKAT: JADE I ALREADY KNOW WHERE YOU ARE WITH THIS. LET’S JUST GET ALL THIS OVER WITH.
JADE: i
JADE: karkat…
DAVE: look what youre doing karkat
DAVE: youre doing the exact shit youre uncomfortable with
DAVE: your double standards are fucking awful
DAVE: jade and i are on a till further notice basis
KARKAT: THE FURTHER NOTICE IS RIGHT NOW. I’M SICK OF YOU TWO PLAYING THE “WILL THEY WON’T THEY” GAME. SINCE YOU’RE SO INSISTENT ON WHITE KNIGHTING HER AND FORCING US TOGETHER, IT’S ONLY FAIR I GET TO DIG INTO YOUR BULLSHIT.
DAVE: im not having this conversation right now
DAVE: its just not the right time
KARKAT: WHEN WILL, HUH?
DAVE: like youre the best judge
KARKAT: FUCK OFF???

Jade stood up suddenly, taking a deep breath as she showed a face of frustration.

JADE: i cant do this right now
JADE: i need some air
JADE: last thing i need right now is an argument

She walked towards the door and looked back at both of them.

JADE: text me when youre done with…
JADE: this
JADE: i need to go on a walk

Without letting either of them get another word in, Jade left the warmth of the house and closed the door behind her.

She looked at the quiet evening outside, slowly breathing in the cold air; heavy breaths were followed by a mixture of thoughts that cycled rapidly. From the intervention at John’s house to lunch with Rose to her breakdown at home to finally the argument about Dave and Karkat’s feelings for her, everything was just simply too much.

It felt as if she had no control over anything.

What she desired more than anything was to grasp the events in front of her and shape them into a future she believed was most comfortable for everyone, including herself. The threads of it all were within her reach; yet, the concept of wielding them was overwhelming. She wasn’t ready for that kind of responsibility.

Jade walked towards a nearby bench and took a seat, feeling the slight wetness of the wood upon her tail. She pulled out her phone and began to text Terezi.

– gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 8:32pm –

GG: hey terezi
GG: sorry about all the stuff earlier with john
GG: i know its a lot to go through and his actions were stupid in the ways only he can be
GG: im gonna talk with him tomorrow about it but i just wanted to check in with you
GC: H3Y J4D3
GC: 1M
GC: 1M F1N3
GC: TH4NKS FOR 4SK1NG
GG: are you sure? i dont know if the vriska stuff is fine
GG: sorry i guess i shouldnt be the judge of that
GC:
GC: NO YOUR3 R1GHT
GC: JUST DONT WORRY 4BOUT 1T OK
GC: 1TS MY SH1T TO D34L W1TH
GG: ok…
GG: just let me know if you need anything ok?
GG: im out of the house cuz dave and karkat are arguing again so if you wanna do anything or chat
GG: im totally able to

Jade sat for a few minutes, looking at the screen intently. Terezi was typing for what felt like forever. A part of her wondered what she could put down, but the truth was obvious.

Ring!

GC: FUCK 1T
GC: 1M 4T 4 HOT3L 1N TH3 TROLL C1TY
GC: W3 C4N T4LK MOR3 TH3R3
GC: 1…
GC: 1 N33D SOM3 SUPPORT J4D3. YOUR3 TH3 ONLY ON3 1 TH1NK 1 C4N TRUST R1GHT NOW

Jade looked at her message and took a deep breath.

GG: whats the name of the hotel?
GC: TROLL H1LTON OF GR34T3R TROLL K1NGDOM
GG: ill be right there
GC: S33 YOU SOON >:]
GG: see you soon! :D

– gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC] at 8:59pm –

Chapter Text

Jade stood in front of the troll version of humanity’s once long standing hotel chain. It towered over her like a giant, its bright lights beaming down on her like a tractor beam of a UFO. It pulled her forward, the threads of reality beckoning her inside to meet with an old friend.

Within Schrodinger’s Box sat a dormant beast that excitedly awaited her next steps; something gave Jade the feeling that she was walking into the exact thing she was expecting. Of course, that result is entirely contingent on her own decisions—but her current perspective sees the outcomes as purely binary.

Luckily for her, this understanding was bubbling at the surface, preparing her for an evening that she herself would see as the outcome of most desirable results. What those results were was a matter of her own choices. All she needed to do was-

Ring!

Jade walked through the sliding doors of the hotel, bathing in the warm light of a large chandelier above. The lobby split in two directions: one on the right led to the greater lobby with a restaurant in the back and the check-in counter to the far end, while the left gracefully guided her to the elevators. Though, even further to the left was a staircase that went directly to a set of glass doors on the second floor.

It was an oddly flat and discomforting lobby. It was open but also claustrophobic. Perhaps, its structure was nothing more than a product of the poor decision making of builders’ past.

She stood in the lobby for several minutes, practically paralyzed by the size of everything. No one was in the lobby with her nor was there any noise to contradict that theory that the place was anything but a ghost town. The convenience to remove an audience from a scene was strange, though she didn’t quite know that she was the one who was preventing any strange looks or presence from viewing her.

The hotel was indeed quite bustling. In fact, mere minutes prior the lobby was filled to bursting with travelers looking for a place to stay in the Troll Kingdom after the building anxieties of recent events—but after Jade walked through those double doors, everything changed.

Like a kid’s toys, they were wrapped up and placed back in the box until the moment would pass. Only then would they be able to return from their stasis.

Jade looked at her phone and checked the room number Terezi sent her.

GC: 1201

She looked at the number intently.

JADE: why do i…
JADE: that…
JADE: 1201
JADE: right

She smacked her cheeks and shook her head. She needed to focus and meet with Terezi.

When she approached the elevators, one had been open, ready for her to enter. Upon walking in, she noticed a typical set of buttons on the left and right side of the doors. When she tried to press the twelve button, nothing happened. The doors refused to close and the button didn’t glow.

Her eyes eventually met with the black card reader that teasingly sat at the bottom of the panel. She could almost see it sticking its tongue out at her, making fun of her for trying to move upwards.

Her options were as binary as one could get: she could either stay standing in the elevator forever or leave, giving up. These were the clearest decisions one could make. After all, there was no way to make the chained box move in any capacity.

JADE: hmm… what if…

Jade stuck her tongue out to the side, ready to investigate the panel. She pressed the one button and noticed its glow. An idea has suddenly popped into her head as if the solution was obvious. There was never truly a perfect way to enforce such a strict set of rules. If one button can activate without a key card then…

She pressed the one button and then the twelve button, making the two of them glow simultaneously.

Instantly, the doors began to close, preparing for liftoff.

JADE: yes!!!! i knew it!!!

She cheered as the elevator slowly moved upwards. However, her excitement had rapidly turned to confusion.

JADE: how did i… know that?

Her logic was sound, but her ingenuity hadn’t really come from a place of experience. She stayed at a few hotels with others, but none were like this. How could she have known such a trick was possible?

Well, all she had to do was-

Ring!

The doors opened in front of Jade, bringing her into a silent corridor. The buzz of the warm lights rang in her ears, building a sense of anxiety in the halls. She could imagine a horror movie where the monster would appear at the other end and let out a loud billowing howl before making chase.

She took a breath and pressed forward toward room 1201 at the very end of the left hall. Upon seeing the door, she felt a strange presence on the other side. She knew it was Terezi, though the anticipation that came from knowing what events would transpire almost created a being within that embodied the very nature of uncertainty itself.

Knock knock knock!

Jade knocked on the door, awaiting her friend to answer. It took a minute or so until the lock unlatched from behind, allowing the door to slowly open in front of her. Terezi stood, teal streaks on her cheeks, her glasses entirely removed to reveal the red spheres that had become of her eyes.

TEREZI: H3Y
TEREZI: COM3 1N…

Jade followed Terezi into the room where a mess of food wrappers were strewn on the floor alongside a singular pair of black jeans. To the left in the room was a king size bed with a bedside table; parallel to it was a dresser with a large flatscreen television. As she entered, a rush of cold air blew over her from the vent above, sending shivers down her spine.

Terezi walked to the back of the room near the large window that had been covered with the blinds. She sat in a chair and gripped her walking stick in her hands.

Jade decided to sit on the bed and look at Terezi, whose face was painted with a mixture of emotions that she understood all too well.

TEREZI: TH4NKS FOR COM1NG
JADE: of course!
JADE: i hope everythings ok :(
JADE: though im sure all the john stuff is probably a lot
TEREZI: 1TS NOT JUST THE JOHN STUFF

Terezi took a deep breath, feeling teal tears well up in her eyes.

TEREZI: 1TS VR1SK4…
TEREZI: 4FT3R 4LL TH3S3 Y34RS… 1 LOOK3D FOR H3R FOR SO LONG 4ND-
TEREZI: SH3 W4S H3R3
TEREZI: NO ON3 S41D 4 TH1NG…
JADE: idk if it helps but vriska is more of a recent thing
JADE: like literally yesterday sorta thing
JADE: though that doesnt really fix the whole…
TEREZI: JOHN NOT S4Y1NG 4NYTH1NG?
TEREZI: Y34H
TEREZI: 1V3 B33N THROUGH TH4T SH1T 4LL FUCK1NG D4Y
TEREZI: BUT ALSO JUST…

She shook her head.

TEREZI: VR1SK4…
TEREZI: IF SH3 COULDV3 M3SS4G3D M3 TH3 WHOL3 T1M3…

Terezi’s fists clenched, her long black nails sunk into her palms. Her teeth grit, showing her spikey fangs.

TEREZI: 1 H4T3 TH3M!!!!!

She screamed out into the air, tears streaming down her face.

TEREZI: TH3 F4CT TH4T YOU H4D TO T3LL M3!
TEREZI: FUCK 4ND SH3 H4D THE FUCK1NG G4LL TO COM3 TO M3 4CT1NG L1K3 TH3R3 W4S NOTH1NG WRONG!
JADE: im sorry terezi…
JADE: i wish i could help
JADE: i just did what i thought was right…
TEREZI: DONT G3T M4D 4T YOURS3LF
TEREZI: YOU D1D TH3 R1GHT TH1NG
TEREZI: 1F 1 K3PT S34RCH1NG FOR3V3R…
TEREZI: 4ND SH3 W4S H3R3 TH3 WHOL3 T1M3 1-

Terezi shook her head.

TEREZI: 1T DO3SNT M4TT3R
TEREZI: WH4TS DON3 1S DON3
TEREZI: 1 DONT N33D TH3M
JADE: terezi…

Terezi stood up and set her cane on the table in front of her, looking at Jade.

Suddenly, Jade saw Terezi in a different light. No longer obfuscated by a door or sitting position, she got a look at the broken hearted woman in front of her.

She wore her usual Libra shirt with multi-colored scalemate boxers underneath. Her legs were covered in black sprawling hair on her soft gray skin. In spite of her malnourished state, there was still some softness to Terezi that seemingly would never go away. Her thighs, her arms, her stomach, her chest. Jade couldn’t help but stare at the beautiful troll in front of her.

Her eyes widened, her thoughts feeding her messages about her feelings she’d yet to express or even know about prior. Her mouth slowly grew agape, feeling warmth rush through her body, washing away the chills of the air conditioning.

TEREZI: J4D3…
TEREZI: 1 R34LLY N33D H3LP BUT
TEREZI: FUCK 1 DONT KNOW HOW TO S4Y TH1S W1THOUT-
JADE: yes!!!!
TEREZI: >:?
JADE: i know what youre about to say and
JADE: yes
JADE: if you need to get some energy out
JADE: we can do some spades stuff
JADE: lets do it
JADE: i

Jade closed her eyes and clenched her fists. Her tail wagged rapidly—showing her building excitement betraying the slow and steady breaths she tried to use as a facade.

TEREZI: H3H3
TEREZI: OH J4D3 >:]
TEREZI: YOU DONT N33D TO H1D3 4NYTH1NG
TEREZI: 1F WH4T K4RK4T TOLD M3 Y34RS 4GO 1S TRU3
TEREZI: YOU DONT N33D TO HOLD B4CK

A blush ran across Jade’s face, Terezi’s new confidence towering over her. She couldn’t put her finger on why, but she needed Terezi. She needed to let out every ounce of emotions she possibly could.

JADE: terezi…
JADE: i
JADE: i need you…
TEREZI: TH3N COM3 H3R3 B1TCH
TEREZI: 1F YOU N33D M3 TH3N YOULL JUST H4V3 TO PROV3 1T >:]
JADE: wruff!!!!!
TEREZI: H3H3H3
TEREZI: TH3R3S THE L1TTL3 B4RK B34ST 1V3 H34RD SO MUCH 4BOUT

Jade looked at Terezi, feeling instincts bubble inside her. It’d been so long since the animalistic parts of herself came to the surface and showed themselves. She could no longer hold herself back; all she wanted was to satisfy herself after holding back for months.

JADE: woof!!!

She stood up off the bed and walked towards Terezi, a smile imprinted onto her now extremely red face.

TEREZI: TH4TS R1GHT
TEREZI: TH3R3 W3 4R3

Terezi lifted her hand and put it on Jade’s shoulder, slowly pushing her down until she was on her knees. Fingers glided up Jade’s neck, face, and eventually atop her head. Terezi brushed her hand across her hair and dog ears, petting the dog girl. Jade leaned into it.

TEREZI: GOOD B4RK B34ST

She continued to pet Jade until-

TEREZI: OWW!!!
TEREZI: FUCK!!!!!

Jade’s teeth sank deep into Terezi’s arm—her mouth clasped onto her gray skin, latching on like a leech. Terezi shook her arm violently, trying to get the beastly Jade off her.

TEREZI: B4D B4RK B34ST!!!
TEREZI: L3T GO!

With a final swing Jade lost grip of Terezi’s arm, making her drop to the ground. Terezi smelled her arm; bright teal bite marks glowed on her skin. Teal blood formed upon the wound, beginning to drip down her arm.

TEREZI: B4D G1RL!
JADE: wruff!!!!!

Jade looked at Terezi with animalistic desire in her eyes.

TEREZI: B4RK B34ST G3T ON TH3 B3D

Jade shook her head violently.

TEREZI: J4D3
TEREZI: B3 4 GOOD G1RL 4ND G3T ON TH3 B3D
JADE: grrrrrr
TEREZI: H3Y!

Terezi grabbed Jade by her arms and lifted her towards the bed. Jade struggled, but still let Terezi push her for the sake of further excitement.

Jade was pinned onto the bed by Terezi’s surprisingly strong press; their faces were parallel, heavy breathing coming from both participants.

TEREZI: J4D3
TEREZI: YOUR3 GO1NG TO L1ST3N TO M3 4ND DO WH4T 1 S4Y
TEREZI: B3 4 GOOD B4RK B34ST 4ND YOULL G3T WH4T YOU W4NT
JADE: and what is that huh?

Jade smirked at her. Terezi responded with a wide grin.

TEREZI: YOU R34LLY W4NT MY BULG3 DONT YOU?
TEREZI: YOUR3 OBS3SS3D W1TH TROLLS PL4Y1NG W1TH YOU US1NG TH31R BULG3
TEREZI: 1SNT TH4T R1GHT

Jade squirmed under Terezi’s arms, not wanting to admit the truth. She was right, but she didn’t want Terezi to know that. It was less of a fight that way.

TEREZI: OWWW!!!!

Jade’s knee hit Terezi directly in her bulge, sending waves of pain through the troll’s body. Her face grew teal, while anger bubbled through to her expression.

TEREZI: YOU…
TEREZI: B1TCH…
JADE: hehehe

She laughed, finding great satisfaction in the pain inflicted by her partner.

TEREZI: YOU KNOW WH4T?
TEREZI: T4K3 TH1S

Terezi gripped Jade’s shoulders as hard as she could, pulling her jacket off. She regrabbed the dog girl’s arms and sank her nails into her skin, forcing blood to stream down from the punctures.

JADE: nggghh…
JADE: tereziiii…

Jade winced in pain, feeling the pressure of Terezi’s grip send waves and waves of agony through her nerves. Warmth spread through her body as the adrenaline of her damage forced her heart to beat faster and faster.

JADE: AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!

Terezi sank her teeth into Jade’s shoulder, running her lizard-like tongue across the skin to taste the blood that drained.

JADE: tereziiii
JADE: ooooohhh
JADE: tereziiiiii!!!!!!

Jade squirmed as Terezi continued to bite down on her; the pain of the nails remained as well. All the while, her penis hardened more and more with each pulse through her body. The blush on her face grew more and more, creating a feedback loop that made her desire the pain even further.

Terezi moved her mouth off of Jade’s shoulder and smelled the surface below. She took a deep breath in and then out.

TEREZI: J4D3…
TEREZI: YOUR BLOOD…
TEREZI: YOUR R3D…
TEREZI: 1TS SO…

Terezi’s bulge squirmed in her pants, growing wet with teal moisture at its opening. She brought her mouth just above Jade’s—their lips mere millimeters away.

JADE: terezi…
TEREZI: J4D3…

Their lips clasped, blossoming into an explosion of fervor. Their blood continued to flow out of their respective wounds – yet the pain only served to push their passion further. They couldn’t help but get further and further into their kiss.

The pressure on their lips grew more and more until they parted further, allowing their tongues to join the passionate display. Terezi’s long tongue wrapped around Jade’s, tasting the intoxicating red hue.

As they made out, the two grinded against one another, feeling the other’s privates grow ever more needy of satisfaction.

Terezi moved her arms from Jade’s arms and gripped the waist of her skirt and leggings, slowly pulling them down her legs. Beneath them were lime green panties with a massive wet spot near the front, which protruded outwards.

Their lips parted for a moment, giving the two a moment to breathe. They stared at one another with lust in their eyes—between breaths their smiles grew wider and wider. When Terezi put her hand on Jade’s lump in her underwear, she began to laugh.

TEREZI: H3H3H3
TEREZI: SOM3ON3S EXC1T3D HUH?
JADE: wruff…

She put her hand into her underwear and grabbed Jade’s penis, feeling the hardness of her erection. Back and forth she stroked it slowly, watching Jade’s face cycle through a series of expressions that displayed her ecstasy.

TEREZI: GOOD BARK B34ST.
JADE: woof!!!

With her other hand, Terezi pulled down her boxers and let her bulge freely squirm; its slimy tentacle made its way into Jade’s underwear and joined Terezi’s hand in wrapping around her dick. The wetness of the tentrile sent waves of arousal through Jade’s body.

JADE: oooohh…
JADE: oooooh fuuuuck…

Jade moaned, feeling Terezi jack her off, making her member harder and harder. The precum upon her tip flowed like a waterfall on her penis, making Terezi’s bulge grip harder around it.

Terezi eventually pulled down Jade’s panties and rubbed the vaginal equivalent of her bulge up against the tip, letting Jade’s wetness seep into her.

TEREZI: OOOOH…
TEREZI: H3H3H3

She made an approach towards Jade’s lips once again, but redirected herself to Jade’s neck. Terezi bit into the left side as hard as she could, tasting the blood pour from the puncture directly onto her tongue.

Jade let out a loud moan, convulsing in pain—however, the pain was massively outweighed by the pure bliss that filled her. She loved this. She loved it more than her words could ever describe.

In a bout of rebellious retaliation, Jade shook Terezi off her neck and returned with a bite of her own, putting all of her energy into tearing a chunk out of her lover as possible.

TEREZI: GRRR4444HHHHHHHH

Jade bit harder and harder, gripped onto her partner with as much jaw strength one could provide. She was like a wild animal latching onto her prey. Much to her delight, her actions had resulted in the desired result: Terezi gripped her dick even harder and stroked it even faster.

Ecstasy continued to rapidly flow through her, slowly freeing the tenseness that came from her unmet needs. She was in Heaven.

Terezi moved her arms to Jade’s head and forcefully ripped her off, bringing a chunk of flesh from her shoulder to remain in her mouth. Her face winced in pain, but her intentions weren’t quite presented.

She kept one hand pressed up against Jade’s forehead as she squirmed to try and bite at her again while the other reached for Jade’s chest. She clawed her way into the shirt and ripped it off Jade’s body, leaving her with just a tattered bra holding up her breasts.

TEREZI: YOUV3 B33N 4 B4D DOG
TEREZI: 1 W4NT YOU TO F33L TH1S P41N FOR 4S LONG 4S YOU TH1NK OF M3
TEREZI: YOU L1TTL3 B1TCH
JADE: grrrrrrr wrruffff!!!! >:(
TEREZI: TH4TS R1GHT
TEREZI: B3 4NGRY
TEREZI: TH4TLL JUST M4K3 M3 LOV3 TH1S 3V3N MOR3 >:]

Terezi ripped off Jade’s bra and sunk her nails into smaller yet full breasts, gripping them like one would clench a stress toy. Jade moaned, thrusting her hips more and more—the wet tendrils on her penis running up it faster and faster. As a result, her pressing up against Terezi’s bulge filled Terezi with a similar sense of arousal.

Blood dripped on Terezi’s fingers, the liquid coming in waves while she squeezed Jade’s right breast to the rhythm of a beating heart. Eventually, she paused and brought her thumb to Jade’s nipple and began to play with its tip. Jade trembled, almost feeling herself climax, but the end of Terezi’s bulge wrapped around the head of her penis and covered it.

JADE: terezi…
JADE: fuck
JADE: oh my god…
JADE: terezi!!!!!!
TEREZI: W3R3 NOT DON3 UNT1L 1 S4Y W3R3 DON3
TEREZI: B3 4 GOOD G1RL
JADE: wrr…wruff!!!!!
JADE: woof!!!

Jade reached out her hands and tried to grab Terezi’s breasts in turn, however her arms were too weak to move beyond a few inches off the bed. The fuzziness that now consumed her body alongside the sustained blood loss left her like a plush toy, only able to watch as Terezi continued to fuck her.

As Terezi lifted her other arm to grab Jade’s other breast, Jade tried to chomp at it the best she could, but she was simply unable to reach. As a result, Terezi now had both of her breasts captive, thumbs swirling around her nipples, hardening them to the point of becoming two distinct tips, erecting upwards.

The sensations pooled within her dick, begging to let out all of her energy. Terezi continued to keep her unable to cum, forcing a never-ending climax that rendered Jade’s physical and mental senses nearly nonexistent.

JADE: please…
JADE: tereziiiii…
TEREZI: OH PUPPY
TEREZI: YOU W4NT TO CL1M4X DONT YOU >:]

Jade nodded, her eyes looking like that of a pleading puppy.

TEREZI: 1LL ONLY L3T YOU 1F YOU B3 4 GOOD G1RL OK
TEREZI: M4YB3 TH3N YOU WONT D3S3RV3 MY WR4TH
JADE: ill… do… anything…
TEREZI: 4NYTH1NG? >:]
JADE: any… thing…
TEREZI: H3H3H3
TEREZI: OK TH3N >:]

Terezi reached behind her and grabbed her walking stick. With her left hand, she slipped off the sheath and held one of the blades just near the edge; she held it firmly in her grasp and raised it near Jade’s chest.

Jade’s eyes stared at the blade in both fear and excitement. Dried cerulean blood was stained on the metal, showing signs of frequent use. The ecstasy filling her body was boiling to the point of making her wonder if there was any life left in her body other than the small bit of consciousness that allowed her to just watch as Terezi touched her.

She waited for what would happen next; she desperately wanted to know what would happen next. She needed release. She needed-

In a swift motion, Terezi’s sword sank into Jade’s chest, nearly missing her heart. Pain radiated in her body that she had never thought was possible—it was like her soul was leaving her, ready to pass on, leaving her a husk of kinetic sexual energy.

JADE: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

Jade screamed at the top of her lungs, both in pain and moaning with excitement.

In a fantastical display, the pressure that built at the tip of her penis exploded past the barrier that Terezi had erected, spreading rope after rope of cum over Terezi and her bulge. Alongside it came a flood of blood on her chest, gushing all over.

TEREZI: GOOD… PUPPY…
TEREZI: OOOOOHHH…
TEREZI: J4D333333!!!!!!

Terezi struggled to keep herself stable as the same pressure built up in her bulge, resulting in a climax of teal discharge that splashed over Jade, mixing with the red blood that spilled over her.

With deep and heavy breaths, Terezi removed the sword from Jade’s chest and dropped it on the ground; with little to no energy remaining, she let her body fall onto Jade’s, laying on the teal and red mixture.

The two wouldn’t exchange another word for several minutes while they recovered. Thoughts didn’t go through either of their heads, almost like there was a buzzing from the arousal and animalistic instincts that had replaced their normal consciousness.

Slowly but surely, the wounds on Jade’s body began to heal, leaving the only damage of the event just in the shredded clothes that now surrounded them. Though, that didn’t matter to her in the slightest.

As her thoughts returned, the only thing that could be formulated was one phrase. A phrase she couldn’t help but share.

JADE: terezi…
JADE: that was the best sex ive ever had…

Terezi caught her breath and smiled.

TEREZI: 1M… GL4D…
TEREZI: H3H3 YOUR3 SO 4DOR4BL3 WH3N YOUR3 JUST 4 L1TTL3 B4RK B34ST
JADE: woof! :D
TEREZI: GOOD PUPPY!!!

Terezi brought her hand to Jade’s head and pet her, making Jade close her eyes and uncontrollably smile.

TEREZI: 1 D1DNT TH1NK YOUD H4V3 1T 1N YOU FOR S3X L1K3 TH1S
TEREZI: 1M 1MPR3SS3D >:]
JADE: hey! i have a lot of experience ok!
JADE: just because im human doesnt mean i havent had my share of other quadrant sex!
TEREZI: BUT H4V3 YOU 3V3R H4D 4 SWORD PUT THROUGH YOU?
JADE: no…
JADE: no one ever wanted to truly be violent with me
JADE: and even then they barely did any damage
JADE: but you…
JADE: you really fucked me up hehe
TEREZI: 1TS FUNNY CUZ 1 D1DNT T4K3 YOU FOR SUCH 4 M4SOCH1ST
JADE: well you learn something new every day huh?
TEREZI: H3H3 1 GUESS SO

The two eventually composed themselves and got onto the bed, Jade laying in Terezi’s arms as they cuddled on the bed.

JADE: is it… ok if i sleep with you tonight?
JADE: nights at dave and karkats house have been kinda…
JADE: rough
JADE: that couch has been really fucking with my sleep and im just really tired of their bickering right now
TEREZI: SUR3
TEREZI: 1TS NOT L1K3 1 H4V3 MUCH COMP4NY FOR 4 WH1L3 4NYW4YS
TEREZI: 1 DONT R34LLY KNOW WHO 3LS3 TO GO TO OTH3R TH4N YOU
TEREZI: 4ND D4V3 4ND K4RK4T 1 GUESS

Terezi’s face lit up for a moment.

TEREZI: 1M GU3SS1NG TH3Y H4V3NT F1GUR3D TH31R SH1T OUT Y3T
JADE: not yet :(
TEREZI: >:/
TEREZI: 1TS B33N F1V3 FUCK1NG SW33PS 4ND TH3Y ST1LL WONT 4DM1T TO TH31R FUCK1NG F33L1NGS
TEREZI: HOW
JADE: i dont know
JADE: ive been living with them for the last few months and theyre basically dating
JADE: but they never want to admit it
JADE: its so annoying!
JADE: and then the two of them are doing this thing where theyre being each others wingmen for me and im flattered but
JADE: every argument is about me now :(
JADE: its just so exhausting
TEREZI: 1 UND3RST4ND

Jade looked up at Terezi and saw her beautiful red eyes. Something about this moment and the sex they had made her see the troll girl in a different light. This wasn’t just Vriska’s moirail or John’s spades crush.

This was a woman who understood her. Someone she could- no. We’re not going down this route.

JADE: terezi…

Jade. I said no.

TEREZI: HM?

Terezi. Don’t even think about it.

JADE: would you…

Ring!

Do you hear that ringing? That’s another box to open! You know what’s inside Jade. You know the correct result. The way you’ve shaped the box has shown you that there is no other good options.

JADE: fuck…
TEREZI: J4D3…

This will not happen. There are much more pressing things to worry about right now. There is that dream you’re about to have that will result in something better than you could have ever imagined. There is no point in engaging in this right now.

TEREZI: L3T H3R DO 1T

What?!

JADE: what did you say?

How did…

TEREZI: 1 S41D…
TEREZI: L3TS DO 1T

Stop.

JADE: you mean…

Please…

JADE: you want to be

…

TEREZI: M4T3SPR1TS Y3S
TEREZI: W1TH 4 L1TTL3 SP4D3S M1X3D 1N >;]

…

JADE: yay…
JADE: terezi…
JADE: im so happy…
TEREZI: 1 4M TOO…
TEREZI: 1 LOV3 YOU J4D3 <3
JADE: i love you terezi!!! <3

The two of them kissed.

I don’t want to spend anymore time on this. They made out and went to sleep. I… Fuck this. Next chapter.

Chapter Text

– timaeusTestified [TT] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG] at 5:23am –

TT: Jane.
GG: Hm? What’s the problem, Dirk?
TT: Call everything off.
GG: ???
TT: Everything. The election, your troll policy proposals, and even your union busting.
GG: What are you talking about? Why the sudden change in stance? I’m so confused.
TT: We have more pressing issues right now. I can’t explain them because she’s going to see our entire conversation.
TT: You’re gonna have to trust me.
GG: Dirk…
GG: Are you sure we can’t talk about this?
TT: In person, maybe. I don’t fucking know.
TT: What’s important is to not say anything stupid.
TT: I’ve already talked to Jade about everything, but I need you to chat with her as well. If we want everything to be okay, then she needs to be involved.
GG: Okay. If you say so.
GG: I trust you.
TT: Sick.
TT: I’m gonna head over to your place now. We can chat more there.
GG: Sounds good. See you soon, Dirk.
TT: Later.

– timaeusTestified [TT] ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG] at 5:33am –

Dirk looked at his phone, hiding his emotions behind his typical stoic expression and sunglasses. Unfortunately, his eyes still spoke volumes of how he felt. His physical description can be examined beyond pure observation.

He sat on his filthy couch, unable to keep himself still; his violent shaking created a form of paralysis that prevented him from going anywhere. One could say that executive dysfunction had taken over his body. Something or someone was preventing him from achieving his goals.

DIRK: Fuck you.

He simply couldn’t move. He could flap his lips and speak nothings, but not a nerve in his body would respond to his intentions.

DIRK: Rose, you know that just because you have control doesn’t mean I don’t have my own means, right?
DIRK: You think I’m some moron just because your influence slipped in before mine?
DIRK: Nah, I’m just as in control as I need to be.
DIRK: Just give up, listen to what I told you before, and hand me the keys. We don’t have to do this the hard way.

Dirk foolishly thinks that the threads of narrative are the domain for those who wish to destroy it. One who wishes to take advantage of the inner workings of our friends and family with the express purpose of justifying his warped sense of canonicity. It’s pathetic, really.

DIRK: What the fuck are you talking about?

Despite his refusal, he knows for a fact what he was planning if he had control over this tale. I too knew precisely what would occur given my ascended state. Such a result is truly disastrous and a strict violation of the autonomy of others.

DIRK: Dude, you’re acting like what you’re doing right now isn’t the exact shit you’re accusing an alternate me of doing.
DIRK: You’re fucking pathetic, you know that?
DIRK: I thought my daughter was better than this. Apparently not.

Dirk’s incestuous notions don’t fall upon deaf ears—his intentions were as clear as day to anyone who was willing to read between the lines. Of course, what better a time to drop the subtleties for the sake of pointing out the sheer vile nature of such a man?

DIRK: First off, what the fuck are you talking about?
DIRK: Second, fuck you.
DIRK: What you’re doing right now is some insane projecting. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to realize you’re just taking all this bullshit baggage you have from alternative versions of us and dumping it onto me.
DIRK: You’re no better than him, Rose.
DIRK: Now, give up and let me have control again.

There is someone else more suitable for this role than myself or Dirk. She was on her way to reaching such an ascent. My protege was on the path to reach her Ultimate Self. It was only a matter of time.

DIRK: Fuck this, I’m getting up.
DIRK: This bullshit isn’t going to suddenly make me incapable of being a human being.

Dirk is foolish for believing that he has any ounce of control in this narrative when-

DIRK: I’m already out the door.
DIRK: Get fucked.

What.

DIRK: Aight Jane, I’m here.
JANE: Heavens, Strider! I didn’t hear you come in!

Because a certain someone is acting out.

DIRK: Sorry, had to work around some bullshit, but we’re good.
JANE: I- what???
DIRK: Don’t worry about it.
DIRK: We can discuss shit now. We can get into the real weeds of all this.
DIRK: This plan is going to have some major fucking changes, but we’re gonna make this the best plan that’s ever existed. No god is gonna break this shit, it’s gonna be tight as hell.

I’m rolling my eyes here. What a truly embarrassing string of words. Dirk simply cannot form sentences that hold any value or meaning to save his life. His lack of eloquence is one to be studied.

JANE: Go on. What is your idea? Since apparently our original plan is completely useless.
DIRK: Nah, it’s not useless. We can salvage it.
DIRK: It all has to do with Rose. She has some shit going on right now that I can’t really explain in a way that’ll make sense.
DIRK: But, she’s planning something.
JANE: Does it involve her relation to Kanaya and the Mother Grub?
DIRK: It involves a lot of shit.
DIRK: But yeah, there’s some troll reproduction involved in this too.
JANE: I see.
JANE: I’m assuming that the cancellation of our initial plans is related to this?
DIRK: Yeah.
DIRK: She wants to start a war.
JANE: What?!
JANE: In what way does that make sense?
DIRK: If we make too many moves too fast, that’s gonna put the state on the map for a large-scale rebellion. She knows the steps involved in this occurring, and you getting involved in head of state matters will rile up her friends to go against us.
JANE: Why would she want to start a war? She has no reason to? How would she even know about our plans?
DIRK: She knows shit that she shouldn’t. I don’t think I need to explain to you that she’s seen these outcomes with her seer powers.
DIRK: Why she wants to start a war is for a reason I can’t divulge or explain in a way that makes sense, so you’re just gonna have to trust me.
JANE: Then what’s your plan to stop this other than to just fall back? I feel like we can easily avoid this kind of conflict if we play our cards right. We can stop the future overpopulation of trolls and ensure that a war doesn’t break out.
DIRK: It’s not impossible, but not practical. We can’t take our chances here.
DIRK: That being said, I’ve already taken some steps to stop it. Terezi’s back and I had her set up a little fling with Jade.
DIRK: This should buy us some time.
JANE: What does that have to do with anything at all???
DIRK: Trust the process, Jane. Trust the process.
JANE: So what, am I supposed to sit on my rear and do nothing? I have a business to run and a problem that needs solving. We can’t just let real world issues fall to the wayside because of one person’s plan.
JANE: I’m sure we can very easily just arrange a meeting with Rose and talk things over. If anything, having her as an asset could be useful in managing the problem at hand. We need to think ahead, Strider.
DIRK: That’s not gonna happen.
JANE: Why?
DIRK: Rose isn’t going to let it happen.

He’s right, I wouldn’t.

JANE: Dirk, I hope you realize you’re not making sense at all. I trust that you know something I don’t, but there’s only so many logical leaps I can take before this becomes ridiculous!
DIRK: Sorry, this is something I have to just work around.
DIRK: I can’t say too much or we lose.
JANE: Dirk…

Jane bit her lip, unsure of what else to say. The ridiculous nature of Dirk’s words carried within her mind. All of her ideas and plans were being stomped just because her campaign manager and seemingly friend had some ridiculous nonsense to spread.

Dirk had never sounded more insane. He had his moments of delusion in the past, but those were merely bursts of neuroticism and selfish behavior that came with being a Strider. Never before had he spouted pure conjecture that one couldn’t begin to trust. His logic was faulty and his stressed speech bordered on full blown mania.

He was not a reliable narrator.

JANE: I’ll trust you.

Fuck.

DIRK: Sick.
DIRK: Thanks for hearing me out. I know what I’m saying doesn’t make sense, but I promise it’s all for the best of everyone.
JANE: What do you suggest I do then?

Ignore him. Jane considered rethinking the acceptance of Dirk’s nonsense plan.

DIRK: Do some shit behind the scenes.
DIRK: I’ll send you some documents I wrote up on it and you just follow that.
DIRK: There should also be the script in there for the press conference later.
DIRK: The less direct we are about everything, the better. We can deal with the Mother Grub shit in ways that aren’t revolving around it specifically.
JANE: Understood.
DIRK: Great, then we got a plan in motion. This shit is gonna stay in motion. Isaac Newton is gonna watch this shit from wherever the fuck and see it move. No outside force can stop it. Not even Rose.

I hate that I find that metaphor good. Goddammit.

JANE: Hoohoohoo!
JANE: You’re right about that, Dirk!
DIRK: That’s right. Where doing this shit.
JANE: Oh God, not you quoting your brother’s work again.
DIRK: Where making this happen.
JANE: I suppose we are.
DIRK: You’re damn right.
DIRK: Anyways, I gotta go. Check your email, the docs should be there.
JANE: Will do.
JANE: Thank you, Dirk.
DIRK: Any time.

Dirk left Jane’s mansion, which had not been established by the narrative quite yet because of his absurd violation of writing convention. One can clearly see why he is unfit for such a role; in fact, you’ve presumably seen first hand why he is quite horrible at this.

That being said, let’s actually establish this location, shall we?

Jane sat on her couch, staring at the exit of her living room. A living room that was filled with several bookshelves of assorted titles that she frankly never read. Her interior designer supplied the selection to create the type of coziness that a mansion living room should typically provide.

Upon the ground she felt the soft red carpet that was plush against her socks. A coffee table also sat just in front of her with reading material that she actually took part in. Though, frankly, she was mostly in it for the articles that contained information about her and her company.

Many magazines and newspapers served headlines along the lines of “Businesswoman of the Year,” “Jane Crocker: The Secrets of the Future,” “Goddess Among Mortals: Crocker Smashes Records,” with pictures of her in a lavishly Crockercorp red suit.

Needless to say, she was a fan of the attention; the heiress to the family company now led the reins over a global empire that had nearly as much influence as the world government itself. Her years of work had assured that her global power would face no restrictions by the likes of the systems that were supposed to rein in bad actors. However, woe it is to the system whose restrictions are only as enforceable as the people who adhere to them.

Regardless, Jane sat on the reflection of her wealth with several thoughts on her mind. The out of nowhere conversation with Dirk had filled her with a confusion and anxiety that she hadn’t felt in over seven years.

Every last bit of her life was planned and executed with precision—every bump in the road was easily smoothed with charisma and tact that allowed her coast through her early adult years. Success as something she was best friends with. Wherever she went, that word would typically follow.

But now, here she sat with a letter that the music was about to stop. The party was over and she would have to go home, existing as a shadow of her former self. Her ambitions were undercut by the words of a man who accused his ectobiological daughter of orchestrating an all out war.

It was simply a foolish idea that Rose of all people would want such a thing. What was there for her to gain by starting a war? The diplomatic route with regards to the “Troll situation” was way more desirable than going to war or stepping down entirely.

She believed that there was a real concern with the overpopulation and potential overtaking of Trolls on Earth C. In her warped mind, this meant there needed to be heavily imposed restrictions on their reproduction. What those solutions would be required the analysis of experts on the subject. If Rose truly was willing to talk about the subject, then her ties directly with her wife would be a valuable asset in solving this problem she had developed in her mind.

Who was Dirk to tell her what is and isn’t the correct move? Sure, he was her campaign manager and her most trusted resource – but she wasn’t some pawn in his schemes. She was the mastermind and he was the associate.

JANE: I think that’s enough.

She whispered to herself.

JANE: I’m not going to let him dictate and divert our plans. We’ve thought so far ahead! I’m not going to throw that all away just for him to try and take a grab at my power!

Reasonably, Jane came to a conclusion that any sane individual would. There would be no war if she played her cards right, she thought.

She stood up from the couch and made her way towards the office. As she walked she passed through her truly enormous foyer that had a large Crockercrop emblem stamped in the center of the room. From the entrance, one could walk to the right towards the living room, up the stairs to the living quarters, around the back to the kitchen and dining hall, or to the left towards the study and personal office.

When she entered the study, she looked at the bright red door at the end of the room. Much like her foyer, it too was marked with the iconic Crockercorp logo, notifying any visitors that the office was for business eyes only.

Jane closed the office door behind her and sat at her large oak desk. It shined with a glossy finish that would make one swear glass was upon it. Upon it were three computer monitors and a keyboard and mouse set that clashed with the rest of the room.

Dirk had set her up with a mechanical keyboard and macrobinding mouse that would be more at home on a gaming setup, but Jane didn’t bother to sweat the incongruence with the rest of her mansions design since her friend gave it to her—though, that made her wonder if Dirk ever had her best interests in mind at all.

She pulled up her email client, which notably had a pair of spikey shades in the corner of the window, denoting its exclusivity relative to the standard Crockercrop client provided via Skianet Systems. This added logo referred to a further encrypted version that only Dirk and Jane herself had access to. They could communicate directly without any fears of interference.

Jane grimaced seeing those sunglasses. There he was again, forever entwined in her life, acting almost like a puppet master to the big time CEO that she now was. When she stared at them, it reminded her of all the conversations where Dirk told her what the right choice was. So often was she talked over or sidelined for the sake of a plan he concocted. He always had a plan…

In her inbox were a series of five emails, all with titles that looked like garbled messes of text. She clicked on one to see.

TT: avkewjvklewf dsaklfjesklfjewkljfew

avhehewiuhfewiufheiu adkfjdsflkdj akljvalkjewlkjcewklvjewghueguihl iushbiurhuauhfeuihfaewiughweiug akvjewlkvjewlk;vjewlkvj aklfjwouivhewiuhfweiuhf

-afjewklvjewkljvewklj

To the untrained individual, it would appear that Dirk had fallen asleep on his keyboard; however, Dirk had prepared for such an event. He knew that I would be someone who could know the contents of these emails if he hadn’t encrypted them even further.

I must say, it’s a clever trick, and his play to get Terezi and Jade together was also another impressive display of wit. However, his understanding of canon and the future that I see is fundamentally flawed. He does not yet know why I act in the ways that I do, and as such, he is unable to circumvent the inevitable.

Jane opened another program on her computer, of course with a logo that screamed Dirk Strider. It asked her to input a password, which she swiftly entered. Within moments, the email that contained a garbled mess of letters was completely readable.

TT: Do not open this

If you have opened this email, it means that you are being watched. Do not go any further until I message you directly.

-DS

JANE: What?

Jane looked around the room, anxiously looking for cameras. Her paranoia of potential assassinations had never truly gone away despite the peaceful nature of Earth C. Who would be there to watch?

Ignoring the instructions, she clicked on the next email and used the program to decrypt the-

TT: Access denied.

I told you. Do not under any circumstances open any further emails until I message you. I’ll provide the proper decryption code so you can read it. Stay away.

-DS

JANE: For goodness sake, Strider!

She angrily opened up Pesterchum and began writing out a long statement towards her friend.

– gutsyGumshoe [GG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 7:52am –

GG: Dirk, I’ve had enough of your truly painful diversions for the sake of keeping me in the dark. You are going to tell me with full honesty what is going on or else I will make the decisions I think are best on my own. Between the planned campaign, the closure of said campaign, and now the frankly ridiculous game of cypher hunt, I’m just about done with you hiding things from me. You’ve placed yourself as the primary figure for far too long, and it’s high time I decided to take the reins again.
TT: Shit, Jane.
TT: Listen, I’m sorry if I’m keeping shit in the dark, but you have to trust me.
GG: I have been! For years!!!
GG: I don’t fucking care if your grand plan will result in something we’ll all be happy with, I’ve just been left out of everything since the beginning. I’m looking for some honesty.
TT: Jane...
GG: Don’t act all weak suddenly! I know it’s just another ploy!
TT: Okay, fine. But you need to promise me something, ‘kay?
GG: What?
TT: I need you to confirm to me that you’re not being watched.
GG: This again?
TT: I’m being serious. I need you to answer some questions and then I can give you the key.
GG: Ugh, fine. Let’s just get this over with.
TT: Cool.
TT: First, I need you to think for a little bit. Tell me if you hear an echo in your mind. It doesn’t need to be prominent, but I need to know if you’re feeling something going on.

…

GG: Not a thing. Everything feels normal.
TT: Okay.
TT: Second, I need you to open YouTube and pull up a Nostalgia Critic video.

………………………………………….

GG: Does the one about The Wall work?
TT: That’s perfect actually.
GG: It’s playing.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

TT: Anything?
GG: No.
TT: Final step, go out and make a cake.
GG: What?!
TT: Trust me, this is extremely important.
GG: Strider, it gets to a point.
TT: I know. I know.
TT: You like making cakes, so just treat this like a decompression exercise.
TT: When you get back, I’ll need you to answer the first question again, okay?
GG: Ugh. Whatever.

– gutsyGumshoe [GG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 8:20am –

Jane stood up from her computer and took off her glasses. She rubbed her eyes and shook her head, practically done with Dirk’s antics. Why would she be watched? Why would he make her look up such a ridiculous video?

She walked over to the kitchen out of her own volition—this wasn’t some act for the sake of proving anything to Dirk, she was just doing this so she could blow off some steam. She had no intention of listening to what he had to say, but the documents were something to keep in mind for future reference.

As she entered, Jane felt a strange presence within the room. It was as if a spirit had possessed the kitchen, filling it with a personality that was recognizable yet foreign. Her head turned to a specific book on the shelf: her sole book about the making of pies.

JANE: Pie…?

Crockercorp was known for many things: cake, snacks, cars, trucks, planes, dog toys, and so much more… But pies? No.

She pulled the book off the shelf, feeling the dust across its pages and cover weigh it down in her hand. It was strange. Upon opening its pages, a cloud burst from the book, making her cough.

JANE: Goodness, why is this so dusty? I don’t even remember having this!

She flipped to a page for a fruit pie. The image showed a small version with a familiar pink wrapper. An ethereal presence drew her to the pie—something told her this is what she needed to bake.

JANE: This does look like an interesting idea. I guess I haven’t opened myself to other baked goods. A fruit pie shouldn’t be too bad!

Without missing a beat, Jane began to bake up a storm, closely following the recipe to a tee. From the first step to the last, she kept it all as perfect as possible. The rules exist for a reason, she thought.

When the pie entered the oven, she suddenly broke from her trance. The force that had once compelled her to make the pie had left her body, leaving her alone to explore her thoughts.

She needed to talk to someone. Someone that wasn’t Dirk.

– gutsyGumshoe [GG] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] at 8:48am –

GG: Hello, Roxy.
TG: heyyy janeyyy
TG: wuts up?
GG: Have you talked with Dirk recently?
TG: umm
TG: not rlly?
TG: he asked me the other night about the whole spider8reath stuffs
GG: Spider8reath?
TG: janey
TG: cmon
GG: What are you talking about?
TG: vriskas a spider w the 8s
TG: johns a breath or whatev
TG: so spider8reath!!!
GG: Roxy, that’s a stretch even for you.
TG: lolz
TG: but other than that gunk not rlly
GG: I see. Has he told you about anything regarding Rose?
TG: mmm
TG: no
TG: why do u ask? :?
GG: He’s been acting more neurotic than usual. He told me to take down my entire presidential campaign over concerns about Rose!
TG: why???
GG: He’s saying she’s trying to orchestrate some ridiculous war, but is being cagey about the whole thing. Now he has me going through these trials just to check my email.
GG: He’s hiding something, and I don’t like it one bit.
TG: hmmm
TG: do u want me to talk to him?
GG: No!!!!!!
GG: Sorry. Please don’t.
TG: oki np
TG: idk whats up but im here for u janey
GG: Thanks, Roxy. I appreciate it.
TG: anything for u bestie
GG: By the way, I noticed something about a pastry I’m baking.
GG: It has your color.
TG: oooo
TG: thats cool :D
GG: It’s this fruit pie I found in one of my old recipe books. I thought you’d appreciate that some things appreciate you, even in small ways.
TG: woag
TG: fruit pie thats kinda funny
TG: i was gonna have one like the other day
TG: then john ate it
TG: what a coincidence!
GG: What a coincidence indeed!

Shit. Let’s just…

Ding!

The timer on the oven went off, signalling to Jane that she should move on and get her pie.

GG: Oh, it looks like the pie is ready.
GG: I’ll have to let you go, Roxy.
TG: ok sounds good janey!
TG: good luck on ur election stuffs
TG: and ur pie stuffs
GG: Thank you!
GG: Talk to you soon.
TG: byeeeee! <3

– gutsyGumshoe [GG] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] at 9:28am –

Jane put her hand through her oven mit and went to pull the pie out of the oven. Upon opening the door, the room was filled with a wonderful cherry bliss that washed away the musky odor that once plagued it.

Once she put the pie on the counter, she watched its perfect form practically glow before her eyes. She was not unfamiliar with the pie making process, but her inexperience in the field made her assume that she wouldn’t have such a perfect result immediately. The immaculate fruit pie stared at her, its freshness showing an authenticity that others like it couldn’t compare to.

Unfortunately, she wasn’t hungry; such a delicacy would have to wait for another time. Jane quickly wrapped up the last of her dishes and returned to the office, ready to report back to her friend just so she could read some stupid emails.

– gutsyGumshoe [GG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 9:35am –

GG: Okay, I’m done baking.
TT: Anything?
GG: No.
TT: What did you bake?
GG: Strider, I’m frankly done with this bullshit. I’m sorry, but this goes beyond just being confidential and precise. You’re actively beginning to annoy me. I’m about ready to move on from this and do it myself.
TT: Jane.
TT: Fuck, ok I’m sorry this shit is hard. Trust me, please.
GG: I’ve put a whole lot of trust into you for these last several years! You just keep pulling the same manipulative bullshit! Give me the decryption keys or I’m just going to proceed with the old plans, got it?
TT: Okay.
TT: This wasn’t a part of the plan, but I trust you.
TT: The key is: ultimateselfroselalondeharley
GG: What the hell is that supposed to mean?
TT: Don’t worry about it. Just decrypt the emails.
GG: All this nonsense and baking a pie just for this. Amazing.
TT: A pie?!
GG: Yes. I baked a pie.
TT: Shit!
GG: What’s wrong?
TT: It’s okay. Don’t worry about it. Just don’t worry about it.
TT: Talk to you later.
GG: Um, okay?
GG: Talk to you later, Dirk.

– gutsyGumshoe [GG] ceased pestering timaeusTestified [TT] at 9:40am –

Perfect. Dirk thought he had everything figured out, didn’t he? How foolish.

Jane input the truly insane decryption key into the program and decrypted every email. With just a click she began to read.

TT: Success.

If you’re reading this then you’ve escaped the spying of one, Rose Lalonde. As I may have told you during our conversation that I planned, Rose is using the powers of her Ultimate Self to control the world around us.

I don’t know what’s to come, but I can guarantee you that if we follow this plan I have outlined, we can prevent that war and allow for our powers to reach greater heights. The remainder of these emails contain the plans. I recommend you read them all at once and only ever review them again if and only if you don’t hear that voice in your head again.

-DS

TT: Rose and Jade

I barely touched on Jade’s involvement with this. I want to clear things up so we know where we’re at regarding her position and how we can use her as an asset to change the course that Rose is on.

Jade had a prophetic dream about a black hole and this potential war that could break out. This dream is more than just a sign of things to come, no, this is a representation of the point of no return. If even just a part of her dream comes to pass, then our handle on the world, our concept of canon, will cease. Everything will be shrouded in darkness and we will all cease to exist.

Rose wants this because she wants something from Jade. That something I’m still working out, but I believe it’s to have Jade ascend to her Ultimate Self. She sees Jade as the only one who can be on her level that is worthy. Jade is the only one who has this ability that won’t question her.

If Jade achieves this form, then the dream she had will come to pass. We can’t let this happen.

-DS

TT: The Vrisrezi Contingency

Vriska and Terezi are our method for circumventing Rose. Nowhere in the prophetic dreams are those two mentioned. As such I’ve gotten the ball rolling and gotten Jade and Terezi together. As long as they date, there will not be the pressure or motivation required for Jade to ascend.

However, this relationship might not last. I’m confident it will, but just in case it does, I have a backup plan.

Vriska is currently dating John, that much is obvious. This relationship is a part of the reason Rose gained control in the first place. Vriska provides our universe with stability and justifies its existence. We can retain this balance by having her also be a way of preventing Jade from ascending.

The issue that arises here is that Vriska is completely impossible to work with. What we can do, however, is rely on Jade’s own volatility and desperation to gravitate to a similar partner. She’s a slut. She won’t just let herself be out of a relationship for that long, especially if that prior relationship had impacted her in such a powerful way.

-DS

TT: Revised Speech

Below is the revised speech I want you to give this evening:

Good evening, people of Earth C!

I have brought you all together on this fine evening to talk about my future plans as we continue to move forward in this fiscal year. To my investors, you are the life blood of this company and I think that without you, we couldn’t have gotten to the heights of where we are now.

As for the things I would like to address today, a hot button topic as of late has been the treatment of Troll workers within the company. As the Mother Grub slowly begins to bring life to many beautiful grubs, our populous will grow in great numbers, which means that our markets will grow more and more powerful.

The downside to this of course is the saturation of potential Troll workers within the job market, which I’m sure that many of our Carapician, Dersite, and Human employees will find concerning. You have all seen the original steps towards this solution via the limitation of Troll applicants in our system.

I have taken time to reflect, and that was a poor decision. Effective immediately, all restrictions on Troll workers will be lifted. I trust that we as a collective on Earth C will be able to handle the new wave of truly wonderful new grubs with tact and kindness like we would treat anyone else.

To conclude, I must address the recent sightings of a new Troll, a Troll that us, the gods of Earth C, have known for quite some time. Many tabloids and news stations have grappled onto the story with fervor, ready for the new drama. I would like to nip this in the bud.

Her name is Vriska Serket, one of the key players in our success in creating this wonderful, beautiful universe. So please, welcome the new god with open arms! Lift her onto your shoulders just as you have the rest of us! And know that she is a key supporter and asset in our endeavors to help make this planet even greater than before!

Thank you everyone for your time and support and have a great night!

I’ll have it printed at your podium when you get there. Stick to the plan and I’ll give you the next bit after. See you in a few hours.

-DS

Jane stared at the emails in sheer disbelief. Clearly, she’d attained the key under circumstances she shouldn’t have, but what did it matter? Dirk’s games were just poisoning her thoughts and preventing her from acting on her own will.

All of this was hogwash! Ultimate Selves? Canon? Prophetic dreams? This was all bullshit concepts held over in his mind since their time as children. Jane thought about how little Dirk had matured in the last several years; he remained the same neurotic control freak he was since he was sixteen.

What Dirk needed to do was stop living in these delusions of self importance and coincidence and move towards a more nuanced outlook on life. Real world problems require real world solutions. The machinations of a raving lunatic had driven things far off the deep end, and now was the time to make it end.

Jane stood up from her desk and let out a hefty puff.

JANE: I’m done with that man. He is ridiculous!
JANE: That speech is asinine and well out of my voice!
JANE: Fuck this, I’ll do it my own way!

She stormed out of the room and towards her bedroom to ready herself for the press conference. These problems were going to end right then and there.

After she left, another email entered her inbox, this time not encrypted at all.

TT: Rose

This means war.

-DS

Chapter Text

Jade’s eyes fluttered open, her vision blurred as she adjusted to the light. She found herself facing the ceiling, a blank white canvas reminiscent of the one that had filled her empty dreamscape.

As her senses returned, Jade heard soft snoring, and felt an arm wrapped around her naked torso. She took a look to her left, catching a glimpse of her new girlfriend Terezi’s face, sound asleep. It was then, as she blinked the remnants of sleep out of her eyes, that the events of the prior night reentered her mind.

Her thoughts raced with anxiety realizing just how quickly she’d rushed into a relationship. It was just one night of sex and now she was entwined with a woman she’d barely talked to prior. Perhaps she should reconsider-

TEREZI: GOOD MORN1NG J4D3

Oh.

JADE: morning terezi!
TEREZI: TH4T W4S ON3 H3LL OF 4 N1GHT HUH?
JADE: hehe yeah…
JADE: i didnt know you were so good at this
JADE: if id known maybe i wouldve come to you sooner!
TEREZI: TH4TS TOO B4D 1SNT 1T
TEREZI: 1 W4ST3D SO MUCH T1M3 ON VR1SK4 TH4T 1 D1DNT G3T TO S33 TH3 CUT3 L1TTL3 B4RKB34ST TH4T W4S W41T1NG FOR M3 TH3 WHOL3 T1ME >:]
JADE: oh terezi…
JADE: im so happy…
TEREZI: M3 TOO J4D3

They kissed. The two felt around one another, exploring every surface they could get their hands on.

JADE: hehehehe
JADE: god…
JADE: i love this!
JADE: i love YOU terezi
JADE: youre just so… soft and hot and…
JADE: amazing…

Jade’s face grew red admiring her new girlfriend.

TEREZI: OH J4D3
TEREZI: 1 LOV3 YOU TOO…
TEREZI: JUST G3TT1NG TO F33L YOU L1K3 TH1S…
TEREZI: YOUR3 TH3 MOST B34UT1FUL WOM4N 1N P4R4DOX SP4C3

Jade swooned.

However, she was hit with a sudden realization. Her face grew pale, thinking about the events the prior night: she went to visit Terezi, they had sex, they got together, and…

She woke up.

TEREZI: 3V3RYTH1NG OK?
JADE: yeah im fine…
JADE: i dont know just after last night something weird happened
TEREZI: >:?
JADE: well for a while ive had these dreams every night but now
JADE: nothing
JADE: it feels like after we had sex suddenly everything vanished
JADE: and i dont know how to feel…
TEREZI: 1 DONT TH1NK TH3R3S 4NYTH1NG WRONG W1TH NOT H4V1NG DR34MS
TEREZI: SOM3T1M3S 1TS JUST L1K3 TH4T
JADE: i guess so
JADE: its just so weird to not have dreams
JADE: even when i wasnt on prospit i still had the dream bubbles and then these intrusive dreams
JADE: at this point they feel kinda a part of me
TEREZI: M4YB3 1TS 4 GOOD TH1NG TH3N
JADE: hm?
TEREZI: YOU F1N4LLY H4D 4 GOOD SL33P
TEREZI: TH4TS GOOD
JADE: youre right…

Terezi, please stop this nonsense.

Jade realized that she disagreed. The recent dreams were wonderful displays of how her mind was coming together. After all, she loved kissing herself! Why would she want to escape that? Especially if she could maybe take it a step further…

JADE: i think the problem is that i was kinda liking the recent ones
JADE: they were different than normal
JADE: and i was talking with rose about them and now i have nothing to report back with
TEREZI: 1TS OK J4D3

Terezi squeezed Jade, giving her a kiss on the forehead.

TEREZI: W3 C4N DO TH1S TOG3TH3R OK?
JADE: ok…
JADE: thank you terezi
JADE: it means a lot…
TEREZI: OF COURS3 <3
JADE: i love you… <3
TEREZI: 1 LOV3 YOU TOO <3

The two brought their lips together once again and passionately kissed. Their display of love I will no longer dwell on.

TEREZI: >:?

Oh, come on. What’s wrong, Terezi? Is it so wrong to not want to waste time describing something such as this in arduous detail? There are more important things to cover.

JADE: you ok?
TEREZI: Y34H
TEREZI: 1 W4S JUST TH1NK1NG
TEREZI: TH3R3S SOM3 STUFF 1 N33D TO DO
TEREZI: 1 N33D TO GO T4LK TO ROS3

Of course, Terezi. I’d be more than glad to engage with you in a one on one discussion.

JADE: whys that?
TEREZI: 1 JUST H4V3 4 F33L1NG TH3R3S SOMETH1NG UP W1TH H3R
TEREZI: 4T JOHNS HOUS3
TEREZI: YOU S4W H3R R1GHT?
TEREZI: SH3 W4S SO…
TEREZI: C4LM.
JADE: i guess youre right she has been acting kinda weird recently
JADE: but she was also dealing with this condition that made her really sick so i feel like shes just acting calm cuz shes back on her feet
TEREZI: COND1T1ON?
JADE: yeah her seer of light powers were going crazy and then i guess suddenly she was fine
TEREZI: HMMM >:/
JADE: whats wrong?
TEREZI: Y34H 1LL T4LK TO ROS3
TEREZI: 1TS B33N 4 WH1L3 4NYW4YS
TEREZI: 1D R4THER NOT R3LY ONLY ON YOU D4V3 4ND K4RK4T FOR3V3R
JADE: thats fair lol

Terezi got out of bed and picked up her scalemate boxers off the ground. Before she could put them all the way on, Jade caught a glimpse of Terezi’s bare bulge, slithering around passively upon her privates, making her blush. Unfortunately for her, the view was short-lived.

Suddenly, Terezi paused and looked around, seeing the copious amounts of shredded fabrics scattered about the room, dried bodily fluids and blood of brown and teal staining the bedsheets and carpeting.

TEREZI: TH1SLL B3 F1N3 R1GHT?
JADE: uuuuh
JADE: maybe????
TEREZI: W3 C4N F1ND 4NOTH3R HOT3L
TEREZI: 1TLL B3 F1N3
JADE: there are better ones anyways
JADE: the beds in this one are a little stiff
JADE: kinda not the best for sleeping on :(
TEREZI: Y34H TH3Y DO K1ND4 SUCK
TEREZI: TH1S W4S JUST TH3 F1RST PL4C3 1 FOUND
TEREZI: 1M SUR3 TON1GHT W1LL B3 3V3N B3TT3R H3H3H3
JADE: hehehe ;P

Terezi finished clothing herself and put on her shoes. Before she left the room, she turned to Jade and smiled.

TEREZI: W3 C4N T4LK 4BOUT HOT3L STUFF L4T3R
TEREZI: 1LL S33 YOU SOON
TEREZI: BY3 J4D3 <3
JADE: sounds good!
JADE: see you soon!!!
JADE: i love you terezi… <3
TEREZI: 1 LOV3 YOU TOO J4D3 <3

After their display of unmatched love, Terezi left the room, allowing for Jade to live in her own head after so long.

Jade grabbed the blanket she was under and pulled it over her naked body, feeling the softness of the fabric across her skin, especially upon her breasts and privates. It reminded her of the prior night.

It was like she was in a daze the whole time, completely disconnecting herself from the events at play and just enjoying herself; all logic had been thrown out the window in favor of pure, unadulterated sexual pleasure.

This, of course, resulted in a split second decision that she realized perhaps should’ve been given more time. She loved Terezi, that much was obvious—but the issue at hand was whether or not that love was true love, or merely lust.

What about Terezi was there for her? Sexual pleasure was one thing, but the blind troll was nothing more than someone who assisted her in her abnormal sexual urges. She wasn’t someone who could tell Jade when she was being irrational or help her with her struggles. Terezi has a deep and complex personality, but she’s nowhere close to being able to assist Jade in her current matters.

Jade eventually got out of bed and looked at the sheer quantity of blood staining the fabric. One would swear there was a murder if they saw it… though I suppose there was. Regardless, the impact of her sexual adventures had fallen upon her, making her feel warm thinking about it. What other sex could she have using her immortality?

As she pondered about this fact, she took inventory of what she could wear. Thankfully, she still had her panties, leggings, socks, skirt, and zip-up jacket to work with. The downside of all of this is that she would have to suffer the arousing discomfort that was her soft jacket across her breasts.

JADE: i just need to make it home…

She whispered to herself, trying to mentally prepare herself for the journey ahead.

Upon checking her phone, she noticed the time: 10:25am. As her thumb hovered over the unlock button, she recalled the inquiry from Dirk yesterday.

TT: Just make sure to message me when you’re free.
TT: It’s about Terezi.

Perhaps she should...

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] updated their status!

It's unnecessary anyways. He shouldn't be privy in the affairs of a woman he has nothing to do with. Instead, she decided to pester Roxy.

– gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] at 10:25am –

GG: good morning roxy! :D
TG: gmmm!!!!
TG: hru jadey!!
GG: im good!
GG: i actually had a really good night last night hehe
TG: *eyes* *staring at u* *my face right in front of urs*
GG: hehehe oh yknow
TG: jade holy fuck
GG: it was really good sex ok!
GG: probably the best ive ever had…
TG: woag
TG: im surprised dont u literally only fuck the ppl that arent us
GG: so funny thing hehe
TG: O_O
GG: idk if you wanna know the details its probably way too weird
TG: noooo u tell me
TG: give me the deets
TG: vague queen give me sum spare food pls
TG: im starving of infooooo
GG: hehe ok!
GG: so im kinda with terezi now
TG: :O :O :O :O :O :O
TG: holy fuk congrats!!!!!!!
GG: tyyyy!!! :D
GG: im still not sure if jumping into dating was the best idea yet
GG: but im sure well figure it out
TG: yoooooo but still tho thats amazin!
TG: im happi for u two
GG: <3
GG: anyways you pestered me yesterday about visiting
GG: after i get home and change maybe we could hang out?
TG: yuuus
TG: lets do it
TG: im totes down
TG: u can visit callie n i theres tons of new shit goin on so we can talk ab all the tea
GG: sounds good!
GG: ill message you when im on my way!
TG: oki see u soon jadey!
GG: see you soon!

– gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic [TG] at 10:39am –

Jade put her phone in her jacket pocket and made her way out of the hotel room. Once outside the building, she looked around, seeing the bustling crowds of trolls roam the streets. The mixture of voices of many volumes, the shuffling of shoes on the ground, the honking of car horns, and the blaring of police sirens filled her ears, signaling another busy day in the Troll Kingdom.

Slowly she began to lift off the ground—paying careful attention not to alert anyone around her. Before anyone was able to notice the flying witch in the sky, Jade took off as fast as she could. The chills of the morning air blowing through her hair and onto her face.

She closed her eyes and immediately thought of her prior night. The image of Terezi’s body projected itself onto her eyelids; a flush spread across her face, her mind playing images of Terezi smiling, reaching for her blade, eagerly moving in for the kill. Anticipation filled her as the events played out over and over again. The feeling of being stabbed through the chest and the following numbness radiated through her body, warming her to the point of feeling her penis harden in her leggings.

JADE: fuck…

Jade stopped in mid-air and took slow and steady breaths; she was so excited, but hesitant at the same time. Her mind was plagued by the uncertainty of her decisions. The numbness when she almost died… was that what the relationship would feel like?

JADE: ugh! im being stupid!

She shook away her thoughts, wanting to ignore the painful truths within her.

A vibration ran through her, breaking her from her unnecessary thoughts, making sure she wouldn’t stand idle for an eternity. She pulled her phone out of her pocket to see an incoming call from Jane.

JANE: Good morning, Jade!
JADE: gm jane!
JADE: its been a while huh?
JANE: Hoohoo I suppose it has!
JADE: youre always so wrapped up in your business stuff i feel like none of us ever see you outside of our birthdays
JANE: This is true. Perhaps we can have more family time mixed in, especially with John’s return.
JADE: yeah…
JADE: im just kinda worried
JANE: Is this about the issues regarding Vriska’s age?
JADE: well uh
JADE: i mean not anymore really
JADE: i mean like weve just been apart for so long and theres so many tensions…
JADE: i just dont want us to have an argument!
JANE: About what?
JADE: karkat has been so on edge about your recent business decisions and i sorta agree with him and i know john will have problems too and
JADE: the last thing i want is for us to fight
JADE: and now i have a troll girlfriend so things will be really awkward
JANE: Oh Jade…
JANE: I promise you that it will all be okay. When have little disagreements ever brought us apart? Sure we’ve had our fights, but don’t you remember when we were comrades in arms, working with the Condesce, only to turn around and stab her in the back? It was us against the world, and we still came out of it as if it all never happened.
JANE: You’re worrying too much, Jade. I’d never push you away over political opinions. Your and John’s partners are always welcome in my home.
JANE: Besides, what I’m doing isn’t harming anyone. We’re simply… evening the playing field a bit. It gives everyone a fair chance in the future. I hope you understand.
JADE: i dont know…
JADE: sorry this stuff is just really complicated :(
JANE: It’s okay. I understand.
JANE: Anyways, I’m happy that you’ve found someone you love, Jade!
JADE: tyy! :D
JADE: im still kinda in the honeymoon phase but im really excited
JANE: Well, savor it while you can!
JADE: i will!
JANE: Now, what I wanted to message you about.
JANE: Dirk had raised some concerns regarding Rose. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed such a thing, but he’s worried that she has a tight grip on you.
JADE: i

Jade chose her words carefully.

JADE: i dont think so?
JADE: shes been a huge help dealing with all the insanity recently
JADE: tbh the last couple days have been some of my best days on earth c since we got here
JADE: she makes me feel…

A warmth entered her body, making her blush.

JADE: she understands everything i say and tells me what i need to hear
JADE: shes honest…
JANE: Hm…
JANE: I thought so. Dirk sent me a bunch of heavily conspiratorial emails about some nonsense idea that Rose is trying to manipulate you into being her pet.
JANE: As a matter of fact, I’m particularly done with that man’s borderline insanity. I no longer want to keep listening to his advice.
JADE: :(((
JADE: i guess he was kinda weird when i met him the other day
JADE: he looked so on edge
JADE: he was acting so unlike himself!
JANE: Agreed.
JANE: Well, as long as you’re okay, I feel confident in ignoring Dirk’s pointless babbling.
JADE: thanks for looking out for me jane
JADE: i really appreciate it
JANE: Of course! I can’t let my ecto-daughter feel uncomfortable in a place she helped make! I’m delighted that things are improving for you, and hopefully they will keep getting better.
JADE: hehe thanks “ecto mom” :B
JANE: :B
JANE: Now, I must go. I have to prepare for a press conference this evening.
JADE: sounds good!
JADE: good… luck with that!
JANE: ?
JADE: oh uh good luck! sorry im just not sure what youre gonna say so i was being a lil cautious lol
JANE: I see. Well, you have a good day, Jade. It’s always nice talking with you.
JADE: likewise!
JANE: Talk to you soon.
JADE: see ya! :D

Jade brought her phone away from her ear and sighed. It was always somewhat exhausting to deal with Jane, but she still took pleasure in speaking with her. From time to time it felt like speaking to a grandparent who had nothing but their own thoughts to share; ironically, this was very much the case.

Without wasting any more time she descended towards Dave and Karkat’s house, gritting her teeth as the chilling air of her rapid descent escaped into her jacket and frosted her soft skin. The captured warmth within had vanished, leaving her to writhe in discomfort until she touched the ground.

When her shoes met the grass, she took a long breath—feeling all of her thoughts wash away. It wasn’t worth getting so worked up about everything. She just needed to focus on herself and move forward. Once she was inside, she could finally put on something more comfortable.

Jade put her hand on the front door knob, feeling a rush of emotions envelop her. The events of the prior night had suddenly rushed back to her. She was so focused on Terezi, she completely forgot why she’d left to see her in the first place.

JADE: ugh… those two
JADE: i forgot…

She opened the door to see the same sight she’d grown accustomed to: two boys sitting on the couch doing nothing. More accurately, Karkat watched TV while on his phone and Dave had his laptop out alongside a wireless mouse.

The random noises of the show on the television masked the sound of the door’s opening and closing. Neither one of the boys batted an eye at their roommate as she repeated a similar pathing as the night before.

She walked behind the couch and towards the kitchen—this time avoiding eye contact with Dave. When she was face to face with the refrigerator, the pull that once occupied her mind had ceased; the urge to manifest what was inside had vanished.

The feeling that once had been an oppressive nightmare in her mind had become a vacant space that she couldn’t help but wish to be filled again. All the knowledge and understanding that came with it was gone. She couldn’t see into her roommate’s potential reactions or engage with them the same way anymore.

She felt so empty, so cold.

Jade opened the refrigerator, feeling the cool air wash over her body. The cold box bathed her in soft light as its contents gained clarity in her vision. There was-

Jesus Christ, Strider! How much apple juice do you need? You know you can alchemize these on demand, right? What’s the point of this bulk cooling if there is zero cost to making more? Whatever, anyways.

Jade saw the ridiculous amount of apple juice that littered the fridge; head to toe the shelves were covered in the bottled yellow liquid. She grabbed a random bottle of the beverage from the fridge and slowly closed the door.

As soon as she took the cap off her beverage, a voice echoed from the other room.

DAVE: yo jade are you having one of my ajs?
DAVE: can you bring me one?
JADE: uuuuh sure!

Jade grabbed another bottle from the fridge and entered the living room. For some reason, Karkat had seemingly vanished from the scene, leaving Dave to sit with his laptop closed next to him.

He turned to face Jade, where he lifted up his hands, signaling to her to throw the bottle at him. Jade tossed the apple juice at him, where he promptly caught it and started to drink it. My fervent brother couldn’t help himself to his favorite beverage.

DAVE: sorry for all the shit last night
JADE: its ok…
DAVE: you sure?
JADE: yeah its fine. i just needed some space is all
DAVE: lol
JADE: ???
DAVE: lol
JADE: oh hehe
DAVE: how was the rest of the night though?

Jade looked at him, confused. She took a sip of the cold liquid and let the sensations settle down her throat.

JADE: it was fine
JADE: i decided to spend some time with one of our friends

Dave smirked and shook his head.

DAVE: let me guess
DAVE: rose took you in
DAVE: cuz apparently you and her are suddenly super tight again
DAVE: which is cool i support that
DAVE: its just dirks been blowing up my phone with all these messages about her

Jade made her way over to the left side of the couch and sat down.

JADE: oh uh
JADE: no actually
DAVE: ???
JADE: terezi was feeling really down last night so i decided to visit her
DAVE: damn howd that go
JADE: it was…

She blushed.

DAVE: holy shit

Jade playfully jabbed his shoulder.

JADE: i didnt even say anything!
DAVE: cmon jade
DAVE: i can read between the lines
DAVE: that trail off into blush
DAVE: be real here
DAVE: ive seen it before
DAVE: its the harley crush special
DAVE: spill it you two fucked didnt you?
JADE: yeah hehe
JADE: it was really nice
JADE: i havent had that opportunity in so long
JADE: idk it was kinda nice

She looked at the TV, remembering the reflection of her and Terezi naked in bed together.

JADE: but i feel like i rushed into something
DAVE: what having sex?
JADE: nonono
JADE: i mean that-

Jade took a sip of the apple juice again, feeling the “nectar” flow down her throat.

JADE: terezi and i are dating
DAVE: WHAT
KARKAT: WHAT?????

Karkat from behind ran from the bathroom and to the couch, his mouth agape.

KARKAT: THIS HAS TO BE A JOKE.
KARKAT: JADE, YOU’RE HORRIBLE AT MAKING JOKES, SO PLEASE DO ME A FAVOR AND SAY THAT AGAIN.
DAVE: dude i dont think its any more clear
JADE: we kinda decided it after a little bit
JADE: idk it just felt right
JADE: and it still kinda does
JADE: but im happy…
JADE: i love her

Jade smiled, tears welling up in her eyes. Dave and Karkat stared at her, jaws dropped.

DAVE: well im happy for you two
DAVE: congrats
DAVE: too bad karkats gonna stay single
KARKAT: WHAT???
DAVE: dude whats wrong? its not like anyone would want to fuck you anyways
DAVE: you just sit on your ass and watch tv all day
DAVE: or post hyper defensive replies on my hate mail
DAVE: youre a total loser dude sorry to say
KARKAT: THAT’S NOT MY POINT AND YOU KNOW IT, ASSHOLE!
KARKAT: YOU ACT AS IF I GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WANTING TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP IN THE FIRST PLACE. WHO CARES?
KARKAT: I DON’T NEED FUCKERS LIKE YOU TO BREATHE DOWN MY NECK, GUILTING ME FOR DECIDING THAT THE WHOLE DATING THING WASN’T FOR ME.
KARKAT: HAVE YOU ALSO CONSIDERED THAT YOU’LL ALSO STAY SINGLE FOREVER TOO?
KARKAT: BOOHOO.
KARKAT: DAVE STRIDER IS STUCK ALL ALONE DRINKING THAT YELLOW GARBAGE FOR THE REST OF HIS IMMORTAL FUCKING LIFE.
DAVE: the bachelor life is sick as hell
DAVE: you gotta embrace it
DAVE: imagine going to your bros wedding and hes like
DAVE: “dude youre my best man. youre always there for me. total bro”
DAVE: i dont gotta worry about ignoring my best bro if i dont have other priorities
KARKAT: YOU ACT AS IF YOU’LL HAVE ANY “BROS” TO BE THE BEST MAN FOR. YOU’RE PATHETIC, STRIDER. TRULY PATHETIC.

Jade watched the two bicker with a wide smile on her face. For once, she could see them argue about something that wasn’t her. They were truly perfect for each other.

DAVE: hey listen
DAVE: if jake got hitched id be there for him 100%
KARKAT: OH? AND I WONDER WHO THE OPTIONS ARE.
KARKAT: THAT’S RIGHT! MEGA XENOPHOBIC BITCH AND YOUR DERANGED SAME AGE LUSUS.
DAVE: woah man
DAVE: dirk is not like bro
DAVE: but he is kinda crazy lol

I agree.

JADE: you two are so cute hehe
DAVE: what the fuck are you talking about
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

The two looked at one another while Jade giggled.

JADE: im just saying maaaaybe neither of you have to be single
JADE: after all you already have good chemistry!
JADE: and its not like im off the table either!
JADE: im sure we can have a fun lil polyamorous chain!

Karkat grit his teeth as he looked at Dave. Dave didn’t give a visual response.

DAVE: listen jade even if we still have relationship stuff on the table
DAVE: i dont think id ever date karkat
DAVE: hes my
DAVE: hes my best bro
DAVE: we do shit together cuz thats what best bros do
DAVE: and if that means sitting on our asses all day and bitching about politics then we gotta do it
KARKAT: I AGREE WITH DAVE. I DON’T THINK WE’D EVER HAVE THAT. FACE IT JADE, WE’RE JUST NOT GOING TO DO THAT.
JADE: what ever you say ;P
KARKAT: THAT FUCKING WINK...
JADE: ;P ;P ;P ;P ;P

The three sat in silence for a moment until Jade decided to abruptly stand up and down the rest of her juice in one gulp. She slammed it on the table with the rest of the empty bottles and giggled.

JADE: aaaaaaanyways
JADE: im meeting up with roxy and callie so i gotta get changed
JADE: you two can keep flirting
JADE: i think its cute!
JADE: then keep me posted on if we wanna do date stuff!

Jade picked up a new set of clothes out of a pile and made her way to the bathroom.

When she entered, she stared at her reflection, expecting the same impulses as before; she took off her jacket and looked at her body, yet the only thing she felt was pride. It was so strange.

JADE: why am i…
JADE: why am i not attracted to myself anymore?

Why wasn’t she attracted to herself? Perhaps there was something missing that would solve everything.

She slapped herself.

JADE: thats such a stupid question!
JADE: why would i want to fuck myself in the first place???
JADE: i mean its kinda hot but…
JADE: i have a girlfriend! i can do all the hot stuff i want now!
JADE: and its not like dave and karkat are off the table either
JADE: so who cares!

As she undressed, she looked at her almost nude body and frowned.

JADE: but why do i miss it?
JADE: who do i miss that feeling…

Chills ran down her spine as the cold air of the bathroom had almost frozen her body solid like an ice sculpture. Unfortunately, she couldn’t admire its beauty like she once could.

She shook her head, breaking out of her mental containment, and put on her new clothes. It didn’t matter to her how she looked because she didn’t think it was worth caring about. If she couldn’t see herself the same way anymore, then what was the point?

Hastily she left the bathroom and walked towards the front door; so hastily, in fact, that Dave and Karkat couldn’t get a word in. All they could do was stare at the door once again, seeing their potential lover behind it once again.

Jade landed at the foot of Roxy and Calliope’s house at the heart of the vast yellow Carapacian Kingdom. While one would expect the Prospitian architecture to be an overbearing for the eyes of those not well adjusted, their color choice had made its way in more subtle touches with paint.

Roxy and Calliope’s home sat in contrast to the pattern with a quaint soft pink home upon a lush green hill. In front was a tree with numerous engravings of crude images depicting two people, many hearts, and text referring to “R + C.”

It’d been a while since Jade had visited; the years had gone by so fast, she was unsure if it’d been a year or five. Regardless, the place didn’t appear to change much, not too dissimilar to the others in her life.

Jade approached the house and readied her fist to knock on the door—but as her hand was about to collide with the wood, it slowly opened to reveal a short green cherub, looking away with a warm smile.

CALLIOPE: ill see yoU soon, roxy! ^u^

She spoke as she put a foot out the door.

JADE: oh hey callie!
CALLIOPE: oh blimey!

Calliope stopped herself and looked up at Jade.

CALLIOPE: apologies! i was simply making my way oUt!
CALLIOPE: welcome jade!

She stepped aside and pointed Jade inside. Jade walked past and returned her friend’s smile.

CALLIOPE: yoU two have fUn! i’ll be back in less an hoUr!
ROXY: laters callie!!!!
CALLIOPE: goodbye roxy~

Calliope closed the door behind her, leaving Jade to look inside the residence. She saw Roxy laid out on the couch, holding her phone close to her face; she rapidly pecked away at her screen, seemingly deeply engaged in whatever activity she participated in.

<p>In front of the couch, Jade saw a coffee table with a set of green and pink flowers and a blue table mat carrying them with pride. She walked a bit further in the room to find a flatscreen television with numerous video game consoles hooked up and controllers spread across the floor in front of it.

ROXY: jadeeee

Before Jade could properly react, Roxy stood right in front of her, looking up with a wide smile on her face.

JADE: oh hey roxy!
ROXY: cmon lets sit! we gotta catch up and u gotta tell me ab terezi
JADE: hehe ok!

The two sat on opposite sides of the couch. Roxy leaned on the arm as she focused her left hand with a dark blue glow until a glass bottle of coffee milk appeared; she popped off the cap and took a long drink before swinging it down to lean towards Jade.

ROXY: oki u gotta tell me
ROXY: how wuz it
JADE: hehe it was…

Jade awkwardly thought about it, somehow extremely nervous in front of her friend.

JADE: it was really fun! yknow troll bulge makes for hot sex and all
ROXY: ye ye i know but like
ROXY: if this sex wuz so good u two literally got hitched over it
ROXY: theres gotta b more than bulge
ROXY: bulge talk is cute but u did more than bulge
JADE: how insightful lol
JADE: but yeah terezi and i decided to do some spades stuff with it
JADE: i was biting her and she was biting me back
JADE: she even got me going full dog mode hehe
ROXY: :O
ROXY: yoooo
JADE: but i dont think that was really the best part
JADE: it was really hot and i was really into it
JADE: but what really sold it was…

She paused. She could feel the numbness return to her body; the fuzziness of her mind almost made her faint, but she maintained her posture.

JADE: she pulled out her sword and stabbed me
ROXY: holy fuck
ROXY: oh my omfg
ROXY: u two r so freeky hehehe
ROXY: lemme guess u basically died from it
JADE: mhm…
JADE: idk ive died before but… never like that
JADE: she hate loved me so much that she wanted to kill me
JADE: it made me feel…
ROXY: special?
JADE: yeah…
JADE: i dont think shes ever stabbed anyone other than vriska like that before…
ROXY: awwww well im happi for u jadey
ROXY: ur hot whatever dynamic relationship seems rlly cute!
ROXY: esp w how shitty those randos have been
ROXY: im glad u had that
JADE: thanks roxy…
JADE: it means a lot
ROXY: <3

Roxy took another swig of her coffee and looked to the side, staring at her reflection. Behind it, she saw something that looked wrong—sure it was just her and Jade, but it almost felt like the picture wasn’t true to life.

JADE: anyways
JADE: since i shared my stuff you have to too
JADE: its the rules
ROXY: o fuck u know da rulez
ROXY: uh ye lets rip this shit off
ROXY: uuuuuuuh

Roxy bit her lip.

ROXY: uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhh

Jade looked at her, waiting for her to continue her thought, but nearly two minutes of a continuous vowel persisted into the air.

JADE: roxy spit it out lol
ROXY: fuck…
ROXY: jadey this is rlly hard!
JADE: im sorry :(
JADE: i guess imagine talking youre talking to callie about this
JADE: yknow what would you say to her
ROXY: they*

Jade froze for a moment. Roxy realized what she’d said at the same time.

JADE: oh uh sorry!
JADE: i didnt know callie went by they
JADE: thats my bad
ROXY: nonono this is recent
ROXY: kinda no one knows yet
ROXY: sorta related to wut i was gonna say
JADE: well im happy for them!
JADE: sounds like theyve really grown a lot since being here!
JADE: i know how it feels… so its good to see theyre thriving!
ROXY: mhm!!!!
ROXY: they just b the sweetest damn thing ever
ROXY: they were like
ROXY: “ima go by they now i dont rlly feel the girl life”
ROXY: and i was like “yoooo u got it monarch”
ROXY: “themby icon”
JADE: is that how you actually reacted? Lol
ROXY: u bet hehe
JADE: hehe thats so like you
ROXY: lolz
ROXY: anyways fuck it idk how else ima share this but

Roxy stared at the bottle—her reflection shining in the glass.

ROXY: so jadey do u ever think about gender?
JADE: yes of course!
ROXY: nono i mean like
ROXY: does it ever feel like
ROXY: does it ever feel like ur just kinda doin it for show?
ROXY: like hey ye this is me ima put on my girl show check out my dresses n skirts n look at my boobs n stuff
JADE: i mean in a way i guess
JADE: i sorta hashed this out when i was a kid
JADE: yknow seeing all of grandpas blue ladies i kinda wanted to be like that
JADE: and i did
JADE: then fusing with bec kinda fucked with it a bit
JADE: but now i feel comfy with it!
ROXY: i figured
ROXY: but i guess do u ever feel like ur wearin ur skirts n stuff cuz u want to or cuz u have to
JADE: i mean i think theyre pretty!
JADE: it makes me feel like me!
ROXY: thats sorta wut i mean
ROXY: ur just kinda doin it cuz u want to
ROXY: but i think im just doing it cuz i hav to
JADE: whys that?
ROXY: idk this girl stuff is just sorta wut i always wuz
ROXY: obvi i know i dont have to do it
ROXY: yknow rose isnt always bein femme all the time n shes happy
ROXY: but this is kinda different yknow
ROXY: when i look at my boobs im like
ROXY: o cool these r here i guess
ROXY: tho thats probs normal right?
JADE: i guess so?
ROXY: idk it just feels weird ok
JADE: ok so im kinda getting a feeling here
JADE: and correct me if im wrong but
JADE: are you saying youre…

Jade paused, afraid of assuming something of her friend. A smart choice given that she lacked the perception to properly know. I too am curious where this goes, so let’s not waste any time.

ROXY: i

Roxy’s fists clenched.

ROXY: ye
ROXY: we a big they household here
ROXY: i think
ROXY: idk
ROXY: we workin this shit out

Jade smiled, bringing herself closer to Roxy.

JADE: well i support you no matter what ok?

She wrapped her arms around Roxy, who leaned into the hug.

ROXY: ty jadey...
ROXY: it means a lot
JADE: of course <3

Jade eventually let go and looked Roxy in the eyes.

JADE: just let me know if you need to chat
JADE: this gender stuff is hard… i understand
ROXY: <3

The two stared at one another with smiles across their faces for a minute until they awkwardly looked away. The two giggled.

ROXY: bruh how r u so good at staring contests fuck
JADE: hehe you get a lot of practice when your only friend is a dog lol
ROXY: tru tru

The silence suddenly returned, making Jade’s thoughts linger. There was something else important about this meeting that she’d seemingly forgotten to bring up. Obviously, she wanted to bring up Terezi, but there was something that needed addressing long before her relationship.

The front door made a loud squeak as Calliope returned home with bags of groceries in their arms. The paper bags overflowed with assorted meats, breads, and sweets; even a bit of dough stuck out from the edge—signaling some form of baking was in order.

Baking…

Suddenly, Jade was snapped back into focus; the reason she’d wanted to talk to Roxy and Calliope in the first place had returned.

ROXY: welcum home callie!!!!
CALLIOPE: hello roxy! ^u^
ROXY: how wuz shoppin
ROXY: i see u got all the good shit
CALLIOPE: it was very good. they had all the things we needed this time.
CALLIOPE: especially the doUgh.

Jade stared at the dough.

ROXY: lets goooooooo
JADE: why dont you alchemize your stuff?
ROXY: cuz it tastes shitty
CALLIOPE: it is qUite bland, yes. it also lacks the fUn of constrUcting the real thing.
ROXY: ye idk we were gonna have this alchemized pie the other day but john wanted it
ROXY: i kinda didnt wanna make him suffer thru it but he seemed to like it
ROXY: bro rlly just ate it like he hadnt had a meal in years lol
JADE: huh…
JADE: ok yeah since youre both here
JADE: can we talk about john?

Calliope and Roxy looked at one another before exchanging a nod. Calliope rushed to the kitchen to put away the food while Roxy looked at Jade with a suddenly serious expression.

When all was said and done, Calliope sat on the ground near Roxy and took a deep breath.

CALLIOPE: okay.
CALLIOPE: how mUch do you know aboUt what happened?
JADE: um

Jade ran through the events in her head before speaking.

JADE: well, after i messaged john two days ago, he went to visit you two for a picnic
JADE: he was offered two food options and then saw roxys pie and he ended up having that
JADE: and from what he told me, callie you then requested he bring vriska here
JADE: then somehow shes an adult despite him grabbing a sixteen year old version of her
JADE: and somehow the two of them started dating
JADE: is there anything im missing?

Calliope shook their head.

CALLIOPE: that sequence of events soUnds aboUt right. yoU have most of it.
JADE: most of it?
ROXY: oki so theres sum stuff that callie knos somehow that they only told me like literally after
CALLIOPE: i saw visions of these alternative oUtcomes.
CALLIOPE: the one’s where john decided to eat one of the two options i laid out.
CALLIOPE: let’s just say they’ve inspired me to get into art again! ^u^
ROXY: theyre rlly good btw ive seen em
CALLIOPE: :U
CALLIOPE: bUt yes, becaUse of john’s decision, i was hit with the realization that withoUt something…
CALLIOPE: oUr universe woUld collapse.
JADE: so you brought in vriska right?
CALLIOPE: yes.
JADE: but why?
CALLIOPE: there is something aboUt how oUr universe operates related to the defeat of lord english and the assimilation of a greater power.
CALLIOPE: in another world, it appears that the doomed timeline version of myself assimilated.
CALLIOPE: while in another…

Calliope lost their words.

CALLIOPE: i can’t say it.
ROXY: callie…

Roxy looked at Jade with a frown on their face.

ROXY: theyve been tryin to tell me but they cant
ROXY: even in their drawins wutever is going on is just kinda not there
JADE: im sorry callie :(
JADE: i wish i could help
JADE: i feel like yesterday i had this ability to help figure stuff out like that
JADE: so idk maybe if i could figure it out
JADE: we could all know
CALLIOPE: i sUppose.
CALLIOPE: bUt is that information important?
CALLIOPE: we’re safe where we are.
JADE: i guess…
JADE: but i dont want you to struggle like this callie!
JADE: i wanna help!
CALLIOPE: i appreciate it, jade
CALLIOPE: bUt i dont think now is the right time.
CALLIOPE: i have a feeling that the time will come, bUt not now.
JADE: ok…
JADE: sounds good
JADE: just let me know ok?
CALLIOPE: i will. thank yoU for Understanding, jade.
JADE: of course! <3

Jade looked at her phone, seeing the time tick to 2:45pm. She stared at it feeling her skin slowly crawl as if something had happened. However, she couldn’t possibly know what happened—not for right now.

Something hit her again, as if a second bullet had been fired off into the air; a silent but prevalent event was at the cusp of her awareness—and still—she lacked the awareness to control it.

She needed something to grapple onto. She just needed one answer.

JADE: hey callie
CALLIOPE: hm?
JADE: why is vriska an adult
CALLIOPE: becaUse she needed to be.
CALLIOPE: becaUse that’s what woUld be canon.

Chapter Text

VRISKA: J-John????????
VRISKA: What the fuck are you doing?!
VRISKA: Let go!!!!!!!!
VRISKA: I need to see the fight!
VRISKA: No!
VRISKA: Nononononononono! Stop it!
VRISKA: Don’t retcon me out!
VRISKA: John!!!!!!!!
VRISKA: Joooooooohn!!!!!!!!
VRISKA: Joooooooooooooooooooooooohn!!!!!!!!

John shot up from his pillow, frantically looking around. His eyes shook, struggling to handle the whiplash of going between loud, vivid dreams to the comfort of quiet reality. Ever since he decided he wasn’t going to fight Lord English, he had the same visions; the look on Vriska’s face as he pulled her out of the fight had been burned into his mind. Her reaction rang in his ears as if the words were freshly heard.

He steadied himself, stretched his arms, and looked around his room, seeing the same picture he’d become accustomed to. After all, not much changed for him. The same old movie posters surrounded him. His ancient desktop computer sat on its equally antiquated desk on the other end of the room. It provided him with a sense of comfort.

He had to change, he knew he had to, but until then, he knew that he had to hold onto what's important to him. If he held on to it just a bit longer, it'd all start to make sense, right? He was going to figure himself out eventually—all he needed to do was spend just a bit more time thinking about what the next step was. He was going to make his late father proud, just like the man he was.

John suddenly felt a vibration next to him, signaling a notification from his phone. As he reached for it, he froze, recalling the events of the prior day. Before he could even as much as touch the device, the emotions came flooding back.

He slowly brought his hand to his right cheek, feeling the burn of Jade’s slap. In that moment, he’d never felt any smaller, and for what reason? Because he was dating Vriska? Because his friends didn’t want to listen?

No.

None of that mattered because even if the reasons for their treatment towards him were misplaced, he still felt immeasurably guilty for what he did to Terezi. He failed to message her for years, and then when it was the most critical time to say something, he kept it hidden.

JOHN: why didn’t i tell her…

John whispered to himself as if to validate his self-loathing. Something within him tried to justify his decisions; somewhere in his mind, a voice was telling him that keeping Vriska hidden would be the best course of action. She wasn't meant to be on Earth C.

Seven years ago, Vriska made the decision to remove herself from the creation of the new universe to fight Lord English. That should’ve been the deciding moment that locked her out; it was a canon event that should’ve been the linchpin for everything that existed.

Then why did Calliope tell him to retrieve her? Why remove her from such an important event? Despite how hard John thought about the answers, he no longer possessed the capability to understand the nuanced thought that went into such concepts.

It didn’t matter how many times it’d be explained to him, he simply lacked the fundamental knowledge to understand the importance and true meaning of the word “canon.” Perhaps in another time, another world, he could’ve understood these concepts and acted upon them.

However, the lack of such an outcome was a blessing in disguise. After all, we know how that ending turns out, don’t we? Let’s just say, this John has it quite easy.

VRISKA: J-John?!?!
VRISKA: Wh8t… wh8t the fuck?!?!
VRISKA: Where are we????????
JOHN: vriska!
JOHN: i can explain just… give me a moment!
VRISKA: No! Take me back!
VRISKA: Take me baaaaaaaack!
JOHN: i just need to
JOHN: need to
JOHN: need toooooooo……