Chapter Text
Valaena
The king failed to tell me that he had invited my family to stay an additional week. I found out when my uncle sent a servant to tell me. Just when I was to begin unloading all my bags and trunks, a knock sounded at the door. It was lady Natily, the lady the queen had sent to call me down for breakfast a morning past. She entered into my room, hard faced with her hands behind her back.
“Greetings young lady,” she said without a smile, “the queen has sent for you to be moved to new accommodations,”
“What? Am I… am I being moved from the guest wing?” I asked and she responded with a single nod, “but where to?”
She could not answer my question before the door burst open behind her. My mother’s furious eyes found mine immediately. She gripped the doorframe so tightly I thought she might rip it off the wall and throw it at my head.
“You,” she huffed out, “you filthy-”
“Lady Alyra,” lady Natily jumped in and placed her hands on her hips disapprovingly, “that is no way to speak to your child. Especially not when she is the queen’s own guest,”
My mother’s head reared back in surprise. she stood in contemplation for a few moments before a slow smirk crept up on her face. Sinister and cruel, I knew what it meant. I knew the mockery and insults that were coming. For it was true that my mother had spent years trying to win over the queen’s favour to little success. For her to hear that I had somehow curried it meant I had a lot to answer for.
“Oh, is that so?” she cocked her head to one side, crossing her arms over her chest, “tell me then daughter, what have you done to ensnare the royal family so?”
Shame flooded my body, washing over me in waves, mixed with confusion over why I was even feeling this way. I had done nothing to deserve this but the way she looked at me, talked down to me, hated me made me feel like I had done something wrong.
Lady Natily made a move to stand in front of me, shielding me from my mother’s gaze but I stopped her. Enough people had fought my battles already.
“Mother, like Lady Natily said, I have to move rooms, all will be discussed with you in due time. As I am sure you have heard, our family has been asked to stay in Kingslanding,” I said, trying to be brave.
“Insolent girl. I am your mother! If you think you can walk around these castle walls, philandering and disgracing me and not having the decency to face me head on, you are certainly mistaken,”
“I do not know what you are talking about,” just then, a crew of servants walked into the room to carry my things out saving me from further discussions, “I shall see you at dinner,”
I turned to Lady Natily who was trying, not so subtly, to hide a smile. A nod was enough to signal to her that I was ready to leave, and we walked around my mother to get out of the room. Before I could pass the threshold, her hand jutted out and tightly grabbed my wrist. The same one that had suffered under my father’s assault. Her grip was not as firm, but her nails dug into the inside of my wrist hard enough to puncture through the skin.
“Such a smart mouth for a girl who gave up her virtue to the plain-featured prince. You disgust me,” she whispered into my ear.
I turned my head to face her, our eyes only inches away from each other. The cunning smirk falling off her face, struggling to conceal the embarrassment beneath, “if you ever speak of him like that again-”
“What will you do huh? Tell me,”
I pulled my wrist out of her grip, held her gaze a few moments longer before I turned and left. I couldn’t breathe until we turned a corner and walked up a flight of stairs. Hoping an praying the room I was being moved to was further away from my parents so I could navigate the castle without ever running into them.
“For what its worth, I do not believe what they are saying about you,” lady Natily said. I stopped walking to look at her, my gaze filled with gratitude. The corners of her mouth lifted into the faintest slivers of a smile before she put on her stoic mask again, “only because I would not dare agree with that wretched mother of yours. Oh gods no! if she believes something to be true, it is obviously not,”
I chuckled and nodded. Something in me told me that was her way of saying she at least had taken a liking to me. We came to a stop in front of huge double door that were pulled open by a pair of guards. The room was spacious and clean and the open windows faced east allowing a wash of clear mid-morning sunlight to cover the whole room. But none of it mattered more than the man standing in the middle of it all with his hands behind his back. His fingers toyed with the rings he wore and he rolled his shoulders twice as if to make himself more comfortable.
When he heard us walk in, he turned to face us and we automatically curtsied.
“Your grace, I did not know you would be in here,” said Lady Natily, “this is to be Lady Valaena’s new room. As per your mother’s orders,”
“I know,” he said and then looked at me. My eyes found the floor immediately but not fast enough to avoid the shiver that overtook my whole body when he looked at me. “I picked it,”
My eyes met his in an instant. What could that possibly mean?
“Lady Natily, could you give us a moment, please,” he turned back to her, his voice honeyed and his eyes pleading.
“Now your grace, you know I cannot do that. It would be improper! Especially given your current predicament… I simply cannot,”
“Please, I only want to… apologise to my lady. I understand the optics, but you know me. You know what I stand for,” he said more firmly, “I only need but a few minutes,”
She looked at me, giving me a once over before sighing, “I shall go back to your old room to see if all your belongings have been cleared out,”
I nodded, still not able to find my words. She walked out, giving us a very stern look as she personally shut the door. The two of us stood in awkward silence for a few moments, neither us making a move to get closer to one another.
“So,” he cleared his throat, “I hear you talk to my father this morning,” he said.
“Yes I did. We had a very… insightful conversation.” I responded
“And what happened to your face?” he asked, motioning to the bruise that had already began fading on my cheek and the lacerated lip.
“It’s… It’s nothing,” I lied, knowing that if Maekar’s reaction was anything to go by, he too would be upset.
“Are you sure? It looks rather painful. Was it… was it your father?”
“Your Grace, please let’s not start this,” I said, not wanting to dwell on the topic any longer. Two people knowing was already more than enough. “What are you here to talk about?”
His jaw set he tried hard to bury the anger, but I could hear it seeping through as he spoke again, “Yes, your meeting with my father,” he reiterated.
“Oh… He asked me if I wanted to go live in Braavos.”
His eyes bulged in shock and his jaw slackened. “Surely you did not accept the proposition.”
“Why? Would you miss me if I left?” I joked but then had to look away. The look of sincerity that his eyes revealed unnerved me. It was raw and honest, saying far too much without his words saying anything at all.
“I believe I have gone through a great deal of trouble for you to just leave and run away,” he joked back. Wiping that look from his eyes.
We both chuckled uncomfortably before the silence enveloped us again. I stepped forward once. He did the same. The gap between us lessened.
“He also said something else,” I brought up hesitantly.
“And what was that?” he asked, stepping even closer, nearly eliminating the space.
“He said that… He said that you’re different when you’re around me,”
I saw his throat bob and for the briefest of seconds, I believe his eyes looked down at my lips and then back at my eyes. “Really? Different how?”
“He said that you say speak your mind… when it’s in relation to me,” I moved closer to him still, almost involuntarily.
“I can’t imagine where he would get that idea from,”
“So if I were to ask you, what you want right now… you would not tell me?”
“Of course I would. I will tell you anything. I never intend to lie to you,” he laughed nervously, as if to pass it off as a joke but something in his eyes betrayed him again.
“Okay then. Tell me. What do you want right now?”
Hesitantly, he obliterated the space between us, meeting my chest with his abdomen but not touching me. I tilted my head to look up at him and felt his heavy exhale on my face. His tongue so delicately wet his lips, I almost missed it. “I want to kiss you.” He finally said.
Words could not convey the intense feeling of desperation that overtook me. I parted my lips to try and come up with a response but I could not think of one. Not when he was looking at me the way he was. When he was, through his body telling me that he would not move until I showed that I wanted him to.
Before I could second guess myself, I reached u with my hand, slowly crawling over his chest, seeking refuge around his neck. He moved almost immediately, resting his hands gently on my waist. One shaky breath later, he lowered his head to capture my lips with his.
The difference between their softness and the pricklyness of his short beard sent a tingle down to all my extremities that had me curling my toes. His movements were firm and intentional and his hands hardened their grip on my waist, pulling me impossibly close. I could not tell whether the scorching feeling was coming from beneath my heavy dress or from his body but I chased it anyway. For a woman who had nothing to compare the kiss to, I had marked I as perfect already. His tongue swiped across my bottom lip and I felt my stomach clench. It was the most euphoric feeling I had ever experienced, if he were to break away in that moment I feared I would die on the spot.
My hands found his hair and my fingers entangled themselves in his short curls, trying to pull him closer to me, to deepen the kiss if possible. I felt him smile on my lips and all good sense left me. He liked it. Testing my theory, I tugged on his hair tighter and he moaned into the kiss. My breath caught in my throat, the reverberations coursing through me.
I pressed into him again but that seemed to have scared him because he abruptly pulled away and took a step back. The action shattering my heart. He touched his lips and looked at me, seemingly with remorse. My heartbreak turned into frustration.
“Baelor,” I said. The shock of me using his name without a title stunning both of us before I recovered quickly, “why-”
“I should leave,” he cut me off. His mask of calm long having slipped off.
“Yes,” I swallowed the emotions I could feel rising, “yes I think its best if you do,”
Baelor
It took every ounce of self-control I dd not know I possessed to close the door behind myself after I walked out on her. I could feel how fast my heart was beating based on the feel of blood thrumming through my veins. I felt oddly energized, as if somebody had infused a direct shot of lightning through my body.
I put my head back on the door to try and calm myself when I noted the tightness in my britches. That immediately had me standing straight and looking around to my surroundings. Luckily, nobody was present to witness my indignity. It was understandable that this hidden part of me was responding to her so, that the passion burning through me threatened to make me lose my senses. It was not like I was some inexperienced green boy, I had my fair share of romps since my coming of age. All of them due to Daemon insisting that 'as new men' we had to visit the brothels and pleasure houses in the city streets. It does not please me that my firs kiss was with a woman of the night. But she was kind to me and taught me what she claimed were the things women liked.
Perhaps that was the problem. My body was reacting so viscerally because I had not been with anyone who truly meant something to me until now. No matter, Valaena was my friend. I should be doing everything in power to help her situation, not confuse her with delusions of emotions neither of us were feeling.
“Your grace?” Lady Natily called out, having arrived with all the servants carrying Valaena’s bags, breaking me out of my train of thought.
I cleared my throat and stood up straighter, “good day my lady,” I said before breezing past her to get to my own chambers as quickly as possible
- ~
It was on nights like this that I understood Aerys’ disdain for public functions. There were still many guests leftover at the castle with the three long table stretching from the foot of the stairs leading up to the raised dais all the way to the main doors. Most thought if they stayed longer, they could have an audience with my father. Politic their way into getting him to sign some new law or decree or treaty. The banquet hall was packed but through all the crowds and noise, I saw her.
The Velaryons sat just at the foot of the dais closest to our main table. I noticed she sat on the left side of the table, beside her cousins rather than on the side that sat her parents. The sight had me clenching my fists to suppress my irritation. I knew there was friction between her and her parents based on how little she spoke of them. The account Maekar had given me of their encounter this morning providing me with more proof that neither of them deserved to even call her their daughter.
That reminded me that I was seated at my father’s right hand. I lowered my voice, even though I was sure nobody below our table could hear our conversations.
“ I heard you talked to Valaena this morning,"
“Yes, I did. We had a very insightful conversation,” Father replied.
“Yes, indeed, where you offered to send her to Braavos.”
My mother, to his left, paused her fork midway to her mouth. Her eyes narrowed. “You did what?” she asked.
Father gave a sheepish smile and shrugged. “It was not like I could force her to marry you.”
“I did not ask you to force her, but at the very least not to try to get her to leave the whole continent.”
He sighed deeply, resting his hands on his enlarged belly. “Baelor, listen to me-”
“No, I will not listen to you. All I asked for was your help. You gave me your blessing, so why would you try and turn it back now?”
“I did not turn back my blessing. I do approve of your marriage to Lady Valaena, but—”
I sighed and prepared myself to listen to his ridiculous excuse.
“I am your father, yes, but I am still the king. It is my responsibility to see to it that my subjects are happy, and if Lady Valaena has not accepted your marriage proposal by now, maybe she’s not happy with it. I was simply providing her with another alternative.”
That gave me pause. Valaena had been screaming that I was not thinking of her in all my plans. I did not regret jumping straight in to defend her from Gerion that night, but it cost her. And thereon I jumped straight into arranging our marriage. A decision which still, she was bearing the brunt of. With such a hefty proposal sitting on her, how could I have been so inconsiderate? “Do you really think she would be better off somewhere else than here with me?”
He simply smiled. I do not know why such a claim would amuse him.
“You really only hear what you want to hear, don’t you my son?” he replied.
“No… I mean... what does that have to do with anything,”
“Baelor my boy. The marriage was a good suggestion. A great one even. But it cannot work to dispel rumours all on its own. How do you expect her to agree to it if she does not feel your support and commitment to her in the present moment?”
His words resonated deeply with me, maybe due in part to the fact that I had drunk two goblets of wine and I was still floating on the ecstasy of the kiss but I was compelled to act upon them. Without giving myself chance to think through my actions, I stood straight up. Her head whipped towards me immediately, as if she knew it was me whose chair had scratched the stone floor.
I took two deep breaths before turning away from her. When I finally raised my goblet and tapped on it with my fork, all eyes in the room were on me. This was something that should have been done the previous night but I could not bring myself to sit in the same room as her when she was so angry at me. Still, I cleared my throat to speak.
“It is a pleasure to have you all here, to celebrate with my family and I. I am… truly honoured that you all travelled so far across the kingdom to accept my invitation. Thank you all,” I said. It was hard to force my eyes to avert her gaze, but I stood firm. “these past few days we have clanged steel, danced to the sounds of dragons into the deep night, drank our weight in Lysene wine,” that earned a chuckle from the crowd, “and we have mingled and bonded, which some would say is the most important part of such celebrations. Without each other’s camaraderie, we are nothing. One could not have wished for a better nameday celebration,” I smiled sheepishly which earned a round of cheering from the crowd. I knew I had them.
When the cheering died down, with my shy smile still on display, I continued, “and still… I found myself wanting for more. The act of sending out ravens to each corner of the realm, spending more money than my father was willing to part with and training till my appendages nearly fell off was grueling. Some would say it was all for naught but frivolousness and vanity, others ego and pompousness,"
A laugh collectively rang out
“As one who does not particularly allow himself the indulgences of a celebration such as this, I questioned whether it was wise to put myself through it.” More laughter allowed me to pause and let the words sink in. my eyes strayed for just a second. Her brows were furrowed in confusion as to what my end goal was.
“However, the anticipation of just partaking in a single conversation, gazing upon a single pair of eyes, dancing with a single soul kept me up on the nights leading up to the celebration. Perhaps it is why I fought with much more vigour than I would have under normal circumstances. Apologies to all I met in the lists, but I do believe you would do the same if you wished to impress one worth impressing,” I said at this point battling creeping nervousness because I could feel her eyes in particular burning into the side of my face.
“Unfortunately, as your prince, there are certain indulgences I cannot partake in. Other people tend to suffer for my unscrupulousness. I mean who is to say a single walk with me in the dark would not result in one’s reputation being ruined by morning?” I added a short chuckle at the end which was returned by some.
The people who had caught on did not laugh.
“Many of you have asked me what my greatest wish was on this nameday. Let it be known that I only wish is to know what could have been, had our truth, the only truth, been believed. I pray that even as some of you return to your keeps, your hearts shall remain steadfast against all the whispers shared at your expense, and the temptation to whisper without accountability,”
By this time it was easy to spot who was taking my speech at face value, who was utterly lost to my actual point, and who was ashamed for partaking in the whispering which I condemned.
“To peace and understanding,” I finally raised my cup.
“To peace and understanding!” the hall echoed.
I chanced one more glance at her. She raised her glass to me before wiping away a tear.