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Just Tea, Said the Liars (A Date, Your Honor) by the_untamed_poet25
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
28 Jun 2026
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Summary
At a nearby table outside, a Melusine named Pip had climbed onto the back of a bench to get a better view.
“Do you think they’ll kiss?” she whispered to Clorinde.
“They don’t even know they’re on a date,” Clorinde hissed back. “They think this is a committee meeting.”
Pip frowned. “Are they always like this?”
Navia leaned over the table, an entire organizational binder of “Intervention Protocols for Romantically Repressed Men” open in her lap. “This is advanced-stage oblivious. I’ve seen rocks with more self-awareness.”
Charlotte looked up from her surveillance sketchpad—yes, she was sketching this. For posterity. “I’ve got a shot of Wriothesley staring at Neuvillette’s hands like they hold the answers to the universe.”
“They do,” said Clorinde grimly.
In which two deeply repressed men share tea, an umbrella, and several near-fatal amounts of yearning while all of Fontaine loses its collective mind.
Series
- Part 42 of Wriolette / Neuvithesley Oneshots
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
01 Jul 2026
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Summary
Diluc and Kaeya have to keep in touch. Literally.
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
30 Jun 2026
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"What?" the man continues. "Never heard one of your test subjects talk before, doctor?"
And, well, it's not quite that, exactly, because of course this isn't the first time one of his test subjects has spoken to him while on the gurney… it's just that typically, they're wide-eyed and frantic, wasting every ounce of their remaining strength to pointlessly plead for him and his segments to spare their lives.
And yet, this man is different.
He lies strapped to an operating table beneath the cold, clinical gaze and scalpel of the infamously insane second Harbinger, slowly dying of a stab wound, and yet he remains impossibly calm, the ghost of a smile on his lips and his voice smooth as velvet.
How peculiar.
"It's a shame we have to kill this one," 35 remarks. "I find that I quite like him."
Alternatively: A report spanning 380 years, beginning in a laboratory where people go to die. Here is the story of a so-called doctor and the man who is his longest-running experiment.
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
22 Jun 2026
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Summary
Pantalone scoffs. "What's your favorite part then, hmm?"
"When Vodyanitsa's character dies, of course."
"Ah. Naturally."
It is truly a shame that Pierro had the foresight to order the Harbingers to be civil to one another for the duration of the show. If he hadn't, the issue of Sandrone's present company would have been dealt with by the end of the first act. "Has it ever occurred to either of you," she mutters, "that not everyone has seen this play before?"
Pantalone hums lightly. "Opera, actually."
Sandrone is going to kill him.
Alternatively: Sandrone has the misfortune of being seated next to Dottore and Pantalone at the opera. It is perhaps the most horrendous three hours of her entire career.
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
21 Jun 2026
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Summary
“Announcement from ‘25’: A 359-year-old male patient has been admitted. He has been suspected poisoning within the past twelve hours. The patient is experiencing nausea, frothing at the mouth, and has suffered seizures and lost consciousness en route. His blood pressure has dropped to 80/50. Initial intubation is underway... It’s just me and ‘8’ here! Where the hell is everyone else?! Hurry up and get here!!”
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
15 Jun 2026
