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Just Tea, Said the Liars (A Date, Your Honor) by the_untamed_poet25
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
28 Jun 2026
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At a nearby table outside, a Melusine named Pip had climbed onto the back of a bench to get a better view.
“Do you think they’ll kiss?” she whispered to Clorinde.
“They don’t even know they’re on a date,” Clorinde hissed back. “They think this is a committee meeting.”
Pip frowned. “Are they always like this?”
Navia leaned over the table, an entire organizational binder of “Intervention Protocols for Romantically Repressed Men” open in her lap. “This is advanced-stage oblivious. I’ve seen rocks with more self-awareness.”
Charlotte looked up from her surveillance sketchpad—yes, she was sketching this. For posterity. “I’ve got a shot of Wriothesley staring at Neuvillette’s hands like they hold the answers to the universe.”
“They do,” said Clorinde grimly.
In which two deeply repressed men share tea, an umbrella, and several near-fatal amounts of yearning while all of Fontaine loses its collective mind.
Series
- Part 42 of Wriolette / Neuvithesley Oneshots
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
01 Jul 2026
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Diluc and Kaeya have to keep in touch. Literally.
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
30 Jun 2026
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"What?" the man continues. "Never heard one of your test subjects talk before, doctor?"
And, well, it's not quite that, exactly, because of course this isn't the first time one of his test subjects has spoken to him while on the gurney… it's just that typically, they're wide-eyed and frantic, wasting every ounce of their remaining strength to pointlessly plead for him and his segments to spare their lives.
And yet, this man is different.
He lies strapped to an operating table beneath the cold, clinical gaze and scalpel of the infamously insane second Harbinger, slowly dying of a stab wound, and yet he remains impossibly calm, the ghost of a smile on his lips and his voice smooth as velvet.
How peculiar.
"It's a shame we have to kill this one," 35 remarks. "I find that I quite like him."
Alternatively: A report spanning 380 years, beginning in a laboratory where people go to die. Here is the story of a so-called doctor and the man who is his longest-running experiment.
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
22 Jun 2026
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Pantalone scoffs. "What's your favorite part then, hmm?"
"When Vodyanitsa's character dies, of course."
"Ah. Naturally."
It is truly a shame that Pierro had the foresight to order the Harbingers to be civil to one another for the duration of the show. If he hadn't, the issue of Sandrone's present company would have been dealt with by the end of the first act. "Has it ever occurred to either of you," she mutters, "that not everyone has seen this play before?"
Pantalone hums lightly. "Opera, actually."
Sandrone is going to kill him.
Alternatively: Sandrone has the misfortune of being seated next to Dottore and Pantalone at the opera. It is perhaps the most horrendous three hours of her entire career.
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
21 Jun 2026
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“Announcement from ‘25’: A 359-year-old male patient has been admitted. He has been suspected poisoning within the past twelve hours. The patient is experiencing nausea, frothing at the mouth, has suffered seizures and lost consciousness en route. His blood pressure has dropped to 80/50. Initial intubation is underway... It’s only me and ‘8’ here! Where the hell is everyone else?! Hurry up and get here!!”
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
15 Jun 2026
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Anomalous Tree Marrow inspired
Four times Feofan wondered, "How is it possible to seduce Il Dottore?" and one time, he got seduced himself.Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
14 Jun 2026
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“Oh,” Dottore marvels, “oh. You are….”
Pantalone holds his breath, waits it out. “Who are you, my dear Pantalone?”
He rolls his tongue along his thumb, lets the flavor of his blood bloom in his mouth. “Vampire.”
Or, wherein Pantalone finds himself without a blood donor the week he is meant to feed. Drastic times call for drastic measures.
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
14 Jun 2026
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Name, age and ambition, please by UndercityRat
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
12 Jun 2026
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The first time Pantalone met the harbingers, it was at his inauguration.
Most of them would look at him and see a man who owns everything. A man who holds the world in his palm. A man of slim stature and soft features who must have never done a hard day's labor in his life.
Despite how believable that may seem, it could not be further from the truth. In reality things were much less comfortable and a good bit more bloody.
Or: my interpretation of Dottore and Feofans first meeting.
Series
- Part 1 of Rats dottlone fics post 6.6
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
13 Jun 2026
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Pre-Opened Bottles Are Not Gestures of Trust by drzealous
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
11 Jun 2026
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In which Pantalone accepts a drink from a Fontainian diplomat who definitely tried to kill him, waits five days to seek medical attention because the quarterly reports weren't going to file themselves, and proceeds to say things on an operating table that the Segments will spend the next century thinking about.
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
12 Jun 2026
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There Is No Honey In This Laboratory by drzealous
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
09 Jun 2026
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There are six versions of Dottore and not a single one of them knows how to say I care about you without wrapping it in an equation, a budget report, or a cup of tea they claim they made by accident
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
10 Jun 2026
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- Words:
- 9,733
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 12
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
10 Jun 2026
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Pantalone discovers he is allergic to his favorite sweater. Then, he demands Dottore fix it.
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Inspired by the Anomalous Tree Marrow 1 entry about Pantalone's allergy to alpaca wool where Dottore canonically makes him not allergic to alpaca wool anymore. Yeah.
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
01 Jun 2026
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A few of the many times the Regrator finds himself in the Doctor's care.
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
23 May 2026
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Diluc ends up grievously injured during his very first mission as Cavalry Captain while protecting Kaeya from what would have been a fatal attack. Kaeya, naturally, blames himself for letting this happen, but he has to set that aside when Diluc blames himself even more and begins to panic about how their father will react.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,856
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 10
- Kudos:
- 165
- Bookmarks:
- 23
- Hits:
- 873
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
01 Apr 2026
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Almost two years after Diluc’s departure from Mondstadt, Kaeya gets drunk, mixes up his letters, and accidentally sends Diluc the first draft of his suicide note – but he doesn’t realise his mistake until Diluc appears on his doorstep less than a week later, as if he’d never left.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,560
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 48
- Kudos:
- 1,179
- Bookmarks:
- 217
- Hits:
- 12,424
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
31 Mar 2026
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The person in front of them put a shaky, mechanical hand on the doorway to support himself, looking weak and exhausted from walking even such a short distance. Now that he’d come out of the dark doom, his face was recognizable as that of none other than Crepus Ragnvindr himself.
Or something or someone wearing his face, anyway.
Crepus Ragnvindr was dead.
And yet what Kaeya and Diluc saw in front of them would suggest otherwise.
‘Hey, Diluc…’ Kaeya breathed out, unable to tear his eyes away. ‘You see him too, don’t you?’
‘Yeah.’ Diluc whispered, finding it equally impossible.
‘Two people don’t usually hallucinate the same thing at the same time, do they?’
‘Shut up.’
Kaeya did, if only because the piercing gaze of those familiar eyes was boring into him. He felt frozen in place, unable to do a thing.
‘I kind of…need a hand here.’ Crepus brought out, his voice raspy almost as if hadn’t used it in, let’s say, almost five years.
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Or: Il Dottore is a madman who conducts morally dubious experiments...but if that means their dead father doesn't actually turn out to be dead after all, maybe Kaeya and Diluc are willing to ignore that. Maybe.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,462
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 38
- Kudos:
- 1,481
- Bookmarks:
- 270
- Hits:
- 12,960
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
26 Mar 2026
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man is mortal, but that would be only half the trouble by birdsofpassage
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
12 Nov 2020
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“Was that a confession?” Childe brings his hands up to his face. His head hurts from where it had slammed against the ground. “Because that was unromantic as fuck. I want a redo.”
Childe is the most unreliable narrator in the world, especially when the story keeps taking him by surprise.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,401
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 257
- Kudos:
- 3,291
- Bookmarks:
- 623
- Hits:
- 27,881
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
04 Mar 2026
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Diluc wakes a week before his birthday thinking, I will be the same age as my father was when he died.
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
03 Mar 2026
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At the back of the cramped cell is Kaeya. He’s sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest, his head hanging low to obscure his face, trying to make himself as small as possible. Diluc’s heart clenches painfully: if anyone has laid so much as a finger—
Kaeya looks up at his approach and immediately his face breaks out into a blood-boiling smirk. “Hello, come here often, handsome?”
Diluc stops, spins on his heel, and makes for the door.
“Wait, wait!” Kaeya laughs, “I’m sorry, please rescue me!”
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
02 Mar 2026
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Summary
Kaeya never hid his mark. It was as bold and on display as was every other piece of him, in full view of anyone who chose to glance his way. Diluc was envious of his bravery. He, on the other hand, had hid his mark his entire life.
(A soulmate AU where each bears a mark that transmits touch between those bonded)
Bookmarked by MerlynTheCat
19 Feb 2026