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Roy folds his arms, glaring. "All right, what the fuck is going on here? Why have you suddenly decided to fancy me?"
"I haven't suddenly decided, I've always fancied you. Just didn't know until today that you'd be up for it."
Roy reminds himself sternly that he cannot murder their star striker the day before a match. "Just because I'm interested in blokes doesn't mean I'm interested in you."
Jamie looks confused. "It doesn't? But..." He gestures at his face as if it's incontrovertible evidence, then down his body like a closing argument.
Roy cannot murder him. The media would be intolerable.
Bookmarked by uptownfunk
25 Jul 2026
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Tom was pretty certain that the whole no room at the inn thing only happened in either fanfiction or the Bible; now, it's fucking happening to him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,250
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 55
- Kudos:
- 1,512
- Bookmarks:
- 145
- Hits:
- 15,997
Bookmarked by uptownfunk
13 Jul 2026
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Jude asks Haaland to top him—needless to say, they’re both unprepared for Jude's first time bottoming.
Bookmarked by uptownfunk
12 Jul 2026
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The aftermath of their win against Brazil is unlike anything Erling has ever dared dream of. There's rowing and drinking and endless public celebrations, but Erling's personal favourite is having Jude Bellingham in his bed, squared away in a Miami hotel room.
Ready and willing and his for the taking.
Series
Bookmarked by uptownfunk
12 Jul 2026
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Erling Haaland is not nervous about Brazil.
No, what's much more nerve-wracking is seeing Jude Bellingham standing in front of him, shy and uncertain, and so unfairly gorgeous.
Series
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you're free to have everything you can see by FroyoBoyo
Fandoms: 타인은 지옥이다 | Strangers From Hell (TV)
03 Jun 2026
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"You couldn't be like this with anyone else. Nobody could take it."
Not like I do.
It goes unspoken, but it lands in the tiny gap between their writhing bodies, an uncomfortable weight.
Or; Moonjo tries to convince Jongwoo of something they both already know.
Series
- Part 3 of Mjjw soup
Bookmarked by uptownfunk
03 Jun 2026
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Harvey picks up Mike in the pilot instead of Miss Eat-It-Off-My-Stomach. Mike isn't easy, in any sense beyond the obvious.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 11,424
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 211
- Kudos:
- 9,712
- Bookmarks:
- 1,630
- Hits:
- 130,931
Bookmarked by uptownfunk
25 May 2026
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Suits Meme Fill: During a case it comes out that Mike has never had sex, which causes Harvey to develop a slight obsession.
EDIT June 2026: I do not know where all of you are coming from in TWENTY TWENTY SIX but thanks for the kudos
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,295
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 142
- Kudos:
- 11,335
- Bookmarks:
- 1,697
- Hits:
- 162,771
Bookmarked by uptownfunk
25 May 2026
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When Tom had decided to skim through the employee emails, he hadn’t expected to find people speculating about him and Greg.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,841
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 157
- Kudos:
- 2,108
- Bookmarks:
- 230
- Hits:
- 23,801
Bookmarked by uptownfunk
10 May 2026
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Summary
“Indeed, she does have some mouth on her,” Rookwood purrs. “But I’m sure we could put it to much better use.”
Some part of Sharp screams: He’s taunting you, searching your limits, fishing for the right leverage. Don’t fall for it, it’s a ploy to get you talking. A tactic he himself often used in interrogation. He never knew it would work on him, though, and suddenly he finds himself feeling like a fly caught in a honey-trap, and between the swirling mass of images from the morning still stuck in his mind, Rookwood’s perfume still lodged in his nose, and the memory of her body pressed into his, the thing that comes out of his mouth is, “We?”
Rookwood grins, sly, victorious. He shrugs.
“I don’t mind sharing.”
Or: A girl with ancient magic bubbling beneath her skin, a Potions Professor plagued by pain and unfulfilled ambitions, and a dark wizard thirsting for revenge find themselves tangled in a deal neither of them wants, but everyone profits from. -
and i spit out the seeds by linearity
Fandoms: Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Heated Rivalry (TV)
30 Oct 2025
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Summary
A video of Shane sucking Ilya’s dick is leaked. Over the next twenty-four hours, Ilya goes on an odyssey.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,200
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 1,877
- Kudos:
- 62,807
- Bookmarks:
- 14,993
- Hits:
- 713,371
Bookmarked by uptownfunk
28 Feb 2026
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All I Have Left of Her by sungoddessra
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery
23 Oct 2018
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Why Charlie never got married
Bookmarked by uptownfunk
07 Feb 2026
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George sees you getting a little too comfortable with another boy. He decides to show you who you belong to.
Bookmarked by uptownfunk
07 Feb 2026
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She’d heard rumors. Mostly comments made in jest about how the twins would do everything together if they could, even bedding girls. Both of them absolutely ravishing someone. Twice the groping, twice the kissing. Twice the pleasure.
Series
- Part 1 of Follyamory
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Summary
The New Fifth Year never comes along, and a transgender Sebastian Sallow struggles to save his sister.
“First things first,” Rookwood said, vanishing his cigar before leaning in towards Sebastian, his voice then dropping to a low purr. “What’s in it for me?”
WARNING: In addition to my typical dark and disturbing themes, this story features many instances of the willful invalidation of gender identity.
Bookmarked by uptownfunk
26 Jan 2026
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You manage to take out an entire Poacher camp, save for one man. The Poacher Executioner is a little more than you bargained for.
“You're lucky you're not a wizard... I would have snapped your neck already if you were.”
Rape (not the fun kind). No use of Y/N or MC but you are MC.
☠🕊Series
Bookmarked by uptownfunk
25 Jan 2026
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Summary
💀 Poacher Stalker x You (F!Listener) / MC
You've been caught in a bandit camp and Macnair (Poacher Stalker) has been assigned to stand watch over you.
You're bound, gagged, and helpless, but where's the fun in just leaving you be?
"I'll have you squealin' like a little pig in no time."
Rape/NC - DARK & DISTURBING THEMES!
No use of Y/N or MC but you are MCSeries
- Part 12 of Dark Wizards Compilation - Hogwarts Legacy
Bookmarked by uptownfunk
25 Jan 2026
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Slythering In by octivate226699 (irrationaltide) for LadyElspeth
Fandoms: Hogwarts Legacy (Video Game)
01 Jan 2026
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Summary
Ominis and Sebastian are assigned to figure out happy memories to help them produce a Patronus charm.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,136
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 3
- Kudos:
- 34
- Bookmarks:
- 4
- Hits:
- 258
Bookmarked by uptownfunk
24 Jan 2026
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Mine, Only Mine by octivate226699 (irrationaltide) for LadyElspeth
Fandoms: Hogwarts Legacy (Video Game)
01 Jan 2026
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Summary
Sebastian follows Ominis clothes shopping and witnesses something abhorrent.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,247
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 7
- Kudos:
- 23
- Bookmarks:
- 3
- Hits:
- 506
Bookmarked by uptownfunk
24 Jan 2026
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Magic Sparks by octivate226699 (irrationaltide) for HoldMyMallowsweet
Fandoms: Hogwarts Legacy (Video Game)
02 Jan 2026
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Summary
Professor Sebastian Sallow runs into a student of his using a forbidden curse.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,138
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 10
- Kudos:
- 17
- Bookmarks:
- 2
- Hits:
- 189
Bookmarked by uptownfunk
24 Jan 2026