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"Hey, Kazuma?"
Subaru spoke, breaking the previously silent atmosphere of the school's rooftop.The two of them, Subaru and Kazuma, sat against the chain link fence, close enough that their arms were pressed up against the other's.
After the whole incident with Subaru and his messed up ability, he and Kazuma had began to get closer with each other. Kazuma wasn't sure how their friendship had escalated so speedily, but it was likely related to said incident. After all, it was a pretty vulnerable moment for Subaru at the time.
That, and Kazuma had given him a lap pillow after the raven haired boy fainted. Maybe that had an affect or some sort. He wasn't sure.
Basically, they'd started to hang out more. But it didn't just feel like their relationship had only improved like that, though Kazuma just couldn't quite recognize how their bond had changed.
Up until this moment, they were sitting in a silence that Kazuma surprisingly didn't mind for some reason. The sensations of the gentle afternoon breeze sweeping through his brown hair, sunlight warming his face, and being next to Subaru was a lot more than enough for him to feel satisfied.
Kazuma decided not to think about the last one. That was beginning to become a complicated situation already, so he'd rather not think about it until the last possible moment.
"Yep, I'm Kazuma. What's up?"
Subaru hesitated for a moment, turning his gaze towards Kazuma. There was an edge of guilt in his eyes, though he spoke with only a sheepish look,
"About the other day, just wanted to say thank you, and I'm sorry." He paused, turning to see Kazuma's confused expression staring back at him.
"You know, for putting all of that onto you so suddenly."
Kazuma shifted, subconsciously leaning closer to Subaru. He shrugged, "You're good man. Theres no need to apologize."
Subaru seemed surprised at the other boy getting closer. He turned his head away for whatever reason, clearing his throat, "Still, I wasn't in the best state when talking about-" He froze out of instinct, wincing like he was almost expecting a shadowy hand to come out of nowhere, to squeeze his or—the more likely yet worse option— crush Kazuma's heart.
"Return by Death?" Kazuma finished Subaru's sentence for him, his eyes softening within an expression much too casual for the topic at hand. The edges of his lips twitched down at seeing how clearly distressed Subaru was just at the mere mention of his ability.
'Of course he's worried! Speaking of his power has consequences if you somehow managed to forget!'
The adventurer shook his head, suddenly narrowing his eyes at Subaru, "Hey, are you saying sorry because you had a reaction after dying a buncha times? That seems like a fairly normal reaction to me."
Letting out a hum, Subaru nodded, a soft, breath escaping his lips as he tilted his head, "Ah, well. I still feel kinda bad about it, but if its fine with you..." He didn't seem to truly take Kazuma's words to heart, but at least Kazuma had tried.
"Well, in any case," The raven haired boy fully turned to face Kazuma, a much more sincere smile painted onto his face. Out of nowhere he grabbed the other tracksuit-clad protagonists's hands, grinning at him in a way that almost felt fake.
"I'm glad it was you."
An awkward silence stretched between the two, both staring at each other with frozen expressions, though Subaru's face still adorned the stupid grin.
"EH?!" Kazuma practically screamed, his brain catching up to the events around him. He could feel heat rushing up to his cheeks in the back of his mind, choosing to ignore the sense, "H-hey! Don't go around saying crap like that! It's super embarrassing you know!"
Subaru chuckled, pulling his hands away—leaving Kazuma's hands with an oddly cold feeling— to scratch the back of his head, the smile on his face just barely apologetic enough.
"Sorry, sorry! But it's still true! I'm not sure how the others would react knowing how, uh...interesting, some of our classmates are."
Crossing his arms, Kazuma nodded, sounding exasperated, "Yeah that makes sense. You and I are the only normal guys in a place full of weirdos...Plus I'm also pretty closely acquainted with dying, so that's probably a factor as well..."
"Ehh, that's not exactly how I'd-" Subaru cut himself off, eyes widening into a disturbed look, "H-hold on, what do you mean closely acquainted with-?"
In a sudden change of mood once again, he sighed, shoulders which had tensed up quickly relaxing with relief, "Oh, right, I almost forgot you were reincarnated...Heh, my bad."
"How do you forget about something like that!?"
Subaru animatedly gestured towards Kazuma with one hand, pointing as himself with the other, "I didn't!" He objected, "That's why I said 'almost'!"
Kazuma deadpanned, "Uh-huh, sure." The adventurer's thoughts began to wander off, towards memories not necessarily pleasant, "My reincarnation, huh?"
A sour look crossed Kazuma's face, mouth twisting down to a grimace as if he'd swallowed something bitter. While he usually didn't think about his initial death—there was much more important things to do all the time—the bad taste remained the same each time that he ended up being reminded of it.
Tilting his head, Subaru watched the displeased expression on his friend's face. He frowned, "Do you want to-" But before he could even finish his question—which Kazuma could guess regardless—he stopped. Talking about dying was horrifying, despite how relieving it had been to get such a weight off of his chest, it wasn't easy. Of course Subaru would gladly listen to what Kazuma wanted to say, but asking someone to reveal such a vulnerable thing direct just felt wrong.
Kazuma sighed, pulling his knees closer to his chest. "I guess, but I'm not explaining everything, got it?" Frankly, he would much rather not talk about his death in Japan at all. Frustration bubbled up within him, a feeling that had never gone away when the matter was his death. He couldn't talk to his party about it, or well, anyone else for that matter. Not in a way such as Subaru's taboo, but more so because of the people around him.
Explaining that he'd reincarnated to Megumin and Darkness seemed impossible even though they'd seen him die and get revived multiple times. And Aqua...
...would definitely laugh at him.
So what if he vented out his frustrations for once? And it would probably make Subaru feel better about the other day anyway, so it all worked out.
He leaned backwards, staring up at the sky with a dull expression and an even more dull voice, "Back in Japan there was this game that'd recently come out. I went out to buy but on my way back I saw a girl that was about to get hit by a truck. So, I pushed her out of the way..."
A shadow fell over Kazuma's face, his usually bright eyes dimmed as he talked, "...But there wasn't a truck at all..."
"Apparently even my parents were laughing at me." Frustration laced Kazuma's words like poison. There was a bitter feeling in his chest that even after this much time wouldn't go away. "Gah! What kind of person laughs at that?!"
Sighing again, Kazuma lowered his head, brushing his hair out of his eyes, "That's basically the gist of it at least. I'd rather not think about that sort of stuff often." The monotonous voice he'd been using made way for a forced tone Kazuma often used.
"Kazuma-"
"It's fine, there's a reason they say 'Out of sight, out of mind' you know." He crossed his arms, furrowing his brows in order to try and find something to steer the topic away from himself, "Hey, actually that reminds me, have you told the others about your curse? The others from your world, I mean. Not the class."
Subaru didn't miss the way Kazuma instantly changed topics. He decided not to push it, mostly for Kazuma's sake as the adventurer clearly (and understandably) wanted to stop talking about it.
"Ahh, no...I don't think they'd react well, I don't want this to cause more problems than it's worth, yeah?" He forced out a laugh, leaning back on the chain-link fence once again.
Frowning, Kazuma watched the way Subaru delibaretly began to avoid his gaze after that. He shrugged, staring at the other boy regardless, "It's your choice man. I get it." Kazuma uncrossed his arms, clasping his hands behind his head, "They don't seem like the type to me," He said, popping the 'p' sound, "But if you're worried that they'll react badly, then just don't tell em."
'Though I think they'd all just go and shower you with affection instead...' Went unspoken in Kazuma's head, a bitter pang of jealousy hitting his heart at the thought, though not for the reasons Kazuma would insist they were.
"Of course, you know them better than I do, so it circles back to you again."
Subaru, still staring directly away from Kazuma, shifted in place uncomfortably, "I do want to tell them, really! And it's not that I think they'd react badly to the curse, not the way you're thinking at least...Eventually the question of how I've died is going to get brought up, and I don't think I can avoid answering it forever."
"Eh?" Kazuma leaned over, closer to the mean eyed boy. He ignored the way his heart skipped a beat at the even closer proximity, tilting his head thoughtfully, "You're worried that talking about your deaths is going to cause issues, but not talking about the ability itself?"
"But that doesn't make sense, unless..."
Subaru slowly turned to look at Kazuma, a slightly worried expression finding it's way onto his face. Mean eyes met Kazuma's widening ones, the brown haired adventurer staring at Subaru with something akin to disbelief in his expression.
"H-hey come on, it's not a big deal, right? I mean it technically never happened, so I can't hold them accountable for stuff they didn't do..."
"Wait, hold on, so they've really...?" Kazuma trailed off, a light but nauseating feeling churning in his gut.
"...Uh, yeah." Subaru admitted, "Seriously though, I'm not holding any grudges. I mean, it's not like there's anything to hold a grudge over. Plus it'd be...I don't know, weird to start doing so now!"
With a heavy sigh, enough for him to deflate slightly, Kazuma fully sat next to his fellow isekaid protagonist. He pushed his brown locks back, closing his eyes for a moment.
"Geez dude..." Kazuma sighed, sucking in a breath through his teeth. His emerald eyes narrowed, barely containing the horror seeping into his bones, "That's real messed up."
It was actually a lot more than just messed up. Kazuma had half a mind to grab the other boy by the shoulders and shake him, to ask him why he was still hanging around people that had murdered him before.
Of course, this was Natsuki Subaru he was talking about. He truly was an amazing guy, albeit much too forgiving for his own good. Annoyingly stubborn as well, Kazuma had gathered, so he wouldn't let Kazuma change his mind about this sort of thing.
Er, well, and he made Kazuma's heart beat faster every time he thought of the raven haired boy, but that was another matter entirely.
Subaru let out a quiet sound of acknowledgment, deliberately refusing to fully reject the other boy's words. Kazuma couldn't tell if that was just him brushing off the things he'd said or not, though he probably wouldn't have pushed further into it either way.
They continued to sit on the rooftop, an uncomfortable silence worming it's way between the two of them. Kazuma stole a quick glance towards Subaru, unsure of how to get rid of the thick, heavy atmosphere that, at this point, he could probably cut through it with Chunchunmaru.
Kazuma took a breath, running ideas on what to say through his head. He could've said anything, really, but he didn't want to make things even more awkward. (Though realistically, he'd most likely end up doing that regardless...)
Luckily for him, Subaru seemed to have the same idea.
"...I think that's probably enough of that talk for today, don't you agree Kazuma? Let's talk about something else, okay?"
Ehh...Well, that was pretty much exactly what Kazuma was going to do...
"Yep, yep, absolutely." Kazuma internally thanked Subaru for the unintentional assist. Now he had a lot more room to work with when it came to changing topics.
Kazuma put a hand on his chin, racking his brain for a few moments before a sudden glint appeared in his eyes, "Oh, hey, there's this place that apparently sells some really good meat skewers. You wanna check 'em out together after school?" He kept his tone light, betraying the uncomfortably intense feeling in his stomach caused for whatever reason by the sole prospect of asking Subaru to go with him.
Subaru paused, leaving Kazuma nervous (Nervous? Why?) for the few moments until he spoke that felt torturously long for the adventurer.
"Just us, together?" The raven haired boy questioned, humming thoughtfully, "Hey, Kazuma?"
"Yep, I'm Kazuma."
"Are you asking me out? On a date?"
'...Staaaaaare.'
"Eh?" Kazuma blinked, eyes widening, "EHHH?!"
"WHY'S THAT YOUR FIRST THOUGHT??!" He screeched, suddenly standing up. He covered his reddened face with both hands, blushing furiously whether it was out of embarrassment or for another reason.
"Oh, so it's not a date then...?"
Opening his mouth, Kazuma readied himself to agree, to say that it wasn't a date. But there was something in Subaru's voice, like a stifled disappointment, that made him stop and hesitate.
Was this a date? A date was when two people when out...romantically. Kazuma and Subaru were two people, but they didn't have anything romantic between each other, right...?
Well, Kazuma didn't know if he'd mind if it was a date. Subaru was...Different. Kazuma had always felt closer to him than the others, mostly because, well, he was like him. They were both shut-ins (no matter how much Kazuma wanted to deny it) who were isekaid'd. They'd both went through hardships in their new worlds, when everything they'd thought they'd known said that a new world would be a better place.
Oh, right, they'd both died as well.
That sense of being able to relate to someone was what had brought them to stick around each other and even closer.
Subaru was someone that Kazuma was able to be vulnerable with, as surprising as it was to the brown haired boy. Even though he would never admit it, Kazuma cared about his party, but that sort of vulnerability was something he only could feel when it was Subaru. And the same went for Subaru as well, Kazuma was the only one who knew of Subaru's abilities. The only one who saw that side of Subaru.
So, maybe he would actually like to consider this a date. He just had to make sure not to miss this opportunity.
Kazuma stopped covering his face, placing a hand on his chin and tilting his head in what was most likely supposed to be a charming manner. He smirked, narrowing his eyes and pointing at Subaru with his unoccupied hand.
"Do you want it to be?"
Subaru blinked, staring blankly at Kazuma for a few moments before he began to snicker. His lips twisted into a soft grin as he laughed, all the while trying to reassure an extremely embarrassed Kazuma, who was frozen in the same state.
"Hah-haha-! S-sorry, I'm not laughing at you, really! Heh- it's just the face that you made-heh..."
He sighed, quickly getting himself to calm down as to not embarrass Kazuma further. Subaru looked up at the other boy with a a smile, light pink dusting his cheeks faintly before he finally stood up, facing Kazuma.
"Sorry about that. I'd like that a lot actually."
"..."
"HOLD ON! So you're seriously coming, right?!" Kazuma shouted, surprise hidden beneath the layers of his voice, still pointing at Subaru.
"Haa? Of course, what kind of person do you take me for?!"
"I was just making sure you weren't being an idiot and joking around." He crossed his arms with an sigh, blushing, "This sort of event is way too important to be brushed off, so I had to check if you were serious."
"Being an idiot!?" Clutching his chest, where his heart was, Subaru leaned backwards, an exaggerated pout on his face, "Gah! That really hurts my fragile heart! I'm your date, aren't you supposed to be nice to me?!"
"W-well!" Kazuma stuttered out through gritted teeth, his face heating up even more. A metaphor about ovens appeared in his thoughts for a moment, though he quickly brushed it away placing his hands on his hips, "Don't you think it's way worse to lie? I'm an honest person, you know!"
"Somehow that feels more insulting..."
The sound of a melody ringing throughout the school caught both of their attentions, a reminder to go back to their classroom lest they wanted to face the reprimands and consequences of being late again. Of course, it certainly didn't help that their teacher was Roswaal of all people...
"Whatever." Kazuma said, moving towards the door of the rooftop, "Just make sure you keep your word, okay? I won't wait that long if you don't show up!"
That was a lie. Kazuma would wait for a while for Subaru to show up before he gave up. Subaru didn't need to know such a detail though.
Subaru could only stare in silence as Kazuma unceremoniously left the rooftop, tilting his head in confusion.
"Waiting? We're in the same class...After school couldn't we just go together?"