Chapter Text
The sun was scorching hot, I have been sweating for over 3 hours straight. This heat CANNOT be healthy... This was so weird because for the few days before this, it was basically storming. Now it's heat that is trying to practically melt us now? I was about to pass out.
I reached to grab the window handle to let some air in, I almost fell down, until, Felix grabbed onto my waist and pulled me closer towards him. "Chrissy you need to be a bit more careful! I aint always gonna be here to save your clumsy ass." He cried playfully but in a teasing way.
"Felix it is way too hot to be this close up exchanging body heat." I groaned. "Not my choice that your wearing long sleeves in a heat wave." He teased.
My heart started throbbing, feeling like he was catching onto my old, disgusting arms... This cannot happen again. Just smile and play it off... Don't overthink it. "I already told you, they are sooo much more comfortable than short sleeves."
What am I even saying.
Hes going to catch on.
Hes gonna hate you, leave you and go tell the others and then they are gonna le-
"CHRISTINE!" Felix shouted in an annoyed tone.
I snapped out of my 'starring at the floor panicking thing. "Oh my god, I am so sorry Fee, I zoned out an-" I said in a panicked tone of voice, until Felix interrupted, "Hey, it's okay, I didn't mean to shout at you, I was just trying to get your attention, Nicky messaged the group chat."
Shit. I made a fool of myself by panicking.
"They wanna know if we all wanna go swimming tomorrow afternoon, since no one works Fridays, Emily and Catherine already agreed. Do you want to go?" He asked me a question I was NOT ready for. SWIMMING?! Oh my god. I can't be spiraling right now. Just answer the question.
"Uhh yeahhh.. Sure."
Why the fuck did I just say that. I can't let them see it. What would they think, how would they rea-
"Are you sure? You seem a bit worried.. Or anxious about it."
Shit shit shit shit shit...
"I will come but I might not be swimming I'll just stay in the cafe or somethin'" Yep. Good excuse. Good plan.
"Oh come onnnnnn! Why nottt?" He cried, teasing me.
Okay. Panic mode on I guess.
"I- Uhh- I- I just don't like swimming that much to be hone-" I was interrupted by me collapsing to the ground again due to the heat.
"Chris!" He cried. "Are you okay?"
Owww... My head hurts now. "Ugh... Yeah I- I'm fine."
"Come on Chris, stop scaring me like that" He teased again. "Sorry." I apologized.
"What's that?" He asked.
...
Panic struck. What the fuck did he see. You can't see any scars or cuts... What the fuck did he see..?
"Uh- What's... What's what?"
"That!" He points to my phone wallpaper.
It's us. On our first abroad trip together to Blackpool in England.. We were on a rollercoaster and I had snuck a picture, I decided to put it up as my wallpaper because I thought it was cute. "Oh. That, I- I can change it if u want me t-"
He fell down onto his knees infront of me and hugged me.
Wow, Felix? Hugging? ME?
I hugged back immediately. This is the most affection he has ever had towards me. It felt so comforting being this close up to him. "I'm guessing that you dont want me to change it, or this is reverse psychology.."
"Don't change it." He mumbled crawling further into my arms.
"I won't, Fee." I murmured. As hot as it already was, I'm heating up even faster while in this very long but nice hug, I never want to let go of him.
His phone buzzed, I reached out for it and passed it to him.
"Nicky: What fucking time are u gon' be here? It's been 20 mins since u were supposed to be here"
He was meant to meet up with Nicky at the tattoo shop they're opening, for Fee's piercing practice. "Shit, I have to go Chrissy, I was supposed to be at Nicks shop 20 minutes ago." He groaned.
"Oh yeah I forgot about that. Well see you later Fee!"
"See you."
As soon as I heard the door shut, the apartment went silent. All that heard was the kitchen fan and the cars from the city driving past.
I realized I was alone, I got up and put a short sleeve top on and went into the bathroom. Where, in which I thought, no one would barge into.
I walked slowly up to the mirror and starred.
God. I hate this body more than I hated Pomni. Where I couldn't see any scars, cuts or anything.
I rubbed my thumb up and down my arm, finding the lumpy feeling of cuts, weirdly comforting. But god. I needed that hug off Felix.
I turned a little and slowly slid down the wall. As I turned my head towards the bathroom door. There was Felix.