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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane is traded to Boston during the hookup era, and his attempts to act normal and professional around Rozanov are a little too successful: fans start shipping him with Marleau, instead.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,727
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    418
    Kudos:
    4,531
    Bookmarks:
    1,458
    Hits:
    34,528

    14 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    It’s the most famous cold case in hockey history. Up-and-coming Russian phenom Ilya Rozanov mysteriously vanishes the summer before his rookie season. Despite extensive police work, no trace of the young superstar is ever found.

    Shane Hollander remembers Ilya Rozanov. Better than most. And now, several years retired and with two highly successful hockey biographies under his belt, he’s taking a crack at the mystery that’s haunted his own career with strings of what-ifs and memories revisited so often they’ve softened like old cotton.

    Perhaps now, with the long eye of perspective between him and those memories, he can unravel the short lifetime of the man poised to become his biggest rival and best kept secret. Travelling to Russia he searches for stories and the answers they hold.

    If only this damn dog that’s apparently a local cryptid would stop raiding his trash cans.

     
    It has wandered this place for years. It knows every stream, every hill, every tree. Every pale, flat face in the place of straight lines. It does not know this face.

    But it remembers dark eyes and star-dots across the cheeks.
    It cannot remember its own name.

    But it remembers him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    60,993
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    504
    Kudos:
    1,347
    Bookmarks:
    679
    Hits:
    30,031

    07 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    "I don't mean to come here and freak you out," Scott said, though he knew there was no avoiding it. He'd been where they were before. It had felt like he was dying, back then. "I just don't want you to think you're the only ones, okay? There's lots of us."

    Their eyes snapped to him in unison, startled and intense. Hollander croaked, "What?"

    "There's over sixteen hundred guys in the MLH and AHL," he reminded them, because it had felt improbable to him when he first heard until he remembered the sheer size of the hockey world. "There's — well, we don't know how many of us there are, but there's at least seventeen of us that know each other. Plus you two. We watch out for each other."

    His eyes enormous, Hollander asked, "There's, what? A secret underground gay hockey network?"

    Scott shrugged. "Yeah, basically."

    ----

    Ilya and Shane find their way into The Tennis Club, a network of closeted hockey players that hook up - so long as everyone keeps it casual. Which is no problem! They can do casual, right?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    81,286
    Chapters:
    11/27
    Comments:
    2,177
    Kudos:
    1,579
    Bookmarks:
    581
    Hits:
    34,079

    02 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark 54

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    A girl in every port. That is what Hayden had said. So that’s what Shane does. He’s got Jessica in Montreal, Lily in Boston, and he hooks up at least once a year on the road. Sure, Jessica is just a friend, and Lily isn’t even a girl, and the girls he meets in clubs and bars never get his phone number, but he’s trying. He just hasn’t met the right girl yet. Someone who can tolerate his lifestyle. Who doesn’t see him as just a friend. A girl who fits right.

    He knows he’s not really trying, because he’s got Rozanov a few times a year and the sex is so great that everything else pales in comparison. But hooking up with Rozanov isn’t the same as having a girlfriend. He’s just delaying the inevitable.

    Or, comphet is one helluva drug.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,626
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    193
    Bookmarks:
    54
    Hits:
    1,435

    02 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    June 2010. Ilya Rozanov is delayed after the CCM shoot. By the time he gets to the locker room, Shane Hollander is out of the showers and Ilya’s entire plan is ruined.
    Only not quite fully ruined. Hollander invites him to dinner with his parents as a thank you for arranging the shoot and Ilya, in a burst of insanity, agrees. He hits it off with Yuna and David. They all exchange numbers. He and Hollander become friends.
    At no point does Ilya stop wanting more from him.

    June 2016. Ilya Rozanov is a superstar. A Cup winner. An MVP. Women want him, men want to be him. He’s fucking miserable.
    He’s in love with his best friend. He can’t deny it anymore. Only now Shane is dating a movie star and happier than Ilya’s ever seen him. Ilya can’t ruin that for him, can’t ruin their friendship by asking for what he knows Shane can’t give. No matter how much it kills him.

    A charity event in San Francisco. A catastrophic computer failure. A fateful decision to drive, not fly. Two days in a car, just the two of them. Alone. Together.
    Ilya’s sick with excitement and with dread, because how can he keep his secrets with Shane so close for so long?

    What he doesn’t know is that Shane has secrets too.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,954
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    869
    Kudos:
    5,851
    Bookmarks:
    1,877
    Hits:
    67,337

    01 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    The YEARNING

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Uh,” he says, looking up from his screen and feeling his ears go hot, realizing for the first time that this habit of his hasn’t actually come up before until this exact moment.

    “What?” Rozanov asks, sounding more amused than anything else. “You are one of the people who does Instagram for food now?”

    “No,” Shane says, stalling between answering and finishing his Snap so he can send it to Melissa, “one sec.” He finishes typing out 'Tuna melt. Chips. Pickles. It smells really good. Swiss cheese, I think.' before he looks back to Rozanov, putting his phone facedown on the coffee table. “Just sending it to someone on the staff. She likes knowing what I’m eating.”

    He doesn’t know if Melissa likes knowing what he’s eating, per se, but she also seems pleased when he talks about enjoying food for things beyond how many grams of protein it has in it.

    “Ah,” Rozanov says, in a tone Shane can’t quite read. “You always send her your food then, this girl?”

    (shane has a habit of sending his team's dietician his meals for approval) (the problem with this habit? he forgets to tell ilya exactly what it is that melissa does) (how the tuna meltdown is AVERTED through the power of miscommunication)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    19,481
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    492
    Kudos:
    6,772
    Bookmarks:
    1,408
    Hits:
    35,208

    30 Jun 2026

  7. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “He wants doll brushes because he’s seen the girls at the park brushing their plushies with them. Their dolls too, obviously. But he wants to brush that pelt you brought him-”

    David sets his crossword book down, giving Yuna his full attention.

    “What?”

    “The pelt of fur? Looks like a wolf, or maybe one of those big cats?” Yuna says, waving her hand dismissively. “Either way, I don’t think doll brushes are the right choice. We can look into getting him a set of actual grooming tools, he needs to learn that the right tools for the right job are an important-”

    “Yuna. Sweetheart.” David interrupts. “I did not buy our son a piece of dead animal as a souvenir from Russia.”

    OR

    Ilya loses something important at the airport; years later, Shane gives it back to him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,713
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    270
    Kudos:
    3,598
    Bookmarks:
    830
    Hits:
    19,862

    28 Jun 2026

  8. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    As a straight man, Ilya Rozanov has never had a gay roommate before, but it’s going pretty well. Shane Hollander is kind, silly, and an even bigger hockey nut than Ilya.

    So when Shane starts bringing men over, and Ilya begins to want to bash their fucking heads in, Ilya comes to a startling conclusion: He must be homophobic.

    (He’s jealous.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,186
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    4,273
    Kudos:
    43,098
    Bookmarks:
    11,986
    Hits:
    566,414

    12 Jun 2026

  9. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Hollander’s eyes slid past him, stopped, came back and held, his eyes widening. Ilya smiled, a mocking curve of his mouth, and raised his cup in acknowledgment. Number one, he mouthed, and while he couldn’t be certain in the dim light of the bar, he thought he saw Hollander flush.

    Then his chin lifted, challenging, and Ilya felt something hook behind his ribs, a sharp tug, like a fish on a line.

     

    Or: Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander make a deal - whichever of them debuts as a #1 NYT bestseller owes the other a blowjob

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,370
    Chapters:
    16/16
    Comments:
    3,040
    Kudos:
    3,548
    Bookmarks:
    1,599
    Hits:
    77,795

    11 Jun 2026

  10. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane knew what people said about sharing true names: that it made sex better, like fucking bare except with all your witch senses involved, that even for people with no witch gift to speak of it was like your entire body was on fire. It probably wouldn’t be like that with Ilya, because sex with Ilya already felt like his entire body was on fire.

    A universe in which the stakes for tuna meltdown are totally different and also kind of the same. Love, witchcraft, and true names.

    Note: If you read this before 3/23, I recently realized that a key scene at the end of Chapter 7 didn’t make the leap from my google doc. Now fixed! Now with more feelings!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    29,937
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    216
    Kudos:
    1,225
    Bookmarks:
    430
    Hits:
    21,453

    11 Jun 2026

  11. Public Bookmark 43

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    Summary

    “Hollander,” Ilya says, eyebrows so high up his forehead they almost disappear into his hairline, “why the fuck do you have three copies of this?”

     

    Or, Shane owns three copies of MLH17. Why? Oh, wouldn't you like to know, Russian boy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,092
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    481
    Bookmarks:
    43
    Hits:
    2,764

    08 Jun 2026

  12. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    “Sweetheart, your pretty little head is so silly. For every photocard I make of ugly hockey men, I make two of my gorgeous, radiant, pulchritudinous boyfriend. Sometimes three.”

    A smile breaks through the heated haze of Shane’s expression. “You’ve been using the thesaurus Dad got you for Christmas?”

    “I will beat Yuna Hollander at Scrabble one day,” Ilya declares against Shane’s hip bone.

    In the year between the Cottage and the Centaurs, Ilya misses Shane more than ever. Svetlana’s teenage cousin offers a coping method: Kpop-style Shane Hollander photocards to stare at all day long. It's a shame carrying around pictures of fellow hockey players is just not socially acceptable.

    …At least, not yet.
     
    (AKA: Ilya's mission to desensitize the hockey world to his Hollander fanboyisms, and the NHL players that suffer for it.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    35,708
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    635
    Kudos:
    7,560
    Bookmarks:
    2,456
    Hits:
    103,919

    07 Jun 2026

  13. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya is not going to steal Shane Hollander's dog. That would be illegal. And wrong. And someone would probably find out and make Ilya give him back.

    So. Not stealing.

    But there is nothing wrong with giving Chernysh all the pats and treats that he deserves, is there?

    Nothing wrong with encouraging Chernysh to spend more and more time at Ilya's house until he doesn't even remember who Hollander is.

    Because Hollander is stupid and boring and does not deserve a dog as good as Chernysh. No, he doesn't, does he? Because Chernysh is the best boy in the whole world, yes he is.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    68,349
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    3,351
    Kudos:
    13,380
    Bookmarks:
    5,132
    Hits:
    190,974

    01 Jun 2026

  14. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    At the 2017 All Star Weekend, Ilya takes fate into his own hands to produce at least one out MLH player by the end of the season. Thus begins his part-time side hustle as community organizer, mastermind, and Commander-in-Chief of the Gay Hockey Army.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    178,502
    Chapters:
    42/42
    Collections:
    29
    Comments:
    18,852
    Kudos:
    16,924
    Bookmarks:
    5,659
    Hits:
    669,627

    19 May 2026

  15. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Good riddance, he thinks. Or maybe feels obligated to think. He’s not sure. It feels like a natural thing to think about a brother who hit you and insulted you and extorted you for most of your short, miserable time together. He’s thought about it before, Alexei dying. The life he lived had not been conductive to longevity.

    I am the last Rozanov, he thinks, and that is an emotion he can parse, finally: closure. Like setting the last piece down in a puzzle.

    It’s only after the first puff of smoke escapes his lips that Ilya remembers Alexei’s daughter.

    Or:
    Two years after he gets married, Ilya Rozanov receives the news that his older brother has died.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    27,055
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    275
    Kudos:
    2,224
    Bookmarks:
    623
    Hits:
    15,906

    18 May 2026

  16. Public Bookmark 6

    Words:
    0
    Works:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    6

    16 May 2026

  17. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Hi,” Ilya says, his attempt at making his voice a purr lost to how fucking happy he is, to have this, to see Shane Hollander in a way no one else ever gets to. He crosses the room and kneels over him, pulling him up into a kiss that Shane gives him easily, making a sweet, soft noise that makes Ilya want to bite him with how cute it is. Instead, he gets a handful of the edge of the soft, fuzzy blanket to whip it off of Shane and replace it with his own body-

    -only to be stopped when the blanket turns out to be far, far fucking heavier than he anticipated, pulling him up short when his attempt at a flick ends with barely moving the edge before it flops back down with audible weight.

    (ilya versus shane's weighted blanket)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,155
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    316
    Kudos:
    6,362
    Bookmarks:
    1,394
    Hits:
    36,538

    04 May 2026

  18. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    He gnaws at the guilt of his own actions the way Anya does her chew toys for days after, Shane clearly picking up on something going on with him but also giving him space to work it over in his head until he’s ready to share.

    Right up until they’re out at team dinner and the two other smokers at the table excuse themselves for a smoke outside and Shane looks to him expectantly-

    -only to frown when Ilya stays where he is.

    (how and why ilya finally gives up smoking)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,365
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    227
    Kudos:
    6,291
    Bookmarks:
    953
    Hits:
    28,466

    04 May 2026

  19. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Rozanov made a dismissive noise. “No, no, I will pick you up. Send me your address.”

    “I’m not giving you my home address.”

    “Why not!”

    “Because you’ll probably post it on social media to psych me out before our next game.”

    That made Rozanov laugh. “It is good idea,” he said. Stopped laughing. Started again. Blew out a breath like he had to get himself together. “I might do this to you,” he allowed, “but you have nice boyfriend living with you now. I would not do this to him. You are safe.”

     

    In which Ilya Rozanov adopts himself into Scott and Kip's household and refuses to leave. Kip finds this very sweet. Scott is going to kill him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    32,878
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Comments:
    2,504
    Kudos:
    13,145
    Bookmarks:
    3,927
    Hits:
    124,707

    30 Apr 2026

  20. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane has been missing for a long, long time.

    Or: Ilya goes on a road trip. Somewhere along the way, he finds himself again.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    48,362
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    824
    Kudos:
    4,350
    Bookmarks:
    2,978
    Hits:
    180,863

    27 Apr 2026

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